A/N Hello, hello, hello! So this is just a bunch of nonsensical hilarity that me and my friend came up with one night. We had just gone to see HTTYD2 together and she was staying over. We were really tired and started coming up with new dragons, and then we asked the question: If Hiccup had a secret phobia, what would it be? So yeah, and half the credit goes to my amazing friend Anna! Enjoy!
(Explanation of Prickle Boggles: they are a species of nanodragon from the book series and are extremely stupid.)
The Secret Phobia of Hiccup the Third
It was a normal day on Berk. Or, as normal as you could get,considering.
The twins were arguing, Fishlegs was reading, Astrid was target-practicing, Snotlout was sleeping...wait. Where is our great and noble chief, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third?
Oh, there he is, trying to wrangle their new pet-of-all-Berk dragon into coming down so Hiccup can study him. And what a fine dragon!
Named the Furry MadMaker (by Fishlegs of course), this particular one was named Tickler.
Why, you ask?
Well, Furry MadMakers have retractable feathers on their bellies (don't ask) and they also have short, sleek spines on their tails that can be launched at will. They actually look a bit like small Bewilderbeasts.
The spines are coated with a substance that they soon found out (to Snotlout's embarrassment) will make you go mad. Temporarily, of course. The spines were actually like little needles.
Tickler loved playing with children, human or dragon, he didn't care, and they would always shriek or squeal in delight when he tried to tickle them.
But right now he was having fun teasing Hiccup, flapping just within reach before swooping away again, playing his own little game, leading Hiccup high into the atmosphere.
He was randomly launching his darts, because he was having fun!
But...in true Viking fashion, this is bound to go wrong. Right? Left? Wrong? Ah, nevermind.
A dart has hit Hiccup!
Oh, no!
Wait, WHAT is he doing!?
He has unstrapped himself from the saddle. Toothless's tail isn't locked. Oh no, he isn't doing what I think he's doing?
Groan.
Yes, he is.
Goodbye, flight suit! Now he's in his regular clothes, and the flight suit is hung over the saddle.
Wait. WHAT!? STOP!?
Too late. He's jumped. What is that he's yelling?
"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!"
Oh, boy.
Down below, Astrid stopped her axe throwing as she heard a familiar dragon shrieking, and looked up to see Toothless falling.
She frantically searches the sky. There he is!
"Hiccup! Go, Stormfly, go!"
Stormfly took off (without her mistress)...but was sidetracked by a bundle of dragon nip Fishlegs was holding.
Up above, the spine is wearing off (a little) and Hiccup realizes he is falling to his death.
"YAAAH! I BELIEVE I WILL DIE! TOOTHLESS!"
But, being pinned by the formidable jaw of the sleeping Grump at the moment (not to mention his unlocked tail) Toothless is in no position to help.
Hiccup tried his parachute (which was incedentally on THE FLIGHT SUIT).
So, of course, it miserably failed.
At the same time, the twins had attempted to go save Hiccup...notice the attempted.
Tuffnut: well, I guess we better go save him.
Ruffnut: gotcha. BARF!
Tuffnut: not so fast. I'm taking Belch.
Ruffnut: they're connected, you bugbrain!
Tuffnut: that's sick.
Barf and Belch come over and they try, they really do try to save Hiccup, however Barf wants to go right and Belch wants to go left, and they end up crashing into Stoick's statue.
Astrid steals Hookfang from the still-sleeping Snotlout (what is it about him? Really, he could sleep through anything!) and races towards Hiccup, who has already crashed...into a nest of Prickle Boggles.
What are those? You ask. Are they a fierce and dangerous new species?
Ha ha, um, no.
Prickle Boggles are nanodragons, about the size of large spiders,with little prickles all over their bodies, and they are so stupid that they spend all their time arguing this question: Do they eat the ants or do the ants eat them?
Between you and me, they've never figured it out.
Fishlegs got there first, but Tickler had gotten to him too, and so he and Stormfly started fighting over the dragon nip he had in his hand and mouth. Disgusting? You better believe it.
Hiccup was half-conscious, and began muttering incoherently:
"Iss an eight-legged horse...eating dandelions...Astrid?"
Then he woke up. And noticed where he was. And what was crawling...all...over...him.
He screamed.
"YAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! WHAT THE..what am I doing in a nest of PRICKLE BOGGLES!?"
Poor Hiccup.
He leapt to his feet (well, foot, whatever, if you want to be particular) and began attempting to shake them off.
While screaming.
He was actually minus his boot (as Tickler had stolen it) and so was pricked in the foot many times by the little dragons.
Finally the leader, a slightly larger one that was way too heavy for its size, jumped on him and brought him down.
...And at that precise moment Fishlegs stopped fighting with Stormfly for a moment to talk to Hiccup.
"Oh, hello, Hiccup!" he said, way too brightly. "I don't think Astrid eats dandelions but she could secretly be an eight-legged horse!"
Oh Thor.
And Odin. And Freya and Loki and whoever else.
HELP!
Thank the gods, here help came, in the form of a beautiful girl riding a Monstrous Nightmare.
She jumped off the Nightmare, smacked Fishlegs, and ran over to Hiccup, dragging him out of the nest (and painfully shaking any and all Prickle Boggles off him) before pulling Hiccup onto Stormfly to yell at him during a flight.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?"
Um. How was this help?
"I have a fear of Prickle Boggles. Was it Ruffnut again?"
Ruffnut: (in the distance) No! I wish! But try again!
"You jumped off Toothless. Without your flight suit, and without locking his tail."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because Tickler shot you."
Oh. Right.
"I-"
She cut him off.
"And I heard Fishlegs saying something about you saying I was an eight-legged horse."
His ears turned red. Oh Thor. Had he really said that?
"I don't remember saying that, Astrid."
"You don't remember the whole thing."
She turned to face him.
"Don't ever scare me like that again."
She punched him in the shoulder.
"That was for scaring me."
He knew what was coming.
She pulled him close and kissed him.
"And that...was for everything else, you big idiot."
He smiled.
"Almost worth the punch."
She laughed and hit him again.
When they got back to the Academy, Valka and Gobber were waiting for them.
"Would you care to explain how there is a large hole in the roof of Gobber's shop, son? Or why Fishlegs is insisting on writing love poetry to a rock?"
Uh oh...