Kyo crossed her legs and leaned back further in her seat, hand entwined with Kaoru's as she surveyed the chaos that was this impromptu shopping trip. She was thankful that she had such accepting friends, most of them being queer themselves didn't hurt, but this was going to be a nightmare; the mall trip all over again. Coming out had been nerve-wracking, of course, but this was the one outcome she didn't think about; Haruhi was the designated "girl" to fawn over, after all…
"Not a girl," He interrupted, Kyo's head whipping around to face him so fast that she might've gotten whiplash. She knew what he was doing, of course, but that was a lot more unsettling than she thought it would be, "It seems the student has become the master."
"Like you care about which gender you're referred to as," She smirked, leaning her arm on top of Haruhi's head and putting her full weight on the small boy. A bit mean, perhaps, but certainly nothing that hadn't happened before for less.
"Hey, get off, you're heavy," He huffed, trying to shove her off, though it was still playful, "Use your boyfriend as an armrest, not me."
"What a rude thing to say to a girl," Kyo commented, but did let her go, "Saying such things about a lady's weight, you absolute brute. Honestly, the cheek."
"You sound like your grandmother, Kyo," Hikaru snickered, only to be cut off.
"Be careful back there, kids," Tachibana cautioned, gaze flicking up to the rear-view mirror quickly before it went back to the road, "We don't want anyone to get hurt."
"Sorry, Tachibana," Tamaki chuckled nervously, "Everyone will behave."
"Will we?" The twins deadpanned in unison, hints of mischief attempting to lilt their voices, but they kept firm. After all, if m'lord was going to speak for them like that, he was only inviting his own misfortune. His own hilarious misfortune.
"Of course!" Tamaki insisted, "After all, we're all here today not only to give Kyo some much needed new clothes and makeup, but to show her that we support her identity and reward her trust and courage. That doesn't include running amok and making more work for her."
"Wow… Thank you, Tamaki, that was very touching," Kyo said, completely sincere. It wasn't exactly surprising, Tamaki was sweet to a fault, but there was always some sort of fear when it came to stripping off some metaphorical armour. Especially something as big as hey, I don't identify as a guy; can you call me a different name and pronouns please.
"You're our friend!" Tamaki enthused, "We're all behind you. Girl, boy, neither, both; you're Kyo, and we love you."
"And if a single person misgenders you purposefully, we'll kick their asses," Kaoru added, giving Kyo a forehead kiss after brushing her hair away. He was careful with it, as she was still getting used to the extensions she had put in the day before, and she gave him one of her small smiles in return.
"So, what's the first stop?" Hani asked, munching on a chocolate bar Mori had given him to get the small boy to actually settle down, like a true tired parent. Not necessarily negligent, but more just wanting their kid to sit down and shut up for once.
"The first stop is private," Kaoru informed, "Kyo and I only. You guys can go get a milkshake, or something."
"What are you doing to my darling daughter, you sinister twin?" Tamaki accused, finger pointing at Kaoru's confused face. Huh. A weird turn of events.
"Daughter?" Kyo inquired, raising an eyebrow, "What happened to Mommy? Have you finally stopped referring to Haruhi like that?"
"Well, daughter is no longer fully appropriate for Haruhi, both because he's my boyfriend – today, at least – and I… That's pretty creepy," He grimaced, cringing at himself as if it were a few years ago when he referred to Haruhi like that, when in reality it was only a matter of weeks, "Anyway, any girl in the host club can be my daughter to dote upon!"
"No thank you," Kyo denied, a deadpan expression on her face, "I'm happy to stick to mommy, being referred to as your daughter is far too strange."
"Well then… I can't say mommy, because that's also weird with me dating Haruhi and all… How about sister?" Tamaki offered, and when he got a nod of approval, he continued to try and get more information about the private location from Kaoru, "Now that's sorted, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY LITTLE SISTER YOU EVIL TWIN!"
"Ouch, dude, too loud," Haruhi groused, covering his ears with his hands and his mouth pulled into a grimace. In his defence, Tamaki had yelled right in his ear.
