The Floo in the sitting room activated, and out onto the rug stepped a tall, pale bald man. He had barely turned his non-existent nose to the dumpy lady with the curly grey hair when she tackled him to the rug on the floor.

"Oh Voldy, how I missed you so!" She peppered his face with kisses and straddled his lap. She lifted her plump body off of the snake-like man when she spotted the mark on his neck. "What is that?"

"What is what, my dear?" He asked, his red eyes heavy lidded.

"You have a mark on your neck, who have you been with?" His hand flew to the opening in his robe, fingering the red mark at the base of his neck. "Oh that, that is simply a love bite from Nagini."

"And who is Nagini?" Pomona asked, now sitting on top of him with her arms crossed.

"Why, my dear, she is my Horcrux!" He said with a bright smile.

"I thought I was your only Horcrux!" She pouted. "You told me you gave me your soul."

"No, No my darling. I gave you my heart, afterall I don't need it." He smiled a snake-like smile. "But I had to give Nagini part of my soul so I can live forever." He pulled her back down to him and rolled them both, their clothes magically dissolved as they went. "Come now my dear, talk is cheap."

"Oh Voldy!" She cried as his tongue forked her ear.

"Oh yes, Pomy. Spread your hufflepuff for me so my basilisk may slytherin."

"Oh Voldy, your wand is so long!" Her hand reached for his pet snake.

"Why thank you Pomy, I rather dig your badger as well."

"You do know how much I love a good mandrake root." She moaned as his fingers plundered her chamber of secrets.

"You have me in your devil's snare, Pomy." He cried as he pounded her into the floor, her corpulent body wobbling like jelly with each thrust. Had he a nose to flare it would have flared with gusto, and his red eyes rolled into the back of his head. Not that anyone would notice, as even the whites were red. Which would make them reds.

"Oh Lordy,"

"Yes Pomy." He finished with a hiss, and she with a moan. He rolled off her and lay next to her on the rug. "When may I see you again my sweet little fanged geranium?"

"We must keep it a secret, Voldy. I can't have Dumbledore know I'm playing slippery serpent with his nemesis."

"Oh don't worry on that my little pot plant, he's still mooning the fact that Grindelwouldn't."

The portraits throughout the halls of Hogwarts could be heard retching long into the night.