Notes: There are a few of my personal beliefs/theories that play a part in the formation and organization of this fanfiction. They are:
1) Kaoru's feelings for Hikaru are purely brotherly love. Kaoru's so upset and worried over Hikaru leaving him for Haruhi because Kaoru just doesn't want to be alone and separated from his twin, not that he has romantic feelings for him.
2) Tamaki is bisexual.
Enjoy.
Cherry
Kaoru watched silently as his brother walked off with Haruhi. He had said yes to their going on a date, but now he was regretting it. Kaoru was infantile, he admitted it; he desperately clung to his brother for reassurance that they would always be together whenever he could. Even more so now, as Hikaru lead Haruhi towards the Hitachiin car – their car, Hikaru and Kaoru's car – Kaoru wanted to dash forward and fling himself into Hikaru's arms once more.
He didn't want to let him go, but knew he had to. Kaoru was the mature one; he had to overcome this infantile fear of being alone, especially when he really had all these friends around him, and let Hikaru head towards his own destiny.
"Kaoru!"
If only that was Hikaru's voice calling him and not the Lord's.
Kaoru turned around from staring at Hikaru's departing figure to see Tamaki walking towards him at a brisk pace, as if Kaoru was going somewhere. When Kaoru didn't speak by the time Tamaki reached him, the blond brought up the question first.
"Are you busy?" He cocked his head to the side in that oh-so-playful manner.
Kaoru snorted. This was not the best time to get him annoyed. "Lord, Hikaru's not here. How could I be busy?" he countered, though the spiteful tone did not have the desired effect.
"Good," Tamaki replied instead. "Then do you want hang out with me?" He figured the twins were a lot less dangerous when they were apart.
Kaoru blinked. "What about Kyouya-senpai?"
"He said Fuyumi had something planned for the family." Tamaki turned the corners of his lips downward in an overdramatic frown, showing how much he really wanted to be with Kyouya. But he was a lonely young man, always wanting to be surrounded by friends, and so Kaoru would do.
Kaoru was lonely too, of course, though Tamaki had no way of knowing how desolate he was. This was the first step towards making Kaoru accept the offer. The second followed:
"…besides, it's Valentine's Day. No one should be alone on Valentine's Day." The eccentric blond had been rambling, most of which Kaoru neglected to pay attention to, but these words caught his attention. "Wouldn't you agree, Kaoru?" The redhead nodded. He didn't really care for the holiday either way, but he didn't want to send the Lord into a long monologue about the virtues of being with someone on such a "special" day. In Kaoru's mind, any day was special so long as he had Hikaru with him.
"I thought so! Who wouldn't want to spend time with their friends on such a special day?" Tamaki continued, smiling brightly. "Come on, Kaoru – I know this great French commoner's restaurant." Taking Kaoru's hand in his own, he began dragging him off in the direction of his Mercedes Benz. The solitary twin didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.
---
Some amount of time and what seemed like thousands of Tamaki-sprung words later, the two were sitting at a table in the aforementioned bistro. Kaoru remained silent for the most part, throwing in a couple of nods and "I see"s periodically, as Tamaki rambled on about Haruhi and Kyouya and Antoinette and the Host Club's next event, which thus led back to Haruhi and Kyouya; Kyouya, who planned it, and Haruhi, who would look dazzling in the dress Tamaki imagined for her.
"Lord, doesn't it bother you that Haruhi's with Hikaru?" Kaoru spoke up. Returning from his Inner Mind Theater, Tamaki turned to him in surprise.
"Of course it does," he answered. He then averted his eyes, into which sadness amassed. "It hurts. But since Haruhi chose to go herself, it means that she wanted to, and it'll just upset her if I try to stop them. My daughter deserves to be happy." He smiled then; a sad smile. "If Hikaru can make her happy, then I should try to be happy for her, too."
Kaoru thought, and realized that this situation wasn't all that different from his own. He wanted to be with Hikaru, just as Tamaki undoubtedly wanted to be with Haruhi (though not for the same reasons, perhaps); but since Hikaru was happy with Haruhi, shouldn't he try to be happy for Hikaru? Yes, Kaoru had been trying to convince himself of this ever since he saw how much his twin cared for the girl, though he was unable to express these feelings. It was strange to see the normally-exuberant King of the Host Club considering the situation so maturely. Strange, but admirable. This man had been through so much, and still looked on the bright side of things.
Kaoru found himself returning the smile.
"Besides"—there was that word again, besides – the word that turned the circumstances upside down into something positive—"it's nice to be able to spend time alone with you, too," Tamaki said. He smiled again, though this time the smile was brighter.
"Why do you say that?"
"Don't you enjoy hanging out with friends?" The intrigued, interested, confused expression almost made Kaoru regret his doubtful words. Almost. He wanted to laugh, but couldn't find the heart to.
"You forget, Lord, that Hikaru and I don't really have friends outside the Host Club," he explained, absentmindedly stirring the food around on his plate with his fork. "It's hard for us to feel close to people."
"Do you feel close to me?"
