I said in my last fic that I probably wouldn't post anymore Fairy Tail/Gumball parodies for a while.
Well, I lied.
I'll tell you why at the end of this story.
This one is the Castle.
Enjoy!
Lucy sighed as she watched Natsu and Gray fighting in the middle of the guild.
She then noticed Erza walking towards them.
"What are you two doing?" Erza asked, with a hint of anger.
"O-Oh! N-Nothing, ma'am!" Gray said nervously, suddenly hugging Natsu.
"A-Aye!" Natsu said, returning Gray's hug.
"Everyone always listens to Erza." Lucy said to herself.
"Yep. She's been scary since she was a kid. Even my old man's afraid of her." Cana said, sitting down next to Lucy.
"Really?" Lucy asked, reluctant to believe that even Fairy Tail's strongest mage cowered before Titania.
"Lemme tell you a little story, Lucy. Six years ago, Gildarts used to let us kids crash out at his place all the time..." Cana said.
Eleven-year old Natsu and Gray were sleeping peacefully in sleeping mats at Gildart's house.
The alarm clock sitting between them then went off, but was instantly silenced by Natsu.
"QUICK! WE HAVE TO GET DRESSED, EAT BREAKFAST AND GET TO THE GUILD ON TIME OR ERZA'S GONNA KICK OUR BUTTS! GOOD THING I SLEPT IN MY CLOTHES!" Natsu shouted.
He then jumped out of the mat, showing that he was wearing black pants and a white parka.
"Hey, those are my clothes!" Gray said.
"No time to change! You put on mine!" Natsu shouted back.
Natsu ran out of the bathroom towards the stairs with a tube of toothpaste in his hand, as Gray followed him wearing a red shirt and Natsu's muffler.
"Dude, wait up! I can't walk in these!" Gray said, not used to being so...clothed.
He then tripped and fell down the stairs, bringing Natsu with him. When they landed, they saw that they had somehow switched clothes, and were now wearing their own clothes.
"That worked out better than I expected." Natsu said.
"You're wasting time!" Gray shouted.
In the kitchen, Gray carried sticks of butter, a toaster, and the toothpaste while Natsu threw him bread and cheese from the fridge.
"We have to go faster! Spread the toothpaste on the toast, put the cartoons on fast-forward and give me a milk shower!" Natsu said.
In the living room, the two sat on the couch eating slices of toast spread with toothpaste, pouring milk on themselves, and watching fast-forwarded cartoons, with their expressions changing as fast as the cartoons were.
The TV was then suddenly switched off.
They looked to the other side of the couch, where Gildarts was sitting lazily, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and a bathrobe. A twelve-year old Cana was sitting on his lap, wearing nothing but an oversized night shirt. She also had a can of whipped cream in her hand.
"Dude, it's our day off." Natsu said.
The two then jumped into the air happily. Time moved in slow motion as they imagined fireworks going off around them. Ode to Joy could also be heard playing in the background.
Cana watched as Natsu and Gray somehow defied gravity as they celebrated and squirted some whipped cream into her mouth.
"And its Gildarts who is in charge of us for the day." she said.
The two jumped into the air happily again, where they suddenly freeze-framed, until Cana squirted some whipped cream into Natsu's open mouth.
"Ahh, I was hoping you'd do that." he said.
The group was now at the grocery store, all wearing their pajamas.
For Natsu, that consisted of a plain T-shirt and sweat pants.
For Gray, that consisted of just his boxer shorts. Obviously.
Gildarts pushed the shopping cart while Natsu and Gray walked by.
"I love hanging out with Gildarts!" Natsu said.
"I know right? You stay in your pajamas, eat junk food all day, and get anything you ask for! It's like a really trashy Christmas!" Gray agreed.
As they walked, Gildarts grabbed some food from the aisle and began eating it right then and there.
Cana then walked up to Gildarts.
"Hey, Gildarts, can I have twenty Jewels to get my eyebrow pierced?" She asked innocently.
"First, I need to ask you one question, young lady. Are you prepared for the responsibility of how awesomely cool this is going to make you?" Gildarts asked seriously.
Cana kneeled down before him.
