Related to Not Really My Assignment.
Hmmm… I figured that I would do a song-fic thing. Just because I had the semi-perfect song for Larxene. O, so semi-perfect. Yeah, I was listening to the Pink Spiders on the way to a church picnic yesterday, and I realized: Wow, they've got like three songs that make me think of Larxene.
I don't own the song or Kingdom Hearts. Out of characterness should be expected. Not a Demyx/Larxene. Far from it, actually.
Song being used is Modern Swinger. This is what happens after Luxord and Xigbar pass out certain pictures of Demyx to the other members of Organization XIII. I figured Larxene would give him the hardest time, and I wanted to write a song-fic thingy about the song and occurrence, SO I DID! Enjoy, hopefully.
- - -
My baby's pretty as a car crash,
Sexy as the stinger of a hornet in your arm…
Larxene laughed at Demyx, as he launched himself at her, trying to grab the pictures as she jumped onto the sofa of the den. What pictures you might ask? Well, basically, pictures of Demyx cowering on a balcony in his boxers as certain Nobodies tried to get him to 'finish the job' as the loser of Strip Go Fish.
"Larxene! This isn't funny! Give them to me, now!" the boy whined.
"And ruin my fun?" she said in a mock-thoughtful voice. "Hah! Never!" The Savage Nymph jumped nimbly from the couch to the glass-top coffee table (not breaking it, either) and then onto the floor, as she skirted an armchair and ran out the entrance of the den. Demyx, after picking himself up off of the floor, stomped his foot and ran after her.
Just another modern swinger…
Larxene ran down so many random hallways, it was surprising she hadn't hit a dead end yet. It didn't really matter if she did, though; she could just use a portal to go somewhere else if that happened. Demyx was behind her at all times. Suddenly, she turned around, in the middle of the hallway they were currently in, and held the pictures out in front of her. Running as fast he was, Number IX almost ran into the girl.
"Aww, Demyx, you look so cute in this one!" she jeered, holding up one of him hugging his knees on the floor of the balcony, in an 'emo' position.
"It is NOT cute!" he yelled, grabbing for them just as she jumped back. "Give those to me!"
She turned to the side, and started 'admiring' the picture. "Aww, Demyx, you make such a cute emo kid! In fact, I think you look even more emo than Zexion, in this picture," she smirked, while giving him a side-glance. Larxene then turned on her heel and ran past the boy, grinning impishly. "Catch me if you can, dumbass!" she screamed at him.
Demyx stomped his foot again and had a mini-tantrum. "I would catch you if you would just slow down!" he yelled after her, and then started chasing her again.
Screaming 'Catch me if you can!'
With a cigarette in hand…
Number XII had disappeared. Demyx looked all along the hallway he was in, and down the connecting ones. Where the Hell did she go…? he thought to himself. As he continued to look for her, he heard a commotion from the kitchen. Thinking that it must be her, he ran as fast as he could to get there; completely neglecting the fact that he could have just opened a portal to get there.
Her reckless decadence is taking things a little too far…
"Larxene! Get the Hell off the counter right now!" growled Vexen. He had been trying to sit in peace and read the latest copy of some random newspaper (yes, the author is too lazy to think up a name for one) and drink his coffee. Instead, he was distracted by a certain blonde girl who was, at that time, doing a victory dance on the counter.
"Hah! Make me, old man," she sneered at him.
Number IV's look of frustration turned into one of pure hatred. "I am not that old! The only reason I look as old as I do is because I'm up all night performing the Superior's worthless experiments! This causes me to get bags under my eyes! Lack of sleep gives you wrinkles! I'm not that old! Now get down!"
Larxene just jumped up a little and did her 'dance' again, bent down to look the elder Nobody in the eye and spoke one, simple word. "No." She then started strutting around on the counter and giggling to herself with a smug look on her face.
