A/N: This is my sequel to 'Do You Wish It Was Me?'. I'm not sure how much I like it, but I got what I wanted across with it. Hopefully you enjoy it, if not, sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own any thing or any one familiar from the Harry Potter world.
I Wish It Was You
I've known Ron forever. I love him, but that doesn't mean I still don't love him more. How awful am I? Ron's down on one knee in front of his whole family, asking me to marry him, and all I can do is ask myself why the eyes I'm staring into are blue and not a deep brown. Of course, I said yes and that brings me here, a week later staring at the announcement in the morning paper over breakfast. It's on the front page too.
I sigh, ignoring the rest of my breakfast, and begin to get ready for the day; I'm having a girl's day with Gin. The guys are doing "man things" today so we've got the whole day to do what ever. I'm sure that most of it will consist of wedding plans. One thing I learned about the Weasley family is that once an engagement is announced they waste no time in planning a wedding.
Like any little girl, I've always had a dream wedding planned in my head. Countless pink roses, a beautiful white dress, smiling faces of friends and families, bride's maids in royal blue, my dad walking me down the aisle, countless little details, the one thing never present was the groom. Now though, when I picture that dream wedding, nine times out of ten I see a handsome dark skinned boy rather than the light and freckly complexion of my fiance.
There are many times I catch myself wishing I hadn't left Blaise. We had something special. That wasn't enough for me though. I spent two and a half years with Blaise. Two and a half years of endless adventure, romance, passion and spontaneity. What was missing was the only thing Ron could give me that he couldn't, a promise.
Sure Blaise said he loved me. Even said he'd love me forever. What good is it to love me forever though when I don't get the promiseof forever? Two and a half years and Blaise showed no signs of wanting to further our relationship. Ten months and I'm engaged to Ron. I choose to sacrifice the exciting and unpredictable life with one man for a promising life with another.
I miss Blaise terribly, but he couldn't give me the one thing I needed.
"Hermione! I'm here!" Ginny calls from the living room of the flat I share with Ron.
"I'll be right there. Just have to finish getting ready!" I answer.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
"Ginny! Can you get that owl for me?"
"Sure thing Mione!" After a pause she calls back to me, "Hermione I think you need to get this. The bloody bird keeps biting my finger when I reach to get the letter!"
"Fine," I sigh, "I'm coming."
I round the corner into my sitting room and promptly freeze upon seeing the owl. It's Anastasia. That's his owl. She hoots happily when she spots me. Immediately flying to me, nuzzling her head into my hand. After my shock wheres off I take the letter, give her a treat and she's on her way back out the window.
"Are you going to open it?" Ginny asks confused after a couple silent minutes of staring at the letter.
"I'm not sure." What could he want? It's been a year and I just got engaged. Why did he have to write now of all times?
"What's wrong Hermione?" concern is heavy in Ginny's voice.
"That was Blaise's owl," I say quietly. Understanding passes Ginny's face.
"Maybe he just wanted to congratulate you. The engagement announcement was in the paper today," she says, though by her tone you can tell full well that she knows that's not what the letter is about.
"I guess the only way to know is to open it," I sigh. I quickly unfold it and read it aloud for her benefit, getting angrier at each word. "Is the life that you've chosen free from regret? Or is what might've been just too hard to forget? Has the glitter all faded? Do you get what you need? Are you satisfied baby? Or do you wish it was me?"
I just stare at the letter, not wanting to believe what was clearly there. Did he seriously feel it was appropriate to write that to me? Did he not take the hint when I started hanging out at all new places the past year to avoid him? Did it not go through his thick head when I said Ron was my best decision?
"Who does he think he is?" I ask harshly, startling Ginny with my tone.
"Mione?" she asks timidly. "If I told you something would you promise to at least try and not get angry with me?"
"I'll try, but if you have to warn me good luck."
"Look Mi, Blaise really loved you. You might question that, but I don't have to. I tried to tell you before too, but you wouldn't listen. You know I knew him in school and you know I happen to keep up on gossip and know about his dating history."
"Your point please?"
"Hermione, Blaise hasn't ever been with a girl as long as he was with you. You meant the world to him. And he hasn't been with any girl since."
"Just because you haven't heard it in your gossip circle doesn't mean it hasn't happened."
"It does when I have a very close friend of his in my gossip circle."
"Which of his friends do you talk to? None of them mentioned to me that they talk to you."
