"The world was a terrible place, cruel, pitiless, dark as a bad dream. Not a good place to live. Only in books could you find pity, comfort, happiness - and love. Books loved anyone who opened them, they gave you security and friendship and didn't ask anything in return; they never went away, never, not even when you treated them badly."
― Cornelia Funke, The Inkheart Trilogy: Inkheart, Inkspell, Inkdeath
Did you ever felt why you were born? Why you are still leading your life even if u see there is no reason to do so .I felt the same and found the easiest way to erase the mistake made by god, by my parents.
As soon as i resolved that, i left my lavish office, my meeting where some vultures so called board members and lawyers were screaming at each other about what i should be doing. How i should snatch their company from my so called mother. To teach her a lesson .who killed my father .In turn, the person in question blaming my father for that .going on...
I couldn't listen anything was bored frustrated, agonized, despaired and lastly resigned about why is this happening to me .i know the answer all the people are cruel, love to torture others and seek enjoyment in others pain. God is also the same why he ill be anything different. After all we all are his specimens right?,he is cruel. Sometimes he makes you live.
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. After 25 years of this unwanted burden. am going to free myself. Let go this unwanted feelings.
Am feeling suffocated, how a parent can talk about her own child, how can a spouse can be cruel to her own husband..i don't know may be every women is like that..Maybe she was made into like that after all a caged animal when last out on you when kept for long..Maybe..i don't want to judge any one. Contemplate anything..Whom i am to do so.. Duelling on such things is waste.
Still this heart try to give me hope .things will be ok later on..Soon situations will change you. ill find someone who ill care for you .love u ..Whose face when u end the end of the day make u feel like a winner..Even whole world is against ,no things happens in your way.
But it does'nt understand there is no such thing love..no such person soul mate. People are opportunistic.. Soul mate ha..Term itself is laughable, maybe it was invented by a delusional house wife who thinks her husband hung's the moon..While the husband will be banging the secretary in the office..
But to make my heart understand the SOUL MATE thing which I too believed &once thought a certain strawberry haired angel no..a demon Tanya a succubus as my soul mate, how laughable of course who banged half of my office colleagues ,my college friends behind my back .which i dint knew still last day when i purchased a engagement ring to make that Barbie my wife. And found her banging my best friend James who was married to my other friend Victoria in my bed. it was a eye opener .i enter the church which is decorated with virginal white drapes and red flowers ,ironical ..i read the wedding invitation ..Aloud
Something borrowed and
something blue
some things are old, some
things are new
Someone to care and share
your life the dream of every husband and wife
Please join us
Tanya Denali
and
Garret Garrison
as we unite in marriage
on Saturday, the twelfth of July
two thousand fourteen
two o'clock
Belleview Grand Hotel
975 Belleview Boulevard
Bellaire Beach, North Carolina
Ironical..
Weeding reception is already going on and James was congratulating the couple..i saw for few minute..And my heart wept not for loosing Tanya..But for wasting my 9 years for the vicious snake..and wasting my 15 years trust of friendship for James' I felt sympathy for the groom who was brother of James .but whom am i to show any emotion when i don't have any to spare..
I started to leave the church unable to see the barbaric event ...but Tanya saw me and stiffened,i thought what was her first thought would be ,,did she remember banging the countless nameless guys on my bed when i was surrounded by files meetings deals in office or the day she humiliated me by accusing of a blind workaholic wal street business bastard. Who dint find knew anything other than deals, numbers and business.
Garret also saw me And introduced himself and try to kiss my ass for better deals with my company..ha..Like know i have time or patience for him to help nor he had any talent to acquire.
I left..
...
I OPENED MY eyes and took in my SURROUNDINGS. People where were everywhere..Hurrying..Someone pushed me in an hurry to catch their train..that made me jolt out of my stupor..i tried to see who was that person who couldn't watch where the were going .i first saw a brown hair..who was on ground trying to get up..all her things were scattered on the ground i knew i had to help her like a gentleman. But dint felt the need to act chivalrous in my last moments. she was talking something no..shouting i guess scolding me for coming in her way dint respond dint try to listen..i sent want to listen to people any more..so i turned but she started to call me..i had to do something had to escape before people recognized me
.i looked at my options..Not many..There was a ancient looking train about to start i was a vintage trip it was written on the train a tribute to the first train started in America...it was going all the way to Washington..good chance. it may go where it want to but it will take me to my destination. No automatic doors it was my first thought seeing the train..i guess god was little bit sympathetic to me i guess in my last minutes and all..no..he wanted to get rid of this puppet. got bored i guess..good.
I went inside the train without acknowledging anyone...Everyone was enthusiastic about going to journey in the old fashion way... train starting making loud noises i decided it was going to start so i found a almost empty compartment and sat down..Another luck..hmm
To not spend my last moments dueling on others i decided to close my eyes and meditate. To get the peace which i didn't found in my 25 long years..
Today is last day of my life..tomorrow world will be free from Edward Cullen the business of Cullen industries .Elizabeth can have my office which was my father`s before. Had make her 29 year old husband new CEO for all i care..i will not be there to witness that..wow no going to office ..this miserable life over..with that last thought a smile stretched on my face after such a long time..good at least is mailed before my death even if it is about dying itself..
Hey i would like to have a beta for reading and removing my stupid mistakes ..please feel free to mail me or PM IF YOU FEEL GENEROUS to help me out..
Thanks
wannabecullen