"But he could do anything to her without us there, Haruhi!" Tamaki whined, the only real response being several pairs of rolled eyes and Kyo wondering if she should be a little offended that Tamaki thought she should be protected from her own boyfriend. Still, this was Tamaki, and it was just how he expressed concern and care, "He could take her to some sort of kinky sex dungeon!"
The car swerved, Tachibana letting out a string of obscenities and Hotta screeching like a girl. The teenagers in the back were scared stiff for a moment or two, but luckily the swerve wasn't too violent, and it was more out of shock than anything. At some point Kyo almost jumped into Kaoru's lap – would have if it weren't for her seatbelt – but was clinging onto his waist. He didn't mind though, and just wrapped an arm around her shoulders in response, giving her a comforting squeeze.
"Okay, kids…" Tachibana began, sounding all too breathless for a moment before clawing back composure, "I'm going to mute the sounds from back there, okay? I never want to hear anything like that ever again, Master Tamaki – that's my baby girl you're talking about."
"Yes sir!" Tamaki yelped, Tachibana pressing the button that essentially soundproofed the back of the limousine. It was there so that the people being chauffeured could get a little privacy, but Kyo supposed that blocking out Tamaki's overprotective nonsense was also a good use of the feature.
"Look, Tamaki, if I were to take my girlfriend to a kinky sex dungeon, I'd tell you guys to go see a movie," Kaoru deadpanned, running his fingers through her hair, "Getting milkshakes wouldn't give us enough time. What can I say? My pretty kitty likes to play ~"
Kyo snorted, chuckling to herself as Tamaki screamed and Haruhi tried to block it out. Of course, if Tachibana could hear them then Kaoru would never have said that in fear of his instant and painful demise, but it was fun to watch Tamaki freak out and Hikaru mime throwing up. The only hint of regret came with Mori giving them both a disapproving look, but even that was kind of worth it.
"Look, Tamaki, calm down," Kyo laughed, trying to get the blond moron to shut his mouth for a moment, "It's nothing perverted, he's just helping me pick out some… more delicate articles of clothing. Things I don't want you guys to see under any circumstances."
"No, no, I forbid it, young lady!" Tamaki denied, Haruhi trying to hold him back despite being smaller and weaker than him, his face a picture of strain and concentration, "I do not approve of this doppelganger seeing your underwear! He'll think of all sorts of perverted fantasies about you, painting you in some hyper-sexualised, vulnerable light like that awful hentai we walked in on Renge watching!"
"He already has perverted fantasies about her," Hikaru pointed out, smacking his brother upside the head, "I never wanted to know about the cat ears, you furry fuck."
"Well that's what you get for looking through my stuff," Kaoru returned, shoving him back and straight into poor Mori, who luckily managed to steady the other boy before Hikaru ended up sprawled in his lap, "Karma – like myself – is a bitch."
"If you guys are quite finished talking about mine and Kaoru's sex life, we're pulling into the multi-storey," Kyo pointed out, an amused smirk playing on her glossed lips and the corners of her eyes slightly crinkled – genuine. Kaoru always melted at the sight, unable to help himself as his dearest expressed such legitimate happiness, finding joy in being able to tell the real smiles – or smirks – from the fake and overly polite. She just looked so beautiful, and he couldn't help but pepper kisses over her cheeks.
Hikaru made gagging noises, obnoxiously turning in his seat and drawing attention to the fact that he didn't want to see his brother and his girlfriend acting all sappy. In other words, drawing attention to the fact he was sulking. Luckily, that was something that both Kyo and Kaoru loved to exploit, and Hikaru either hadn't twigged on that it only spurred them on or he couldn't control himself. Both were equally plausible.
"Enjoy the milkshakes, I've got to help someone special pick out underwear that's just as beautiful and delicate as she is," Kaoru winked, grabbing Kyo's hand and bolting from the car, their laughter intertwining wonderfully with Hikaru's indignant squawking and Tamaki's dismayed yelling.
This was going to be a disaster, as most things concerning the host club were, but they'd be damned if it wasn't an enjoyable one.