Kaoru stopped at the question he certainly hadn't been expecting. At this moment, when they sat across from each other in the comfort of a commoner restaurant, sharing pleasant or meaningful words…yes, he felt quite close to Tamaki. Kaoru was grateful for the effort Tamaki made in widening their small world. In fact, Tamaki was the first person they had really become close to – if they were "close" to anyone other than each other, even now.
But how to voice these thoughts so that the idiot president understood and appreciated their meaning?
"I guess so…" Kaoru decided, though his tone was clearly unsure. Nevertheless, Tamaki seemed satisfied with that answer. He turned the corners of his lips upward in a mix between a grin and genuine smile. Either way it was blindingly bright.
"Good! We're family, after all – we should feel close to each other."
Family, right. That is, until the fantasy subsides… With every cheerfully-uttered word of the blond teen, Kaoru found his own smile becoming sadder and sadder. He drowned out the drabbling yet melodious voice, not noticing that it had stopped until Tamaki posed another question.
"Kaoru…are you okay?" Kaoru blinked, realizing that he had been spacing out and needlessly upsetting the other – He worried about me? Kaoru thought – and now Tamaki was returning the blinking stare.
"I'm fine," Kaoru replied at last, waving his hands in the air offhandedly. This time, unfortunately, Tamaki was not satisfied with the answer.
"You look…sad." Kaoru could've sworn he heard Tamaki's own sadness in his voice, that for once the boy seriously considered these things and sympathized. Kaoru nearly gasped when the blonde reached out and clasped his hand, squeezing it in comfort, but had enough self-control to retain the breath. He did not, however, have enough self-control to fight back the tears that threatened to pour from his eyes.
--Why? Because it dawned on him, in the form of an emotional epiphany, that no one had asked about his wellbeing in such a long time; that he had been looking for this care (or at least the appearance thereof) from another in this time, and had yet to find it until now.
"Idiot," Kaoru mumbled in insult, lowering his head into his free hand to cover the now-free-spurting tears. He squeezed Tamaki's hand so tight that he could practically feel the blonde wince, for Kaoru's fingernails must have been digging into his skin.
"Kaoru, please – "
"Idiot," Kaoru pressed, choking down sobs. "I hate you, Suoh Tamaki! Why'd you have to create this fairytale family just to have it fall apart?" We were fine before you. But now that we know what happiness is…
There passed a long time in which no one did anything, no one said anything, and no one moved. Kaoru berated himself for acting so immature and impolite and loud in a public place – he had tried to quiet himself, but was too angry – as he could feel onlookers' gazes burning into his back. He just wanted to leave this place, and never see the stupid Lord again.
Look what he did.
Then, Tamaki spoke, and Kaoru couldn't help but find the words comforting, as much as he wanted them to sting.
"If it falls apart, then we'll just make something new out of it. Things fall apart, but things can be built, too, if you try." But Kaoru didn't want to try. He just wanted things to be like they were before in their (his and Hikaru's, of course) perfect, unadulterated little world. "Don't give up so soon. It hasn't fallen apart yet. There's still time. Do your best to get what you want while you can." Kaoru hated how the other was practically ordering him around, even though Tamaki was his senior. At the same time, it amazed Kaoru to hear such inspirationally serious words coming from the silly blonde's mouth. He was, of course, left unaware of the similarities between these words and the ones uttered to Kyouya years ago.
Gradually, the tears faded; Kaoru regained control of himself and his emotions – too much like Hikaru he was acting now, but then again it just showed how similar they were as twins. He released his hand from Tamaki's grasp, and was subsequently hit with an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach for inexplicable reasons. Kaoru brought this hand to his face to wipe away the remaining tears, but Tamaki was somehow quicker. His light fingers brushed against Kaoru's skin, frozen at the touch. The redhead opened his mouth to protest, but that smile on Tamaki's face left him speechless as the blonde flicked the last salty drop from his cheek.
If everybody hadn't been watching them before, they were certainly doing so now. It was just like Tamaki to either be oblivious to or unconcerned with it (the other hosts could never really tell which). He placed a finger under Kaoru's chin to gently tilt the youth-tinted head upwards so that Kaoru was forced to look his friend in the eye.
"Cheer up, okay? You look much cuter when you smile."
Kaoru couldn't stop the blush from streaking across his face. The situation was becoming more and more awkward by the minute. He noticed the use of comparative form of "cute," thereby implying that Tamaki thought Kaoru cute even when he didn't smile. This was just like all those moments of brotherly love at the Host Club with Hikaru, except for the current bubbling feeling in the pit of Kaoru's stomach. Staring into Hikaru's eyes, he was always sure that his brother wasn't really about to kiss him, but now, looking into the gleam of Tamaki's, Kaoru got the apprehensive feeling that the Lord might do just that.
It was a strange mix of hate and happiness when he actually did, the sugar that had once decorated the rim of Tamaki's lemonade glass now dancing on his lips and thus finding their way into Kaoru's mouth.
Lips the color of valentines tasted like cherries.