"Astoria. That's not the point though. The point is that Blaise would do anything for you. He let you go because he thought you'd be happy. Astoria says he has an engagement ring in his dresser too you know. Her and Draco were trying to force him to go on a vacation just after you left him and she was in charge of packing his bags. Apparently it's in his top drawer beside his socks."
An engagement ring? That must not be right. It must have been a piece of family jewelry, his mother's old ring or something. Blaise didn't want to marry me.
"You still with me Mione?" Ginny interrupts my thoughts. "You know I love my brother and want him to be happy. That doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy too though. I caught the look in your eyes when he got down on one knee. I see every time that out of the corner of your eye when you notice a dark skinned man walk by and you do a double take to see if it's him. You're my best friend Hermione, but you aren't supposed to be with my brother."
"It doesn't matter what you think you notice. I can't leave Ron. It's been a week and your mum probably has half the wedding planned already!"
"Who cares! This is supposed to be your happiest day! Where's the happiness when the whole time you're thinking of a different man!" Ginny screams at me.
"I won't let you convince me. Everything was fine until he felt the need to owl me."
"That's it!" Ginny says in frustration.
Before I can even respond she grabs at my arm and disapparates us. We land and I open my eyes. Of course she'd go here.
"You're a dead girl Ginny," I whisper.
"BLAISE!" she hollers. I hear what sounds like a cup smashing to the counter. "GET OUT HERE NOW!"
"Who the bloody hell are you to come into my house and demand…" he trails off as he enters the room. When am I going to learn to always keep my wand on me? I'm sure the thing is mocking me from the bathroom counter right now.
"You're here, lovely. I think some things need to be discussed. I'll be back for her in two hours." That said, Ginny disapparates again leaving me alone, fuming, in a room with Blaise. If I thought I wanted to kill her before, it's nothing compared to this.
"Hello," I say curtly, clutching the letter that's still in my hand for dear life.
"Hi."
"I don't have my wand so if you wouldn't mind could you apparate me back to my flat please?"
"No," he says simply.
"Why not?" I say, trying not to growl out the words.
"Ginny says things need to be discussed and she'll escort you out in two hours. I've no intentions of making her cross while she's got a wand available."
"Fine," I say stiffly. "I'll be waiting in the library for her then." I say while stalking down a hallway I know so well.
"Oh you'd like to talk in there? I can have Muffy bring some tea for us," he says following me down the hall, his tone making it clear he knew full well that that's not what I meant.
"No, I wouldn't like to talk in there." I turn to face him. "I was planning to read."
"That won't do. I told you I'm not angering Ginny. We'll need to talk," he says firmly. "We can ignore the matter at hand, but we'll have to do some sort of talking."
"Fine," I sigh. "In that case lets go to the third floor sitting room. You haven't changed it have you?" He shakes his head and we change directions.
At least there's one benefit out of this. I love that sitting room; he let me redesign it myself. It's got an amazing view of the grounds and the sunset is breathtaking. It's the only room that has Gryffindor anything in it too. I'm rather surprised he didn't change it. Once we settle in and Muffy brings us tea we fall into an awkward silence.
"Did you hear about Daphne?" he asks, breaking the silence.
"No. I haven't really spoken to her, or anyone else."
"Well I'm proud to say John and her are having a baby and have chosen me as a godfather," he says grinning broadly.
"That's wonderful news. They'll be great parents. Do pass on my congratulations. Who'd they choose for godmother?"
"They haven't. Who ever I end up marrying will become the godmother. They didn't want to choose someone else and have a debate about where the baby will go if anything happens."
"That's logical. And I suppose if anything were to happen to you, Astoria would be able to take over care of the baby."
"Looking to have me killed off eh?" he asks jokingly.
"Just as much as you're looking to have Daphne and John killed off," I smirk.
After that the conversation picked up easily. Blaise caught me up on anything I've missed with his friends and we talked about work. Both of us carefully avoided the Weasley topic. Ginny was the only Weasley that could be brought up with out confrontation. After an hour of talking Blaise apparently decided he needed the confrontation though.
"So you're engaged now are you?" he asks, bitterness in his tone.
"Yes, Ron asked a week ago and I agreed. You knew that though; it was in the paper. Why else would you have written to me today?"
"What? You think I wouldn't think of you unless I saw your name in the paper?" he asks offended.
"Well you haven't for a year now, so yeah, that's what I happen to think."