Vexen sighed irritably and rested his chin in his palm and took a long drink of coffee. "You know, you're completely destroying your reputation as 'Bitch' and reinventing yourself as 'Brat'. I personally prefer Bitch, myself."
For a moment, Larxene's face went slack. "Ya know what…? I don't care!" she said the last part rather savagely and kicked her superior's mug of coffee into his face and sent the mug to the floor where it shattered.
Vexen shrieked. His shrill cry was what reached The Melodious Nocturne's ears and brought him to the kitchen. Which is exactly what happened next. A portal appeared out of nowhere and Demyx walked out; Larxene, seeing her fellow blonde, smirked maliciously at him. "Larxene, you little brat! You should never assault a superior!" The Chilly Academic yelled at her, while summoning his shield-thingy.
"Yeah! You tell her, Vexen!" Demyx cheered from where his portal ended.
The girl just ignored Vexen's comment as she continued to stare at Demyx. Her demeanor suddenly changed to… sweet, as Vexen was about to perform some sort of ice spell on her. "O, Vexen! I forgot you were here; silly me," she said innocently. This stopped him in the middle of his spell, and made both he and Demyx to send her suspicious and weirded-out glares. "I do so hope that coffee comes out of your coat. By the by, did you happen to receive any of these 'interesting' pictures today?" Larxene asked, crouching down on the counter and holding one of the pictures out for him to see.
At first, Vexen was shocked at the blonde girl's sudden change in behavior. Then he registered what she was holding out in front of his face: a picture of Demyx trying to cover himself up with both his arms and a leg… in only his boxers. The first thing that came onto Vexen's face was a look of disgust for the initial shock. But then he couldn't help but laugh. Hysterically. "What th--the Hell is that?" he asked between laughs.
Larxene held the picture up to her face and then looked at Demyx. "Well, when I was given the picture, Luxord told me it was Demyx trying to run away from his loss at Strip Go Fish."
Demyx crossed his arms and scowled at the girl. "They didn't tell me it was Strip Go Fish! Xigbar and Luxord teamed up to ruin my life!" he whined. "Now give those here, you little bitch!" yelled Demyx, charging at the blonde on the counter.
She jumped off, on the opposite side he was on and stuck her tongue out at him tauntingly. "Or, ya know, how about I don't?" Larxene then opened a portal leading to God knows where and ran through.
"Fuuuuuck….." Demyx stated annoyed. Vexen was practically hyperventilating (even though they don't really need to breathe) from laughing. "Stop your laughing, it's rude! And the pictures are not that funny!" he shouted at Number IV before opening a portal of his own leading to where he thought Larxene might be and then stomped in.
My baby's pretty as a car crash,
Subtle as a splinter.
Yeah, my baby's smooth as sandpaper,
Warm, just like the winter…
"Marluxia, if you have anything against Demyx and prefer me over him, then you had better let me hide here," Larxene pled/begged the pink-haired Organization member. "If you don't let me hide here, I swear by everything unholy in this world, I will castrate you where you stand and force feed your little buddies to you," she said with a completely serious face.
Marluxia just stared at her, registering exactly what she said. "Well… that was… blunt. Of course I prefer you over Demyx; especially with him playing that shit song to me yesterday," he fumed. "Yes, you can hide here. There's a bathroom, under the bed, behind the couch, uhh--behind that wall," he pointed to a small portion of the wall that stuck off in the corner, where he had some couches and an armchair, "in the bed, on the other si--"
"What the fuck was that last part?" she asked, irritated, and crossed her arms.
"Nothing, as I was saying," he said smugly, with a cocky grin on his face, "you can hide on the other side of my desk… And that's about it…" As Number XI said the last part, there was some loud banging on the door. Larxene gave Marly a devious grin and ran to the bathroom, closing the door on her way in. "I wonder if this has something to do with those pictures… I'm coming!" he yelled as that 'someone' on the other side of the door 'knocked' again. The Graceful Assassin walked gracefully over to the door, where he gracefully ripped it open (which means he gracefully pulled it open with a great force). On the other side was a rather pissed off Demyx. "Well, hello, Number IX, what might I do for you today?" asked Marluxia through gritted teeth.