"Yes, father. I am." she said dramatically.
"Then take these twenty Jewels," Gildarts said, not even noticing the fact that Cana just addressed him as 'father', and handed her twenty Jewels.
"And may radness illuminate your path." he said as Wakaba and his wife were standing next to him.
"Ahem! Are you seriously letting that child get one of her eyebrows pierced!?" Wakaba's wife asked.
Gildarts gasped.
"You're right!" he said. He then handed Cana another twenty Jewels.
"Take forty. Get both. That's way cooler." he said.
"Thanks, Gildarts!" Cana said before running off to the piercing booth.
"Ugh, come on, Wakaba. Let's go." Wakaba's wife said, walking off.
Wakaba then gave Gildarts a thumbs up, approving his actions.
"Wakaba!"
Wakaba then ran off to his wife.
Natsu and Gray then walked up to Gildarts.
"Hey, Gildarts, can we get this tape?" Gray asked, holding up a roll of duct tape.
"Why?" Gildarts asked.
"To fix stuff." Natsu said.
"But nothing's broken." Gildarts said, pushing away the memories of getting billed for collateral damage.
"Yeah, but Natsu also wants to get these hammers." Gray said as Natsu held up two hammers.
"I'm not buying you kids hammers! Until we test how fun they're gonna be first!" Gildarts said, smiling.
Gildarts held Gray and Natsu up as the two repeatedly smashed food at a free sample stand.
Gray then stopped.
"Wait, aren't we gonna have to pay for all this?" He asked.
"Of course not. They're free samples." Gildarts said.
"Oh yeah!" Gray said before resuming his hammering.
"WOO-HOO!" Gildarts cried as he raced around the store riding the shopping cart.
Meanwhile, Gray and Natsu sat at the meat counter. Gray was gently hammering Natsu's knee, as if testing his knee-jerk reflex.
Cana then approached them, her face oddly emotionless.
"Where's your piercings?" Gray asked.
"I got the anti-wrinkle injections instead." Cana said, her face hardly moving.
"Really?" Natsu asked.
"BOO!" he shouted, jumping Cana. She let out a small shriek, but her face stayed frozen. Natsu laughed.
Gildarts then rode past them, only to suddenly jump off the cart, letting it crash somewhere else.
"I'm bored now. Let's go home." He said.
"What about the groceries?" Gray asked.
Gildarts then looked around before grabbing some old woman's cart.
"Hey, that's mine!" the woman said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you pay for this?" Gildarts asked.
"Um...no." The woman said.
"Then it's not yours, is it?" Gildarts asked before walking off with the cart.
"Ah...I...uh...eh...oh..." the woman said, trying to process what just happened.
Gildarts had the cart positioned pointing towards the store's exit. Natsu and Gray were holding on to either side of the cart, and Cana was sitting inside at the front.
"THREE...TWO...ONE...GO!" They all said.
Gildarts then pushed the cart off, sending the cart speeding away.
They all laughed and whooped as they sped out of the store, through the parking lot, and through the security gate.
"Hey! You can't do that!" the guard shouted.
"Of course we can! Everything is allowed with Gildarts!" Cana shouted back proudly.
"Boom-A!" Cana said opening the fridge door.
"We home alone with the old man so I make me own lunch!" she sang, bobbing her head as if it were a tribal song as she gathered ingredients.
"Oh!" Gray and Natsu sang as they also bobbed their heads.
"I can eat what I want so I take the best munch!"
"Oh!"
"I pick up ham and chocolate chips and stick 'em in the bread!"
"Oh!"
"It needs a lil' sauce, I say maple and red!"
"Boom!" Gray and Natsu sang as Cana sat down with her ham/chocolate/maple syrup/ketchup sandwich.
"Dude, have you noticed that your voice has changed?" Natsu asked Gray.
"What, you mean how I sound like a man and you squeal like a piglet on helium?" Gray teased.
"You take that back!" Natsu said with his still high voice. Gray laughed.
"Sure, when you ask me like a man." he said.
"I AM A MAN!" Nastu shouted, his voice getting even higher.
