Summery: Paine has strong feelings for Rikku but will they ever be returned? A RiPa love story. Paine X Rikku Shoujoai FFX-3
(Authors Note: Don't ya just hate these? Ok I realize there are tons of RiPa stories out there that are WAY better than mine but this is RiPa Shaydee style. It's my first attempt at a totally RiPa story so go easy on me pretty please. (with strawberry and whipped cream on top!) I'm reasonably new to the Fanfic scene. Originally I was going to write this as an alternate ending to my fiction 'Love is a Battlefield' but I decided to make it a story in its own right instead. However, it's a spin off from the original so if you want a bit of background you can find it in 'Love is a Battlefield' up to chapter 8 and most especially the chapter titled "a gil for your thoughts". Visit my profile to find it.)
Thoughts are in italics, Al Bhed translations in brackets
WARNING: This fiction is unashamedly a Rikku X Paine love story so if you're not into girls with girls don't bother reading this! Will it be a lemon? I have no idea at this early stage. Skies the limit!
Disclaimer: I DO own Final Fantasy X-2. Heck I paid $49.95 for it at the Video store and it's mine! I do not, however, own the rights to the characters or the game. Those belong to Squaresoft. This is purely a just for fun non profit fan fiction based on the original. It's my version :end of disclaimer
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Paine's Battle
Chapter One
"Rikku…" Paine called after the blonde blur that just raced past her. Rikku had quickly fled past the dining area and made for the stairs to the bed room. Paine had deliberately retreated away from the crowded bridge on the Celsius to take a quiet moment sipping a nice strong alcoholic drink. She'd helped herself to a 'Blue Heaven' since Barkeep wasn't there. No telling where that good-for-nothing hypello had nicked off to. Paine had hoped that the dizziness of the drink would help her drown out the fact they had nearly lost Rikku. Heck she could have died on that mission and as hard as it was for Paine to admit it; she'd be down right scared. She took a deep breath and stirred the blue liquid with her straw. Paine should never have agreed to let Rikku go alone to steal that sphere. Damn Gippal. He'd talked her into it!
Paine felt guilty, responsible and stupid. All the things she wasn't allowed to feel. She'd forbidden those emotions yet there they were lingering and tormenting her; along with another powerful emotion that completely conflicted with everything she had trained herself not to feel. Love; that ever elusive feeling.
Crap Paine thought to herself. How'd I let this happen? She glanced up at the blonde Al Bhed girl who was now half way up the stairs. "Rikku…" she said again but this time louder and with a bit more authority.
Oh bummer thought Rikku in despair as she froze between steps. There's just no sneaking past her… she chewed on her nails thoughtfully.
"Not now Paine, I'm really tired" Rikku said trying not to make eye contact with her silver haired friend. That girl could read her like a book. It was no good hiding anything from Paine. Nope. She was far better off retreating to bed and hiding under the covers. Besides, Paine was probably going to tell her off for failing the mission. Sigh. Rikku was well aware that she'd come back sphere-less
"Tired my ass" said Paine as she got up and followed her up the stairs. She grabbed one of Rikku's wrists and prevented her from going any further. "You're upset" Paine acknowledged with a raised eye brow.
"I'm not upset!" said Rikku, sounding really upset.
"Then why's your voice quavering like that?" asked Paine giving her a knowing look.
"Because… because… " Rikku stammered nervously she couldn't think of a single reasonable excuse. "I'm upset! Now lemme alone I need to think"
"Fine" said Paine releasing the Al Bhed girl "You wanna be alone well I'm all for that. No skin off my nose." Paine turned her back on Rikku and headed back down stairs.
"Paine wait…" Rikku called after her. Paine gave a little satisfied snort as she turned around. It worked every time. Rikku was so predictable.
"Maybe I could… you know, use some advice" Rikku admitted. She was secretly thankful that someone had cared enough to ask her what was wrong. Oh sure she'd almost died and everyone had been pleased to see her back in one piece. She herself was glad to be in one piece but she also felt totally embarrassed that she'd allowed things to go so wrong in the first place. Some sphere hunter she was. With the current dilemma on her mind Rikku could use a listening ear. Paine was good for that. She listened. She hardly ever said anything, never shared her inner feelings, didn't interrupt, gave very little input into the conversation but she was a great listener!
