Author's Note: I write for fun, not profit. Dick Wolf and NBC own all but the original characters contained in this story. No harm, foul or infringement is intended.

There will be some clinical description of an SVU crime, crime scene and investigation in this story. Nothing terribly graphic, but this one earns its M rating. Also, we're going to be dealing with lesbian relationships and issues of sexual identity quite a bit. If that bothers you, stop now. This is decidedly less fluffy than my previously posted stories.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

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As Olivia Benson stood in the hall shaking the rain off her coat, the young uniformed officer bolted by her looking more than a little green. 'Been there.' Olivia took a deep breath and strode towards the commotion inside the brownstone.

"Benson, Special Victims." Olivia flashed her gold shield at the uniform standing in the doorway of what appeared to be the bedroom. "What have we got?"

The balding veteran shook his head. "Hell if I know what went on in there, detective. It's a freaking blood bath. I ain't never seen anything like it, nearly 30 years walking this beat." He scratched the stubble on his cheek. "Near as we can make out, we've got a female, early to mid-40's...trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey. Sex games gone wrong or I don't know."

"Thanks. I'll have a look. My partner, Stabler, should be here soon. Just tell him where I am, ok?" Olivia smiled and ducked in to the bedroom.

Olivia's eyes went wide at what she saw. The bedroom was set up for a seduction scene. Lights, candles...ok, maybe a little more heavy artillery than most required, but still fairly obvious how things were arranged. Olivia exhaled and rubbed her palms together as her eyes fell on the body. "Christ, Doc. That's a lot of blood. Any ideas for me?"

"Someone wanted this woman to suffer." Dr. Warner was dressed in her medical examiner's jacket and blue pants. She gestured with a gloved hand. "Most of the damage was done pre-mortem. My guess is she bled out eventually, but won't know for sure til I get her on my table." She shook her head. "I'm no shrink, Liv, but whoever did this was beyond rage."

Olivia nodded. "Any ideas on time of death?"

"Well, the body's still warm, rigor just setting in...four hours max. It's hard to tell with the blood loss, body temp would have started dropping sooner than usual." Dr. Warner instructed some members of her team in handling the body while the CSU team took photos and collected evidence around them.

"Ok, aside from the obvious damage, any sign of rape?" Olivia slipped rubber gloves on her hands.

"I'd guess yes, but no fluids present. There's a lot of damage to assess. Given the damage to her breasts and genitals, I'd have to say sexually motivated whether we have rape or not." She grabbed a clipboard and made notes.

"Thanks, Melinda. Keep us posted." Olivia walked over to the body. "She's wearing a ring. Do we have a name and a spouse to contact yet?"

"This place is owned by Councilwoman Martha Talbot. Her lover discovered the body. She was pretty upset. I took her to the kitchen for some air and water." The young female officer she had passed in the hall explained as she walked back in.

"She? Ok. Is she up for making a statement?" Olivia rubbed her forehead. 'Could this get more messed up? A lesbian councilwoman. This has hate crime written all over it.'

"Yeah, detective. Sheis upset, but wants to help." The officer gave her a look.

Olivia raised her palms in apology then jotted some notes on her pad. "Can you take me to her? Sounds like you've already connected with her. Might make her feel better if you're with me."

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Olivia saw the frail looking figure from behind. She was hunched over the kitchen table with a green medical blanket over her shoulders. Long blonde hair flowed over the green blanket and the slight shoulders shuddered with each breath.

"Ms. Cabot? It's Officer Dietz. I have a detective here who needs to ask you a few questions. Would that be ok?" The short yet stocky brunette crossed to stand next to the blonde and placed a hand on her shoulder.

The blonde nodded.

At the sound of the last name, Olivia's head snapped up and her eyes flew open wide. 'Nah. Just a common last name and lots of blondes in the city with a slight build like that.' She scratched her eyebrow with her thumb and grabbed a chair. "Miss, I'm Detective Benson. May I sit?"

The blonde's head drew slowly towards her with eyes closed. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. 'Of course it'd be her. Why wouldn't it be?' "Sure."

"Is there anything else I can get for you, Ms. Cabot? Some tea or..."

