Hold Up

"What the hell was that for?" A dark flush stole across his face as he clutched his cheek protectively. He knew China had different customs than back home, but this was crazy. The girl won the tournament and he ate the prize. If he beat the girl the prize was his. No harm, no problem.

But why the hell had she kissed him?

"Oh no sir! Is very bad. Sir had received 'Kiss of Death'! Now Amazon warrior will hunt to kill until customer is dead." The Jusenkyo guide was very apologetic, but it didn't matter too much. Pops was up and running as soon as the meaning was explained. The panda was on a direct rout to snag his son and get out of town as fast of possible.

For a moment, Ranma would have let him. He was tired of all the crazy things and wanted nothing more than to go home to Japan. As strange as his training went, nothing too terrible had happened until they swam to China. That alone should have warned him. Now he was cursed to be a girl when wet and a psycho Amazon wanted to hunt him. The sooner they left the happier he'd be.

Then he realized what that meant. If he left, she'd follow. He'd be attacked or challenged for the rest of his life. He wouldn't lose to a girl like that, but he could tell by their fight that she had honor. And for some reason, honor would demand she kill Ranma. Even if she always lost, the crazy Amazon wouldn't give up.

Ducking under his dad's reach he extended his arm to clothesline the panda. Making sure the old man wasn't going to jump up immediately, the boy-turned-girl looked back at the guide. "What do ya mean she had to hunt me? We fought, I beat her and I get the food. That was the deal."

Beads of sweat slid down the guide's face as he searched the crowd. "Customer had won, but Amazon law states when defeated by outsider, a kiss is given. Amazon warrior must regain honor."

He scoffed. "That's just stupid. You mean ta tell me she had to kill me, just 'cause I won? Pops kicks my butt all the time, but I never lose the same way twice. I wouldn't be too good if I always won." He crossed his arms and adjusted for his new chest. It wasn't likely the guide would be able to clear this up, but if he acted like he expected him to do so, he might get a few options.

"Precisely. Xain Pu will improve as she strives to regain her honor. It is the reason the law was created." The aged voice came from behind him, far too close for comfort.

"Sure she'll get better, but I ain't gonna lose… and I ain't saying here. I'm gonna be stuck with a crazy gal tryin' to kill me for the rest of my life and she'll never see home again. That's just stupid." The shriveled old woman on a stick looked like a troll, but she spoke Japanese better than the guide. She seemed to know what this was all about as well.

"How can you be sure you'll always win, young one. It may take a few years, but Amazon's have three thousand years of experience and knowledge to help Xain Pu."

Ranma shook his head before the old woman could keep going. "Don't matter. I won real easy today. Even if she fought a couple times today, she wasn't that tired. I'm a little off and didn't break a sweat knocking her off that log. Didn't even touch her right side. In a couple years she'll improve, but so will I. She ain't got a chance."

Ranma let the old woman's gaze pass over her without flinching. There was no way that crazy girl was going to beat him. And that was while he was female. Give him some hot water and any small chance would be crushed. If this lady would figure that out he might get out of this problem.

"You believe your words to be true, but law is law. Any female outsider that defeats an Amazon shall be given the kiss of death. If you were male, you'd get the kiss of marriage and be free to go after siring a few daughters to add to the village's strength. But a female outsider cannot be allowed to live.

It was a good thing the panda was still recovering from the head strike. Nothing could have shocked Ranma more than that old hag's words. Marriage? Daughter! He was 15! No way was he letting that happen. He hadn't even beaten Pops regularly yet.

The hag let him splutter for a bit before chuckling. "Calm down child. The laws were made to strengthen the tribe. If you'll allow me to test your skills, there may be another solution besides death. After all, losing my great-granddaughter on a fruitless chase would hardly be beneficial."

Ranma looked at the old lady and studied the crazy girl's great-grandmother. The old woman really looked like a troll, or a wrinkled monkey. But she balanced on the wooden staff with ease. There were many old masters at the temples and dojos his pop had left Ranma at over the years. Most had beaten him senseless before he learned their style. But he had never met one so… small. She reminded him of those Egyptian mummies he saw in a text book in junior high.

Trying to use his ki-sense gave him nothing. Wait…the old one did have a small ki trace, like what he'd expect from a non-martial artist. But this was tightly controlled. Untrained people had rather loose ki, but the old lady's was compact and perfectly contained in her body… and her staff?

