Title: Prima Donna
Synopsis: Smeepalicious gets a surprise when the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh attends her performance of Christine in the Phantom of the Opera at Kaiba's new theater. HAVOC ENSUES. REPOSTED BECAUSE SMEEP WANTED AN ALTERNATE ENDING.
Rating: K+
A/N: Happy birthday Smeep. I hope you like this. Because if you don't then I'll never stop hearing about this. Curse the fact that you live in the same house as me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh because if I did everyone would always dress as if they were coming out of the French aristocracy. I also don't own the Phantom of the Opera, because if I did, Raoul wouldn't have been such a pansy in the movie.
--
Why Seto Kaiba was going to open a theater, no one knew. It had nothing to do with Duel Monsters, or dragons, or technology, so when Yami, Bakura, Joey, Tristan and the rest of the attractive males from Yu-Gi-Oh got their invitations to see some broad named Smeepalicious sing Christine in Phantom of the Opera, they were all rather confused.
"I never knew Kaiba was into that sort of pansy stuff." Joey remarked as he and his friends headed into the theater.
"There's nothing wrong with this stuff." Yugi said blushing, but reminded himself to stay quiet. If Joey and Tristan found out about his secret Gerard Butler photo collection then he'd never hear the end of it. Even when Yami had found out he had been mocked mercilessly for it.
Joey shrugged and went to go poke Tristan for some reason unknown to either Yami or Yugi. Yami hovered above Yugi's shoulder. "That was a close one." He said referring to the Gerard Butler photos. Yugi blushed an even deeper red and remained silent.
"Yes, I hear that the girl in the lead role is quite exquisite."
Yugi turned around quickly, not quite believing his eyes. There in a dashingly good-looking jacket with a jabot, top hat and cane was none other than Yami Bakura. Trailing alongside him were the other more attractive villains from their travels, including Marik, Siegfried, Valon and Pegasus. All of who were looking quite debonair in their fancy going out clothes. Not that Yugi would admit that out loud. Never.
"I can hear your thoughts, you know." Yami said a bit tauntingly. Yugi swatted at the spirit above him, but his hand went right through. "You know that doesn't even tickle, right?"
"Shut up, damn you." Yugi said as the villain brigade approached him, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Mahad, Shadi, and for some reason Grandpa in his Apdnarg costume.
The two groups of attractive and mostly young men seemed to collide with one another. The villains all looking like they stepped off of the set of Le Chevalier D'Eon in their French aristocratic clothing, and the good guys from… well… Yu-Gi-Oh in their normal school day clothing. Or Egyptian clothing, in a few cases. The differences were very noticeable. All of the 'good guys' suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.
"Yugi," Bakura began in his sexy British accent. "I do say, it has been quite some time, how have you-" He continued in a mocking tone before he was interrupted by the roaring applause that was started in the lobby as Seto Kaiba himself walked in with Mokuba and another man in a skin tight body suit that made Yugi swoon. Just a little though.
Everyone stared at him, expecting him to make a speech. It was the grand opening of his new theater.
At last, he spoke. "What are you staring at losers? Get inside and watch the damn show!" And with that all of the people in the lobby made a mad dash over to the doors of the theater where the show was scheduled to start in just a few minutes. Without speaking another word to each other the two groups hobbled inside the theater, noticing for the first time, that they were probably the youngest ones in attendance. Ah, how the audience of musical theater has changed. Yugi thought solemnly to himself as they entered, earning himself a mocking giggle from Yami.
They all sat down and the curtain rose.
--
From the moment the radiant, beautiful and amazingly talented Smeepalicious entered the stage to the moment she exited the entire cast of Yu-Gi-Oh was riveted. Even the unfamiliar man in the bodysuit who was sitting in a box with Kaiba was unable to take his eyes off of the belting green-eyed soprano. She intoxicated them all. When the show was over Kaiba invited all of the performers back onstage to take one final bow and to present Smeep with a bouquet of roses.
Red roses, which meant…
"He's in love with her!" Joey screamed. All at once all of the attractive males in the audience got up and ran onto the stage where Smeep was gratefully accepting the bouquet that was presented to her. Like a cloud of moe the boys jumped on top of Kaiba, making him lose his balance. Smeep looked frightened and held onto her flowers for dear life. The boy in the jumpsuit quickly came and whispered something along the lines of 'run as fast as you can' into Smeep's ear, so she did. But the large dress that she wore seemed to give her difficulties doing that, so the jumpsuit clad boy did what he can.
Swiftly he removed the contacts from his eyes and spoke to the boys who were just getting up from on top of his friend Seto. "Lelouch vi Britannia commands you to…" but before he could finish the sentence the boys were up and running chasing after Smeep. Being as bad at running as he was, Lelouch didn't attempt to follow him. Instead he put a reassuring hand on his friend's back and said, "It's up to you now. You must live." Confused, Kaiba accepted the words and began to chase after Smeep himself.
After a twenty minute long Scooby Doo-esque chase that went through the dressing rooms of the theater Smeep was finally caught by the boys. Instead of having an orgy that rivaled Bacchus's, Smeep ordered all of the men to sit down.
"SIT!" She yelled and they all obeyed like neutered dogs. "Now, I want this to be civilized. I am a strong, independent woman and I like to do things that strong, independent women enjoy."
"Like what?" Tristan asked stupidly in his voice that reminded everyone else unpleasantly of Barney the Dinosaur or Patrick Star.
"Like…" Smeep stopped to think for a moment. The men all looked at her with greater intensity, their bodies moving slowly forward in order to be closer to the intoxicating vixen. "A tea party!" A few of the boys moaned or sighed, but Bakura took this as his chance.
"Yes, m'dear, right away." He said as he stood up. He snapped at Marik who dragged a table that was used in the show from the wings of the theater. With a flourish of his wrist Bakura pulled out the portable porcelin tea set that he carried with him in his pocket. "Just in case of an emergency need for tea." He said as he took out a thermos of searing hot water that was also miraculously also residing in his pocket. No one cared to ponder how he had fit all of that into his pockets however, because Marik had retuned with the table and they were now all attempting to make Smeep as comfortable as possible. She seemed to be enjoying herself emmensely.
Only two stood to the side of the action. Valon and an attractive, though short, red haired girl.
"You aren't going to join in?" Beans asked as she heard her sister order Duke to run out to get some cheese. The smellier the better. And none of that Wisconsin shit, she only wanted French. Beans looked away, she hated that sort of cheese.
"No, not my thing. I prefer coffee." Valon said as he turned his eyes away from the men immasculating themselves over Smeep.
"But don't you want to hang with the prima donna?" Beans asked Valon. "She was really, really good." Beans added as an added insentive.
"Nah, I like the kind of gal who works backstage better." He said nonchalantly as he looked over her stage blacks and the flashlight that she was carrying.
"Interesting." Beans said with a grin.
"Want to get a cup of joe?" He asked with an even wider grin.
Beans looked back at her sister for a moment. "Well, Smeep and I were supposed to go out celebrating…" Beans turned her head over to her sister to find her giving Joey and Tristan a lesson on manners in front of a women. Beans was decided. "But I think she'd rather be doing this." Valon and Beans walked out of the room laughing and joking.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The end.
Happy birthday Smeep. Sorry it's a month and a half late and this fic sucks arse, but at least I thought of you as I wrote it.