So...I've been gone for a while...
I honestly didn't mean to be gone this long I'm so sorry. I just have a lot to juggle at the moment. I'm trying to get SOMETHING out there because for the life of me I cannot finish chapter two of Gaslight, which is crazy because the whole thing is only supposed to be three chapters long. This (like Gaslight) is an update-as-I-go fic. I've planned absolutely nothing so bear with me as I get back into writing.
Forgive me if the format is weird. Posting from an iPhone lol.
-.-
Tension
Prologue
Look here, Naminé, it's time you started acting like an adult. You messed things up, so you should be the one to reach out and fix things. It's not hard to just type out a quick message and hit send. Your pride will eventually be the death of you.
Sort of. It's sort of your fault. You may have said some nasty things to him and treated him unfairly but that's no excuse for the way he retaliated. And is it really your pride that's causing you to not contact him? Your feelings are hurt, and you have every right to be mad at him. You apologized when it wasn't even your fault and all he could do was continue to blame you. He stopped talking to you. He was the one who faded away from you. And it was probably on purpose.
Well, you don't know that. Let's not assume his intentions. You're trying to be a better person now and the one thing you don't want to do is start assuming things again. That's what pushed him away the first time. When you two start talking again, you could just ask him why you two stopped talking when you're comfortable. Don't overthink this and don't revert back to your toxic habits.
However, so many people have agreed with you that he purposely ghosted you. It's not assuming, it's common sense. He didn't even read the last message you sent him. He ghosted you, so be the bigger person and wish him a happy birthday already. If he doesn't respond, that's on him. You tried.
No, it's not about being the bigger person. It's about getting your best friend back. You miss him? Grow up and tell him. Tell him happy birthday because you mean it and keep your intentions pure. You said you've forgiven him so act like it.
But you haven't and you shouldn't. He hurt you.
People hurt people all the time.
But still...
But nothing. You miss him.
You shouldn't...but you really miss that jerk.
...I miss my best friend.
I take a deep breath and open the messaging app on my phone. It takes no time at all to put in the number that I've tried so hard to forget over the past year. Part of me feels stupid for doing this at 2am, but I won't get any sleep until I at least try.
Hi, it's Naminé, if you even remember who that is. I just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. I hope you have an amazing day :)
And...send. Hopefully he'll respond later on today. If not, I kind of deserve it. He doesn't owe me a response. You know what, I'm just not going to wait on it. I'm going to go to sleep and—
Bzzzz! Bzzzz! Bzzzz!
That can't be him. There's absolutely no way that that's him.
Call from Unsaved Number
Oh my gosh he's calling me...
-.-
About a year ago, I met this guy named Roxas on a game called Gone Before Morning: a survival game. The whole of the game is running around the insanrly large map with the other five members of your party trying to figure out the puzzles to unlock the main door and get out before the killer finds you and kills you. It's availabe on most consoles and PC but I play on console because the...PC controls are too difficult. I'm not much of a gamer, honestly. The only game I can bring myself to play is GBM, and that's because my brother got me hooked on it.
So one day I decided to play online and use a headset. After enduring several matches with privileged buttheads calling be Becky and telling me to "get good," I finally came across this one stranger who kept saving me sorry butt at every turn. I asked him why in a PM after the match and he said it was because he knew the killer was purposely "camping me" and wanted to piss him off.
Somehow, we kept finding our way into the same match. He didn't have a mic at first, but when he got one I learned he was hilarious. This random guy could make me laugh harder, louder, and longer than anyone I've ever met. Even when we weren't in matches together, we would stay in each other's private messages talking about everything and nothing.
We exchanged phone numbers after two weeks. It was the best thing I ever did. We grew really close really quick. I wound up telling him some personal stuff that took years for me to admit to my irl best friends...and I stayed on the phone with him until 5am on a Sunday morning just so he wouldn't be trapped in his own head all night. I didn't mind a single bit.
After a month of texting and calling each other, I found out that we lived in the same city; Roxas stayed in the northern part and I stayed in the south. That's when we decided to meet up. I was so terrified that out energies and personalities wouldn't be the same outside the game, but it was. The moment we saw each other in person, he gave me the biggest hug and flashed the biggest smile. I immediately felt comfortable around him. And at the end of our "friend date" as he called it, he said to me:
"You know...you're like my best friend. That's crazy."
And I felt the same way. I'd never had a connection like that with anyone else. I was comfortable around Roxas like I'd never been before. From that point forward we were best friends. I went over to his house, played ganes with him, went out to eat with him, met his best friend, everything. It was amazing having someone like him in my life.
Six months later, things changed.
You see...I have abandonment issues. They're really bad, and that was one of the things that Roxas never understood about me. On a day where the stress of my job, friends, and family had gotten to me, I went to him like I always had. He was busy. I understood that, but what I didn't understand was him reading my messages abd not responding. The last thing I wanted was to be clingy, but it drives me crazy when people ignore me. I sent him several messages asking him if he was all right, if we were still friends, if he needed space, and he never answered a single one. It wasn't until after I blocked him on GBM that he finally responded. Very, very angrily.
We got into an argument, where he admitted that his mental health wasn't the best and he just didn't feel like talking to anyone. I definitely would have understood that had he just told me. The least he could have done was sent a quick message saying "hey, I'm not well, get back to you when I get my ish together!" But no, he straight up ignored me. But instead of explaining that to him, I bowed out and apologized anyway.
He never apologized for leaving me hanging, but instead kept hanging the fact that I made him angry and didn't trust him over my head every chance he got.
Our conversations got colder. Then shorter. Then...nothing. The second time I tried to wait on him to come back to me, tried to rationalize his behavior, tried to understand that he could be going through something, but after a month, I gave up. I stopped waiting for his reply and his reply never came.
Not a day went by that I didn't miss him. I blamed him, myself, and the entire world around us. I was angry, sad, nonchalant, then angry, then sad again. Over the past year, I've gotten better. My own mental health has improved, I've matured, I've gotten a new job that makes me happy, and I've repaired my relationships with my family. I'm genuinely happy and I'm handling things like an adult now.
Now it's time to get my best friend back.
You know, if I can gather the courage to answer the phone.
-.-
These chapters are going to be really short because my brain can't handle long chapters at the moment. No less than 1K at a time though, promise. I'll try to update this as soon as I can because I know where I want this to go, but I wouldn't mind suggestions, theories, etc. Thanks for reading!
Oh and this is also based on a true story. My best stories come from stuff I've actually been through.