During the Commercial - Taken

Sometimes Even a Strong Woman Needs a Strong Shoulder

Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Dick Wolf and company. I have just borrowed them for my own, and hopefully your, amusement.

Summary/Author's Note: "Taken" had a high and unfulfilled angst quotient surrounding the death of Olivia's mother. This is my attempt at filling it. Read, enjoy, and review. Thanks!

As Elliot entered the squadroom he glanced around but saw nothing of his partner. The Captain's office door was closed and the blinds were pulled. He wondered again why Cragen had needed her. They had put a name to the face on the video and Munch was tracking down an address now. Then they could go pick up the suspect, at least if he could find Olivia first.

The door to Cragen's office opened and a beat cop came out and quietly closed the door behind him. As Elliot met his eyes the first twinge of apprehension ran up his spine. Because, while he did not recognize the man, he did know the look on his face. It was the look you carried after you had just ripped someone's life apart. And Olivia was still nowhere to be seen. Galvanized by the need to find her, he strode quickly to Cragen's door. Taking what he hoped was a calming breath, he knocked quietly.

"Who is it?" Cragen asked.

"Elliot, Captain."

Inside the office Cragen looked at a now-seated Benson. At her brief nod he walked to the door and opened it. Elliot's gaze went immediately to Olivia and upon noticing her posture, not to mention her tightly clasped hands, he looked back at their boss, his heart squeezing at her pain. "Her mom," he mouthed silently, though he already knew the answer. The older man sadly nodded his head then stepped aside to allow the other to enter. He watched Stabler move to squat down in front of Olivia then turned to leave and give them some privacy. Elliot glanced toward the door at the sound of it closing then looked back at his partner. She had yet to meet his eyes, continuing to stare down at her hands clenched in her lap. This close he could see the few tear tracks on her face and he could tell that she was fighting for composure.

"Olivia?" His voice was as quiet and gentle as his hands as they came up to cover hers in her lap. After a moment she finally raised her head to meet his eyes. His heart broke at the grief in her brown eyes; eyes swimming in tears she would not let fall.

"She's gone, Elliot." The normally strong voice was barely more than a choked whisper.

"I know, Liv. I'm so sorry." The words felt so inadequate in the face of her loss. Moving to his knees, his hands released hers as he wrapped her in arms. For a moment she sat stiffly in his embrace, still battling to control her emotions. But then, choking back a sob, she sagged against him. Her hands came up to clench at his shirtfront and her head lowered to his shoulder. Elliot tightened his hold on her as he brought one hand to the back of her head. He could feel the tremors running through her and her breath against his neck. While one arm kept her tight to his chest, the other hand began to softly stroke her short hair and for a few minutes they remained that way. No words being spoken, just physical comfort being offered and received. And while theirs was not a relationship that usually included such things, these were nowhere near usual circumstances.

Finally, with a shuddering sigh, Olivia raised her head and once again met the concerned blue eyes now so close to her own. Elliot released her slowly, leaning back to be able to see her a better while still keeping one arm around her. His hand moved from the back of her head to cup her cheek, his thumb catching a single tear as it fell. Her hands in turn released their grip on his shirt to lay flat against his chest and for another moment she basked in the solace he was offering. Then she slowly turned her head, allowing her cheek to rest against his hand briefly before straightening again in her chair. He let her go and moved to pull the chair next to hers around in front of her. As he sat facing her he once again took her hands in his.

"Can you tell me what happened?" While he hated to ask the question, he knew his partner. She was going to need to talk about this. Maybe not right this moment but he wanted her to know he was there for whatever she needed, whenever she needed it. Her instincts as well as her history would have her wanting to pull inside and handle everything herself but sometimes you simply had to allow others to help. This was one of those times.

"She was drunk. She fell down a flight of subway stairs. There was nothing they could do." Three short sentences, flatly spoken. Yet a wealth of pain was behind them, both recent and garnered over a lifetime. Elliot knew that. He just did not know what he could do to alleviate any of it, at least not right then. It was probably not the time and definitely not the place. He squeezed her hands and tried at least for the moment to deal with the practicalities.

"Let me take you home," he urged gently.

"I can't. There's too much to do. I need to go to the morgue and identify…" Her voice broke but she bore down and after a slight pause continued, "her body. Then the arrangements..." Again her voice drifted off as the sheer magnitude of what she had to face hit her again.

