He doesn't want to be a person whom someone else always relies on.

He doesn't want to 'connect' with others-there seems no point for someone like him. To fake emotions is tiring.

He doesn't want some idiot telling him they 'love' him. It's a pathetic lie and has no point.

He doesn't want those big, honest, sea green eyes watching him whenever their in the same room.

He doesn't want to look up from his book to see lips curled into a bright smile and know that smile is for him.

He doesn't want to know how soft those lips are against his own.

He doesn't want to know the warmth and security of arms wrapped tightly around him or the feel of someone pressing their face into his hair.

He doesn't want to hear laughter, brought on by something he's said that is somehow taken to be amusing.

He doesn't want hesitant fingers curling into his hair or trailing accross his bare skin.

He doesn't want to share his bed on cold nights.

He doesn't want to feel warm and secure in arms that are surprisingly strong and sturdy.

He doesn't want to wonder if the other will be coming home from his missions in one piece. Or tend injuries brought home from said missions.

He doesn't want to willingly seek the other's company on occassion.

He doesn't want to curl up on his lap and innitiate kisses that sometimes turn to more...

He doesn't want those lips brushing over the scar on his chest or those sea green eyes looking down at him filled with emotions that can't possibly be experienced in their state.

He doesn't want to miss his idiot when he has to leave for a while.

He doesn't want to miss everything they were.

He doesn't wanted to wonder what they were.

He doesn't want to wake up in the middle of the night and realize he's alone.

He doesn't want to wonder how his idiot doing without him.

He doesn't want to wonder if his idiot found someone else.

He doesn't want to think of him as 'his idiot'.

He doesn't want to be the person who someone else loves. Or to love that someone else in return.

He doesn't want the world to always give him what he doesn't want.

He doesn't want it all taken away just when he realizes that most of it he really did want all along.