A/N: I'm still working on Madam President, but this popped into my head and begged to be written. It is very loosely based on spoilers for parts 3 & 4 of Hindsight. Mostly this is just a Shandy moment that I'd like to see happen but probably never will. Angst warning.
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. The title for this story and lyrics in italics are from a song by Keith Urban.
Break On Me by Kate Rosen
Shatter like glass. Come apart in my hands. When your heart needs to break, just break on me.
Four days.
That's how long they'd been working on this case. This wasn't an unusually long time frame except for the fact that these past four days they had been working almost non-stop. The squad had been sent home for only a few hours each night to shower and change since they were rolled out at 1am three nights ago. Andy had only just gotten into bed when he had received the call, having spent most of the evening at Sharon's. They had shared a quiet dinner at home with Rusty before the two of them had retreated to her couch and the kid had excused himself to his room to work on his latest vlog story. He said that he had an idea for a new series, but he was keeping it to himself for now.
Sharon and Andy spent the next few hours talking, watching TV, and sharing a few tender kisses. When it had almost reached midnight, he had reluctantly untangled himself from her embrace and made his way toward her door. Their goodbye kiss had lasted for five full minutes before she had playfully shoved him out into the hall. He remembered walking to his car that night wearing the goofiest grin imaginable.
Andy couldn't believe that had only been three nights ago. It felt like a lifetime had gone by since then.
The stress of working relentlessly to solve these murders and still having so many unanswered questions was getting to all of them, but it was hitting Sharon especially hard. Andy could see it in her eyes; their usual sparkle was clouded with concern. She was so adept at hiding her emotions, but he was getting better at reading her. When she wasn't staring at the murder board until he was sure all the words and images posted there had blended into the tangled mess that this case seemed to be, she was leaning on desks or chairs to take the strain off of her back. Her feet must be killing her in those heels, he thought. A few times today, he had caught her with her eyes closed, rolling her shoulders or rubbing on the back of her neck to ease the knot that must be forming there. While in her office earlier, when she had thought no one was looking, he had spotted her taking off her glasses and resting her head in her hands.
The case may belong to the Major Crimes Division, but as the commanding officer, Sharon bore the responsibility for their success or failure in finding who was responsible for these terrible murders on her shoulders, and he could see her slowly crumbling beneath its weight. He was afraid she was about to break.
It was taking everything in him to ignore his gut instinct, which was to go to her, wrap her in his arms, and ask her how she was holding up. Even though they had spent the better part of the last 96 hours together, he felt disconnected from her emotionally. Keeping their professional and personal lives separate was a constant work in progress, and although they were getting better at juggling everything, sometimes, especially on days like today, he thought that it might be better to throw the entire arrangement out the window.
A few hours ago, they had brought in Mark Hickman, officially under arrest this time for obstruction of justice. With the discovery of three new victims, including an innocent seven-year-old Sasha Williams who had been caught in the crossfire, Hickman had been on the scene before anyone else had arrived, interviewing witnesses and tampering with evidence.
Considering her options carefully, Sharon had chosen Julio to join her in the interview room with Hickman. As ironic as it was to consider, he had been the one who had been doing the best job of any of them at controlling his emotions around the former member of the LAPD.
The rest of the squad was watching the interview from the electronics room. Buzz was the only one seated, needing to be able to maintain the equipment, while Amy, Stephanie, and the three lieutenants stood in the background, their eyes fixed on the monitors.
They hadn't been able to glean much useful information from Hickman so far. The former officer seemed more interested in insulting everyone and pointing out what a lousy job he thought they were doing. Mostly he was just blowing hot air, causing everyone to merely roll their eyes at his absurdity, but the interview suddenly took a turn for the ugly.
Hickman leaned forward on the table slightly, locking eyes with Sharon. "Maybe if you weren't so busy screwing one of your lieutenants; you'd be able to see the case more clearly, Captain." His voice was dripping with contempt as he mockingly used her rank to address her. As if a realization had suddenly hit him, he leaned back in his chair. With his lips curling into a devious smile, he continued, "Is that how you got this job? How many officers did you have to sleep with to get here or was it just Will Pope? We all know how he likes to appoint his favorite bimbos to lead Major Crimes."