"Where's Larxene?" he asked simply, sounding semi-aggravated.
The Graceful Assassin mocked confusion. "Now whatever are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about!" Demyx replied, pushing past him and into the elder's horribly tidy room. "Where is she?" he asked, looking around. Marly was about to say something, but then Demyx said something. Something. "Ah! I know where she is! In the bathroom, right?" The younger man/boy walked over to the bathroom and opened the door. Inside the shower was running and there was steam everywhere.
"Ack! Marluxia… You pervert!" Larxene said coyly, knowing all too well that it was Demyx. Then, out of nowhere (rather, out of the shower) flew three kunai knives hitting the door beside Number IX's right shoulder.
"Holy fuck!" he screamed. Then, the shower curtain was thrown open and there stood Larxene, dripping wet (but still in her Organization robe, you pervert!).
"O, Demyx, you naughty boy!" she said in a mock-playful tone, with underlying notes of malice, while pretending to cover herself up.
"Where are the pictures, Larxene?" he asked sternly.
"I have no idea!" she said, while running past him and grabbing the pictures off of the counter in the process.
"What?" he yelled. "They were right in front of me?" He then took off after her, exiting Marluxia's room in a hurry, as he knew the pink-haired fairy princess man was still angry with him for the song the day before.
"You assholes ruined my door!" roared Marly, as he walked in the bathroom and looked at the three kunai knives sticking out of said door.
And I think I'm tapping out,
I think I'm gonna skip the title bout…
Elsewhere (otherwise known as 'in the den'):
"Check," Luxord stated. He'd gotten Xigbar's king along the side of the chessboard using a rook, a bishop, and his queen. Xigbar had one move, back into the corner. One move of the queen after that and it'd be the fabled… checkmate, that The Gambler of Fate could so easily pull off.
"Well, that's surprising…" Xigbar grumbled sarcastically and studying the moves he had open. "So, you handed out the pictures?" he asked the gambler, while moving his king into a corner, the only move he had open.
"Of course I handed them out. Do you hear that screaming?" he asked, and Xigbar nodded. "That would be Demyx running after Larxene; she's been taunting him for nearing four hours, now, about those bloody pictures. The fool never saw it coming. He'd completely forgotten about them until today, in fact," the blonde explained. He moved his queen, boxing in The Freeshooter's king.. "Checkmate," he said casually, leaning back into his armchair.
"Well fuck. Why do I always agree to play this?" Number II asked rhetorically.
"Nothing better to do?"
"As if! I could be redecorating my room again!" Xigbar informed him, spreading his arms for emphasis. "Just as long as I don't have to go to… night school again…" he shuddered. They sat in silence for nearly a minute. "So, ya wanna go see how the chase is going?" Xigbar offered.
"No, I think I'm going to miss that," Luxord replied. "Now, when the other members discover the pictures I've slipped under their doors, there's no way in Hell that I'd miss that." Luxord smirked as he pulled his cawds out of his hood and started shuffling them lazily. "Wanna go find Axel and play Strip Go Fish with him?"
Xigbar nodded eagerly.
My baby's pretty as a car crash,
Sexy as the stinger of a hornet in your arm,
Just another modern swinger.
Screaming 'Catch me if you can!'
With a cigarette in hand…
Larxene ran down the stairs from the eleventh floor, all the way down to the lobby, wet boots squelching with each step, with Demyx running just as quickly after her.
"Give them to me!" he yelled, as they ran past the snack machines where Roxas went into a random giggle fit when he saw the two.