"Take a seat" Rikku said as climbed the rest of the way up the stairs and sunk down on the nearest bed. Paine sat on the one directly opposite and waited.
Silence.
"Thanks for caring" Rikku said finally as she fidgeted with her scarf nervously. "That is … well if you do care which I'm not sure of cuz it's sure hard to tell with you and anyway, maybe you're just worried that if you don't straighten me out I'll just fumble the next mission, waste heaps of gil, cause more of a fuss and put everyone out all over again…" Rikku curled her lips into a cute little pout. She new she was talking way too fast and babbling about pretty much nothing but she was nervous. Paine always made her nervous. She wasn't one hundred percent sure why but she suspected it was the way Paine seemed to be able to get right inside her head and read her every little thought while she failed to decipher a single thing about Paine.
"Get a grip Rikku, slow down" Paine said reaching out and giving Rikku a little shake. "If I didn't care I wouldn't have asked."
"You're mad aren't you?" Rikku asked as she bit her bottom lip. Paine sure sounded mad, but once again it was hard to tell. She always sounded slightly pissed.
"I'm not mad" Paine confirmed sounding quite matter-of-fact.
"Yes you are" Rikku accused.
"Stop putting words in my mouth I'm not mad" Paine replied raising her voice a little and sounding mildly irritated.
"You sound mad" Rikku affirmed, and it was true.
"Well hell yeah I'm getting madder by the minute because you're accusing me of being mad when I wasn't in the first place." Paine's voice had come out a louder and harsher than she had meant it to. Damn it. She thought as she ran her hands through silvery locks; a look of pure frustration crossing her face.
An uncomfortable silence followed…
Paine studied the Al Bhed girl's expression for a moment. Her eyes wandered down over the clothes that Rikku was almost wearing. I mean what the heck? Why wear a scarf when you're practically in a bikini elsewhere. Couldn't she make up her mind if it was winter on Mount Gagazet or summer at Besaid beach? Not that Paine minded so much. It was just that she felt she had to avert her eyes every time she looked at Rikku. She cleared her throat.
"So" said Paine, breaking the silence as she attempted to distract herself from Rikku's alluring curves. "What's eating you?"
"Gippal asked me to marry him" Rikku confessed with out meeting Paine's eyes. She heaved a heavy sigh.
Paine felt her heart go thunk! Talk about dropping the bomb shell. She shouldn't have felt surprised. Rikku was a very attractive girl and it was bound to happen eventually. I suppose Paine had let herself believe that Rikku would never settle down with a guy and that they could continue their weird partnership as sphere hunters for eternity with out any interference from a man. They'd been a team of three until Yuna had left to marry Tidus. Since then it had been a comfortable relationship between two girls who shared the same passions. Sphere hunting and adventure. They'd gotten closer as friends since the transformation from YRP to RP. Being constantly faced with danger did have a way of bonding you; especially since you had to rely so heavily on each other for phoenix downs when you faltered in battle and X- potions right in the nic of time.
As usual, it had all been too good to be true. It had to come to an end like any good thing in Paine's life. Cred she thought using the Al Bhed word for shit. Why'd I let myself start feeling something for this girl? Deep feelings were a very dangerous and an extremely volatile thing.She'd hidden her feelings well. She was an expert at that.
Of course Rikku knew nothing about the fact that Paine had started to fall in love with her. It was hard not to love her. After all, Rikku represented everything that Paine was not. She had all the energy, vibrancy and joy that Paine had never allowed herself to experience. Somehow, being around Rikku had made Paine realize that life was just a little bit more worth living. Rikku could light up a room with a single smile, lift your spirits with one little giggle and heighten your mood with some childish expression that anyone else just couldn't get away with saying. No wonder Paine had been scared. To lose Rikku would have meant losing the one person who had broken through her impenetrable outer shell and allowed her to feel again. Illegal feelings yeah, but they were still there. Pulling at her; dragging at her insides and making her yearn and long for something deeper. Paine shook her head. She knew it could never be.
"Do you love him?" Paine asked. Ok that was a bit blunt but subtlety was not her specialty. She was about as subtle as a large sledge hammer.
"He's familiar" Rikku answered. "I mean, we've known each for like… well, forEVer. We practically grew up together you know?"
