I do not own Rocky Horror or any of the characters (except the ones I create myself, I guess). They belong to Richard O'Brien
Read this first: Its a big long and not much happens in the first bit, so I'll tell you what happens to keep you reading! Its Christmas and Magenta, Columbia and Janet are all pregnant at the same time! They all think they know who the father's are, but they're wrong. The first Rocky fan fic I've posted on here, infact the first ever fan fic I've posted on here! Thanks for reading this, you may now go onto the story...
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As the first week of December came, frost crept over the castle lawns and icicles dangled dangerously everywhere they could. It was the coldest Christmas the town of Denton had ever seen. It was early morning and the sky was a dull but clear gray.
As a watery, pale yellow sun started to rise, Magenta woke up. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and gave herself a few minutes to focus on her surroundings. The room she shared with Columbia was extremely messy; wine bottles and cigarette dimps littered the floor, posters were pinned askew on the walls and the whole room smelt of the musky perfume Columbia seemed intent on wearing every day.
Columbia herself was dead to the world, snoring noisily in her slumber. For a moment Magenta thought she had gone death, but slapping her hands to her ears she felt the cotton balls she had stuffed into her ear lobes to block out the sounds of Columbia's snoring. She pulled them out.
"Damn groupie, never does anyzink around 'ere, good for nothzink…" Magenta cursed.
The dressing table in the corner of the room, which was rickety since one of its legs had long since fallen off, was cluttered with cosmetics and basic crap. Magenta managed to find her hairbrush and tugged it through her bush of red hair. Then she waved a mascara wand over her eyes and quickly swept vibrant red lipstick over her lips. Once she was dressed in her French maid attire she went downstairs to start on breakfast. To her surprise she could smell the porridge she herself usually prepared and crept curiously into the kitchen.
"Morning!" Riff Raff said cheerily. He was stood at the cooker stirring at a pot.
"Riff! Vhat are voo doing?" Magenta asked. She put her arms around him and he kissed her head.
"I though I'd make breakfast for a change, it seems unfair you have to do everything around here" Riff Raff explained.
"Oh my darling brover…" Magenta smiled. She stared into the pot, which contained a congealing gray muck, "Um Riff…" Magenta said. Riff Raff, too, looked into the pot, he sighed.
"I can't seem to get the hang of this cooking lark…" He said.
"Oh vell, it vas a lovely gesture. How about I start a new one?" Magenta suggested.
"Its probably the best idea. What should I do?" Riff Raff asked.
"Just keep me company" Magenta smiled.
"My pleasure" Riff Raff grinned, "So, whats this Christmas that seems to be everywhere at the moment?"
"Oh I don't know! Columbia never shuts vup about it. She zinks we are human though, so I can't really ask about zit can I?" Magenta said.
"Ah well. We'll find out soon" Riff Raff shrugged.
"Probably just another stupid zing on zis dreadvul planet!" Magenta said. Riff Raff laughed.
They chatted away about their home planet, dreaming they were back there. By the time the porridge was done, the rest of the castle were awake. Magenta and Riff Raff had hoped to have breakfast alone together; they never seemed to find time for just the two of them anymore.
The meal went as it usually did; Magenta and Riff Raff served the porridge then sat down and ate in silence. Frank made remarks about the food, Columbia chatted non-stop and Rocky struggled to find the proper way to hold his spoon. After it was over Frank and Riff went to the lab.
"Do you need any help Mags? I really want to help out more around here! It gets so boring doing nothing all day!" Columbia said.
"You'll just get in ze way" Magenta muttered.
"Aw come on! There must be something," Columbia said. Magenta knew that she wouldn't give up until she was given a job to do, and she quickly racked her brains for something.
"Vell … voo can polish ze ball room floor," Magenta said. She hated doing it, the room was simply too huge.
"Okay!" Columbia grinned.
Magenta told Columbia what to do, threw the cleaning products at her and went to get on with her own chores. She hadn't long got down the hall when she heard a crash.
"I'm okay!" Columbia called.
Magenta rolled her eyes. You could lock Columbia in an empty room and she'd still find some way to cause a catastrophe. Magenta decided to go and see the dogs; they were the only things she'd found an inkling of love for. Riff Raff was making his way from the forest, dragging a huge pine tree with him. The leaves with covered in thick layers of snow and their feet crunched as they walked towards each other. He was panting and sweating. Magenta grinned and went to help him.
"'Ere, I'll take zit" She offered.
Riff Raff gratefully dropped the tree and bent over to wheeze. Magenta picked up the tree and started to drag it to the castle with no bother. Riff Raff felt embarrassed that his younger sister was so much stronger than him.
"Vhat are voo doing with zis thing anyway?" Magenta asked.
"It's a Christmas tree. Frank said he didn't need any help in the lab and sent me to get one. I've left the chain saw in the forest, there was no way I could bring that back as well. I'll have to go and get it later" Riff Raff explained.
"Ah, well 'ere we are!" Magenta said, dropping the tree at the door.
"Thanks. Where are you off to?" Riff Raff said.