"No, thank you, officer." Alex opened her eyes and let them focus on the warm brown eyes of Olivia Benson. She blinked several times. It had been years. "Where shall we start, Detective Benson?"

Olivia drew her hand to her mouth and bit a knuckle in disbelief. "Alex? It's…been a while." Olivia scarcely knew where to begin. She knew Alex Cabot had been Bureau Chief for years now and never sought her out to get reacquainted. The last time that she'd seen her former Assistant District Attorney was in court after she'd helped secure a conviction of the man who'd tried to kill her. She disappeared back in to Witness Protection without another word. Her silence spoke volumes to Olivia.

"I'd say it's good to see you again, detective, but under the circumstances..." Alex swallowed and felt tears threaten her eyes again.

Olivia rubbed her fingers nervously. "Me, too, Alex. Me too. Are you up for a few questions?"

"Yes, sure. Anything I can do." Alex looked at Olivia. It was amazing to her that she still looked very much the same. The hair was a bit longer, she had filled out a bit...but she still had the same eyes, the same warmth about her, even the same damned smile.

"Ok. Can you tell me what happened here?" Olivia got out her pad and pen.

"I, uh, came home late from work and found her like..." Alex's voice broke.

"How were you and Ms. Talbot acquainted?"

Alex took a deep shuddering breath. "We were lovers."

Olivia cursed her eyebrow for rising of it's own accord. "Ah. How long had you been together?"

Alex swallowed and looked heavenward. "Marty and I were celebrating six months tonight." She felt her throat tighten.

"Easy, Alex. It's ok." Olivia reached out and covered one of Alex's trembling hands. "When you left work, you came straight home?"

Alex nodded.

Just then, one of the CSU investigators knocked on the doorframe. "Excuse me?"

"Yes?" Olivia answered her eyes flashing a warning.

"We need to bag Ms. Cabot's clothes. There's blood evidence on them according to EMS. Sorry, ma'am." The young Latino woman stated apologetically.

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair. "Ok. Can you bring her something to change in to?"

Officer Dietz spoke. "I'll go get something. Be right back." She smiled at Alex.

"Alex?" Olivia asked tentatively. "How did you get blood on your clothes?"

Alex closed her eyes and pulled her hand away. "When I came home...and found her...I collapsed on top of her and held her. I know I shouldn't have, but I did." She dropped the blanket and revealed a navy suit with a cream silk blouse covered generously with bloodstains.

"About what time was that?"

"I got home about 8:30pm." Alex looked at the table. "I was supposed to meet her at 7:00pm for dinner. I got held up at the office."

"I'm sorry I have to ask, but can anyone verify that for us?"

"Yes. Most of my staff was with me." Alex still spoke at the table. She knew what question would come next.

"And the bedroom, the candles, the seduction scene...was that for you?" Olivia swallowed hard.

"I believe they were, yes. She said she had something special to share with me. She was ready to take our relationship to the next level."

"So, that set-up was not the norm for you?"

Alex rubbed her forehead. 'How can this be happening? My lover is dead and I'm having a conversation with, of all people, Olivia Benson about my sexual proclivities.' "Not all of it, no."

Olivia nodded slowly as the officer returned with some NYPD sweats for Alex. "Let's get you out of those, shall we?" Olivia held out her hand to Alex. "Which rooms are clear?"

The officer radioed her partner who said the guest bath could be used. CSU wanted her supervised and of course, since Olivia hadn't verified her alibi, she was still a suspect.

"Give me the bag, Ramirez. I'll collect it." Olivia held out her hand for the clothes and bag. "C'mon, Alex."

Alex shivered when the reality hit her that she wasn't going to be allowed to be unsupervised because she was a suspect. "Yes, of course."

Once the women were alone in the guest bathroom, Olivia spoke quietly. "Alex, I'm so sorry about your loss and for this. You know I can't break protocol, though. I have to treat you like suspect or a first year law student would tear our investigation and case apart."

"I know, Liv. Thanks." Alex blushed as she shed her blazer. She knew Liv was just doing her job, but she was about to strip in front of her.

"You know I'd offer to turn my back if I could." Olivia bit her bottom lip and placed the blazer in a bag. "Just take your time and when you're ready hand them to me and I'll bag 'em."