"That didn't answer my question" Paine pointed out. "Do you love him?" she asked again as she shifted to adjust her oversized sword into a more comfortable position. Always better to be with it than with out it.
"I'm comfortable with him and surely that can grow" reasoned Rikku with a tantalizing little whine in her voice.
"Well for someone who is so comfortable with the idea you sure look upset" Paine said getting back to the heart of the matter.
"Look… I don't know if I 'love him' love him but… I like being around him. He's a good friend, lots of fun, a totally steadfast person and all that but am I head over heels in lurve with him? Well probably not!" Rikku admitted in an escalating flurry of words.
"So… you've told him no" Paine said simply as she folded her arms across her chest. It was a statement not a question.
"Well not exactly" replied Rikku looking a bit guilty as she bit her lip thoughtfully.
"So you said yes?" Paine asked. Yep, still very direct. Break out the sledge hammer and everyone stand back.
"Well not yet" Rikku admitted. "I told him I needed time to think."
"Time to think?" Paine said incredulously. "Why would you even consider marrying a man you don't even love? Aren't you the one who told me that long winded boring tale of how upset you were that Yuna even considered marrying Seymour much less went through with it?"
"Don't be such a silly billy, that was different" said Rikku defensively. She was secretly surprised that Paine even remembered that conversation. She was sure Paine hadn't bothered to listen at all. "Yunie felt nothing for Seymour," Rikku continued. "I at least like Gippal, even if I don't 'like him' like him." Paine looked at her sceptically as she rolled her eyes.
"Come on! It will be fun." Rikku expressed cheerfully as she bounced up and down on the bed. "I mean I get to wear a fancy dress and lots of jewellery. Think of the wild party afterwards." She gave Paine a cheeky grin and a bit of a nudge before continuing in a more serious tone. "Besides, it would be good for the Al Bhed as a race. I mean he's the leader of the Machina Faction and I'm the daughter of Cid. It would sort of… bring our people back together. Give them hope, you know? Set things in motion for us to re build and so on and so forth."
"Oh I see" said Paine sarcastically. "So for political reasons you'd settle for mild contentment with someone you're just comfortable with but don't truly love"
"Look why does it matter to you so much anyway? You've never worried about me before" Rikku protested. This conversation was getting a bit unnerving. Paine was suppose to be the good listener… you know, the one who just sat there and allowed her to rattle on and on for endless hours about nothing with out ever giving any advice, input or even so much as a reaction. Rikku was beginning to wonder who had stolen the real Paine and replaced it with this one.
"The hell I haven't" Paine said kind of offended. "I worry about you non stop you're always blundering into mischief" she sounded pissed again. Typical!
"Blundering?" Rikku gasped. Now it was her turn to feel offended. "That's not fair. Don't be such a big meanie!" Ok so they were arguing over meaningless petty issues again but at least this was familiar territory. At least she was acting like the Paine Rikku knew and... well... yeah... knew!
"Telrr ud Rikku!" (Damn it Rikku!) Paine said, slipping into Rikku's native language in an exasperated tone. She stood up quickly and faced away from the Al Bhed girl gazing out the window at the night sky.
"Of course I care you almost died" she told the window. Heck it was far easier to express her emotions to the window than it was to a living breathing girl whose emerald green eyes melted you inside. "Everyone was so scared" Paine continued with a little quaver in her voice. She was usually a lot better at hiding it than that… but the tension had built up far too long. "I was scared" She admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
Rikku sat there for a moment in shock. She slowly stood up and walked beside Paine gazing at her in wonder as she digested those unexpected words. Rikku reached out one hand and rested it on Paine's shoulder gazing soulfully at her. "I didn't think you were scared of anything…" she said in awe.
"Oh I get scared…" Paine admitted, glancing sideways at Rikku briefly but not allowing herself to make eye contact. The window was still far easier to talk to. "I just refuse to let it show, it's… weakness… it just… gives other people the upper hand." Rikku wondered if she was included in 'other people'. She certainly didn't feel like she had the upper hand. She felt… vulnerable.
This was a new experience to Rikku. She wasn't use to having Paine bear her heart and soul while she admiting that there was any kind of weakness in her. Rikku wasn't sure what had changed. Why today? Rikku pondered. Why had Paine felt comfortable bearing her inner feelings to her of all people? It was kind of nice though. It showed how they had grown as friends. It demonstrated that trust had bridged the wide chasm between them.