Making a mental note of 'danger', Ranma tried to decide what to do. Pops was recovered and trying to inch his way out of the crowd. Deliberately stomping on the short panda tail brought a satisfying yelp and a stop to the lame escape attempt.

"What do ya mean by test and whatcha mean 'another solution'?" Staring hard at the old woman Ranma hoped it would be as easy as it sounded. Unfortunately, fate didn't like him very much.

"Hohoho. There's hope for you yet girl." Ranma winced but bit his tongue. He'd rather be hunted for the rest of his life than be expected to give them his kids. They didn't know what his male form looked like either…

"I'll give you a chance to take this ribbon from my staff. Whether you succeed or not depends on what options I can give you. What say you child?" The old hag had tied a white ribbon around the middle of her staff. An inch wide with a decent sized bow and four inch lengths he could grab to untie it. If he had been able to catch when the old woman had tied the damn thing he'd be confident of his win. But one minute it had been a plain wooden staff and the next it had a nice white bow on it. Even when stopping Genma from running he should have been able to catch the lady move.

The old hag seemed to know what he was thinking. The smug grin tipped the scale. This was a challenge and Ranma Saotome didn't run away from a challenge.
"You're on granny." There was no wait for a signal or laying out the rules. If he was going to do this, he'd use his own style. Anything Goes. Blink and he was already where the old woman had been standing. Jump and bounce off two villager's heads and he followed the old woman's lighting fast dash for the large log he had just beaten the crazy girl on. A leg sweep and the little troll hopped over and easily stood three feet away with a look on her face that said 'was that all you got?'

Gritting his teeth he dashed again, getting a feel for how fast the lady could go and what kind of tricks she'd pull. The old woman dodged everything he gave and stayed balanced on that stick without leaving the challenge log. Not one to be left behind, Ranma stayed on the log, bouncing off the posts that suspended the thing and easily keeping up with the swaying caused by their movement.

Time lost meaning as he tested the old woman and she upped the anti every time he started figuring her out. Several times he thought he had a corner of the ribbon only to capture air as the lady increased her speed.

Peripherally he was aware of the crowd around him and the hag's occasional insult, but after the first ten minutes he had tuned them out. After all, she was intimately aware of the get-them-angry technique.

He forgot why he was trying to win as he kept his eye on the stupid bow innocently taunting him from its wooden perch. The challenge helped him adjust to his new body far more than the hour chase he had given his father after getting the curse. During one of the small breathers he had unbuttoned his shirt and tied it down tight to keep his breasts from bouncing so much. They kept shifting his balance and he was able to shave a few more seconds off his time once they stopped moving on their own.

It was dark when he collapsed to one knee gasping for breath. Closing his eyes he concentrated on his breathing. His muscles burned from a good work out. The slight trembling in his limbs told how far he had been pushing his limits, but he still had some energy left.

All his tricks had been tried save mouthing off, but experience proved that it never worked on the old masters. In fact, insulting them usually made them reluctant to teach Ranma their school whether he beat them or lost the first challenge.

But this challenge couldn't be lost. Get the ribbon and he could leave without problems. Lose and he'd be on the lookout for a purple-haired Amazon forever more. That was his resolve as his energy failed him. There was no way he wanted to think about the village discovering he was actually a guy.

Just before he was going to launch a new attack the old woman moved. Eyes snapping open in shock he watched her pogo towards him and hop to the log, holding the ribbon adorned staff for the first time since he met her.

"Enough. I have seen your skills and agree with your initial statement. Xain Pu will not defeat you without strictly guided training." Ranma cocked his head, not trusting his voice at the moment. "In the eight hours you have proven not only your skill, but your ability to adapt and improve. Your honor is strong and I doubt my granddaughter will be an even match before a few decades have passed."

A quiet whimper reminded Ranma of the crazy girl that started the whole mess. The purple-haired Amazon looked a little scared. Many of the villagers still crowded around. The Jusenkyo guide slept against a building. There was no sign of Pops, panda form or not. Figures he'd leave Ranma there.

"I still haven't gotten that ribbon." He stood and forcefully stopped the quiet trembling muscles. Glaring at the ribbon still anchored to the elder's staff, he had every intention of capturing it. He just had to wait for granny to get back in the game.

"And you won't get it tonight child. I have played with you long enough. It is late. I offer you a place in my home to sleep before we discuss your options in daylight." He grit his teeth, but knew pushing the issue wouldn't help. The old master's were set in their ways and would only teach at the pace they wanted. There was no doubt that this lady was a master.

