I do not own any of the characters that happen to appear in this random vision.
Potatoes
"THE POTATOES ARE EVIL! THEY ALL MUST DIE!!!!"
I bet you're probably wondering how Kiba came to be so deranged as to say that. Yes, it was Kiba… Anyway, I, Hige, am here to make that clear to you. It all started a couple hours ago…
"Hey, Kiba, what's up?" I asked this morning.
"Nothing much. Hey, did you get that special fertilizer for Cheza? You know how much she loves it."
"It can only be found in the Sahara Desert, Kiba."
"But she likes it. So she gets it."
"You've gone crazy, you know that?"
"Yes." insert eye twitch here
"Um, ok, I'm going now!"
"AND TELL TOBOE TO GET THE SPRING WATER FROM THE HIMALAYAS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!"
As you can see, by this time Kiba needed a few medications, but that wasn't the end of it…oh no.
I came back only to find that a whole oasis had sprung up in the middle of the wasteland we were camping in.
"Don't you think that they'll find us here if all this is so…um…big?"
"No, they won't! They won't even suspect-"
"Kiba, this one needs some potatoes, too."
"But, Cheza, my sweet, isn't this everything you ever dreamed of having?"
"No. This one needs potatoes," she said, fingering the fur coat she was wearing.
"Um, Kiba where'd you get the-"I started to ask before a shivering Toboe walked in.
"Anything else, Kiba?" he asked, teeth chattering.
"OK, KIBA! THAT'S ENOUGH!" yelled Tsume, putting down a bunch of freshly picked potatoes.
"No," Kiba answered, eyes glittering, mouth foaming, "It's not!"
Cheza picked a potato and run into a tent made out of island palm trees.
Kiba tried to follow her, but she refused to have him.
"This one must be alone now," she said, closing the flap.
Kiba ordered us around all day. We didn't even get a thing to eat!
Finally I confronted him.
"Kiba, we're tried and we're hungry-hey! Wait…" I looked around, "Where's Cheza?"
Kiba pointed over his shoulder. With a sigh he explained that she'd been in there for over an hour.
"Well I'm gonna go check out what she's doing!" I said, bravely.
I walked over to the tent and peeked inside to find-
WARNING: NOT FOR LITTLE CHILEREN UNDER 4 MONTHS.
THANK YOU.
I mean it.
I do.
really.
ok…here it is!
CHEZA SITTING ON A BLANKET HUGGING AND KISSING A POTATO!
I gagged, and sat on the ground. I dropped the flap and gagged some more. Then I gagged again. and again.
Kiba came up behind my withering body and peeked inside only to scream his head off and run in little circles yelling, "SHE SOLD ME OUT FOR A POTATO!" hence the potatoes must die issues before.
Toboe's shivering form suddenly appeared behind me with Tsume, who was muttering over and over that he had to see this.
They both looked and ended up on the ground with me, staring up at the sky, laughing their heads off.
Only I was sitting there…oh wait. Yeah, I was laughing. 'Cause we were watching Kiba and Cheza's real relationship suddenly unfold.
Cheza was standing there cradling her potato trying to explain to a hysterical Kiba that potatoes had much more to offer than a wolf…
Eventually we calmed Kiba down and told him to get a grip. Of coarse, he did not, and we all died!
The End!!!!!
No really.
WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?!
IT'S DONE!
GOOD BYE!
oh fine!
sound of door slamming and mutters