Julio stood very slowly, his eyes never leaving the former officer's as he spoke in a low, measured voice, "You better shut your fucking mouth, Hickman, before I shut it for you."
"Julio," Sharon warned, placing a gentle hand on her detective's arm. "Please."
In the electronics room, Provenza had to stand in front of the door to keep Mike and Andy from charging out in defense of their Captain.
"Beating that asshole to a pulp may feel good, but it won't help solve anything," the senior lieutenant said in a warning voice.
Sharon rose then to stand beside Julio, looking to be the picture of poise, but Andy noticed her hands shaking slightly before she tucked them beneath folded arms across her chest. The interview room was silent for a few agonizing moments as the two officers stared down at a smug Hickman.
Turning to face Julio, Sharon said in a conversational tone, "Maybe spending a night in jail will help to make our former colleague here more cooperative."
Julio nodded in reply, but when he reached to remove his cuffs from his belt, she shook her head. Walking toward the door, she opened it, and motioned for the two uniformed officers that were standing in the hall to come inside the room.
"Would you gentlemen escort Mr. Hickman to lockup for the evening?" Sharon asked.
After cuffing him and pulling him to his feet, the two officers walked Hickman toward the door. As he passed Sharon, he whispered, "It's your fault she's dead, you know, little Sasha Williams. She didn't have to die if you would have listened to me in the first place."
Andy couldn't see her reaction, because her back was to the monitors, but he did notice Sharon shudder as Hickman was escorted out.
When they saw her finally exit the interview room, the rest of the squad quickly filed out of electronics to join their captain in the murder room. They rallied around her silently, close enough to let her know they were behind her, while still far enough away to give her personal space. Andy was the exception. He moved to stand right beside her, just short of touching his shoulder to hers.
Sharon's voice was soft when she finally spoke. "I think." She paused to swallow before continuing. "I think it would be best if we all headed home. Some things may become clearer after a decent night's rest. Thank you, everyone. Excuse me."
Her voice cracked as the last words left her lips, and she turned to stride toward her office, the only sound in the room being her heels clicking softly against the tile. After she shut her door, she abruptly closed both sets of blinds.
Andy looked at his partner before glancing back at Sharon's door. He was feeling torn between running to her immediately and giving her some time alone first. Provenza gave a subtle nod in the direction of the captain's office, and that was all the coaxing that Andy needed to begin heading in that direction. As he did, he overheard the senior lieutenant say to the rest of the squad, "You heard the captain. Go home. Get some sleep. We'll see you in the morning."
Andy pushed Sharon's office door open and saw that her back was turned. Her blazer had been hastily thrown over one of the chairs and she was standing completely still except for the fingers of her left hand which were tapping nervously on the edge of her desk. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could make a sound, she suddenly raised her hand and violently shoved the stack of papers that were neatly piled on the corner of her desk. They scattered everywhere, and a few floated gently, seemingly suspended in space, before falling to the ground. She turned then to lean over and brace herself against her desk with both arms, when she spotted Andy out of the corner of her eye. With a sharp intake of breath, she straightened and brought a hand to her chest in surprise.
"Andy," she breathed, and it was as if the dam that had been holding back her emotions suddenly burst as her body began to shake uncontrollably and her eyes flooded with tears.
Pushing the door shut behind him, Andy quickly closed the short distance between them and wrapped her in his arms. When he felt her knees begin to buckle beneath her, he directed them toward the green chair against the wall and pulled her onto his lap. Sharon let her shoes fall to the ground as she brought her feet up, rested her head on his chest, and clung to his shirt as sobs racked her body. She had never felt small or fragile to him until this very moment, and although his heart ached to see her in such pain, he had never felt more in love with this strong, beautiful woman who trusted him enough to hold her together as she broke into a thousand pieces.
~Fin