Gravity
A.N.: Angst bug bit me. Blame Sara Bareilles. Gravity is by far one of the angst-iest songs I've ever come across.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, or Sarah, or Sara. SPOILERY FOR SEASON 3.
Chuck looked in the mirror, twisting his head and naked torso in the light. Dark circles under his eyes, burgeoning bruises -- the person reflected was unfamiliar, the examination an out of body experience. How the hell did I get here? It feels like just a minute ago, I was free...
"Chuck?" her soft voice floated through the closed door. "Are...is everything all right?"
He closed his eyes against the wave of pain that washed through him at the sound. Wasn't this what I wanted? "Yeah...I'm fine, sorry. I'll be out in a minute." He sighed, raked his hands down his face. This is what I chose. This is what keeps everyone safe. He turned on the faucet, letting the water run cold. This is what I have to do. He splashed his face, tried on a smile. He tugged the white t-shirt back over his head, wincing slightly as he concealed the black and blues once more. He opened the door and turned out the light, climbing back into the bed beside her.
"Chuck?" she murmured sleepily. "Honey, are you okay?" She snuggled closer to his left side, finding the nook between his neck and shoulder and settling in. "You were in the bathroom an awfully long time."
He looked down with a smile that barely reached his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hannah, I guess I'm just moving in slow motion tonight." He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. I'm sorry, Sarah. "Must be trying to keep up with you all day," he joked, reaching out to turn off the light.
I'm sorry, Sarah. He sent the thought out into the night, as he did every night since this started. I hate this. I'm so sorry, I never understood how the choices you make for the job, the things you do to protect people who never even know it, could tear you apart. He clenched his right fist tightly in impotent frustration, made worse by the fact he was carefully containing it so Hannah wouldn't feel it. How many times did you get the order not to tell me the truth and went along with it? How many times, before you told me to run, should you have told me to go? And how the hell do I explain this to – He snorted soundlessly into the darkness. Why do I get the feeling that telling you I've been sleeping with someone for the job is going to be the easiest part of all this?
He pressed a kiss to the top of the head on his shoulder, wishing desperately for blond hair instead of brown.
A.N.: So, my take on what could possibly have Chuck kissing another woman in S3.I know, I'm the Charah delinquent -- I haven't posted nor reviewed. :( I am so sorry, but Gleedom is competing, and there are only so many hours in the day. Writing fight scenes is so much more difficult than writing songfic! LOL. Working on it, I promise!