"Really? Cause right now you sound like a mouse whose parachute won't open." Gray said. Cana laughed.
Natsu then began shouting all kinds of obscenities at Gray that an eleven-year old shouldn't know, but as he did, his voice kept getting higher and higher, and eventually turned into a high-pitched ringing that caused Gray's and Cana's eyes to roll up into their heads, and their mouths to start foaming.
It eventually got loud enough that every glass object on the block shattered.
As Natsu continued shouting, his voice eventually returned to normal.
"Ugh! Okay, I take it back! Man, my ears are still ringing." Gray said.
The doorbell then rang.
"Dammit, there it is again." Gray said, mistaking the doorbell for the ringing in his ears.
Gildarts opened the door, revealing Wakaba.
"Lord Clive, word has it at the tavern of mages is that yours is a house with no rules. I humbly request asylum in your house of freedom." Wakaba said dramatically.
"What?" Gildarts said, obviously confused.
"Everyone at the guild is talking about how laid back you are. Can I hang out at your house? My wife doesn't let me be by myself anymore." Wakaba said.
"I hereby grant thee thy humble and most cherish wish." Gildarts said dramatically.
"What?" Wakaba said, as now he was confused.
"That means yes." Gildarts said.
Gray scowled as Wakaba repeatedly poked his face.
"I'm starting to see why your wife doesn't let you be by yourself." he said.
"I like touching things." Wakaba said dumbly.
Natsu sat next to them, mixing his food.
"To be honest, I'm more annoyed at the others." He said, referring the party going on in the background consisting of all the other people Gildarts had let in after Wakaba.
"THIS PLACE IS GREAT! I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE THIS LOUD! THE MASTER ALWAYS GETS ON MY CASE FOR IT!" shouted a thirteen-year old, punk Mira.
"Yeah, they don't judge you here." Said some man with white hair carrying a scythe who definitely won't appear in the lives of the Fairy Tail mages again in the future.
"Which is great, 'cause usually judges don't like me." He said.
"Ah, finally, a place where I'm not pressured by society to be beautiful." Ooba Babasama said.
"You don't look that bad." Said Mystogan as he sipped his drink.
"I haven't taken off my makeup yet." Ooba said.
She then wiped off her makeup, revealing a horrible, hideous face.
Mystogan spit his drink back into his cup.
"How about you?" Ooba asked.
"I just came here so I don't have to worry about hiding my face." Mystogan said.
He then took off his mask, revealing his blue hair and face tattoo.
"And why do you need to hide it?" Ooba asked.
"Uh...no reason..." Mystogan said, looking away.
In the kitchen, Macao was drinking like there was no tomorrow.
"Didn't you promise your girlfriend that you were going to stop drinking so much?" asked a seventeen-year old Laxus as he punched the refrigerator over and over.
"Yeah, but she's not here right now, so I can drink all I want." Macao said.
Back in the living room, Gildarts was approached by Bickslow.
"Hey, dude, I hope you don't mind, but I brought a few of my babies to the party." He said.
"Uh, before we open that door, please define a few." Cana said approaching them.
"Like…a bunch?" Bickslow said.
"And by that you mean?" Cana asked.
"You know…some?"
"Give me a bold, hard figure."
"Several?"
"I'm sure its fine." Gildarts said.
He then opened the front door, allowing a giant flock of babies to fly into the house, dragging Cana away. Gray then walked up to Gildarts.
"We need to talk." He said.
The four now stood outside.
"You're too nice, Gildarts. It was fun when it was just the three of us abusing how easy-going you are, but this has gone too far." Gray said.
"Hey, go poke yourself!" Mira shouted from inside the house.
Wakaba was then thrown out the window and landed in the yard,
"Gray is right." Natsu said as Wakaba began poking his face.
"You need to show some authority and tell these people to go. We learned our lesson today: Freedom is a good thing, but too much of it is—Hold on a second." He said.
He then threw Wakaba back into the house.
"And stop poking peop-!" Wakaba poked Natsu inside his mouth, causing him to gag.
"You need to learn to be less cool. Practice on Cana." Gray said.
"Hey, Gildarts, can I drink booze at the guild?" Cana asked.
