Disclaimer: Do I own Stargate SG-? Yes!... No, it's actually owned by Gekko Corporation, Double Secret Productions and MGM. Those lucky bastards. Oh, and I don't own the mysterious voice either. And I got the idea from my friend digigirl0093, who is doing an Inuyasha version of this. Hi if your reading this, digigirl0093!

Author: DragonFire63

Story Category: Stargate SG-1

Story Genre: Humor, Parody

Title: Know Your Stars: SG-1

Timeline: Season 8

Warning: May contain some spoilers, minor ones mind you.

1: separates a chapter from the beginning or ending.

Summary: The mysterious voice from All That has come to make fun of the SG-1 characters! How will they survive?

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Chapter 1: Jack O'Neill

General Jack O'Neill sat on a chair, in a large room, in front of a dimly lit stage. He put his hands in his pockets and started to whistle the tune to 'The Simpsons'(don't own that either).

General Jack O'Neill… he likes to eat dirt…

"What? That's nuts!" Jack shouted angrily.

"Don't let him say that again!" came a scream from the stands.

Jack blinked in confusion and started to whistle again.

General Jack O'Neill… thinks the Goa'uld rock…

"No, I think they rot."

General Jack O'Neill… is Commander of a Squirrel Armada…

"Squirrels? That's new."

General Jack O'Neill… his middle name is Soap…

"Soap? No, my middle name is… hey, what is my middle name?" Jack asked himself, scratching his head.

Your middle name is Soap…

"No, I mean really."

Whatever. General Jack O'Neill… he's in love with Daniel Jackson…

"No, I'm in love with Colonel Carter."

Really?

"Really," Jack answered, nodding his head.

Wow, well, anyways, General Jack O'Neill... thinks Homer Simpson is his brother…

"Uh, no I don't."

Uh, yes you do.

"Don't."

Do.

"Don't."

Do.

"Do not."

Do too.

"Okay, fine, I do."

You do?

"Yeah."

Really?

"No."

Grr…

Jack leaned back in the chair, wearing a large smirk on his face.

Now you know, General Jack O'Neill…

"Oh yeah, and now I know that Homer is my brother."

Shut up.

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A/N: So, was it good? Bad? Tell me in your review. Suggestions for characters in later chapters are also welcome. And if you read digigirl0093 Inuyasha Know Your Stars story, you'll know who was shouting at the voice. :)