"I promise I won't tell anyone" Rikku said quietly with a little smile on her face. "I care about you too, you know" she nudged Paine playfully in the ribs hoping to lighten the mood. Seriousness wasn't Rikku's forté.
Paine suddenly turned and grabbed her. Rikku wondered if she was ever going to be allowed to breathe again as she was caught up in the crushing hug. Hey where'd that come from? Rikku thought breathlessly. Usually it was her instigating the hugs as Paine either pushed her away or stood there stiff and uncomfortable. This was all new but it felt kind of nice. Since Yunie had left Rikku couldn't help but feel a bit lonely. She hadn't been sure that Paine even liked her much less cared enough to worry about her. It was a reassuring hug and a relief. She had no trouble hugging her back. Hugs were her forté.
"I care more than you know" Paine admitted with a little break in her voice. Huh? Was that a break in her voice. Thought Rikku. Nah… Paine's voice never broke. She was steadfast and tough. She never got upset, she never showed any emotion. Right?
Paine held Rikku tight. Ok, she'd admitted that she had been scared. That in itself was a bit scary. Yet she felt she could trust Rikku with this information. She didn't want to take the chance of potentially losing her again with out ever telling her how she really felt. It was a risk, a huge one. It may well change everything. It could destroy what little there was between them. It might push Rikku so far away they wouldn't even be able to stay friends. Should she risk it? If she didn't… maybe Rikku would marry Gippal, move far away and the words may never get said. Maybe she would die tomorrow and Paine's true feelings would never have been expressed. Perhaps it was better to risk rejection than to let the chance go by. Rejection was familiar at least. She'd lived with it her whole life. One thing had been very obvious to Paine since Rikku had disappeared during the mission. If she didn't say how she felt, she may well miss the opportunity, and it was never wise to let a chance slip through your fingers.
Com'on Paine she urged herself inwardly. Either say it or don't say it. Get it over with already. "I…" Paine said quietly. Dammit, dammit, if these words don't come out I'm going to explode, she chastised herself quietly. "I love you" she finally managed to say.
Rikku pushed back out of the hug to check Paine's expression. Was she teasing her? Trying to get a rise out of her? Tricking her into saying something really stupid so she could snicker at her? Two sparkling emerald green eyes met with deep mysterious crimson ones as the two girls stared at each other.
Silence.
"uH-Honest?" Rikku asked, her eyes widening. Had she heard right? Had Paine said that or did she need her hearing checked. Maybe her brush with death had driven her over the edge of insanity or something. I must be losing it Rikku thought. Yet, the look in Paine's eyes confirmed she'd said something along the lines of 'I love you' or was it 'I'm above you?' or 'I'll shove you?' Paine looked kind of uncomfortable. Her cheeks look flushed but Rikku wasn't sure if it was a blush or just the usual heat of frustration. Paine slowly averted her eyes almost shyly and nodded her head. Yup, she'd said it.
"Wow Paine" Rikku said in surprise "That's so… sweet" Rikku gave Paine a little reassuring smile it truly had touched her heart to hear those words coming from Paine. After all, she had always figured that Paine just put up with her… found her annoying, too bubbly, too happy and too energetic. Rikku gave a little squeal and bounced up to give Paine a quick kiss on the cheek. "That means a lot to me. I love you too" she said all giggly. "You're my bestest friend!" Rikku threw her arms around Paine's neck excitedly.
Paine just shut her eyes and took in a crest fallen breath. For a brief moment… there had been light at the end of the tunnel.
"Yeah" Paine said sadly. "I know." Of course it was too much to ask for. Rikku would never want her; could never think of her that way. Sure, Rikku loved her but she would never 'love her' love her. Oh well, if she had to settle for bestest friend it was better than the slap across the face she'd expected to receive at her confession. Even if Rikku didn't understand how deep and powerful that love went, at least it had been said.
Rikku grabbed Paine by the arm and cheerfully said, "Com'on Painey. Lets see what my stupid brother is up to on the bridge" and with that she dragged Paine with her towards the elevator.
Bestest friend? Paine sighed deeply.
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(Authors Note: Ok that's it! Please R&R. Is this worth pursuing or is it just more drivel to add to my collection of mediocre fics? If you don't like leaving public reviews I'm happy to receive PM's.)