"You can't make me!" she teased in a sing-song voice, still ahead of him and dripping water everywhere. Then… (dramatic Dun dun dunnnnnn) She came to a dead end. To escape, she opened a portal and ran in, but right before it closed Demyx jumped in after her. The portal led to the kitchen. Vexen had vacated it since the prior happenings, but Lexaeus was inside enjoying a bagel. When Larxene ran out of the portal, she casually sat down at the counter across from Lexaeus (unbeknownst to her, Demyx followed).
"Hey, big guy! What's up?" she said casually, and blowing one of the two loose strands of hair out of her face.
"Why are you wet? O, and I'm eati--Hello Demyx," Lexaeus said as he saw the musician run out of the portal just after he started his sentence. I was wondering why that hadn't closed yet, he thought about the portal.
"Wha--?" Larxene started, but was cut off as Demyx tackled her. "Don't touch me there!" He tried to get a comfortable position on her so he could get the pictures from her; finally, Demyx sat down on her stomach with his feet behind him, pinning her legs in place, while he tried to reach her hand where she held the pictures. "Get off me, you little bastard!" she shrieked at him.
"Give me the pictures!" he said forcefully, while trying to reach her hands.
"Make me! Get. Off!" she commanded, trying to squirm her legs free. For a little toothpick man and a sort of not so good fighter, he was actually pretty strong.
"Not until you give me those pictures!" he yelled at her, while covering her mouth with one hand as he reached for her hand that held the pictures. She bit his hand, causing him to let out an ear-splitting screech. "You little bitch! I hate you! Gimme the fucking pictures!"
Lexaeus, calmly watching the entire happening laughed softly to himself. "Demyx, don't curse, it's rude. And what pictures?" As he asked, the scuffle stopped and the two looked at him. Larxene still had a grip on Demyx's hand with her teeth.
"The ones of me… in a… well… It had to do with Go Fish and a balcony," Demyx said shamefully, turning slightly pink in the cheeks.
"You mean the ones of you cowering in your boxers?"
Larxene spit the other blonde's hand out. "Hell yeah! He's been chasing me around all day trying to get them from me," said Larxene scornfully.
"Well, Demyx… Everybody has them. Luxord slipped them under our doors," Lexaeus explained, smiling.
"What…? I chased her around all day… thinking…?" he trailed off, just as someone's high-pitched laughter met the trio's ears. "Vexen…..?"
"Very likely," The Silent Hero agreed. " He just left the kitchen a few moments ago; he probably just found the pictures."
Demyx lifted himself off of Larxene and sat down at the counter. He rested his forehead against said counter and started to grumble curse words to himself. Larxene picked herself up off the floor and started to brush off her robe. (This paragraph sucks.)
"See, Demyx, you didn't need to chase me around all day, everyone had the pictures," she told him, patting him on the back and trying to sound sympathetic. Her demeanor changed entirely with the next sentence. "If you want, you can accompany me down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart to make copies of them…? If you'd like…?" she offered with a smirk on her face. Demyx's head shot up off the table, as he saw the girl open a portal and run through. It closed before he could follow.
"Lexaeus… I'm begging you: behead me with that over-sized axe of yours," he said miserably. Number V just chuckled and patted him on the back before walking off to his room, leaving the younger Nobody to curse his (non-)existence.
She's pretty as a car crash,
Subtle as a splinter.
Yeah, my baby's smooth as sandpaper,
Warm just like the winter…
- - -
The End.
- - -
Like it? I think I might be proud of it. xD Ya know, even if it wasn't as amusing as anything else I've written and put on FanFiction. None of the song was repeated, if you're wondering why the same lines were used over. That's how the song goes (with certain verses and such being omitted).
Review? You know you wanna. I know you wanna.
Dontcha think parts of that song really fit Larxene. Especially the 'warm just like the winter' line. That's the one that really got me and inspired me to write (type) this.
My apologies for calling Marluxia something about a fairy princess or whatever it was. I love Marly, I really do! That's why he's in everything I've written. :D Same as Luxord (though, he was only mentioned in The Snack Machine).