"I know you would. Let's get it over with." Alex bent over and pulled her nylons down. She rolled them off her long pale legs and offered them to Olivia.

"Thanks." Now it was Olivia's turn to blush. She'd once dreamed of Alex undressing in front of her.

Alex reached behind her and unzipped her skirt. It fell to the floor without ceremony and Liv picked it up after Alex stepped out of it.

Olivia's eyes roamed over the now exposed flesh of Alex's legs and the black lace panties at the apex. Olivia cleared her throat. "We don't need your bra or panties, ok?"

Alex nodded and began unbuttoning her silk blouse. There was no hiding the crimson shade she was turning as she pushed the buttons out of the holes. She unbuttoned her cuffs and shrugged out of the blouse delicately. She held it out to Olivia.

Olivia took a few deliberate breaths. Seeing Alex Cabot before her with nothing but black silk and lace covering her was effecting her in ways it shouldn't. Alex was still a suspect and once her alibi cleared, she was a victim of having seen the gruesome death of her lover, her female lover. "There we go. All done." Olivia placed the last article in the bag and handed Alex the sweats.

"Thanks, Liv." Alex took the gray sweats and slipped in to them. They were a bit big.

Olivia smiled. Alex looked cute in the over-sized sweats...like she'd raided her older brother's gym locker. "It's a good look for you."

Alex smiled lightly. "Uh huh. So, what now?"

"Well, it's late and you probably should get some rest. We can finish getting your statement tomorrow." Olivia fumbled with the door.

"Here. Let me. You've got your hands full." Alex opened the door.

Olivia handed the bags to Ramirez. "All bagged and tagged."

"Thank you." The investigator hurried off with the evidence bags.

"Is there somewhere else you can stay tonight?" Olivia asked stuffing her hands in her pockets.

Alex shrugged. "I'll go to a hotel."

Olivia smiled wistfully. That's probably what she'd have to do in similar circumstances. "Ok, I'll take you."

"That's ok...I can..." Alex stopped herself and looked around. "That'd be really nice."

"Let me just check in quick. Be right back." Olivia gave Alex's arm a squeeze.

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Olivia returned with the knowledge that CSU would be there a while still. Her partner, Detective Elliot Stabler, had a family emergency involving his youngest son and would have to pick up with her in the morning.

"You ready to go?" Olivia offered from the kitchen door.

Alex let out a small sigh. "I guess. This was not the evening I had planned."

"Obviously not." Olivia let Alex walk by and followed her out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex snapped.

"That you were prepared for a romantic evening with your girlfriend...not this." Olivia gestured to the people bustling through the brownstone.

"Sure."

They walked in silence to Olivia's sedan. "Alex, look" Olivia said once they were inside, "I don't have a problem with you, or your girlfriend or what you do in your free time. Sex is supposed to be one of the best parts of life, not the worst."

"I know. I'm just not ready to have my sexual proclivities displayed in front of my old squad and plastered across the front page of The Ledger." Alex buried her face in her hands.

"I'm going to talk to the captain in the morning. We'll make sure things stay contained on this case." Olivia tried to reassure.

Alex bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, I know you will. I just...it's so unreal. So overwhelming..." Alex shut her eyes.

"I'm not going to say I understand. My relationship record is about two months. I really am sorry for your loss though. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you." Olivia patted her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Off the record?" Alex looked at Olivia with tears shining in cloudy blue eyes.

Olivia nodded.

"She was the longest for me. I was actually starting to think maybe I'd found one with long term potential." Alex shook her head. "It's selfish, but I think someone up there wants me to be miserable for my whole life. I shouldn't be making this about me."

Olivia pulled in to the parking garage. "Stop it. You're traumatized, sweetheart. It is about you. What you saw, what you're feeling. That's real. And as for having the door slammed on your happiness...we can compare notes on that another time. You're being too hard on yourself." Olivia parked the sedan.

"It's just been a long night." Alex swallowed. "I can take it from here."

"Like hell. I'm going with you." Olivia shook her head slightly.

"You haven't changed a bit." Alex almost chuckled. "Still serving and protecting everyone."

"Damn skippy I am."

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