Love Notes
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the laptop that this ficlet was written on.
A friend and I were talking tonight and they encouraged me to write again. I asked where to start and they gave me a prompt. Now I'm gonna veer off from said prompt, however I have decided to post it here, so you can see where I stemmed from:
"He thinks he missed it, no he knows he missed it. The movers had been in the day before to take everything away and he was sure nothing remained. But as he steps back through the door to the loft for the last time he catches a flash of white poking out from beneath the empty bookshelves. Maybe it was always there. Maybe she had left it there for him to find one day. Or maybe it was dislodged during the packing. He grabs the corner and unfolds it to reveal her distinctive handwriting. He can tell she wrote it in a hurry as it lacks the usual curves and embellishments her other letters to him hold. It's the "always" scrawls across the bottom that draws his eyes. The letters are indented into the paper as if the weight of her thoughts were too heavy for this single word to bear." I hope you enjoy. This is my first Castle fic, so bear with me.
It turns out her letters to him started way before they got together, he sees the date in the corner, January 2011. He tries to think back, what were they doing in January 2011. Was that when they took down Lockwood? He almost folds the letter back up, but then he thinks they've been married for 10 years now, so do they really have any more secrets. What would the harm be in reading words that were obviously for him at the time? He then sits on the floor, cross legged, since every bit of furniture is now gone, packed into a moving van making it's way to the Hamptons. They had decided a few years ago when their last child was born that they no longer wanted to live in the city. Amelia is now almost 5, Kate has quit the force after one to many close calls, deciding she wants to have more time with her family. So here he was, their last day in the loft, all their belonging packed away, and him alone on the floor of his office. Kate and Amelia were staying in the Hamptons, getting the place ready to live in. He is just here to check on the final pieces and make sure everything had gotten moved. He was sitting on the floor with the letter in his lap, wondering if he should read it. Did she leave it here on purpose? Or did it fall out of one of her boxes? He could almost swear he'd never seen this particular letter before, and he would know, he had kept all the letters and doodles she'd given him over the years. He contemplates only for a moment more before he fully invests himself into reading her words:
Castle - January 24 2011
I sit here alone in my apartment, Josh has just left for his shift at the hospital and I'm writing you. I'm sitting here thinking about that kiss, making me question everything up to this point. Last summer you went away to the Hamptons with Gina, just as I was about to say I'd go with you. It broke me for so long. I don't know why. I felt like we were just about to jump into something amazing, and then you got back together with your ex wife. I figured it was over. I'm even trying to make Josh the one, all while thinking about what you and I might have had. I guess I wanted you to know. But then think what good will it all do. I'm still with Josh. But should I be? Am I just scared because of last summer? Am I just waiting behind my wall for you to crash through? I mean every word we say to each other has underlying meaning. Perfect strangers have come up to me and told me they see it. So what am I waiting for? You say "always" and I know you mean it.
It was there that the letter stopped. Castle turns it over in his hands, looking for more, but there is no more to be found. It was as if she had been interrupted and never gotten back to it. He is a bit shocked. He never knew that she was going to say yes to his invitation to the Hamptons. It seemed as if this letter was never meant for him to see, probably had fallen out of one of her notebooks when they were moving. He now felt wrong for reading it. He takes the letter and neatly folds it back up, now not sure what to do with it. He stuffs it into his back pocket and makes his last looks around the apartment. Castle satisfied that nothing else has been left. He walks to the front door, opens it and sighs. Gives the loft, his home for so many years, one more look and then walks into the hallway and closes the door. Takes the key from his shirt pocket and locks it. He will have to take the key to the real estate agent in the morning. Hopefully the next family will have as good of a life as he had. Lots of love, laughter and laser tag.
Castle arrives home, it's weird to call the Hamptons home but he knows he will learn to love this place just as much in time. His two girls greet him. Kate gives him a kiss as Amelia goes in for a hug to his legs. He picks Amelia up and carries her inside. Castle follows Kate to the kitchen with Amelia in tow. Kate has been cooking, Castle smelled the marinara sauce as soon as he came in the door. His girls must be hungry, he sets Amelia down at the kitchen table and goes to the stove where Kate is standing. "Smells good." "Thanks, babe" She scoops up a bit of marinara on the spoon and lifts it to his chin. He tastes it. "Perfect, let's eat." She smiles, stirs the noodles as he goes to the cabinets and pulls out three plates. Kate prepares the dishes and takes them to the table. Castle gets a bib for Amelia and snaps it around her neck and then sits down beside her. "It looks delicious, mommy" "Thanks, baby." Castle smiles at his two girls. Amelia has been learning so many big words lately, he thinks it's because Kate and he have never talked baby talk to the young girl. She's always been curious as well and asks when she doesn't know a word. Their baby is going to be very smart. They all eat in relative silence, not awkward, just a comfortable silence of three hungry people eating a wonderful dinner together.
After dinner is through Kate unsnaps Amelia's bib and tells her to go play. She takes off running to her small tent in the corner of the living room that Castle had set up for her a few nights before. Kate then begins to clear the table, however Castle stops her. "Can we talk?" Kate sits back down. "Of course" Castle seems to fidget in his seat and Kate picks up that he is anxious. "Castle…?" He then looks up at her, she takes his hands. "What is it?" Castle kisses her palm, then reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the letter. He hands it to her. "What is this?" "Something I found while checking the loft one last time." She opens the letter and scans it. Immediately her hand goes over her face in embarrassment. "Oh god, you were never supposed to see this!" Castle looks down at his shoes. "I'm sorry." Kate then looks at Castle, she can tell he feels guilty. "Oh, Castle, it's okay. I mean, at the time…" She trails off. "You know what, it doesn't matter now." She takes his hands again. "Look at me" Castle slowly looks up from his shoes right into her eyes. "No secrets. Now you really do know everything." "So it's true…you were gonna say yes? You wanted to come here that summer?" "Yes. I even broke up with Demming." Castle looks shocked. "You did? And then stupid me, I go and bring my ex wife to the precinct. You must have hated me." "I didn't hate you, Castle, I think actually I may have been in love with you. Made it pretty damn hard to hate you." Castle shifts closer to Kate. "We could have had more time?" Kate smiles. "Maybe, but maybe we would have crashed and burned. Who really knows. And well I kind of like our story." Castle kisses her then, a soft but passionate kiss. "I kind of LOVE our story." Kate smiles and they both look over at the tent where Amelia was playing, she's now curled up with her favorite bear, Cubsy, fast asleep. "It doesn't matter what happened in the past. We got there eventually. We made it. I love you. And I love our life together." "Me too."
Thanks for reading.
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BTW I am spoiler free, so please don't leave spoilers on the current season in my comments. It'll just make me sad. Thank you :)
This is my first Castle fic, so sorry if it seems a little OOC. I was just told to start writing and this is what came out of it. I hope to write more later, not sure if for this fic or if I'll just start something completely new. Only time will tell. Until then.
xxLP