"To feed ze dogs. Just check on Columbia in ze ballroom will voo? I'm afraid she might have caused herself a serious injury," Magenta said.
"Okay" Riff Raff replied, looking amused. He caressed his sister, biting her neck softly. When Magenta looked up he kissed her and she smiled.
The dogs were kept in a separate block on the castle grounds. There were four dogs, huge Alsatians. They were snarling and vicious, but when Magenta visited them they were as sweet as puppies. They started to bark as Magenta entered.
"Hello my darlings!" Magenta said as she opened the gates to release them from their pens.
They pounced on her, knocking her to the floor. They're tongues lapped every part of Magenta's body and she laughed as she tried to push them off her.
"Off!" Magenta said sternly. They instantly retreated. Magenta wished she could stay with the dogs all day, but she filled their bowls and left.
As the day progressed the temperature in the castle dropped. Soon every time some one breathed, fog escaped their mouths. Finally Frank snapped.
"Right! That's it, before we all freeze our nuggets off; I'm going to phone an engineer! This castle is supposed to contain central heating," He snarled.
"I don't zink so Frank – master. Zis castle is very old" Magenta said.
"Whatever!" Frank snapped.
"Wait – why don't Magenta and I take a trip to town? We can ask around for good engineers, and do some shopping" Riff Raff said tactfully. Magenta grinned at him.
"Oh very well! Just as long as this castle has hit body temperature before night fall" Frank stomped off back to his lab. Columbia went to follow him.
"I'd leave him if I were you, Columbia. He can be foul when he's in those moods of his…" Riff Raff warned.
Magenta went to her room to fetch her thick black wool coat and then followed Riff Raff to Frank's truck. They sat in silence for the journey, though they held hands. Riff Raff was not the best driver and this was not helped by the coating of ice on the road.
"I thought they put grit on the roads?" Riff Raff said. Magenta shrugged. They turned into town and stopped by the shopping centre.
"Did voo get a list?" Magenta asked as they got out of the truck.
"No, just get anything" Riff Raff said.
"Goddess it's so cold!" Magenta muttered, shivering. Riff Raff smiled.
"I'll keep you warm" He said. He put his arms around Magenta's shoulders and they walked across the slippery car park.
"Just look at zem all, Riff. Digustzing zings!" Magenta grimaced. One woman turned and narrowed her eyes. Magenta smiled sweetly at her, Riff Raff laughed.
"Get a trolley, Mags," He said.
Magenta took a trolley and they started to walk around the centre. She was too busy looking at the food to notice the wet floor signs, and the wheels of the trolley skidded across the floor, sending itself and Magenta into a pyramid of fruit. There was a crash as Magenta fell into the trolley and fruit rolled around the floor.
"Oh my Goddess!" Riff Raff cried. He kicked the fruit out of the way as he stooped to pick his sister up.
"I'm fine!" Magenta snapped, brushing herself off.
"Some people really should watch where they're going" The same woman who had given Magenta a dirty look said as she passed.
"Come 'ere and say zat again!" Magenta snarled, stomping forward.
"Leave it! Lets just get the shopping down" Riff Raff said, pulling her back and trying to comfort her.
They got a new trolley, leaving the sea of fruit, and started to select things from the shelves. Then they turned a corner, and they're hearts froze.
"Oh. My. Goddess" Riff Raff whispered.
"Zits heaven!" Magenta gasped. They were in the liquor isle, and rows of wine gleamed at them as they passed.
"Stock up!" Riff Raff said as he took bottles from the shelf at random.
"Lets just get zis all through ze tills and we can sit in ze truck for a while, and drink some of zis" Magenta suggested.
"Of course" Riff Raff agreed.
They quickly dashed through the tills and got back into the truck. Riff Raff drove towards the woods, where they always went to be alone together. Only today they were sure to freeze to death if they sat under the frosty canopies of the trees on the frozen ground. Instead they sat in the truck.
"Here's too us!" Riff Raff announced, and they clinked their bottles together.
"I love voo Riff" Magenta said.
"You say that all the time" Riff Raff smiled.
"Because its true" Magenta said.
Riff Raff pushed the seats back so there was a flat surface for them to sit on. Magenta lay in his arms as they drank their beloved beverage. Riff Raff stroked his sister's hair, and then started to undress her. Magenta felt a tingle of excitement, and returned the favour. Soon, they were making love.
The re-turned to the castle bliss fully happy, but their happiness was short lived. Columbia was sat at the bottom of the stairs, sobbing.
"Oh th-thank God you two are h-here!" She sniffed, wiping her eyes. The red pencil that were her eyebrows smudged.
"Whats wrong?" Riff Raff asked.
"F-frank! The electric's stopped working now, and this place ain't getting any warmer. I tried to help but he just yelled at me. He's doing his nut! You better go and see him; he's in the lab with Rocky" Columbia said.
"Oh for Goddess sake…" Magenta muttered, dropping the shopping and going to the lab.
Frank was hitting the buttons on his wall and Rocky was messing around with some wires.
