May 1976 – after the werewolf prank

Dumbledore's blue eyes are blazing with anger. He scares me. I stare down at my feet, avoiding his eyes. McGonagall, reproachful, disappointed, she's the one talking.

"Mr Black are you aware of the consequences your actions? Your classmates could have been killed or infected by the werewolf. "

I nod, my eyes still on the floor. James tries to interrupt. "Sirius didn't mean to..." Please don't. Don't defend me. You could have died! Professor McGonagall's sidewards glance shuts him up anyway.

"The headmaster and the heads of houses will decide on your punishment, after you all are back in your dormitories, where you belong."

Why doesn't she just say it? I'm going to be expelled, wand broken and all. Mother's going to kill me this time. That's why they don't say it now; they are waiting for her arrival in the morning to take me home, back to that prison. I won't be able to get out of there ever again, unable to use magic. But then I know I deserve no less.

"Mr Potter you also showed severe lack of judgement by going after Mr Snape alone. You were immensely lucky that the werewolf returned into the Shack, when you two had left the tunnel. Therefore five points are taken from Gryffindor."

For the first time after he ordered us to tell exactly what had happened, Professor Dumbledore speaks.

"However it must be taken into consideration that thanks to your speedy and courageous intervention not only Mr Snape's life was saved, but you prevented your two friends to become murderers." Murderers! I swallow. "I think 45 points to Gryffindor for immense bravery are in order."

James blushes, he's lost for words. I feel such a gratitude towards James, towards Dumbledore. He's the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever saw and James is the best friend one can have.

"You may go now."

Professor McGonagall leads us to the door, but there's one more thing I need to know. I turn back.

"Professor Dumbledore, what about Remus? Is he allright and safe?"

Dumbledore is watching me thoughtfully over his half-moon glasses. I feel like he can look right into my mind.

What does he want to see? I do care for Remus! I had no idea that he could break the door! I didn't want to kill Snape, just scare him! To help Remus! I regret it!

Dumbledore's expression softens.

"Mr Lupin is safely back in his hiding place. I've put a reinforcement spell on the cupboard Mr Potter transfigured into a new door. Impressive piece of magic. Mr Lupin is as well as he can be in his condition. Remarkably calm, I dare say. I don't think he will remember much of the attack and we should leave it that way. It's enough for him to know that Mr Snape saw him in transformed state and was pulled out of the tunnel by Mr Potter. Don't you agree?"

James and I nod vigorously. Remus would be horrified, if he knew what really happened.

Outside Snape is talking lividly to his head of house. I flinch at the undisguised hatred in his face. He looks sick, paler than usual, his robes are messy. I know I should apologize, but I can't. Not now, need to talk to Remus first. Professor McGonagall shoves us down the spiral staircase.

At dawn I sneak out of the dormitory. I want to spare Remus the trouble of seeing me, when he returns. There's that window sill near the North tower. Students rarely come here.

I've been sitting there for hours. My knees pulled close, my face buried in my hands. If I closed my eyes and nobody else is there, I don't need to face myself...

It doesn't work. I see them in my mind. I see myself goading Snape to go down the tunnel, James running out of the dormitory. I try to imagine what it was like, when Moony went after them. How could I forget that he is only tame, because we're in animal form, when we're with him?

Steps in the corridor. James comes looking for me. He always does.

I don't look up until he whacks me over the head with folded piece of parchment.

"Note from Professor McGonagall. Prepared to face your doom?"

"Just tell me, when my mother's here. You've read it, I suppose."

"You'd better see for yourself. Looks like you're not going to see your mum until end of term."

I grab the note and stare at it in disbelieve. Detentions with Hagrid, twice a week until exams?

"Very funny, give me the real one."

"This is the real one. They probably accepted that you meant not real harm. Oh come on, nobody got hurt. Or would you rather go home?"

"No." I shiver at the thought. "They're really not telling my parents? Just a few detentions?"

