Disclaimer: Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz own Once Upon a Time
A/N: This story is darker than my previous stories, but hopefully you guys will like it! Very dramatic, and pretty angsty. Warning: Mentions of rape, miscarriage, and attempted suicide.
It was cold outside, but the blonde couldn't feel it. In fact, she couldn't feel anything. The only thing that kept her grounded was the feel of the smooth wood underneath her hands. Her numb fingers were clenched tightly around the banister-the only barrier between her and her happily ever after. A gust of chilly wind blew long golden locks behind the woman's face, and froze a tear that was trailing down her cheek. Green eyes were raw- they looked haunted and dark shadows resided underneath them- the result of many restless sleepless nights.
Her hands drifted towards her now-flat belly, mourning the loss of life that was once in it just two weeks ago. Long fingers danced up and down the expanse of blue fabric of the magnificent dress she wore, but could care less about. The princess used to love to dress up, but ever since she suffered a miscarriage and lost the most precious thing in her life, she simply did not care anymore. The baby was supposed to bring her happiness. The baby was proof that the result of something so horrendous could turn out to be something so pure.
She swallowed back a cry when she thought of that night, when he had forced himself upon her, taking pleasure in her pain. She had been a virgin, and he stole her innocence, not taking the proper care to show her what it felt like to be loved. When she discovered she was pregnant, it had been her breaking point. She was no more than 18 years old, still a child. But it had forced her to mature quickly and grow up. More tears leaked out, but she hardly felt them. Of course the vile man had been punished-death was the punishment for rape, but instead of making the princess feel sated inside, it left an even deeper void.
Her mother, Snow White, tried to do her very best to comfort her child while her father, James, spent hours yelling himself hoarse at her rapist before finally killing him himself. Snow helped her realize that the baby could bring her happiness, and she had started to rise up out of her depression, finally happy for the first time in months. But then came the miscarriage. There was so much blood, and so much pain, both emotionally and physically. The physical pain she could deal with, but the emotional, she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough.
That led to the cutting-her only escape. She would sneak a kitchen knife up her sleeve after dinner with her parents, fake smiling so she wouldn't worry them, and scurry up to her bedroom. Shutting the door carefully and barring it with her dresser, she would take the sharp utensil and look at her reflection in it, hating what she saw. Then she would roll up her sleeve and dragged the blade carefully across her skin, making the first cut of the night. The pain was delicious. It helped her think clearly, and helped drag her away from the emotional numbness she found herself in.
The blood was beautiful. It trailed down her arms, reaching her fingertips, where it would then drip onto the ground. Of course, the blonde would make sure to clean up any evidence she left. It was crucial that no one found out. She would slip the knife-now free from her blood-back into the kitchen, and slip away back to her bedroom. She could not find the energy to keep moving on, despite her parent's best efforts. She loved them, but she knew that she was too broken to live.
That is where she found herself now-balancing herself on top of the sturdy wood, her dark eyes devouring her kingdom for the last time. She turned around carefully, so she was facing the closed doors to her room. Satisfied that nobody was going to walk in, she took a deep breath and watched as a puff cold air was emitted from her mouth.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But this is my happily ever after."
And then she spread her arms out, closed her eyes, and fell.