"Rubbish. Just because I haven't written doesn't mean I could ever stop thinking about you."
"Don't do this to me Blaise! Do not make things hard. In one more hour I can walk back out of your life and we can each just go on."
"Who says I want you to walk out of my life? It was hard enough the first time. I don't know if I can handle a second time."
"You'll have to handle it. I'm not with you anymore. I belong to Ron."
"You belong to no one but yourself Hermione. You can be with me if you wanted to. Please just tell me you want to."
"No Blaise, I left for a reason. Ron offers me what you can't."
"I can offer you everything he has and more."
"No you can't!" I scream at him. "If I thought you could have given me what I needed I would have stayed! You just can't!"
"What the bloody hell do you need then? What's this big thing I don't seem able to provide?" he screams back. "All I ever needed was you and you should have known I would have done anything to keep you!"
"Yeah, but keep me for how long Blaise? How long before you would be tired of me?"
"That's what you bloody think? You left because you thought I was going to bloody tire of you?" he screams incredulously.
He doesn't wait for my response before storming out of the room. I'm not finished with this conversation though. He got me going I'm going to say everything I need. I quickly follow him out and down the hall.
"Don't you walk away from me Blaise Zabini! I wasn't finished with you! You started this fight and we're going to finish it!"
"I'm not walking away from this fight."
"Looks that way to me."
"Yes well you don't always seem to see things correctly do you?" he asks harshly, ripping open the door to the bedroom we once shared. I immediately stalk in after him.
"And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?" I say, placing my hands on my hips.
"This is what it means." He rips open the top drawer of his dresser and, after shoving his hand in, chucks a small box at my feet.
I bend down and roughly grab it off the floor, opening it to reveal a ring. What Ginny had said earlier clicks in my head; right after I left, top drawer next to the socks, engagement ring. I look up at him and see he's watching me intensely. He nods towards the ring and I actually take the time to look at it now. It's gorgeous. It's got a princess-cut diamond in the center accented on either side by additional smaller diamonds and set in gold. I hold on to my thoughts from before though.
"Please, it's probably just some family jewelry you have around the house. I know you have pieces from your various step fathers and I'm sure this was just your mother's to be passed on."
"That's funny, because last time I checked my sister got all the woman's jewels passed down." Here he laughs humorlessly. "And you know what's so much more funny?"
I realize he's waiting for me to answer so I shake my head.
"You don't? How could you not? I guess I'll just have to tell you. Also the last time I checked, there are strict spells on family jewels so no engravings can be on them. You know so they can still be passed on? What's so funny though, is that there is an engravement on that ring!"
As he continues to laugh humorlessly I pull out the ring and check the inside. He's right, it's engraved. I feel a bit stupid now. 'Three words are not enough' A small smile graces my lips as I read it.
I think back to when I finally told him I love him. He hadn't answered me, just smiled and kissed me. The rest of the night I felt so stupid for saying it. I thought he had felt the same, it was devastating. When he brought me home, right before he said goodnight, he leaned in and whispered, "Three words are not enough. My love for you is larger."
"Excuse me," Blaise says, drawing me from my thoughts. "I'd like that ring back, it's a family heirloom you know?" he mocks.
"That ring means nothing," I say as strong as I can manage while tossing it at his chest.
"We both know that's a lie."
"It means nothing Blaise! It's too late for it to mean anything!" I scream.
"It's not too late! That ring has been sitting in my dresser for over a year, it's been waiting for you!" he screams back.
"Waiting for me to what Blaise? It's your ring!"
"Waiting for you to come back home to me!" He hollers. He sighs and sits on his bed before continuing quietly. "I just thought you'd come home to me. I thought you loved me more than Ronald bloody Weasley. I thought you'd come back." By the end he's practically whispering.
"I did love you more than Ron! I still do! That doesn't change the fact that you can't give me what Ron can!"
"We just went over this though Hermione!" he says, voice regaining its volume. "What you wanted was to know I was seriously planning to be with you forever! You wanted me to promise you forever! That's what the bloody ring's for! I want to marry you. I want to give you forever with me! I just need you to give me forever! I need you to come back to me!"
"Its too late Blaise! You couldn't give me this before when I needed it. I have it now with someone else! You were just too late…"
"I wasn't though Hermione! Why can't you see that! I had the ring before you left. I was working on the plans to ask you. Ask your father; he'll tell you! I asked him permission and it was obviously before you left me! I wasn't too late! Please," he pleads.