James smirks. "Actually Dumbledore can't possibly tell your parents that you let loose a werewolf on another student. He has to explain how it happened that the werewolf has been at Hogwarts in the first place. How would your mother react? I'm not even sure that my parents would approve and they've met Remus and liked him."

"But Snape, won't he tell? He could have been bitten or killed and it is my fault. Mine alone." I lower my face back in my hands. "I was such a bloody idiot. Remus will never talk to me again."

"I guess that's one thing you have to sort out with Moony yourself. Hey, he knows you didn't mean to get him in trouble. Remember what he's like. He won't rip your head off. Tell him you're sorry and he will forgive you. Maybe not so quick as usual, but he will in the end. And don't bother with Snivelly! McGonagall said Dumbledore made him keep quiet. He himself probably has good reason not to blab. What do you think he was up to, following your taunt? Since when does he do what you tell him to do?"

I don't get what James is hinting at. "Well, he's always spying on us, trying to get us into trouble. I thought seeing Moony would teach him a lesson not to mess with us."

"You're a bit slow on the uptake today, aren't you? Snivellus knew about Moony. He's not stupid. We figured it out two years ago. Evans knows, too. How's knowing about Moony getting us into trouble? Snape saw Madam Pomfrey take Remus to the willow and McGonagall cover for his absences. There was no point in telling the teachers what they already knew, so what do you think he was really up to? Dark Arts freak, sneaky little Slytherin. He surely hasn't walked into a werewolf's lair unprepared."

"You mean he...?"

"I mean you were not the one who planned to harm or kill a classmate last night. I guess he's learned his lesson, though. Took a larger bite than he could chew. The little sneak was scared to death, when I pushed him out of the tunnel. And the willow gave him a fair beating."

James keeps talking all the way to Gryffindor tower. It's hard to believe that Snivellus... that anyone could plan to hurt Moony just for spite, just to get back at us. Remus has even tried to talk us out of our pranks. He tried to make us let go of that git.

Remus is lying on his four poster pretending to read, when I enter. James shoos Peter out and leaves me to...

"Remus? …." He doesn't look up, turns a page. "Remus, please. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. Moony! Please, say something. Shout at me, hit me, anything. Moony..." He turns away, pulls the blanket over his head. "I am an idiot, a git, I know. I didn't think..." I don't really know what to say. I only know that I can't stand that he's not doing anything. I want him to shout, to tell me off. Yes, I would preferred it, if he hit me. I reach out to touch his shoulder, but stop myself. He's right; there's nothing I can do to make up for it. I have to accept it.

I crawl into my own bed; draw the heavy curtains close. And lie there, biting my pillow.

There's a sound from the opposite bed. "Sirius,... It's allright, I know... Just leave me alone for a while. I can't talk, not now, maybe later..."

"Still friends...?" I whisper. There's no answer for what seems like ages. Then it comes, whispered, tired, sad. "Yeah, friends..."

I don't deserve his forgiveness and feel jubilant at the same time.

Next time we meet Snivellus is at dinner. His hatred and loathing is not not just visible in his eyes, it seems to have become a solid wall around him. Even his fellow snakes keep their distance.

I can live with it. Then I notice that he shoots the same hateful glances to Moony, too. James' explanation makes perfect sense. The sneaky git got it coming, it served him right.

A/N: James returned into the tunnel and changed into Prongs, after he pushed Severus out. He held Moony off until he calmed down in the absence of humans and shooed him back into the safe room in the shack. There James transfigured a piece of furniture to replace the broken door. Severus was too busy dealing with the active willow to notice.

I'm aware that some people think a stag can't go through that narrow tunnel. European red deer have a shoulder height of 105 to 120 cm (41-47"). The stags cast off their antlers in spring and it takes them until July or August to regrow to full size. With a half-sized pair in May Prongs should have been able to hold back Moony and still move in the tunnel (as it is described in POA). If not, I take the same license as JKR and let the tunnel magically adapt to plot necessity. ;)