"Am I gonna have ta worry about being attacked in the middle of the night?" He asked, tossing his head in the direction of her great-granddaughter.

"No, you have my protection until we have that discussion," the old lady chuckled. When he nodded in silent agreement she continued. "Your panda was taken to the stables when it tried to escape the village. It is rather interesting how well trained in combat it is. Would you like to fetch it before we retire?"

Snorting, Ranma shook his head. "Serves the old man right. As long as he ain't being killed, I'd rather not get yelled at. This is all Pop's fault anyway."

"The panda is your father?" The old woman didn't seem surprised.

"Yeah. We came from Jusenkyo. The guide said you guys might know about a cure." He followed the elder as she jumped off the log and hopped through the thinning crowd.

"I'm afraid we have no cure for your father. There are a few temporary measures that can be taken to keep one form or another for a longer time between changes, but nothing permanent." A long sigh was Ranma's only reply. He didn't want to think anymore. He was going to take any bed or patch of ground they gave him and sleep. He'd find out just how much trouble they were in tomorrow.

~Scene Break~

"Let me get this straight. I join your tribe by becoming a blood sister to Shan— I mean, Xain Pu and the kiss of death is gone. I stay here, learn the laws of the village and get some trainin' and I'll be free ta go; unless a war breaks out. Then an amulet in a bracelet, armlet, necklace or hair thing will tell me ta get back here and I help ya until the war ends. 'Cept ya haven't had a war in nearly a hundred years and don't think I'll have ta worry. No other problems. I don't have ta keep these crazy laws when I'm out of the village or anythin', right?"

"Not unless you are on an official mission from the council. Your father will be kept occupied elsewhere. His view on women shall not be tolerated and will interfere with your training. Nor will I let a young woman be orphaned due to her father's stupidity." He grimaced and wondered if it wouldn't have been better to just let Xain Pu chase him around the world a few times. Every time the elder referred to him as a female he had to bite back the instinctive denial. It would be nearly impossible to last a few days like this. The way Ku Lon was talking, Ranma would be stuck here for months at the very least.

It started with learning that to get out of the kiss he'd have to lose his status as 'outsider female'. Then came the big argument in Chinese between granny and the crazy girl about becoming blood sisters. He only caught one word in twelve, but even without knowing the language he could tell Xain Pu did not like the idea.

As blood sisters he'd be part of Ku Lon's family and the elder's protection. The old woman would allow him to leave without consequences once he had learned Amazon law and helped Xain Pu's fighting potential. He had argued that until the lady had pointed out that Ranma would get training as well, and Xain Pu wasn't the only warrior he could spar with.

That had started an argument regarding kissing anyone that beat him in a spar and diverted to other laws that seemed to come up in a domino effect. They finally agreed that outside the valley Ranma could swear to uphold the honor of an Amazon warrior but not worry about the letter of the law.

Unfortunately he had brought up his pop's ideas on women being weak somewhere in the argument and went on to proclaim 'he ain't marrying any guy or havin' babies.' It seemed his statement was fervent enough that Ku Lon pulled out several facts that did not settle well with the martial artists.

While he was glad the elder thought Genma was an idiot that raised his daughter as if she were his son, it felt too much like something Pops would pull to be comfortable. He would have confessed then and there who he really was if Ku Lon had not spent an hour during breakfast detailing just what Jusenkyo was and how much trouble looking for a cure would be.

Jumping into the spring of drowned boy would only combine the curses. Best case in Genma's panda curse would be getting a male body with fur. Ranma could just see himself as a guy with boobs sticking out of his chest.

According to village lore, Jusenkyo curses were not random. Each curse individual was given a form that showed their true self and/or gave them a way to face or improve their greatest weakness. Genma was lazy and honor-less by Ku Lon's reckoning. A panda showed the world his lazy nature, but a panda was a symbol of honor in China. Jusenkyo was most likely trying to help his father reclaim his honor. Ranma refused to think about why he was cursed to be a girl.

Anyway he looked at it, he was stuck with the curse for a while, but the Amazon village would be the best place to learn more about it. And while he hadn't been impressed with the crazy girl, the old woman sure wasn't weak. If he had to be a girl, he was going to be like that… without the whole troll thing going on. He didn't mind learning from the master even if he had never had a female instructor before. Besides, that ribbon was still tied to the staff and he desperately wanted to get it in a fair battle.

