Disclaimer: Oh what do you know, I still don't own Glee.
A/N: Third installment in the 'Breathe' one-shot mini-series. Sequel to 'Breathe', Prequel to 'A Place To Be'.
Just saying in case you want to read them in order. The next will be a Prequel to 'Breathe', I think, and yes of course just to freak your imagination out
more. Well, no, actually what you are witnessing here is my imagination and mind having several field days with me. Oh well, story of my mental life really.
Love, M
…and ENJOY! Always ENJOY! Drama and Fluffy Fluff ahead *smiles*
Dawn
"Kurt?" Blaine says, looking up at his boyfriend, his voice quiet and steady but still rough with remnants of sleep and dreams, which are now –while Blaine is
admiring the peaceful expression on Kurt's face - already slipping back into his subconscious and out of his mind's reach.
"Kurt?" Blaine tries again, but when he gets no response from the sleeping boy Blaine slowly lifts his head glances around the still dark room and as his eyes
fall onto a clock and he reads 4:20am Blaine thinks to himself 'Still the middle of the night, I better let him his rest after yesterday.'
Just as Blaine is about to settle his head back against Kurt's chest, seconds away from closing his eyes again so he will be able to refocus on his boyfriends
heartbeat, a sound he loves, and on picturing the deep blue of the eyes he wishes where looking back at him right now, filling all of his vision, Kurt shifts
lightly, and Blaine's eyes fall onto the bandage on Kurt's left forearm.
Blaine feels himself scrambling of the couch in panic, as the full force of the events that took place in this room the previous day hits him.
Missing the warmth that Blaine's body spent him all night, Kurt begins to shift and soon wakes to the sound of panicked breathing. As he opens his eyes
they instantly fall on Blaine who is frozen in the middle of the room, only his chest raising and falling in erratic, painful looking, rapid movements.
Kurt follows Blaine's eyes, which it seems to Kurt, at first, are fixed somewhere on the couch.
"Babe, what are you looking at?" Kurt asks, his voice deeper than Blaine is used to hear it, and Blaine cannot help the tears welling up in his eyes at the
thought that he is cause for that too, after all he is the reason Kurt cried the way he did last night, for what Blaine remembers as hours.
Only as Kurt pushes himself into a sitting position it begins to dawn on him what Blaine really has been staring at all along.
There is no pain in his forearm, after all, 'It is really just a cut that ran a bit too deep as to not draw blood,' Kurt thinks.
In fact, it is only the pull of the bandage that his dad has fixed rather tightly over the wound that catches Kurt's attention at all.
"I did that?" Blaine asks shakily.
Kurt can see in his eyes that it is not really a question at all; and the whimper the sentence is followed by, as Kurt reaches for the bandage in order to
remove it and show Blaine that it really is no big deal, has Kurt stop immediately, get up and move to hug Blaine.
But Blaine, on instinct, takes several steps back.
"No. I hurt you. You don't…How can I…" Blaine's words trail of into whispers that Kurt cannot make any sense of.
"Babe, you were upset, it is okay, nothing happened, really, it is nothing," Kurt says as he in only a couple of swift movements removes the bandage.
His own eyes are still locked on Blaine's face. The gasp he hears makes him turn his gaze down to the now clearly visible wound on the outer line of his left
forearm. And Kurt thinks, okay, maybe it is not nothing, and looking at the cut, and the slight bruising on the inside of his forearm where he had hit the
floor, that sports different coloring in various spots already, does not make it look any less painful.
Looking back to Blaine's face, Kurt knows Blaine would be in tears was he not in such a state of shock.
"I have to go, I am so sorry Kurt. I will never come near you again."
Kurt wants to scream STOP!, and NO!, and STAY!, but he also really does not want his parents to join in on this, so instead he runs after Blaine who is about
to reach out for the handle on the front door as he feels Kurt's hand on his.
For a moment Blaine can only stare, once again, because it is Kurt's left, his hurt arm that has entered Blaine's field of vision.
Kurt takes this chance to lean in to Blaine's back, softly pressing his right cheek into Blaine's curls, and using his and Blaine's right hands, which he has
thoroughly intertwined, to hug Blaine with both their right arms across his stomach, pulling him in closer. "It was not your fault, it was an accident," Kurt
whispers into Blaine's curls.
"But Kurt, I did that. I was so out of control, I hurt you, how can you ever…how can I ever trust me to be around you again?" And now, fully admitting his
own thoughts to himself, Blaine is crying, and Kurt slowly lets go of Blaine, so he can move in between Blaine and the door, because he wants to look Blaine
into his face when he tells him he would never blame him for what happened, and that he himself is no stranger to out of control fear and anger and yes
rage that can lead to things like this.
