On the Brink of Something Special
Usually Rachel likes people looking at her, she's meant to be a star after all, but never before has she found attention so suffocating.
Jesse is sitting across the room, watching her with a lascivious look in his eye. Finn keeps staring at her; she sees him out of the corner of her eye, but he looks away from her every time she turns in his direction. And Quinn as glaring at her maliciously, which is nothing new in itself, but she has to wonder what she's done now. Honestly, it's one step forward and ten steps back with that girl; just when she thinks that they're on their way to becoming friends, Quinn finds something new to hate her for. She's seriously starting to think that the poor thing is manic-depressive.
The rest of the glee club is gathered around the piano, oblivious to the tension, and talking excitedly about Nationals. She'd love to join in on the gaiety, but it feels as if there's ice in the pit of her stomach, so she fakes a small smile as Mercedes and Kurt laugh out loud and exchange a limp wristed high five.
They're putting the finishing touches on their first original song, a group number that they're calling "Light Up the World". Truthfully it's a little more teenybopper and clichéd than she'd like, but they won Regionals with the similar "Loser Like Me", so she doesn't protest too much. Also she's sick of hearing Jesse agree with every word coming out of her mouth.
She doesn't know if what happened in the auditorium means that they're back together or not. She doesn't even know if that's what she wants. She's always so sure of herself, and she hates how uncertainty has enveloped her life. But this time it's different; she knows what she's giving up this time by falling for Jesse.
She knows what it feels like to be Finn Hudson's girlfriend now, to really be his girlfriend, and he's not so easy to get over. She knows who Jesse St. James is now. When it came between her and another National Championship, he picked the trophy. But now that he's lost it all, he's wants her back. This time, it's him who is nothing without her. She's not stupid; she knows that's the way it works.
How is this even fair? She does things right, by the book; well, except for the time she cheated on her boyfriend… and sent a foreign exchange student to a crack house… and threw a duet competition so that Quinn and Sam would win… but other than that, she is a really, really good person. So why does her life have to be so difficult?
"Great job, guys!" Mr. Schuester calls over them, clapping his hands together to get their attention. "We'll work on the finishing touches tomorrow. I want to have 'Light Up the World' done by this weekend so that we can focus on our next big hit."
There are cries of delight and laughter all around, everyone for once working towards a shared goal with enthusiasm.
"Um, Mr. Schue?" Finn asks, tentatively raising his hand.
"Yeah, Finn, what's up?"
"I was thinking about working on a song myself, if that's alright."
"Wait a minute," Santana cuts in. Rachel rolls her eye; she knew it was just a matter of time before the peace was shattered. "You know how to write?"
"Don't start," Mr. Schuester warns.
"Really, though," Sam grumbles, "you're the popular star quarterback, what do you have to write about?"
Rachel takes in Finn's sullen face and realizes something isn't right. She knows that having Jesse around has served quite the blow to his self-esteem and he needs to feel like a leader right now. He is a leader, and he's smarter and more talented than he thinks he is.
She turns to the group and crosses her arms. "I think Finn deserves a chance to show us what he can do. He is our co-captain, after all."
"Um, Rachel, are you sure that's wise?" Jesse chimes in, finally disagreeing with her. "You're trying to win Nationals, to beat Vocal Adrenaline, do you really think Finn really has the depth and introspective to write a song that the judges will admire, much less remember?"
"Yes, I think he does," she replies defiantly.
Mr. Schuester nods his agreement. "Rachel's right. This group is about giving everyone a chance to express themselves."
He dismisses them shortly after that, and Rachel ducks out of the choir room before Jesse can approach her. She hurries after Finn's retreating form.
"Finn," she calls, grabbing his arm, and he spins around in surprise. "Are you alright? Things seem a little tense between you and Quinn."
His face goes red and he shrugs. "It's nothing to worry about."
She nibbles her lip and looks up into his face. There's definitely something wrong, but she just can't put her finger on it. She'll do anything to get that look off of his face.
"I can't wait to hear your song," she says. "I'm sure it'll be brilliant. New York good even."
He smiles. "Maybe. I'm aiming a little higher, though."
She squints up at him curiously.
"I'm going for Rachel Berry good."
She can't help the soft giggle that escapes her throat. "There's no doubt in my mind that it will be."
They stand there for a moment, just Rachel and Finn, and for a moment things feel normal again.
"Rachel," she hears Jesse shout from down the hallway and she winces inwardly. He walks up to them and ignores Finn completely. "Would you like me to give you home? It will give us a chance to discuss the performance."
"I –" she begins, looking back at Finn sadly.
"It's cool, Rachel. I'll see you tomorrow."
She can't read Finn's face as he turns and walks down the hallway, but she realizes that the ice in the pit of her stomach is thawing. They're all on the brink of something huge, she can feel it, but she doesn't know where it's all leading. She does know, though, that it's going to be something special.
Author's Note: Just a short little nugget that wouldn't go away.
Disclaimer: Glee is the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. I'm just manipulating it for my own nefarious (and strictly nonprofit) purposes.