Inspired by some of the on-set pics that are going around – this is wish-fic. I think it's just a one-shot.
How does it feel knowing your girlfriend's one true love is back from the dead? We're taking bets on how long before you're in the trash. –A
The text comes through just as Paige is about to leave the changing room and step out into the swimming pool area. The number's blocked but she knows what it means. She sensed it. Has been able to sense it for a while, since Emily and her friends got rescued from that burning building. She sits back down on the benches in front of the lockers and runs a hand over her eyes trying to hold back the tears. It's everything she's ever feared come back to haunt her.
XXXXXX
Paige's routine before a meet is always the same. Changes an hour before everyone else, paces around the locker room giving little pep talks to those that seem to need it, loosening up her shoulder muscles as she goes – she's always tight in her shoulders, it's where she holds her tension. Then, after the Coach's speech, she gives her captain's team talk, then she hangs back in the locker room, giving herself time to think and prepare. So, Emily's not worried when Paige doesn't come out of the locker room the first five minutes after everyone else, nor the next five, it's when it gets on for fifteen minutes and the announcer is calling the team names that she begins to worry. It's a really big meet for Paige today, the scouts are here, the ones with the promise of a dream scholarship. Her mom and dad are here, Emily can see them sitting on the bleachers beside her own mom. Paige's mom is holding a huge inflatable shark and she smiles and waves every time Emily looks their way. Emily knows that this is putting pressure on Paige, but she also knows that if she gives herself a chance she can handle it. She debates going in to find her, but wants to give her the time and space she needs to control her nerves.
XXXXX
Paige knows she has to get up and leave, knows she has to give her team support, knows she has to go out there and blow away the competition. She knows the recruiter is watching, knows her mom and dad are watching, that her team are watching and her Coach is watching, knowing that they're all willing her to do her best, to be the best. And, worst of all? She knows that Emily will be there too, cheering for her, because if she can get this scholarship? It means she and Emily have a chance of getting into the same College. But she doesn't know what to think now.
She rubs her hand over her eyes. She can't think, can't concentrate. All she thinks about is Emily and the meaning of the text, that Alison's back. Back in Emily's life and therefore, back in her own life. She feels sick and lets out a groan. But she can also hear the roar of the crowd, the sound of the announcer calling out the names of her team and she knows that come hell or high water, she'll be there for them, for her Coach, for Emily, and for all the people who've supported her. She stands up.
XXXX
The meet is a disaster for Paige. Emily almost can't watch. She doesn't know what to do and when Paige loses the relay and shrugs off her comforting arm, Emily knows it's probably best to just leave Paige be so she lets herself be engulfed by the rest of the girls. Paige was so off today, her timings as she made her dive, over-thinking her turns and losing the rhythm of her strokes. Paige didn't see it, but Emily notices the recruiter leave as soon as she slips behind in the relay. She also notices Paige's dad notice.
Emily decides to try and put off the inevitable and heads him off before he can get to Paige. Paige's mom is two steps behind him and sends Emily a grateful glance.
"Hi, Mr. McCullers." She tries to smile, his face is like thunder, but she's held him up enough for his wife to be able to catch up with him, she grips him by the elbow and gently tugs him back enough for him to remember himself and smile tightly at Emily,
"Emily. Hello."
Ann McCullers steps towards Emily and places a kiss on her cheek,
"Hello, dear. You did well today."
Emily looks between her and Paige's dad, she stands tall,
"Thank you. Mr. McCullers? I don't know what happened with Paige today, but I think she just needs some time alone at the moment."
"What happened? What happened is she just blew her chance at a scholarship on the best swimming programme in the country."
Emily isn't sure what to say to this. She knows it and she's sure that Paige knows it too. She can only try and give her some time before she has to face her dad. Emily doesn't know how to stop him from finding Paige and tearing into her. She's looking around for help and breathes a sigh of relief when she spots their Coach coming towards them. Emily smiles weakly at Paige's mom and noticing her give her a small nod of encouragement, she leaves the Coach to deal with the fallout of Paige's dad. Emily can hear Coach Fulton's attempts to pacify him and assure him that she knows the scout, she can and will call him and it's not the end of the road for Paige.
Emily, meanwhile slips into the locker room. The atmosphere's subdued - they won the meet against stiff competition, but they also know Paige may have blown her chance of a scholarship. The team cares about Paige, especially the juniors, who Paige handles with grace and compassion. Paige knows how to get the best out of them, she's learnt what makes them tick, who needs a challenge, who needs a hug, she knows all their names, when Emily can only barely remember who they are. She's become Coach Fulton's right-hand woman and Fulton often calls her in when help is needed with the team.
