Belong
Summary: Santana has made a series of bad decisions, but the one she regretted the most was the one that resulted in her being kicked out of Glee Club. Spoilers for 3x01, Purple Piano Project.
A/N: Santana's storyline in Purple Piano Project broke my heart. I had to write, I had to fix this. Thank God for Fannon. As always, everything I write is dedicated to my amazing girlfriend. I hope you guys enjoy! Also, Brittany is quoting lyrics from "Ours" by Taylor Swift.
Every step Santana took towards the door to the Choir room made her feet feel like lead. She could feel the burning tears welling up in the corner of her eyes, but she refused to let them see her cry. She was Santana Freaking Lopez. She wasn't about to let them see how much this affected her. She was going to hold her head up high, shroud herself in her protective Bitch shield, and walk out of there with dignity and grace. She wasn't going to let them see how much every step away from them hurt her. She wasn't going to let them see how it made her heart ache, walking away from the only place she had ever belonged.
She heard the echoing thump of the heavy door closing behind her, and it suddenly felt like somebody had closed a door on her whole world; her whole life. Suddenly, she felt nothing. Only a few minutes before, her heart and been light and happy. She had been surrounded by her family. By the few people that had given even half a damn about her existence.
Now, she wasn't even sure she had a heart. The place that normally filled with warmth and joy, now felt empty. She knew why, of course. She had left her heart back in the Choir room, sitting next to Brittany. Her Brittany. Santana didn't even want to imagine what Brittany must think of her right now.
A tiny squeak echoed faintly in the empty High School's hallways, as Santana turned the corner. Her vision was getting blurry now, clouded with the stubborn tears she refused to let fall. She stumbled slightly, and blindly pushed open the door to the girl's bathroom.
Within seconds, she was clicking the lock on the largest stall's door. She backed up against the wall of the stall, and slid down the wall, her knees giving out completely. She pulled her knees to her chest, and pressed her face against her knees. Now that she was alone, she couldn't stop the tears from cascading down her cheeks. She couldn't stop the sobs that ripped from her chest.
She was so lost inside her own mind, Mr. Schue's words echoing around and around inside her head. "Don't come back unless you can be as loyal to this club as the people in this room." Since when had any of them been loyal to the club? Ms. Gold Star Berry herself threatened to leave the club every other day. Finn didn't even bat an eye, when it came to dropping the club for Football. Quinn and Lauren had dropped Glee faster than a positive pregnancy test, and Sam hadn't bothered to tell anybody he was leaving. Even Mr. Schue himself had abandoned the club for his short stint in Acafellas, and then again for his dreams of being on Broadway.
Yes, it hadn't been very smart of her to side with Coach Sylvester. Yes, she should have learned her lesson by now, but why was she getting penalized so much harder than any of the others? Everybody had forgiven Rachel and Finn so quickly, for their betrayals against the club. They certainly hadn't been banned.
Just thinking the word made Santana's stomach twist in knots, as a fresh wave of tears washed down her cheeks. Banned. She had been banned. Another sob ripped from her chest when she pictured Brittany in the Glee Club without her. Of course it wouldn't be long before she was back with Artie, spending all that time with him, with Santana out of the picture. She imagined them singing a duet, and felt knots twisting in her stomach so much, she thought she might actually be sick.
Santana was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the bathroom door open, nor the familiar sound of white Nikes squeaking on the tile floor.
Brittany walked along the line of stalls, going instinctively to the last one. She knocked on it softly, ignoring the pangs in her chest at the unmistakable sound of Santana's sobs.
"San? Open the door? It's me."
Santana jumped a little, but quickly got to her feet to open the door.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Glee Club?"
"This is where I'm supposed to be, Sanny."
Santana stifled another sob, and fell into Brittany's arms, her own arms wrapping tightly around Brittany's waist. She pressed her face to Brittany's shoulder, not even caring that she was staining the blond's polyester uniform with tears. She felt Brittany's hand stroking her hair slowly, and felt herself calm slightly at the touch. It was so familiar, so soothing, so...them. The two of them just fit together like that, neither one of them shying away from contact, or spending time together. Neither one hesitated even for a second, when they saw the other in pain. They had been like that since they were little, one always rushing to comfort the other one in pain.
"Do you remember how much we used to hide in here?" Santana heard Brittany ask. "How many classes we'd skip to sit here and talk...and stuff."
Santana coughed back a snicker, images of the stuff they used to get up to in this stall filling her mind. She nodded, and whispered, "Yeah, I do," her voice coming out rough, her throat still thick from the sobs.
"That's how I knew where you would be. I always get confused when I have to think, and with you...I never have to think. I just know." Brittany whispered softly, her fingers still running softly through the brunette's long silky hair.
Santana's heart fluttered slightly at Brittany's words, and she pulled back to look at Brittany. She stared into her sparkling bright blue eyes, and instantly felt calmer. She cleared her throat slightly before replying.
"You are the only thing I ever really know, Britt."
Rather than replying, Brittany sat on the floor next to the place where Santana had been sitting, pressing her back to the wall of the stall. She reached up, and pulled Santana down, to sit between her knees. They always sat like this. Brittany was a little taller than Santana, so when Santana sat with her back to Brittany's chest, Brittany would rest her chin on Santana's shoulder, their faces close together. She wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, holding her close against her.
Brittany was talking to her quietly now, her lips close to Santana's ear.
"Do you remember when I found you in here, after your parents split up, during Freshman year?"
Santana chewed nervously on the inside of her cheek at the memory. She had been a mess. Her parents had told her about it the night before, she had been crying all night long, and was still crying the next morning at school. Butterflies filled her stomach at the memory, why was Britt bringing this up now? She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak.
"Do you remember what I said to you?"
Santana felt her eyes fill with tears again at the memory, and nodded again.
"You said that it didn't matter if they split up...because you would always be my family." she whispered softly, her voice thick again, as a tear slid slowly down her cheek.
"You are where I belong, San. I may not know a lot, but I know that. It doesn't matter if we're in Glee, or Cheerio's, or wherever we go, as long as I go there with you."
Santana felt her heart swell and flutter at Brittany's word's, as she stifled another sob. She turned where she sat, and wrapped her arms tight around Britt.
"It doesn't matter what anybody says, or does, Britt. Nothing will ever break what we have. It's ours. I'm not scared anymore," she whispered softly, her arms tight around Brittany. Her Brittany.
Santana could feel Brittany smiling, and heard her whisper "Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine."
Santana didn't really know what that meant, but got to her feet, and pulled Brittany up with her. She went out to the sinks to clean up her face, and touch up the makeup running down her face.
"We should go home, watch some Sweet Valley High, and get our cuddle on," Brittany said, while she fixed her ponytail. "I know it'll make you feel better."
Santana couldn't stop the smile that broke out on her face, she looked over at Brittany and asked "When did you get so smart?"
Brittany just smiled, and took Santana's hand in her own, and led the way to the bathroom door. Santana went with her, still smiling. Her heart felt light and happy, She heard Brittany hum and whisper "Your hands are tough, but they are where mine belong."
-fin-