But Blaine misinterprets the loosening of Kurt's touch and sinks sobbing to the floor, which has Kurt perch right next to him in an instant. "Babe, no, don't, I
love you, please stop crying so we can talk about this, and move on. Together. I know you feel bad about what happened, and that is what makes it okay,
can't you see that? We both know it happened and we will deal with it. That makes it fine, that makes us fine. We are okay Love, really. I…I…" and Kurt is at
a loss for words, so he takes Blaine into his arms, scoots, holding him, against the front door, and lets Blaine cry it out.
Kurt watches the light that slowly creeps in through the windows change color, and the shadows it has the furniture and antics throw change form.
When Kurt can feel Blaine calm more and more he slowly pulls both of them to their feet.
He leads Blaine into the kitchen sits him down on a chair, and hands him a glass of water. After taking a few swigs himself he says, "I will be back in one
second, don't run out on me, okay?" As Blaine looks at him and nods, a serious expression on his face, Kurt smiles and turns to the stairs.
Kurt comes back down moments later, with what looks to Blaine like a quilt and a picnic blanket in his hands "New record time," Kurt smiles, "usually I have
to look for ages to find our picnic blanket, Finn usually keeps leaving it all over the place, one of the perks of having a sibling I guess."
With that Kurt grabs Blaine's hand, and leads him out into the backyard.
Spreading the blanket out on the grass - that is in the sunlight, which is growing slightly more intense every minute now, glistening with this morning's dew
- Kurt takes Blaine's right hand firmly in his left and pulls lightly at his arm to signal for him to sit down next to Kurt.
Next Kurt wraps the quilt around them. It feels smoother and softer than any quilt Blaine has ever had, and seeing Blaine's relaxed but questioning
expression Kurt says in a low, soft voice layered with the weight of a dozen memories, or more, "My mum sowed a pattern made up of silk and velvet into it
and gave it to me with a note saying that if I ever felt I missed her warmth and the touch of her skin on mine I should wrap myself into this quilt and
imagine it was her embrace around me."
"Oh, Kurt. How can you share that with me after what I did?"
"…because I want to share all of me with you, and she is a big part of me, always will be. And I want you to see, that something good can come of this
experience for us as a couple, if we don't push it ever happened away, and if we don't push each other away."
Blaine winces at the word 'push', both times, and Kurt mouths 'sorry' as he notices. "I will always hate that I lost my mum, but I love that she did this for
me," Kurt says letting his eyes wander over the quilt. "I don't like what happened yesterday Blaine, but I really think we can grow from that if we talk about
how it came to it,...about me needing to leave you your space when you are that upset – which I hope you will never be again. It was so hard to watch you
like that," Kurt adds in an afterthought, and Blaine locks his eyes, which had been resting on the patterns of the quilt, with Kurt's
as he says "And I will have to talk more about my parents and the problems I have with them. I just thought I could leave it all behind if I don't bring it up.
I wish I could just get out of that house and be over with it."
"You are out of that house, we will go there later today and get your stuff. And it is okay that you cannot do that, forget it all ever happened, and you
should not feel like you have to. I want to be there for you, and frankly, I would be more worried about you if you were not angry and wrecked after what
they put you through. I can promise you I will be there for you as long as you let me. I won't run away if you open up and let me in. I won't. I love you."
"I love you more."
"I doubt that, but better not turn it into a contest, you know what you are like when I win."
And Blaine just laughs at that, full-heartedly, and in that moment it is the best sound Kurt can imagine he will ever hear. That will change of course in a
couple of months when they start having sex, but Kurt does not know that yet.
Blaine reaches for both of Kurt's hands holding together the quilt around their shoulders and as they hold on to each other, the fabric is held between their
hands, in parts even interwoven with their fingers.
When Blaine leans in for a soft kiss Kurt responds instantly.
"Almost as soft as the quilt's layering," Kurt whispers against Blaine's lips when they both pull back the tiniest bit, "except for your morning scruff. I love it,"
Kurt adds with a wink.
Blaine smiles broadly again, and Kurt is in love with this boy and his smile, "I am in love with that smile."
And Blaine knows how corny it will sound but it feels nothing but true in this moment so he says it anyway, "I am in love with you."
And for the first time since Kurt opened his front door on Blaine, the day before, both boys are just smiling at each other, holding hands, surrounded,
comforted and feeling complete, wrapped into their own bodies' combined warmth held by the velvet and silk surrounding all of them.