She looks around for Paige but can't find her anywhere. She looks into the showers, the cubicles but there's no sign. Emily even tries her locker, but baulks at looking at Paige's phone which is lying on top of her bag, even though she can see the text indicator light flashing. Emily notices the juniors huddled together discussing something, but she guesses it's just about the meet and leaves them be. She gets showered and changed quickly knowing her mom's waiting for her - the original plan being to go out for a celebratory dinner with Paige. She finds her mom and Mrs. McCullers waiting for her in the corridor.
"Hi, love."
"Hi, mom."
"Emily, have you seen Paige?"
Emily sighs and looks around her, she pushes the hair away from her face,
"No, Mrs. McCullers, I've been looking for her everywhere. Her stuff's still in her locker along with her phone, but she doesn't look like she's got changed or anything. I don't know where she'd go. She can't have left the building."
"I know, Emmy. I'm sure she's fine." Pam looks between her daughter and Ann McCullers. Ann is looking worried and Pam gives her arm a quick squeeze. Emily notices too,
"Mrs. McCullers? I'm sure Paige is ok. Where's Mr. McCullers?"
"I managed to get him to go home to look for her," she smiles a little conspiratorially, "although I'm sure she won't have gone there. But I'm sure she's ok, dear. She used to do this a lot when she was little and things didn't go her way. She'd disappear to sulk and then come back fighting. We learnt to stay out of her way or she and Nick would end up not speaking for a week." She smiles weakly at Emily. "You should go for dinner with your mother, Paige probably just needs some time alone. She'll come round." She turns to leave, giving Emily a more genuine smile and then turns back to her, "If you do find her, please let me know. And when I do, I'll call you."
Emily wants to protest, but her mom takes her arm more forcefully.
"Emmy? I'm sure Ann is right. Let's get something to eat and then we can look for Paige again. She'll call you when she's ready."
"Mom? Can we please skip food? I'm not hungry. I'll stay around here and wait for her. She'll have to come back sometime."
"I'd rather not. Please, at least come home, have something to eat and then I'll drop you back here later to look for her if you've not heard from her. She's got keys hasn't she, as Captain?"
Emily nods, knowing she's beaten on this one for now. She turns to go with her mom, firing off a text as she goes,
I'm so sorry, Paige. Call me as soon as you feel able. I love you. Em xxx
XXXXX
Paige was lucky that Coach Fulton got to her before anyone else. She grabbed her straight after the finish of the relay, ushered her into her office and locked the door promising Paige she'd be back and not to worry. After a while, Paige hears the door opening and she looks up. Coach Fulton looks back at her, concern lacing her eyes. Paige looks terrible, eyes red, nose running, she's stopped crying but the tear tracks are clearly seen.
Coach Fulton comes over to Paige and sits on the chair opposite her,
"Paige? I intercepted your dad, he's angry and upset, but he will calm down. I told him I know the scout and I'll call him. It's not all riding on this one meet I promise you. I've spoken to him before, he knows everything you do for the team, he has your times over the past year. We'll ask him to come back, only this time, we won't tell everyone ok?"
Paige sniffles and rubs her nose with the back of her hand, while Coach Fulton passes her a tissue. She feels empty and afraid. Everyone thinks she's upset about the scout and about screwing up the meet, but it's more than just that, it's Emily and Alison and the texts she's been getting and the uneasy feelings she's been getting just walking around Rosewood these past three weeks. It's as if someone is watching her, following her. A couple of times in the past week, she's had the uncanny feeling of someone following her; footsteps behind her that stop as she turns to see who's there; shadows in the shadows that she senses are watching her and a vague sense of paranoia that's creeping up on her all the time. This last text just acted to confirm it, and of course, it couldn't have come at a worse time. Part of her is confused, because it feels like a very Shana-thing to do, Shana knows her pre-meet routine too, they discussed it while they were dating and suddenly a light goes off in her head and she groans, loudly. Her and Shana dating, of course, it was too much of a coincidence, especially now that Paige knows about Shana's friendship with Jenna. She's become an easy way for them to get at Emily.
Paige snaps out of her reverie when she hears Coach shuffle slightly. She looks up and attempts a smile,
"Thanks. My dad's gonna kill me though." She sighs and her shoulders slump again, "I'm so sorry I let you down."
"No, Paige, you didn't."