But accepting would mean staying in the village for at least a few months. He'd have to stay in this form and he was already itching to be a guy. It hadn't even been a full day. That didn't even consider the fact he was lying to the elder and such a stain on his honor could not be removed.

But Ku Lon was ready to kill Genma when she learned Ranma was a student of Anything Goes. That burst of angry ki had been small but filled with rage. Ranma knew he and his father would have no chance against the old woman and didn't like the odds if he told her he was a guy after all this time.

Rubbing his head, he nodded in acknowledgment to Ku Lon's offer to let him think about it until dinner. Both Amazons left him alone in the kitchen. Creating and discarding idea after idea, the teenager watched Xain Pu's father bustle about the room. Breakfast had been excellent, but he had not been happy to that men were treated as badly as his pops ideas about girls. Ku Lee didn't seem to mind.

Propping his head up on one hand, he tried to picture if he had really been born a girl. Pops really would have treated him like a guy. He hadn't even realized there was a difference until Genma was forced to enroll Ranma in junior high.

The all boys' school had been an eye opener in a lot of ways. Most of the guys had been friendly enough until they realized he had no idea what TV shows they were talking about, had no interest in girls and didn't know the first thing about most of the sports. Really, if it hadn't been for the lost boy, Ranma would have gone crazy.

Even if he had been female, Genma probably would have put him at the all boys' school. He shook his head in amusement, thinking of the shock that would have come learning he was actually a she. The humor faded when he realized it would have been similar to the shock of breathing air and realizing he had breasts and was missing something rather important after a single dip in a shallow pond. Shuddering, he put his head on the table and tried to think of something else.

"Can't be that bad." Ku Lee had set a glass of water next to his elbow. He hadn't realized the man spoke Japanese. Hoping a male perspective could help him out, he tried to think of a way to ask without involving Jusenkyo.

"Hey. If one day ya woke up and were a girl instead of a guy, how'd you deal with it?" To give the man some credit, he stopped his lunch clean-up and thought about it for a moment. Then he shrugged and went on.

"Assuming there was no way to correct it, I'd learn to live with it. I'm sure it would be difficult, but if I tried to pretend differently I'd be living a lie." That hit a little to close to home for comfort. "The village would dislike the woman I'd be, but even as female, I doubt I could change who I was. You are lucky you don't have that problem."

He sighed as the advice fell short of what he was hoping for. "What if ya could fix it, or change back and forth…" He mumbled into his sleeve. The man paused again and gave him a long look that made Ranma wince, but didn't drop his gaze. If the man heard his comment, then he might as well get something out of it. Whatever Xain Pu's father found, the man went right back to cleaning with a firm nod of his head.

"If I could fix it, I would. Male is how I was born, and how I have lived for very long time. But if I went back and forth, I'd still learn. Woman is different than man. While being male, I could live as I have always done. But while female, I would need to learn how I am woman." There was silence as Ranma considered the man's answer.

"You will learn, Jusenkyo is a sacred place to our village. When a law is broken, but for good cause - the warrior is taken to Jusenkyo to fight their clan elder. The pool they fall in is chosen by gods as their punishment. If there is no guilt, gods will allow them to find spring of drowned girl. It has only happened twice in our history." Ku Lee's impromptu speech was interesting, but didn't help him any.

"Mostly, men are not warriors if born in village. Many outsider men leave after giving children to their married clan. Very few will stay and with our village history, life is hard if they are honorable. Many women have been raised learning that men are weak - they do not fight. When finding man that can fight, they do not change their thoughts." The man turned to face Ranma again. The martial artist could not pull away from the solemn gaze.

"It is thought that if man was meant to fight, he would be born woman," the man explained. "But there is legend that there is special man that is born to be warrior. If such man exists, he will be found by gods and blessed by Jusenkyo." Ku Lee turned away and set his cleaning towel on the wall rack on his way out the room. The man gave one last piece of advice before leaving. "Jusenkyo gives blessings when there is no guilt, but not all think it is at first."

Author's Note: I'm not a fan of Ranma 1/2 but the characters are amazing. I don't know if I'll continue it as I'd have to deal with all the perverted martial arts of the Anything Goes Grandmaster if I did a full series. I still like this idea and have a general outline of how I'd have time in the Amazon village go. No ideas beyond that and I don't plan on continuing without good motivation. Other fics of mine have been asked for more than this dabble. I'll mark it as complete for now.