Disclaimer: I own squat.

This story is all from Katara's POV except for one section that is indicated.

A/N: A HUGE thank you to PeanutButter123 for being the Beta for this!

We chose this together. Together. That's what I told myself to numb the pain. That it was the last thing that only you and I did, together.

We chose this. Was the mantra that echoed through my mind…and my heart as I walked along side my father down the aisle, in your mother's garden that we had made our own.

We chose this. And you don't even have the courage to look at me in the eyes as you stand there at the alter. Coward. Father squeezed my arm that was hooked in the crook of his. It was only then that I noticed my hands were in fists around his robe and my dress. Breathing deeply I released my grip.

I don't want to look at you. I don't want to see your face when the horns and drums start their rhythm. Why Tui can I not look away?

You were beautiful standing there. You will always be beautiful to me. They saw the Fire Lord. I saw my heart.

Father and I finally reached our place. Uncle came up and gave me a hug. His smile was one of joy but all I saw was the sadness in his eyes as he squeezed my shoulders. I smiled in return. No words were needed. For all he saw was the shattered pieces of my soul left behind. No one knew the wiser. I looked like I was blissfully happy. But those who knew me…knew us saw the truth.

We, your family sat in the front row. I settled in between Toph and Suki. We didn't even look at one another. Both of them took each of my hands in their own as we sat there under the shade of our tree. All that was left to do was wait.

I had to remind myself to breathe. In out. In out. I closed my eyes and there we were.

I was sitting against its trunk with my legs stretched out staring passed the turtle duck pond. My red and pink ombre dress spread across the spring grass. I heard footsteps on the stone path. I knew it was you before I looked up. And when I did the smiling man before me stole the breath from my chest. You tucked a fire lily behind my ear, as I leaned into your hand that was holding my cheek. It was these thoughtful gestures that always left me in awe of the man that I was the only one fortunate enough to see.

I wanted to be forever irrevocably yours and only yours in every way. You gave all of yourself so completely, so freely to me, with no expectations or demands. I was the guardian of the most precious gift, your heart. There would be times when I would ask myself if I was truly worthy of such a treasure. Because that is what you were to me.

You sighed as you proceeded to take off your boots and shrugged out of that heavy crimson robe you had to wear to counsel meetings. You always did. By taking that robe off you were free to be just a man in that moment, not the leader of your nation. How I wish I could hear that sound again.

I opened my eyes right as the horn blew. You looked up. But it was my eyes that yours met first. Not the statue of a woman being brought to stand beside you. For a fleeting moment I felt like I won a small victory. As to what, I don't know. The only prize I was given was the look in your eyes. For they were the same as mine. Both dulling permanently. Take it back, I don't want it. Then the unbearable pain crashed over me. Again. No. We chose this. You don't get to look like me. Your life was moving forward while I was just passing through mine.

When your gaze changed to the pale, ink black hair woman walking to stand where we planned I would be, my hands started to tremble. Sukki rubbed the top of my hand while Toph tightened her grip on the other and leaned her head on my shoulder. They were my only life lines.

I closed my eyes again.

You had just tossed your formal robe on the grass like it was nothing. You sat next to me and laid your head in my lap. I looked down. Our eyes gazed into each other's souls. In that brief perfect speck of infinity we said everything we needed to in utter silence. You took my hand and kissed my palm. I felt the flush rising in my cheeks, just like every other time our bodies touched.

I placed my lips to your forehead before I made work of removing your crown and undoing your topknot. I felt your gaze as I ran my fingers through your hair. I prayed that we could stay in that moment forever.

"Agni, Katara you are beautiful" you whispered to me.

"I love you" was my reply.

If those were the only words I could say for the rest of my days, I would ardently say them with each breath I breathed, as long as I was looking at you, when they left my lips. That was the last time I was in this place, our place. It became our oasis from our duties, from your counsel, nobles and the world. It was just us, Zuko the man I loved for everything that you are, and me, Katara just the woman who held your heart.

I will never set foot here again. Ever. In this life or the next, Spirits be damned, yelled the voice on my head.