Paige starts crying softly again,
"I let everyone down. I let the team down, my dad down, Emily."
Coach knows about Paige and Emily, at first she was a little reserved about it, about how it would affect both the team and her two best swimmers, but it seems to have been good for both of them, the rivalry and growing affection they have seems to spur them on, so she's been encouraging.
"You know that's not true. Everyone cares about you Paige, Emily in particular. You want me to call her? I'm going to have to leave, I have some stuff to take care of, but I can ask her to come here if you'd like? Or I can call your mom?"
Paige's head snaps up,
"Um, no. Please call Emily. Just give me a little bit of time."
Coach Fulton nods, she's grown fond of this girl who was so prickly when she first turned up for the trials, who kept herself shut away from everyone, who thought she had to bribe the team in order to become Captain. Coach Fulton knows that isn't the case anymore. She thinks, Paige wouldn't even recognize herself now, she's so far away from that person, and Coach is proud of her, of how far she's come, of the person she is now.
"Coach? Is it ok if I use the pool? I just want clear my head and swimming sometimes helps."
Coach looks kindly at her, smiles,
"Sure. But don't tire yourself out. And don't avoid your dad forever. He's not a bad man and he loves you very much. I've spoken to him. You haven't ruined your life forever, Paige, I promise."
Paige looks up, a faint smile on her lips, Coach holds up her phone as she slips past her into the corridor,
"I'll call Emily when I'm home." She turns to leave, then turns back, "Oh, and Paige? Don't forget to turn the lights out and lock up carefully before you go home." She starts off down the corridor, calling behind her as she goes, "And Paige, I'll see you bright and early Monday morning for practice."
Paige gives a half-smile, then stands up, wiping her eyes on the corner of the towel she's been wrapped in. She shivers slightly as she exits the coach's office and pads on into the locker room. She decides to check her phone before she heads out to the pool. It's quiet, deserted, everyone has gone home for the evening. There are ripped posters celebrating the Sharks on the floor, some discarded clothes left behind by the team in their hurry to get away – it's Friday night, they won and they've got celebrating to do. Paige understands and suddenly remembers with a pang that she was supposed to go for a meal with Emily and Mrs. Fields. She sighs and drops her head, running her hand over her eyes, still sore and a little stingy from crying. She opens her locker and steps back quickly as a confetti-shower of paper flutters down. She picks a couple of pieces up from the floor and smiles, as she sees they're a dozen heart-shaped pieces with the names of the team scrawled on them, with good luck messages, messages of support, some with "Go Batman!" on, (her nickname from the team after she was caught wearing Batman boy-shorts one day) and she realizes that the team must have put them in her locker after the meet. She reads through them all, smiling sadly.
She notices the text alert light on her phone flashing and scrolls through the messages, sees the ones from Emily, missed calls from her mom and with a growing sense of dread, an unrecognized number. She opens it up.
You still want to play, Batman? You or your girl? Who's it to be? –A
She snaps the messages shut and rubs the back of her neck. She sighs and leans against the locker, her heart pounding wildly. She's willing herself to calm down. Still since Nate, with all the stuff with Emily, she gets scared by the smallest thing. Only, she knows this isn't small. She knows what –A is capable of. But she tries to swallow the fear. She's not going to be intimidated. She's going to do what Emily does and she's going to live her life.
She grabs her phone, her after-meet sweats and a clean towel from the pile and slips into the pool area. She switches off the main lights, then stiffens as she hears something from the direction of the locker room, but berates herself for her growing paranoia. The air is still warm although she shivers slightly as she discards her now-damp towel and dives gracefully into the centre of the pool. Surfacing she shakes her head to clear her eyes of water and treads water. Taking in a gulp of air, she dives to the bottom of the pool where she swims underwater for a length. Surfacing at the deep end, she wipes her eyes again, before setting off for a lazy lap of the pool.
As she swims she wishes for the comfort it usually brings, the snap and pull of her muscles, the reach and rhythm that's somehow missing tonight and has been missing all night. Her mind wanders back to the texts she received. She's not sure whether to tell Emily or not, isn't sure what good it will do, but at the same time, all their problems stem from whenever she or Em aren't totally honest with one another. Just as she's about to dive down again, she hears it. Voices. Whispering. Laughing. Wiping chlorine from her eyes, she treads water again, slowly spinning around, lighted only by the soft, blue glow of the lights underwater. The ripples in the pool reflect on the ceiling and she can see shapes and shadows. She gasps a little in fear, the second text coming to mind as she hears again the whispered laughs and tries to control her breathing.
