Beep. Beep. Beep.
I laid motionless, listening to the beeping of the machines. All I see is the floor, all I smell is the sickly smell of a hospital that's been cleaned too many times. That is all I have smelt for a long time.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I have been a daze for such a long time, that I don't know what day it is or what time it is. I am barely aware of anything. All I know is that I'm alive. Barely.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The other thing I know, is that it's his fault. Gale Hawthorne. That name I now hate and that name I cannot bare to speak. That's if I can speak.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It's his fault. Everything is his fault.
It's his fault I'm here. It's his fault we're all here. It's fault I'm like this. It's his fault I have to bear Doctor Highland everyday. It's his fault I may never be able to walk again. It's his fault I'm alive and they're dead.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I hear footsteps. Then my bed is turned over. I see the doctor's sullen face above me.
"Good morning Madge, how are you feeling?" he asks. I look up inquisitively at him, my eyes burning with hatred. Is he dumb or what? I'm strapped in a bed, my back is severely burnt and I have a broken spine. I'm fine, really. Just peachy. "Well," he says, "I'm just here to ask you if you'd like to se your friend Gale. He's been asking for you everday, you know."
My fingers tighten around the bars to which I'm holding on to. I cough a few times.
"No," I say in a raspy voice. "I don't want to see him. I don't want to see anyone anymore! WHY WON'T YOU ALL LEAVE ME TO DIE! I HATE YOU ALL!"
I am now shaking with rage, the bed is mirroring my movements. My eyes are filled with tears and everything is blurry. I scream and scream and scream until I feel something getting injected in my arm. It hurts. Not only because my arm is sorely burnt, but because it sends excrutiating pain down my back. Tears are now rolling down my face as I howl in pain. I can't roll over and I can't pour water down my back to cool it. My back is in flames. Everything seems to be slowing down, the pain seeming to be a mere tingle.
I slowly reopen my eyes as I'm fazing into unconsciousness. The last thing I see is Gale trying to enter and the doctor pushing him out.
He cares?
We hadn't seen it coming. All we'd done was living our lives in a deep state of regret. We'd lost our victors. They were back in the arena, fighting for their lives. We watched them as they put up the plan to kill all the victors.
We were back at home, safe for another year.
Or so we thought.
I looked out of my window, writing words of a book no one would read. My fingers grasped the pen and were furiously trying to keep up with my train of thought and I was so concentrated that I didn't see them. I heard them.
A ripping sound of horror. First a scream. Then a deafening bang. The ground shaking furiously. More screams. And the crackle of fire. Fire. Fire!
The pen fell to the floor, splattering the tiles with ink. I ran downstairs and stopped in my tracks. On the landing, a fire was spreading. It came in by the door and ran accross the hallway, engulfing everything with it's flaming tongue. It licked the walls, swept the carpets and was litterally eating my house. I was going to die.
I screamed again and ran back upstairs. I grabbed my coat, slipped on some boots and then ran out of my room and through the corridor. By now, everything was clouded with smoke and I was coughing badly. At the end, there was a massive painting. I pressed the left side of it and it swivelled, revealing a stairwell. I ran down them and onto the front yard. What was left of it anyway. Ashes, dust and smoke.
Around me, district twelve was smoldering. Explosions, screams and defeaning noise echoed all around me. But all I saw was my two parents stuck inside, trapped by the flames. I ran forwards, trying to avoid falling timber and clouds of ash. I saw the flames, ready to gulp them up. I saw their desperate faces as the looked up bravely to the great wall of fire around me.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion. I heard a call from behind. I turned around, only to see Gale Hawthorne, beckoning me to come to him. I shook my head and turned around, still running. And then I stopped.
My parents were gone.
I yelled and ran forward. For some reason, I thought that they were still in there, somewhere, and that I could still save them. I had this yearning to go in there, rescue them or a least guide them out of the mortal flames.
"Madge!" Gale yelled. "Get out of there! It's all about to crumble!" I didn't pay attention. All I wanted was to see my parents alive and well. They were fine. They were fine. THEY WERE FINE!
An ear-splitting creak echoed from above my head. I looked up and before I knew it, a piece of flaming timber fell on top of me. A scorching pain seized my back and set my skin on fire. I felt too hot for it to be normal, my vision blurred with smoke. I screamed, the pain was so unbearable I wanted to rip off my own back from my body. I fell to the ground, my head aching severely. My back was still on fire, the flames consuming what was left of me, in such an orphic way I began to slowly slip away from my body in acatalepsy.
The piece of timber was lifted off my back, but this only made me scream more and come back with a sudden jolt of pain. I felt it. I knew it. My back was broken and it hurt like you would not imagine. Someone was beating down on my back, obviously trying to extinguish the flames that were growing, eating away my skin and soul. My coat was ripped off me, taking half of my dress with it, but the flames were still burning my skin. This person still kept trying to extinguish my back, even though they could die. Another wave of searing pain washed through my body and I screamed one more time. This time, I abandoned my body and sank into a dormiveglian state.