I couldn't bear to watch the ceremony, I wished I was Toph. I wanted to scream when I heard the Fire Sage begin your wedding ceremony… and my last rights. I felt like I was watching my own funeral. I shut the outside world around me out. I concentrated on the sound of my heart instead. Thump. Thump-thump...thump… ….Thump. Over and over.

The shout of the sage brought me out of my escape. "All hail Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Mai".

I lost a beat in the rhythm of heart that day, it never beat the same again. From the corner of my eye I saw Toph look up at me. I knew she felt it too.

Our family, Sokka, Suki, Toph, Aang, Uncle and my father, were the only ones who saw my unshed tears. I was not about to let those spiteful nobles take anything else from me. Not ever.

I glared out beyond who was in front of me. I felt your gaze bearing down on me. I refused to meet those deep amber eyes that haunted me every night since I left a year ago.

Our family with the exception of Uncle were the last to leave the garden before we were ushered to the ballroom for yours and Mai's wedding celebration.

I stood straight. I held my head high. I won't let them break me…at least in front of them. Deep down I already knew I was broken. I knew that I would never be whole again.

Dad walked with Aang. Sokka escorted Suki. Toph and I enter locked arms. It felt like a death march.

As we marched I glanced at the corridor that lead to the Royal Family Wing. I closed my eyes letting Toph guide me with the others.

We fought the last time I was there in your rooms. We were screaming. Not at each other, but more out of pure anguish.

"I don't give a damn Katara. I want you! I want you to be at my side. I want to be at yours! They cannot tell me who to marry!"

"Well it sure as hell seems like they just did Zuko!"

"I don't care!"

If we weren't screaming I know we would have been sobbing.

"You need them. I know it. You know it. Fuck they even know it! Whether we like or not. You heard them they will not support our union. We don't have a choice!"

"I love you Katara. I want you to be my wife. I want to watch your belly grow with our children. I want you!"

That's when I lost it. I fell to the floor tears raining from my eyes. You rushed to my side engulfing me in your embrace, you too had salty water streaming down your beautiful face. You placed soft kisses on my head.

"Tara, please. Please don't cry. I will find a way. We will find a way. I love you. Only you. You are my everything. Please. Shh...shh everything will work out."

Between sobs and gasps of air, "I want that more than anything I have ever wanted before. I dreamed of falling asleep in your arms and waking to your warmth until my last breath. I want you to be the father of my children. I don't want to leave, but..."

"NO!"

"Would you be able to bare watching my betrothed move in here? Listen to the gossip? See my wedding and future with another man all planned out before you? Could you do it? Could you?! Well I can't and I won't! It's best that I leave on the next ship to, to hell I don't care as long as I am not here!"

"So that's it you are giving up? On us?"

"Zuko we have tried for years to get them to accept. Five long wonderful years that I have been blessed to share with you. You cannot ask me to stay here. It will kill me."

"I know. I know. I…I…Uncle we can send for Uncle!"

"He's tried!"

"But things are different! The world is different. My people love you so they will accept us!"

It tore me apart to vanquish any hope that you were fighting for.

"I can't stay here. Its' more than I can take."

"Please give me a year to get out of this!"

"No." I said flatly. By the look on your face you were quite taken back. So was I. I was already starting to harden. I knew that somethings would take more than six years to fix when it took a hundred to end a meaningless war.

"No?...you can't mean that?!"

"It's because I love you with all that I am that I have to leave."

I slipped out of your chambers. Out of your arms. Out of your reach and away from the sound of your heart blasting into oblivion.

"I'm leaving tonight" I said to myself.

I locked my chamber doors and gathered what I needed. I left before the sun rose above the horizon. I couldn't face you. I was a coward.

I pulled the hood of my cloak over my head as I began to pace down the on the outer side of the palace wall hiding among the shadows.

"KATAAARRRRAAAAAA!"

I knew you found the letter on my pillow, on my still made bed. My characters were sloppy from my shaking limbs and my tears stained the parchment.

