Let It Rain

Summery: AU One girl with a devastating past and the quirkiest of personalities. One boy with a hopeless future and caviler facade. And the summer that intertwines them and changes everything. Friendships are challenged, families are torn, loyalties are betrayed, and love is found.

Pairings: Nathan and Haley / Lucas and Brooke / Lucas and Peyton / Possibly Others!

Friendships: Haley and Lucas / Haley and Peyton / Haley and Brooke (Down the line) / Nathan and Brooke / and more!

Back story: Read to find out. By chapter 3 everything should be clear for the most part. Just try and stick with the story for at least that long and you won't be disappointed.

Author's Note, Please Read: Okay so this story will be written a few different ways and I hope it doesn't confuse anyone. I will start most chapters with either a diary entry or a letter or something like that. There will also be things like that in other parts of chapters. But for the most part the story will not be told from any one persons point of view, just a general one. The diary/letters/ect. will be used to help you get in characters heads. There will also be a LOT of flashbacks. I will try and give you a taste of lots of characters so just be patient. Please comment and let me know how you like it. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter One :: Summer Girls

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

Okay, so maybe any normal person in their right mind would be ashamed to say they new each and every word to LFO's Summer Girls. Maybe your average 16 going on 17 year old wouldn't dare incriminate themselves any further by writing those lyrics down on paper. But, guess what? I'm not just a normal teenage girl. I'm Haley Elizabeth James and I am what my good friend Lucas likes to call... an individual. Fine, he really uses the word weird, but I know he doesn't mean it. Well, now that the insanity that is my rambling is over I should probably try and explain what the hell I'm doing writing in this diary... yes that's right DIARY. I tried telling myself it was a journal, to make it sound cooler, but let's face it. I'm writing in a diary. More to the point, I'm rambling in a diary.

So, it all started when my most favorite person on God's green earth, (no that is NOT sarcasm, though you will hear a lot of that from me later on.) suggested that since I was going away for the summer (I'll explain that later. Promise.), I should keep a diary of my thoughts, feelings, important events, yada yada yada. Dear, sweet, Karen Roe. Karen is Lucas's mother and with out a doubt the closet thing to an angel this earth has. I'm serious, Mother Theresa has nothing on this woman. Given how much I adore Karen, I tried my best to let her down easy and explain that I really am not the 'diary type' whatever that is. I thought I had gotten through to her, but just yesterday she greeted me with a smile the size of China and this lovely navy blue diary.

She sat me down and talked to me for a while, trying to explain why she thought it was a good idea. At first I thought about just agreeing to write in it to make her happy. But, the more she talked the more I actually found myself warming up to the idea. I mean, maybe it will be good for me to get everything out and onto paper...

Flashback - 1 Day Ago

"Haley sweetheart, you are so important to me. From the second Lucas tugged your little hand through our front door I knew you were special." She said tearfully causing Haley's heart to break into a thousand pieces. How could she have refused this woman's advice after everything she had done for her. Why couldn't she have just agreed that writing in a diary was a good idea from the very beginning.

"Oh, Karen you mean so much to me too! Who I am today is because of you. You have given me so much and I'll never be able to thank you for that." Haley said, harboring a great deal of emotion with in each word she spoke.

"You are the little girl I never had Haley, and you will never have to thank me for taking care of you. It's what mothers do." She replied letting a few salty tears make their way down her cheeks.

"Well, your the best mother in whole world." Haley stated feeling like she was 6 instead of 16 and not caring one bit. Despite the lack of genetic binding, Karen Roe was Haley James's mother in every way that counted.

"That right there is exactly why I love you. Honey you are a caring, generous, and truly wonderful young woman. And, you feel so deeply... so powerfully. After everything you've been through I know that you still stay hopeful. I know you try not to because you don't want to be let down and hurt. But after everything you're still vulnerable and I can see that." She said taking the younger girl's hand in her own.

"You can?" Haley asked softly, noticing the tears in her own eyes. The wetness was a foreign texture in the blonde's eyes. A long time ago she had realized that crying didn't get you anywhere, and she had stopped. But right then, right there in the presence of the one adult she felt safe with, she couldn't help but weep.

"Of course I can see it, mothers always can. You are so strong Haley. But I'm afraid that one day all of the fighting you've had to do to get by and the emotion you try to lock away, I'm afraid it'll get the best of you. I know you talk to Lucas and Peyton..." She trailed off trying to break through to the young girl she cared so much about.

"And you." Haley added quickly squeezing Karen's hand slightly. The Cafe' owner smiled softly and nodded.