"I'll go with you. Let me just tell Cragen…"

"No, Elliot, you can't." More than anything right then, short of this all turning out to just be a bad dream, Olivia would have loved to be able to lean on her partner. To let him simply take her home where she could curl up in the dark and hide from all of this. But that just was not possible. There were too many details to see to, decisions to make. And she had already broken down in front of him more than she ever had before, not to mention Cragen. If she leaned right then she was afraid she would break completely, and that she would not allow. She had to do this on her own.

"Liv, I'm not going to let you go through this alone. I'm your friend as well as your partner and I want to help you." Over the years they had been teamed together he had both admired and been exasperated by her stubborn independence, and never more than at a time such as this. He knew it was wrong to blame the dead but he was just as certain that much of this need to do things alone stemmed from the way she had been raised. Olivia had learned at an early age to depend on herself first, due to her mother's alcoholism and the circumstances of her own conception. And habits of a lifetime were hard to break. But it hurt him to see her like this and he simply could not stand to see someone he cared for in so much pain and not try to do something to help.

"I know, El, but I need to do this on my own. Please try to understand. Besides, you have a job to do here."

"Munch and Fin can handle the case for now. This is more important." He hated to push her but not as much as he hated the idea of her going through the next few steps without any support.

"Elliot, please." Her voice had again lowered to just above a whisper. Damn his Irish stubbornness. She could barely meet his eyes for the concern she knew was there was already weakening her control. She knew he cared and only wanted to help, but the only way she was going to be able to do what needed to be done next was if she locked everything away. And she couldn't do that if he was there. "Please."

His hands tightened on hers as he reluctantly acceded to her wishes. At least for the moment. But just because he couldn't be there didn't mean she had to be totally alone.

"Do you know where you have to go?"

"Cragen said she was taken to the morgue. Warner should have her."

"OK." Elliot pulled out his cell phone, all the while leaving one hand holding hers. He quickly punched in a number and had to wait only a second before the call was answered. "Doctor Warner please, Elliot Stabler calling…Doc, it's Elliot."

"El..." Olivia tried to cut him off, or at least figure out what he was up to but he briefly shook his head as he listened to the M.E. on the other end. Obviously she knew what had happened from the few words Elliot offered in response.

"Yes, she's here...as you would expect...identify...no I won't...wants to do it alone...thanks Doc."

Ending the call he tucked the phone back in his pocket then took both of her hands in his again. "She'll be waiting for you. She'll take you in, answer any of your questions, and help you begin with the decisions. Whatever you need."

"Elliot that's not necessary. I've done this before with victims..."

"Olivia, this isn't you helping a victim. This is your mother. You said you don't want me to go with you and I accept that. But I am not going to let you do this alone. Warner cares too." The entire time he was talking he kept his eyes on hers. He saw them well up with tears, and her blink them back. "Liv?"

"OK." Her reply was soft but she wasn't fighting him anymore.

"If you change your mind..."

"I know." She pulled one of her hands from his grasp to briefly lay it flat against his chest. "Thank you, Elliot."

He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her forehead.

As he sat back so did she. She gathered her courage and then took a deep breath. "I guess I should go."

"I'll walk you out." He stood and pulled her to her feet. He then released her hands to once again draw her to him. As his arms circled her she allowed herself another moment of weakness and put her arms around him as well. For a few moments they stood in each other's embrace. Olivia tried to draw from his strength but then forced herself to step away. Scrubbing her face with both hands she looked toward the door.

"I wonder how many people are out there?"

Elliot moved to the door and peered through the blinds. "Right now, just Fin."

"I'll need to get my things."

"I'll do that." Without waiting for her response he quickly opened the door and went into the squadroom, closing the door firmly behind him. Fin looked up as he entered and from his expression it was obvious that Cragen had already begun to pass the word.

"How's she doing?"

Elliot just shook his head. He would explain some things later. Right now his first concern was helping Olivia leave with as minimum a fuss as possible. He quickly and quietly asked Fin if he could step out and try to keep others away for a few minutes. Fin nodded and left as Elliot gathered Olivia's bag and coat, checking to ensure that her keys, phone, and other personal items were all there. He then went back into the captain's office. As he quietly opened the door he saw Olivia standing at the one-way mirror into the interrogation room. No one was using it at the moment, she just seemed lost in thought. Or simply lost.

"Olivia."

She turned and squared her shoulders. Walking to him, she took her things and stepped into the outer room. He followed close behind her, one hand at her back as she went through the room and out to the elevator. They were both silent as they waited for the doors to open. As she stepped inside he stopped her one more time,

"You'll call me?"

"Yes."

The doors closed between them. Elliot stared at them for a moment, offered a silent prayer, then turned and walked back into the squadroom.