"Master? Columbia said we are having some problems" Magenta said.
"Yes! And where have you been? You better have brought an engineer back with you!" Frank shouted. Magenta bit her lip.
"Vell … no, we haven't" She said.
"Argh!" Frank roared, and he hit Magenta around the face.
She stumbled with the force of the blow, but managed to regain her balance. It didn't surprise her; Frank often turned violent when things weren't going his way.
"We have guests arriving for the holiday!" Frank announced.
"Who?" Magenta asked, she tried to keep her voice even.
"Brad and Janet" Frank replied.
"Vhat?" Magenta cried.
"Yes. And I'd like the castle to be presentable! I'm leaving it up to you and you're sodded brother to sort things out!" Frank ordered.
Magenta bowed and went to the kitchen. Riff Raff and Columbia were packing away the shopping.
"Here Mags, can you –" Riff Raff went to pass Magenta a bag but dropped it, "You're face!"
"Vhat?" Magenta looked into the cracked mirror on the wall. The place where Frank had struck her was red, the rest of her face ghostly white, "Oh, Frank…" Magenta started.
"Frank did this?" Riff Raff asked.
"Yes. He vas angry. He says Brad and Janet - voo know, zat dreadful couple? – Are coming to stay for the holiday. He wants the castle perfect" Magenta explained.
"So he did this to you?" Riff Raff said, he took Magenta and held her close to him, "I'm so sorry my darling, I should of came. I would have protected you," He explained.
"I thought he was going to hit me, the way he was acting" Columbia butted in.
"He vouldn't hit voo, he adores voo" Magenta said. Columbia beamed.
"You think so?" She asked.
Magenta rolled her eyes and broke away from her brother to finish the un-packing.
"Come up to my room" Riff Raff offered, taking her hand.
They left Columbia and went up to Riff Raff's tower room. Riff Raff sat cross-legged on his bed, Magenta's head in his lap, and started to rub cream onto his beautiful sister's face. Magenta twirled a thread of loose cotton from his shirt around her finger and sang softly ("In another dimension…"). They stayed this way until the moon rose and they finally fell asleep.
The next day anybody who didn't know better would have thought that the Queen was visiting. Frank made sure Magenta actually cleaned the castle properly for once. Then he and Riff Raff proceeded to put up the huge Christmas tree in the foyer, whilst Columbia ran around sprinkling glitter everywhere and wrapping tinsel anywhere she could. As morning turned into afternoon the sound of a car engine approached.
"They're here!" Frank announced.
"Why are we making such a big effort anyway?" Columbia asked.
"I felt that we left each other on … bad terms. And it's nice to make an effort every once in a while. Riff Raff go and greet them at the door! And try not to scare them" Frank answered.
Brad and Janet looked as they had the first night them came to the castle, timid and wet. Only Janet's hair was longer and Brad's glasses apparently thicker. They looked around at the surroundings.
"Ah, I've seen you've decorated for the holidays…" Brad said.
"Its nice!" Janet added.
"Theres some … mince pies in ze oven, I'll go and fetch zem" Magenta suggested.
"Follow me to the lounge, make yourself at home…" Frank said.
"No party?" Brad asked.
"Not tonight … maybe to celerbrate the holidays? We don't really have Christmas where I come from" Frank said.
"Ah, Jewish?" Brad said.
"No" Frank said, with a scowl.
"Magenta definitely has an accent…" Janet said. They went through with this mindless charade of small talk until Magenta presented them with the pies.
"Oh Magenta! Where did you get that awful bruise?" Janet asked as she took a bite of her pie. Magenta glanced at Frank, who gave her a look.
"Someone left the cupboard door open" Magenta said, looking at Columbia. Columbia looked upset that she was to take the blame, but played along.
"So, are you married yet?" Frank asked.
"Well no, we wanted to take things slow after … you know" Brad said. Frank nodded.
"You're all invited of course!" Janet smiled. They muttered un-enthusiastic thanks, "Where's Rocky?" Janet asked.
"In the lab. Working out" Frank replied.
"Oh!" Janet blushed, "Erm, where's the bathroom?" She quickly asked.
"I'll show voo, I zink I need to go too" Magenta offered.
"I'll tag along!" Columbia said. Magenta rolled her eyes and led Janet the way.
"Ha, women!" Brad said.
"Quite" Frank agreed.
"So, master, about Magenta 'hitting an open cupboard door'…" Riff Raff started.
"Now Riff Raff, lets not talk about that!" Frank said.
"It won't happen again will it?" Riff Raff asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
"Of course not, Columbia will close cupboards door in the future, I'm sure" Frank said.
Brad looked confused, but before he could saying anything there was a rumble of hurried foot steps – three pairs. Columbia came running into the lounge first, skidding across the shiny wooden floor. Then Janet came skipping in after her, her face beaming. Magenta wasn't so quick, and didn't look too happy either.
"I'm pregnant!" They all cried at once.
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LOL! I'll write more soon, hoped you liked it. This is a remake of my first one. Very much the same only I went through the typo's and extended it
You gotta have the classics!