"Hello? Who's there?"
She calls out and hears the laughter again, then footsteps. She can't tell if they're coming towards her or running away and she almost screams, but she refuses to give in to her fear. A few minutes pass. She calls out again, this time hearing footsteps running towards the pool. Paige feels trapped, she's treading water still in the middle of the pool. She's circling slowly, trying to figure out a way of escape when a figure suddenly appears at the door of the pool.
XXXXX
Emily's managed a small plate of food that she eats through exhaustion and a wish to please her mom, rather than genuine hunger. She can't settle. She's trying to take her mother's advice and wait for Paige to contact her but she's nervous. She's trying to watch tv with her mom, when finally her phone rings. Picking it up, she's surprised and concerned when she sees it's Coach Fulton's number.
"Emily?"
"Coach?"
"Hi, Emily. Paige is fine. She's still at the pool, I think she'd like you to go down there and see her. She's still pretty upset but I think she's calmer now. She said she wanted to do some laps, so perhaps you can meet her and lock up together?"
Emily breathes out a sigh of relief and puts her hand to her forehead.
"Thanks, Coach, I will. Um. Is she, is she ok?"
"Yes, Emily, she'll be ok. She could just use a friend at the moment."
"Sure. I'll be right there." Emily wants to know something, but she's a little nervous of asking. But she figures this whole situation is a special one, so she takes a breath, "uh, Coach? Do you know where she's been since the meet?"
Coach Fulton chuckles,
"Sure, no one ever thinks to check my office."
Emily smiles, of course, the most obvious place in the world. She thanks Coach, tells her mom where she's off and heads out to her car.
She thinks it's odd when she reaches the natatorium and the door isn't properly shut to. She heads inside, taking in the familiar smell of chlorine, the slightly warm, damp atmosphere of the place where she's spent so much of her time at High School, the place where she and Paige first fought and met and sometimes fought again. A smile tugs her lips as she thinks of Paige and then is quickly dispelled as she remembers her this evening, broken and lost as she hauled herself out of the pool. She's pulled out of her revery as she hears a faint cry coming from the pool. She breaks into a jog and stumbles as she pushes inside the locker room. The lights are off. Emily's a little more urgent as she pushes open the door to the pool. All she can see is darkness, broken only by the rippling flicker of the underwater lights reflecting on the ceiling. As her eyes adjust, she notices Paige as she pulls gently, confidently to get to the side of the pool and hauls herself out of the water.
"Em." Paige sighs, "did Coach call?"
Emily passes Paige her towel and helps her wrap herself up in it, gently rubbing her arms in a vain attempt to dry her.
"Yeah. Everyone's worried about you."
Paige shoots her a look that Emily is unable to read at the moment and grimaces.
"You sure about that?"
"Paige. You didn't do anything wrong. You just had an off day."
Paige screws up her face and catches her eye,
"You gonna tell that to my dad?"
Emily attempts a smile in response and shrugs,
"He'll come round. Paige, I phoned your mom, she wanted to know when I'd heard from you. She said you could stay at mine tonight if you like?"
Paige snaps her head round to look at Emily as if trying to make sense of all she's saying. Her head's spinning a little. She hasn't eaten properly, a combination of nerves beforehand and missed opportunity afterwards. Also, she's a little spooked from the texts. And Alison. She goes to speak, stops, then looks up at Emily. Emily feels her watching her and for some reason it's making her uncomfortable.
"Paige are you ok?"
Paige shrugs, she knows she's scaring Emily, but she needs to talk to her and she needs to do it now. She sits down at the side of the pool her feet dangling over the edge. Emily sits cross-legged to the side. They don't touch, not yet.
"Paige?"
Paige shakes her head as if to clear it a little. She can't look at Emily, so she stares across the pool. When she finally speaks it's so quiet, Emily has to lean in a little to hear.
"Alison's back."
It's not a question, and Emily's blood freezes for a moment. Then her heart starts to pound. If Paige knows, then how? Does it mean they've had contact? And if so, what kind of contact? Questions are whizzing through her head. She takes a deep breath, not sure how she's going to respond until she does,
"Yes."
"You didn't tell me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know how. How long have you -?"
Paige laughs, harshly,
"Tonight. I got a text. That's why I was late out of the lockers."
Emily and Paige sit quietly, comtemplating. Tension rises around them, so quiet and still they can hear the flap and drip of the filters, the ripples around Paige's feet as she moves them slowly in the water. Emily is so aware of Paige's movements, she watches the rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathes, watches the water slide down her throat and disappear below the towel. Paige is looking straight across to the bleachers the other side of the pool.
