Title: The Last Distance
Author: sparkle*
Summary: Takes place during Nothing Important Happened Today II…Scully POV, angst-ish
R&R please!!!!! it's my first XF fic tho…
Spoilers: NIHT, Memento Mori, nothing too important
Disclaimer: All belongs to 1013 and CC…
The Last Distance
"And though we have traveled far together,
this last distance must necessarily be traveled
alone."
I remember writing those words…so many years ago....I thought I would be the one leaving, I never thought I'd be the one left behind.
A few days ago I came across that journal again. I'd meant to throw it away, but I ended up burying it in a drawer. I started rereading it, and I almost came to tears. I can't believe that you left me. I understand and I don't hold it against you…but I never thought I would be the one left behind.
Doggett has to fill your space now, although he is nothing like you, I think he becomes more like you every day. He keeps coming over to ask me where you are. I told him to leave and not come back. I can't answer his questions, and if he keeps coming back, I know one time I will break down, and I can't do that in front of him. Nothing to cause more concern.
All I ask for is a normal life. If that meant losing you I never would have wanted it. I never truly realized what kind of strange undefined dependence we had on each other until you were abducted. Now, it's worse. I don't even know where you are. You just vanished. That isn't always so strange, but this time I sense you aren't coming back. That's not like you. And that worries me.
So now I'm left with my hopes for a semi-normal life lying broken about me like a shattered mirror. Every time I try to see why this all went wrong, why everything is the way it is, I see my disappointed, confused face staring back at me.
And William is my other constant reminder of you. My hope for normalcy shattered once again. I wanted a normal family life, to have kids, and after I had William I thought I could cling to that one part of my goal achieved. That I'd won my normal life after all. I'd won. But I was wrong. He is proving to be yet another source of abnormal activity and another reason why I can't sleep at night – not because of his crying, like any other newborn, but because of his lack thereof. So I sit alone, because I have sent everyone else away, and stare at the mobile spinning above William's crib, purposefully not looking at the shards of broken glass scattered throughout my life, but still knowing they are there.
I never thought I would be left behind, but now, though we had traveled far together, this last distance…must necessarily be traveled alone.
~fin