Gildarts inhaled, about to say yes.
"Remember, you have to say no." Natsu said.
Gildarts then began to say no, but couldn't do it. He continued struggling, until he collapsed on the floor.
He kept trying until he ended up passing out somehow.
"I think it's safe to say it's not in his nature to say no." Cana said.
The three kids walked back inside as Wakaba walked out and began poking the unconscious Gildart's face.
When the kids walked back inside, they passed a kid with black hair and piercings wearing Natsu's clothes.
"Hey, those are my clothes!" Natsu said.
"Not anymore! Gihihihi!" said the kid who also definitely won't appear in Natsu's life ever again.
"Everyone stop!" Gray shouted.
Nobody listened.
"I said stop!" he shouted again, but still to no avail.
"Stop!" He shouted again.
"SHUT UP! GRAY'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!" Mira shouted for him, earning everyone's attention.
"Thank you, Mira. Now, what I wanted to say is that—" Gray said.
"PAY ATTENTION EVERYONE! THIS COULD BE IMPORTANT!" Mira shouted. Gray cleared his throat.
"As I was saying—"
"LISTEN CLOSELY! HE'S ABOUT TO SPEAK!" Mira shouted. Gray sighed.
"I just wanted to say—"
"ANY MINUTE NOW!" Mira shouted.
"DO YOU MIND?!" Gray snapped.
"Okay, I know it's—"
"SORRY!" Mira shouted.
Gray inhaled, taking a moment to suppress the urge to attack the delinquent.
"I know it feels great to be allowed to do whatever you want. Until now I hated rules like all of you. Freedom is a beautiful thing. The problem is: with too much freedom—" Gray said.
"THE STRIPPING BRAT IS TRYING TO STEAL OUR FREEDOM!" Mira shouted.
The kids were then thrown out of the house.
"You can't kick us out! We live here!" Natsu said.
"Not anymore!" shouted everyone inside simultaneously.
"That's it! I'm calling the authorities!" Cana said.
"Hello, Rune Knights? Cana Alberona calling. A bunch of people stole our house and won't let us in." Cana said in the telephone booth.
"Sorry, I can't hear you." Said Lahar.
"I'm at a party at Gildarts Clive's house. You should come, there's no rules here." He said.
Cana felt like exploding as she listened to Lahar laugh over the phone.
She slammed the phone against the machine several times until she released her stress.
"I don't think the Rune Knights will be of much help." She said calmly.
Gildarts stood in front of the house breathing deeply.
"Come on, Gildarts, go get your house back!" Natsu said.
"I'm gonna do this! I'm gonna Crash that door! I am Gildarts Clive!" he said.
He then charged at the door, gathering his magic in his raised fist.
"I AM FAIRY TAIL'S STRONGEST MA—"
He then abruptly stopped in front of the door and walked away.
"Oh, I can't do it. Master will kill me if I destroy another house, especially my own." He said calmly.
"Half an hour of heavy breathing and pep talk for this? Just use me as a ram, guys." Gray said.
Natsu and Cana screamed as they charged at the door using Gray as a battering ram.
When they hit, only Gray's head made it through.
Wakaba then began poking Gray's face.
The four were now back outside, and Cana was using Gildart's credit card to open the door.
"Oh, this is all my fault. It's because I have no will. If I wasn't such an easy-going slacker, none of this would have happened." Gildarts said, depressed.
He then began to cry in shame.
"Yeah, that's true." Cana said.
"Uh huh." Gray agreed.
"Yup." Natsu said.
"Oh, come on! You were supposed to say: "No, Gildarts, we're all responsible." Then we would hug and I would feel less guilty." Gildarts said.
Cana thought for a moment.
"Hmm…nah, this one's definitely on you, old man." She said.
The credit card was then stolen from her hand.
"What the what?!" Cana said, looking through the mail slot.
"Oh oh ohhh-oh!" sang Bickslow, proudly holding Gildart's credit card.
"Oh oh ohhh-oh!" sang his babies.
"Hello, sir. I would like to order 2000 pizzas please." Said Bickslow on the phone.
"Hey! Give that back!" Gildart's snapped.