"Have you seen her?"
"I don't know." Emily shrugs, "It's hard to say. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm sure she pulled us all out of that burning building. And all of us think we've seen her throughout the last two years, but we just never told the others." She gives a wry laugh, "Guess it would have seemed kind of crazy, huh? We all thought we saw her that night though. Even Mona."
Paige feels herself tearing up. Not only is Alison back, now she's some kind of hero who's been watching over the girls throughout all this madness in their lives. She sighs and Emily can hear how shaky her breathing is. She turns her head away from Emily to ask,
"Do you want her?"
"What?"
"Do you want to be with her?"
"Paige? What are you asking?"
"I know you were in love with her. When you were younger, when she was alive - still alive - not back from the dead. Do you want to be with her now?"
Emily finally leans forward, reaching out to Paige. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind before Paige said, and now it's in the open, it kind of makes sense that Paige went there - it would be her worst nightmare come true. It explains her whole performance, her whole demeanor throughout the meet, when she looked small and insecure, completely opposed to her usual confidence and poise when she swims.
"Honestly? No."
Paige snaps her head round to look at her, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't believe you."
Emily half-smiles,
"What?"
"I don't believe you. If she was all you wanted, since you were, I don't know, 14 or something and suddenly she comes back from the dead…" Paige can't find the words, "I – I- I would. If she wanted me."
Emily leans forwards, takes Paige's hand in hers,
"I know you would. But Paige, we're not talking about you and me." Paige looks at Emily, then quickly turns her head away, pulls her hand from Emily's.
"I can't cope with this." She rubs her hand over her eyes, wiping away the tears that have gathered there, she swallows hard, pushing back the tears, "I can't cope with knowing she's back and that she was your first love and that now you can have her and I'm just in the way. Emily you're the only person I've ever wanted. I know how it feels when that person comes back into your life. I can't do this." She takes a deep breath, "I think we should break up. Emily, I can't just be your substitute, just someone you're with until you get the real thing."
Emily laughs, incredulously,
"No."
"What?"
"No. Absolutely not. We're not breaking up."
"You can't just say no. If I want to. What are you going to do? Force me to go out with you?"
"I'll just stalk you. I'll follow you around. Everywhere you are, I'll be. I'll follow you home and I'll be there when you leave for school in the morning. I'll be at swim practice anyway. I'll follow you on your runs in the woods. I'll sit with you at lunchtimes. Oh, and I'll just keep talking to you, so everyone will think we're together anyway, so, you may as well just accept it. And another thing, you know your mum loves me. She'll back me up."
Paige smiles despite herself, she rubs behind her ear,
"Actually, I kind of like the idea of you stalking me."
Emily shifts her tone, she takes Paige's hand again, moving her head until she's sure Paige is looking at her,
"Paige? Seriously. I choose you. Every single time. I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I told you last week. I love you, and I know it's taken me a while to say it, but I just wanted to make sure you heard it, that you were ready to hear it." She sighs, "And that I was ready to say it." She squeezes Paige's hand, "Paige, I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I want your crazy ways of protecting me that end up getting us all in trouble. I want your stupid, dumb jokes and the crazy little ways you let me know you love me. I want your kisses and your laugh. I want the way you touch me."
Emily looks at Paige's face, glowing in the blue pool light, her smile growing bigger and bigger with Emily's every word.
"Ali was a lifetime away. I was a different person then. A person that didn't know you. Didn't love you and wasn't loved by you. I've changed so much now, I'm not that girl anymore. I'm this one. This one sitting in front of you holding your hand while you freeze to death by the side of a swimming pool."
They both laugh. Emily stands up, pulling Paige with her, she wraps her arms around her and nuzzles into her neck. She kisses Paige's pulse point and sighs into her,
"I love you so very much. And I promise, I'll never let her hurt you again."
Paige pulls back and Emily sees her face, incredulous, disbelieving, but realization dawning at Emily's every word. Emily grins at her. She brings one hand up to tangle in Paige's hair and pulls her towards her. She stops just as Paige's lips graze hers and whispers,
"Paige? I love you. I love the way you smile and close your eyes before you kiss me, like it's the most amazing thing that's ever going to happen to you."
"It is."
"No one will ever love me like you do, I know that and I'm not going to risk losing you."
Paige can't speak, just nods. Closes her eyes and leans in.