Fire Lord Zuko,

Please accept this as my formal resignation of my position as the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador in the Fire Nation. I have already taken the liberty to send a message to inform my father. My replacement should arrive within the month. I will leave all further correspondence regarding this matter between you and my father, Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe.

…Zuko, we knew this was always a possibility. We chose this. I cannot stay, you know my reasons. Like I cannot look into the eyes of the man who has the other half of me, my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit, and say 'Good-bye'. Perhaps in another life the spirits will be kinder to us, instead of teasing us with these past five years.

Do not come after me. For even I do not know where the tides will pull me. I need to learn how to breathe again. Maybe I will be able to learn how to live again. Destiny can be a cruel mistress. We are the evidence of her wrath.

We chose this.

~Katara

I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to you ask you to choose me and leave your birthright, your people, most of all them. But couldn't and I would never put you in that position.

The ballroom was breathtaking. I stood in the far back corner trying to become invisible. The others were trying to be happy for you. They were all polite, formal and cold as they made their way through all your guests. Even Sokka did not make any attempt to eat more than was necessary to not be rude.

The air was stiff and screamed of political gain. I thought of what ours would have been like. I know that this room would have been filled with music, laughter, our family, friends, and most of all love. Our love. It would have been our love that spread throughout this room, though the entire palace, through all of our nation. Our kind of love could have radiated through the world. I didn't know that it was possible to hurt more than I already did.

This is how it must feel like to die a hundred deaths, cried the voice in my head.

Our family made it possible for me to avoid having to face you. For that I will be forever indebted to them. Watching you and your new wife greet your guests since I took my vigil, you never once smiled. You were constantly scanning the room. Your face appeared partial. But your eyes were on a hunt for something lost. When Uncle announced that it was time for you to share your first dance as now man and wife, it was physically impossible for me. I was suffocating on the air all around me.

I sank even further into the wall that was bracing me from falling. I tore my eyes away from the center of the room to the vision in my head.

"Tara dance with me?" you asked me on our annual trip to Ember Island.

We were standing at the edge of the crowd watching the others in attendance move around the plaza square.

"Zuko, you do not like to dance unless you have to."

"I know. That's why I asked you."

I tilted my head your way and raised my brow.

"I have to watch your body move to the music. I have to feel your body move in tune with mine. I have to get lost in your captivating eyes. So as far as I'm concerned I do not have the option not to." you whispered into my ear. There was so much passion and conviction in your voice. My face started to glow. My stomach was all a flutter. I thought for sure that the crowd could hear my heart in my chest.

I took your out reached hand to lead me to square. The crowds parted for us as if Tui himself parted the sea. I heard Toph whistle our way and shout out some obscene choice of words. As we stood before one another, you placed a chaste kiss on my hand never letting the outside world interfere with the space between our eyes. Unexpectedly you twirled me around leading me right into your arms. You were so impressed with yourself and couldn't hide your smirk. I couldn't help but blush and giggle as I tossed my head back.

We danced until the finale song was played and the crowd dispersed. I started to walk towards our group then I felt a tug on my hand. I was pulled back into your chest and you started to sway with me in your arms.

"The music has ended, Zuko. Shouldn't we catch up with everyone?"

You answered me with a shake of your head and your lips on mine, intense with passion and gentle as a summers' breeze, the kind that always made my knees weak. I laid my head on your chest and you rested yours on top of mine. You began to hum your mother's favorite song. And we danced. We danced under the stars under Yue's light. We danced all throughout the night. In our room, on our bed, and in my dreams when sleep finally consumed us.

The next morning I woke up entangled in you. You were pushing my hair out of my face and traced the side of my cheek. I didn't need to open my eyes to know you were watching me sleep. I kept them closed, smiled and buried myself closer to your bare chest. You hugged me tight then tilted my chin so our eyes would meet. I felt my eyelids slowly open. It never got old, us silently staring into each other.

"Thank you, Tara for loving me. Thank you for teaching me what love is. Thank you for teaching me how to love. I will love you with all that I am until this life claims me and into the next."