"You say you asked my father then fine. Prove it. Apparate me to my parent's and I'll ask him."
He didn't really ask my father. He would have told me. He wouldn't have let me quit out on Blaise if he knew he was in it with me for the long run. He knew how much I loved Blaise.
"Fine!"
He rushes forwards and next thing I know I'm in my parent's living room. Maybe he wasn't bluffing. Or maybe he's just not as smart as I always thought he was.
"MR. GRANGER! ARE YOU HOME?"
"I'm in the kitchen!"
Blaise drags me towards the kitchen, still holding my hand firmly from the apparation.
"Blaise? What are you doing here? It's been a long time, how've you been?"
"Sorry dad, but we're not here for friendly chatter. We were just having a…discussion and need your input."
"I didn't even know you two were still in contact. I'm all ears."
"Mr. Granger, will you please tell your daughter that before she left me I did, in fact, come to you and ask permission to propose to her?"
"Oh. Well yes you did."
"Excuse me! Did you just say yes?"
"That's right dear. It was about a week before you broke up, had a lovely ring picked out as well." Blaise smirks.
"Dad why didn't you tell me?" I sigh.
"I couldn't very well ruin the surprise."
"What about after I left him. Why didn't you tell me then?"
"How would I work that into a conversation? 'I'm sorry to hear about you and Blaise sweetie, did you know he wanted to marry you?' That isn't something I would expect would make you happy after a break up."
"Oh dad."
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks confused.
"You didn't tell mum he asked you either did you?"
"Well no, I thought she'd enjoy the surprise as well. Again, I ask did I do something wrong?"
"Dad, I left Blaise because I didn't think he'd ever want to marry me. I thought we would just be in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage until he got bored with me."
"That's absurd. Anyone could tell Blaise was in it for the long run. Maybe if I would have known why you had broken up I could have helped. That'll teach you not to tell me things."
"Dad please don't try to guilt trip me right now."
"Fine. Does this mean you'll be getting back together with Blaise then?"
"No dad. I'm engaged to Ron remember?"
"NO! Come on! This is getting ridiculous!" Blaise hollers. "You already said you still love me more than the Weasel. I proved I had plans of forever with you! And I've basically been pleading with you to come back!"
"I'm already engaged Blaise! I can't just walk out on him now!"
"Hermione, dear, may I have a say in this?" She gives a reluctant nod, she knows her dad always favored Blaise over Ron. "As your father I can only give you advice, the choice is yours. Just think about what I have to say. You can have your forever with both of these boys. The question you have to ask yourself though is which boy would you want to spend forever with? Twenty years from now, when you wake up, whose face do you want to see lying next to you? When you can answer that you'll have your choice."
Well that's simple. I'll want to see Blaise. I want to see him now I'm sure I'll see him twenty years from now. I can't just leave Ron though. I told him I would spend forever with him. I hate Ginny for bringing me to Blaise's. I hate Blaise for even writing me a letter. And I hate myself for knowing that I'm about to hurt one of these great men.
"Thanks dad. Blaise, can you please bring us back to your house? Ginny should be there for me soon."
"Let me know how things work out," Her dad calls as Blaise grabs her hand again to apparate.
"What's it going to be Hermione? Me or him?"
"I won't be answering until Ginny gets here. I'll need to have a quick discussion with her."
"She can't decide for you."
"I know she can't. You shouldn't complain though, she brought me here for a reason ya know."
We sit in silence until Ginny returns, staring out at the grounds. I'm steeling myself for the choice I have to make. Blaise is staring at me with an intensity that makes me assume he's trying to simply will me to pick him.
"HERMIONE! BLAISE! YOU GUYS STILL HERE?"
I quickly evacuate my chair and rush towards her voice. I see she's not alone, Astoria's with her. I'm sure news that I'm here is all over the gossip circle now.
"How'd it go? Are you back together?"
"I need to ask you something Ginny."
"Oh…ok."
"Will you still be my friend if I picked Blaise?"
"Of course I will! I told you to pick him!"
"And your family? Would they come around at all?"
"Eventually they will. I mean, it'll certainly take awhile, but they love you like you were one of us. They'll come around."
"Are you picking him then?" Astoria asks excitedly.
"Yes are you picking me then?" Blaise echos, heading down the hall towards us.
"You'll give me forever? You'll give me marriage? Kids? Forever?"