The last thing I saw was Gale's face screaming my name.
"MADGE!"
Then I blacked out.
I groaned. My vision became clearer and I saw that I was once again face up. I was conscious of my limbs and conscious that someone was holding my hand.
I opened my eyes and looked down. I almost gasped. But I didn't. I couldn't.
Gale Hawthorne was clutching my hand and sobbing. Proper crying, tears were streaming down his face. His hair was messy and a little dirty. He seemed chalky and tired, his shoulders bent down with fatigue. Never had he looked so vulnerable or so attractive to me.
"I'm sorry, Madge," he gulped. "I'm so sorry." Another tear rolled down his face. His head went down. I saw the silent tears rolling down his cheeks and the small sobs he made.
Something jolted in my heart. I don't know what miracle it was, but it lifted me up, higher than I'd been for a long time. So high, that I reached for the stars and amongst one of them, was a constellation. And it's name was Gale Hawthorne. It shone bright, brighter than any I'd seen before. It was a beacon of hope amongst the ruins that clouded my thoughts. And it shone brighter and brighter until it reached a point of no return and I was sucked up into it, I knew it, I looked at it and fell under it's spell. It was beautiful, brave and enduring. It had gone through so much destruction and pain, yet it was still there and strong, although vulnerable when looked at closely.
"G-Gale?" I croak. He lookes up, tears stains marking his face.
"Madge... I can explain, I-" he starts but I cut him off, coughing.
"Don't... Just tell me why you saved me." He looked down and up again and started speaking.
"I had managed to get everyone out. Almost. I sort of knew what would happen. After the screens went black... I don't know, something didn't feel right. So I got as many people of the district ou. Some wouldn't listen, but most did. Those who didn't are now dead. We were out in the meadow and then I remembered you and your family and the fact that I'd forgotten to get you out of there. So I ran back. Everything was exploding, people were shouting. I don't know how I even got through there alive. When I arrived to your house, I saw you on the lawn and your parents...well, it was too late for them. You wouldn't be able to save them and neither could I. So, my only goal was to save you." He shook his head and breathed in deeply. "You didn't exactly listen to me and a piece of timber fell on your back. I'm sorry, I didn't get to you in time. You were in flames, I ended up taking my shirt off to extinguish the fire on your back. You were screaming so bad, I have no idea how much it was painful it was to you, but I knew you were suffering. Once the fire was out, well, you looked really bad. Really bad. Your back... I'm not going to describe it to you. It looks miles better now, but good lord, you looked like you were about to die when I first looked at you. I picked you up and put you on my shoulder, because I couldn't carry you bridal-style. I ran back, trying to hurt you the least I could. By he time I got there, everyone was being escorted into hovercrafts by the district 13 soldiers. They saw you and put you straight away in medical care. They literally ripped you away from me. I never really got to see you again... except when you refused to see me the first time. And today. And I've never been able to say this to your face, Madge, but I'm so sorry. For everything. Forgive me."
District 13. Sorry. Too late. In flames. I took a deep breath as I came to the conclusion that it wasn't his fault. No, it wasn't his fault at all. It was Katniss Everdeen's fault. She should've died in the first Hunger Games and left us to live in peace. One day, I had imagined she was a good-natured person. She was selfish and she broke Gale. For this, I hoped, even if it was cruel and very unlike myself, she would suffer all the pain she had made every single person she had ever hurt endure.
I gave him a weak smile, my chapped lips cracking open.
"I forgive you," I said, giving his hand a small squeeze. He looked into my eyes, his brown ones sparkling with hope. Another jolt burts from my chest. And I knew right there. I'd done it. Fallen in love with Gale Hawthorne.
"You know what I want right now?" I ask. He looks inquisitive.
"What?"
"Strawberries."
"Really?" he smiles. I laugh, but it hurts.
"Yeah. You used to bring them to me, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. It seems like ages ago."
"L'éternité ne dure qu'un temps." I reply in an old language we took at school, french. He used to be in my class. "It means forever only last a moment."
"I knew that," he says. And then he seems to hesitate a moment until he finally replies. His eyes reflect his thoughts. Hesitation, determination and hope. "I have something to say to you too, in french." He leans down until he's a few inches away from my face.
"Je t'aime. A jamais." I open my eyes wide as he presses his soft lips to mine.
I love you. Forever.
Now I know why he gave me all those looks when we saw each other. Now I know what all those hesitations meant. Now I know why he insisted on bringing me strawberries even though he'd come the day before. Now I know why he came back. It wasn't for my family. It was for me. He loves me. He cares for me. So do I.
I love him.
So I respond into the kiss. His lips are soft and firm under mine. He cups my chin as I tug onto his hair. It's soft and silky under my touch and he moans a bit as I pull it a little harder. Our lips are moving in sync, our hands explore each other's hair and face. We are now one, whole, two soulmates completing each other. It's a pure moment of aiepathy.
And it doesn't matter that I am broken and burnt, so is he. We are broken dolls by the Capitol's work and we have both learnt that it takes two to make one.
All I had to do was forgive him.