He then charged at the door charging his Crash magic again, only to back down again.
"Hold on, I just got an idea!" Natsu said.
Mystogan opened the door to see a tall deliveryman wearing an oversized coat standing next to a tall stack of pizza boxes.
It was obvious that the deliveryman was really Natsu, Gray and Cana standing on each other's shoulders, with Gray on top, but Mystogan didn't seem to notice.
"Yes! Pizza! Thanks man, here's a tip." He said, handing the deliveryman a tip.
"And here's your receipt." Cana said, sticking her hand out of the coat.
"Uhhh…you can keep it." Mystogan said, creeped out.
He then attempted to lift the boxes, but failed horribly.
"Please allow us—" Gray said, only to get punched by Cana inside.
"Ah! Me! Please let me help you with that!" he said in pain.
After the boxes were brought inside, Mystogan looked inside one.
"Wait a minute...How come this is so heavy? These boxes are empty." He said.
"Surprise!" Gildarts shouted, bursting out of the pile of boxes.
His full mouth and cheese stained face showed that he had eaten all the pizza.
"In your masked face! I'm getting my house back! Fairy Tail style!" he said.
"Come one. Be cool, man. Please let us hang out." Macao asked peacefully.
"Well, I suppose since you're asking nicely." Gildarts said, considering it.
Cana then cleared her throat loudly.
Gildarts turned to the kids and saw that they were glaring at him. He then hardened his expression.
"But I'll have to say n—" he failed.
"I'll have to say n—" he failed again.
"I'll have to say n—" he put all his strength into it.
"I'll have to say no! A man's house is his castle! This is my house! My castle! So get out of here! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he shouted.
"Or what?" Wakaba asked, forgetting that he was talking to Fairy Tail's strongest mage.
Gildarts thought for a moment before shrugging.
And the four were thrown out of their house again.
"I don't understand. We did everything right." Gray said.
"Yeah, you turned responsible and showed some backbone. I don't get it." Cana said.
"Hmm. Something's missing. Some kind of ruthless leader." Natsu said.
"Yeah, a wrathful divinity that could crush this joyful chaos with one hit of its iron fist. Someone like—" Gildarts said.
A thirteen-year old Erza then appeared. Her eyes were shadowed as she was surrounded by a soul-crushing aura.
As she walked past the four, her presence easily sucked away all of their courage, causing all of them, even Gildarts, to start crying silently.
Erza then slammed the front door open without even touching it.
Her eyes were glowing with a commanding power.
She snapped her fingers, creating a shockwave that was so strong that all actions in the house ceased.
"You are going to clean this place until it looks better than when you arrived. Then you will leave and. Never. Come. Back." She ordered, her voice even more demonic than a Demon of Tartaros.
"Pfft. Or what?" Wakaba asked.
Erza then grabbed Wakaba and stared into his eyes.
The deathly apparition of ten-thousand wailing souls could be seen in her eyes.
Wakaba then began cleaning as he cried to himself.
Everyone else instantly began cleaning as well.
"We were never allowed to stay at Gildarts' house again. The End." Cana said, before taking another swig from her beer.
"Cana...there is no way I can believe that story ever happened." Lucy said.
Cana said nothing, but simply pulled out a photograph from in between her breasts.
It showed several random people, including a young Laxus, Mira, Gajeel, Erigor, Lahar, Macao, and Wakaba cleaning up Gildarts' house while crying to themselves, with a young Erza standing in the doorway looking demonic, and Gildarts, Natsu, Gray, and Cana crying outside on the front lawn.
"Woah..." Lucy said.
-The End-
In my last story, I said that I was thinking of writing a serious story. Well, I was indeed writing one.
Until I went back and saw that the beginning was total crap. So, I decided to go and rewrite it. Until I hit writer's block. The fact that I was coming up with more and more parody fic ideas didn't help.
So, until I can manage to come up with a good beginning to my store, I guess I'm just gonna keep writing more of these. Speaking of which, I added a poll on my profile about which Gumball episode parody you would want to see first. So, if you want more Fairy Tail/Gumball, then go check out my profile.
-Johanna Long