"Yes, Hermione. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'll give you anything you want."
I stay silent for a few moments before slowly walking towards him. I stop in front of him, just staring at his eyes. The deep brown eyes I always picture. With out a second thought I close the gap and my lips are on his. He groans at the contact that we haven't shared in so long, his strong arms pulling me close around the waist.
"Hey Hermione?" Ginny laughs.
"What?"
"Before this goes any further do you think you could at least break up with my brother? I'm okay with you leaving him, but let's not cheat on him first."
"You always were one to ruin my fun Ginny," Blaise says with mock annoyance.
"How about this? We go back to Ron and Mione's flat and pack up all her things. I assume you'll be moving back in here?"
"Oh she will be!" Blaise says quickly.
"It's so good to have you back Hermione!" Astoria says, rushing to hug me. "Draco and the others will be so pleased!"
"It's good to be back."
"Oh! Do you know what this means?" She asks, looking frantically between Blaise and myself.
"No…" I say slowly, not entirely sure I want to know.
"You're going to be the godmother! Daphne will be so pleased it's you!"
"Astoria, calm down!" Ginny says. "Let's go move her in."
We all apparate to my flat to pack my stuff. I'm startled to see Harry and Ron sitting on the couch. Both heads turn to see whom just apparated in, Ron's face instantly turning red.
"What…what are you guys doing here? I thought you were out for the day?"
"I live here. And what exactly is he doing here?"
"Ron can I speak with you in the kitchen?"
"No you can not 'speak to me in the kitchen'! You'll speak to me right here!"
"I really think the kitchen would be better."
"I want answers and I want them now Hermione," he says fiercely
"Fine," I sigh. "You see, Blaise and me…I'm…we…"
"Spit out out Hermione!" He screams.
"Don't yell at her you stupid Weasel! She's trying!" Blaise defends me.
"I didn't ask for your input Zabini!"
"Yes you asked for hers. Now stop arguing with me and let her say what she's trying to say."
"I love you Ron; I just can't be with you," I say quietly. I did not want to tell him this in front of a group of people.
"What do you mean you can't be with me? If you love me you can be with me!"
"I just can't Ron. I'm…I'm going back to Blaise."
Everything happened fairly quickly after that. Ron had Blaise pinned to a wall. Ginny rushed to Harry so he wouldn't get involved. Astoria had her wand pulled and aimed at Ron. And Blaise, though pinned to the wall, wasn't even trying to fight. He just stood there with a small smile on his face. I know I made the right decision in that moment. Blaise hadn't attacked Ron when I left him. Blaise didn't provoke him when I returned to him. And Blaise isn't fighting back now. I know if he wanted to that he could mess Ron up severely. He just knows it will make me angry with him so he's not doing it.
"It'd do you good to release him you Weasel," Astoria says nastily. She quickly turns to Ginny. "No offense Gin."
"None taken. He's being a prat."
"I'm being a prat! How can you say that? You're my sister! You're supposed to be on my side!"
"Sorry Ron. I may be your sister, but Mione's my best friend. She's just not happy enough with you. I encouraged her to return to Blaise," she says calmly.
"You what!"
Ron releases his hold on Blaise and turns to stalk towards Ginny. He doesn't get more then three steps before Blaise has a hold of his collar.
"Let go Zabini!" he growls.
"You're stalking towards your sister in anger and you want me to let you go? Let me get right on that," he says sarcastically, making me laugh despite myself.
"I'm not going to hit my sister," he grounds out.
"She'd surely hit you for angering her though. I'm really doing you a favor." Ginny grins like a madman as if to say that's exactly what she planned to do.
"I'm sorry Ron. I made my choice," I say before anymore arguing can take place.
"Don't do this Mione. We're supposed to get married. You said you'd marry me," he starts to plead.
"I'm sorry Ron."
"This is all your fault Zabini! You'll be sorry!"
"Your right Weasely, it is my fault. I won't ever be sorry though."
"I'll make sure you are," Ron threatens.
"You can try, but as long as she's with me I'll never be sorry. And only she can decide to leave, but I don't think she plans to," he grins. "Astoria, Ginny, why don't you help Hermione pack her things up so she can finally come home."
I like the sound of that. I'm finally going home. I can have my dream wedding. I can have it all now. I can have the endless adventure, romance, passion and spontaneity. I can have my forever, and I can have it with Blaise.
A/N: Let me know what you think.