a/n: Inspired by tumblr user let-it-be-extraordinary, who turned to me on New Years Eve and said "You know that episode of Parks and Rec where April gets mad at Andy because when she says I love you he doesn't say it back? That's totally how it goes with Hermann and Newt." and then we proceeded to plan out this fic on the way home from watching the fireworks. The real tragedy is that I didn't manage to get anyone on an out of order ferris wheel for any part of this fic. So, inspired by Parks and Rec 2x07, "Harvest Festival". (zero knowledge needed, it bears a passing resemblance to a single B plot scene.)

Saying 'I love you' first was a risk. Between the two of them, Hermann was not the one to take risks. So he'd waited - Newt would say it, he was sure, and then he would say "I love you too," and then the element of risk would disappear, would be neutralised like Kaiju Blue.

Newt did not say it.

Hermann never got any indication that Newt didn't love him - he did all the things Hermann understood was appropriate for someone to do when they were in love. But the actual words, Hermann felt, were important. The world was ending at an exponentially faster rate every day, according to his calculations, so there was no time to waste. He was willing to take the risk himself, though not without adequate preparation - he weighed the risks and rewards, he researched job openings (though he hoped he would not have to quit, even if this did not turn out as planned), he considered the best time to do it. He had everything planned out to minimise the uncertainty of the outcome, so when he said it, he was almost confident nothing would go wrong.

"I love you," he said to Newton when they were alone in his room, with no previous remark that could cause the confusion that he was using it as a throwaway expression. Newt grinned, his entire face lighting up in the way it did when he made a new discovery or when he successfully guessed some detail about Hermann's life, and Hermann was confident in what he would say next.

"Cool! High five," Newt said, holding up his hand.

This...was not how it was meant to go.

Hermann felt frozen for a moment. This was not an outcome he had prepared for - all the negative outcomes had been varying levels of disapproval, denial or disgust. Newt did not look disgusted or disapproving, but happy - almost…proud.

After staring for a moment, Hermann gathered himself together and excused himself with a "I must work on something in the lab, excuse me," not glancing back at Newt as he left the room.

Everyone assumed it would blow over, just as all the K Science disputes blew over. It was never an overly functional work environment, but it was the end of the world, everyone had to work with what they've got. The problem was that there was usually a limit to how long a K Science dispute would be so raw and volatile that it was impossible for the two doctors to be in the same room. That time had elapsed and there was no sign of things improving.

"Dr Gottlieb," Stacker Pentecost said, nodding at the doctor and indicating he should sit. "I understand you and Dr Geiszler have professional disagreements, but they do not interrupt work for significant periods of time. The PPDC has tolerated these interruptions in light of the work you produce, but time is running short with the projected sunset of the Jaeger program. What is the nature of the disagreement?"

Hermann wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't very well lie to the Marshall and say there was nothing. "It's nothing that needs your concern, sir, just a personal disagreement," he said, hoping that would be enough. His hands itched to get back to his blackboard, even though he hadn't worked at his normal pace since the failed 'I love you'; if he was being more honest, he just itched to get out of the room and away from the piercing gaze of Stacker Pentecost.

"If it is impairing the entire K Science division, it does require my concern," the Marshall countered. " You have been having personal disagreements every day for ten years. None of them have been this detrimental to your productivity. What is the nature of the disagreement?"

Hermann opened his mouth to disagree, to brush him off again, to promise he would sort it out without his assistance. And then he saw the expression on the Marshall's face.

He told him.

"I didn't do it."

Newt didn't know why he had been called into Pentecost's office, but he figured it was good to start on the defensive. "I wasn't there at the time."

"Didn't do what?" Pentecost asked, as if Newt was going to incriminate himself. Ha! He knew better than that, he had been doing mildly illegal things with lab equipment since he was ten.

"Nothing, uh, sir, what did you want me for?"

"I understand that you and Dr Gottlieb have had a disagreement that is adversely affecting progress."

"Uh."

"I have already met with Dr Gottlieb about it, and he has indicated that you are at fault."

"I didn't do it, I swear."

"That does seem to be the problem, yes."

"What?" That was not the response Newt had expected. He very rarely got in trouble for things he hadn't done, unless it was filing reports. He frequently got in trouble for not doing those.

"Dr Gottlieb informed me that the cause of the recent disruptions to K Science is that you did not say 'I love you' in return when he said it."

"Yes I did." Newt was sure he did.

"Dr Gottlieb assured me you did not. I suggest you fix this, Dr Geiszler, or you will never see another kaiju specimen."

"What? You can't just take away my kai-"

"I can, Dr Geiszler, and I will. Fix this."

Well, if that wasn't a dismissal, Newt would eat a kaiju skin louse.

"So, um, Stacker called me into his office."

"What did the Marshall want, Dr Geiszler?" Hermann said, as if they hadn't worked together for ten years and also swapped spit on the regular for almost two months. Well, they had until Hermann had started avoiding him - which he supposed had to do with what Pentecost had said.

"Well, he said that you were avoiding me because I didn't say I love you back and it was disrupting scientific progress? And that I needed to fix it?"

Newt tried to see Hermann's face but his back was turned, the equations in chalk continuing as if he hadn't spoken.

"I think it was really cool you finally said it! And I did totally say it back."

Finally, Hermann stopped writing. He climbed down his ladder (slower than normal, Newt thought) and turned to face him. "You did not, Dr Geiszler. Your exact response was, 'Cool, high five'."

Newt winced. That...ok, that might have happened. Maybe.

"Yeah, but I was just excited you said it! But I mean, I've said it before! Heaps!"

"You have not."

"Ye- really?" Newt frowned, sure he had, but also knowing that honestly, between the two of them Hermann had far more reliable recall of personal interactions.

"Really. Will that be all?" He made to turn back to the blackboard, but Newt lunged forward, grabbing the sleeve of his blazer.

"No, I mean - I love you, Hermann."

There was a beat. Newt was pretty sure he had fixed things. Probably? He would get to see kaiju specimens again.

"Cool. High five," Hermann said in a deadpan tone, before turning and leaving the room.

He got all the way out the door before Newt managed to unfreeze, his brain kicking into gear as he realised what had just happened. He had fucked up. He had fucked up so bad. His life was over. His job was over, and that meant his life was over. Also Hermann would never speak to him again.

He ran after him - it didn't take long to catch up, as even though Hermann was doing his best to make a very dignified and quick exit, those two were mutually exclusive with his cane. "Hermann, wait, wait, Herms, does this mean – like, I mean, you're totally within your right to decide you don't love me, but I mean, Stacker said if I didn't fix this he would never give me another kaiju specimen and I think he said he'd fire me and I don't even know where I'd get another job with kaiju—"

Before he could run out of frantic things to say, Hermann sighed heavily and turned around, making sure Newt saw him roll his eyes before putting a hand on his shoulder and kissing him in the corridor.

"You're absolutely hopeless," he said, shaking his head.

"You love me for it," Newt said on automatic, before realising that was Exactly the Wrong Thing to Say.

"I do. God knows why."