"Isn't it I who should be thanking you? Zuko I will love you for as long as the sun continues to rise each morning and as long as the moon rises each night."

Then we continued to dance until our bodies trembled from our love.

That was the last time I was in our room, in your beach house, and on Ember Island.

Finally. An escape. The guests that were occupying the balcony finally left. I slithered my way to freedom on the far end furthest from the doors. Most importantly, out of sight. I hung my head as I gripped the rail turning my knuckles an unnatural shade of white.

I looked up to Yue. Pleading for her to help me get through this night. Letting my eye lids fall I tried to recall how I got to this exact moment.

My first thoughts were of Sokka and I penguin sledding. To the day I lost my mother forever then losing my father to the war. Single tears slowly escaped. I then thought of the day I freed a twelve year boy from his ice tomb, then you first entered my life.

Flash backs of the siege of the north, losing Yue, pirates, scrolls and trees. My mind shifted to you in Ba Sing Se, to you joining the gang, you helping to free my father, you helping me find closer with my mother's killer, to you taking Azula's lightening for me. To us telling everyone about our feelings. When Aang finally accepted us. To all the moments in our, no your garden now. The first time you told me you loved me. To the first time you made love to me. To you. My memories all seemed to lead back to you.

To you returning to your chambers with your council's decision.

Then I left. My tears were no longer slow they were fluid as my bending and as fierce as yours.

I didn't even hear Toph and Suki come up behind me wrapping their arms around me. They all tried to comfort me as best as they could. I let them. Nothing helped. No one helped.

"Tara we can go. Let's bust out of this joint. This party sucks rocks anyway" Toph said sounding as tough as she could.

"Yeah the guys already said they will cover for us" Suki followed.

…Silence.

"I haven't seen or spoke to him in a year! I left, just left. I couldn't even gather the strength to say good-bye. I didn't even tell him I loved him."

"He knew, you didn't have to say it" replied Suki.

"But I should have. I never regretted anything before and now with each passing day I find there is one more thing that I wish I would have said or did!" I hissed.

They just held me closer.

"He will never know how much I miss the way he held me a night. How I would lay on his chest while he ran his fingers through my hair. The beat of his heart. The heat of his breath on my neck. How he would whisper sweet nothings into my ear. How we would lay out in the grass of our garden planning and dreaming of a future that will never come to pass. Our wedding. Our children. Our lives. How I remember every single glance and smirk he gave me throughout the day when he thought no one was looking. Every single moment we shared together. The bad, the amazing and all the ones in between. Every single damn one is scorched into my memory and haunts me every night….how much I loved him… How much… I still do" my last words just above a whisper.

I started shaking. All of the pain and love rising like a tsunami.

"Toph go get them" Suki whispered over my shoulder.

I knew she was talking about Aang and my brother. But I couldn't let them see me like this. I refused. As soon as I heard Toph leave I whispered, "Suki, please forgive me, but I can't".

I froze her in her spot before she could blink. I knew she wouldn't scream and cause a scene.

I tore the sides of my dress so I had more movement.

(General POV)

Zuko noticed Toph's manic expression as she ran up to Aang and her brother. The men's expressions turned from placid to horrid panic with each word Toph whispered into their ears.

Mai squeezed Zuko's hand, getting his attention and looked up at her husband, "go" she mouthed to him.

His body responded before his thoughts processed the situation. When his three friends ran towards the balcony doors, he knew. He changed his trajectory from where they were standing to where they were now heading.

They were too late. Suki was frozen at her feet, tears streaming down her face. Horror washed over them as if Koh himself came. Zuko ran up and placed a death grip on the balcony rail. The last thing they saw was a shadow disappear into the abyss. Her words floating on the nights' breeze.

"We chose" were my last words as I leapt of the edge landing on the stone cold floor.

For the second time I just left.

His voice broke through the night. My name was the last thing I heard.

"KATAAARRRRRAAAAA!"

We chose. I told myself as I let the shadows of the night sweep me away.

We chose.

A/N: So what do you think? Should I leave it as a one shot or continue? Thanks for taking the time to read this :)