"Yes, and I am so glad you share yourself with us the way you do. But, I also am aware of the fact that you hold back... understandably so. There is so much inside of you sweetheart. This summer you're going away and I'm worried. Worried that phone calls and letters won't be enough. I'm not doubting you in any way, but I do think you need something to help you through. I want you to write in this diary because maybe getting the words on paper will help. Maybe writing down your thoughts or even just drawing doodles or playing with lyrics will help you." She said hoping with all of her heart that Haley would be okay over the summer.

"Do you really think it will make that much of a difference?" Haley asked after thinking about everything Karen had said.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I can just send my little girl away with out doing something to help. The past few years have been hell for you and yet you've managed to keep that beautiful heart of yours open. I just want to make sure it stays that way. Write in the diary Haley. Please, for me." She asked seriously. It took all of one second for Haley to make up her mind after that.

"Okay. I'll write in it Karen. I'll write in it everyday." She promised. Because maybe it wouldn't be so horrible. Maybe it would help her deal with her jumbled emotions. And because she would do absolutely anything for Karen... anything.

End

Once the words 'Do it for me' came out of her mouth I was a goner. I mean, this woman took me into her home and gave me the safety and security I always yearned for. Hmmm... maybe that's a little bit confusing. I guess I should back up a little and talk about me for a while. I have to admit I feel a little strange talking to a diary. Maybe if I named you it'd be easier. Or more strange. Well I already referred to a book full of paper as a 'you' so I guess I'm already off the deep end. Why not enjoy the fall? So, if I were a diary what would I want my name to be? George? Fred? Cindy? Wait, does the diary have a gender? Stupid question. I guess I'll just stick to unisex names. Joey, Charlie, Riley? Too Dawson's Creek, no, and no. This is way harder than I expected. Who names their diary anyway. I mean a few weeks ago I was the girl that made jokes about girls who wrote in diaries. Now I'm naming mine. Lucas does always say that I'm a schizophrenic at heart. Isn't he hilarious. Or maybe just GENIOUSE. I could name my diary Schizo! It's completely... me. Odd, intelligent (No I am not conceited, it's just the truth.), slightly cryptic, and completely valid. Karen says I should right from my heart into this thing... and like I said... I'm a Schizo at heart.

Flashback - 3 Days Ago

"Lucas Eugene Roe! Yeah you better run before I tackle your scrawny little $$ to the ground." Haley yelled to her best friend as he zig-zaged to dodge her advances. It wasn't long before she caught the end of his shirt and held on tight causing them both to crash to the ground.

"Ow." Lucas mumbled into the ground. They had landed in quite the position. Lucas went face first into the ground with Haley landing on top of him. They both attempted to get up at the same time which provided a very humorous image. Haley used Lucas's back as leverage, causing him to be shoved back down to the ground.

"Haley..." Lucas groaned sounding slightly like a whining 7 year old. Laughing and dusting off her clothes Haley stuck a hand out to help him up.

"You put a worm in my hair Lucas, that fall was coming to you." She told him sternly as he began to stretch his injured muscles.

"It was just a teeny, tiny worm." He said innocently. Snorting Haley replied.

"First off, you know I have a bug phobia. Second, that thing was practically the lock ness monster. There was nothing small about it." She huffed.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken pleasure in your discomfort. Truce?" He asked sweetly and holding his hand out in a fist. Rolling her eyes she nodded and bumped fists with him.

"Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh I have to get to my dance class at the center!" She exclaimed after getting a glance of Lucas's watch. Haley had been dancing since she was very young. Given her clumsiness you would never guess, but she was extremely talented. She could never really afford to take lessons or anything like that, but when she started school things changed. Her class went on a field trip to a place called the Lucinda Wilder Recreation Center...The Center. It was a place for kids to go an hang out in a safe, productive, and fun environment. There was a basketball court, a pool, tons of dance lessons, and a lot more. Haley fell in love with the atmosphere immediately. Lucas, Skills, Junk, Fergie, Mouth, and the rest of the guys she hung out with would go and play basketball while she went to dance lessons.

"Whoa, I thought it was canceled for today." He said calmly trying not to laugh at the paniced look on her face. She simply hated to be late for anything. Scrunching up her face into what could only be described as a very 'Haley' expression she thought about her schedule.

"Oh, that's right. Maybe it's ballet?" She questioned to herself. There were a number of dance classes offered at The Center including jazz, hip hop, alternative, tap, and free style. But, ballet was not offered. Initially Haley didn't even think about dancing ballet. As previously stated, she was clumsy and ballet was about grace. But, when a snobby girl in her jazz class got jealous of how good Haley was things changed. Erica Marsh, the snobby girl, danced at The Center only when Worthington academy of Dance was on break. She made a comment about how 'maybe Haley thought she could dance jazz, but her clumsy little $$ would never be able to do ballet.' This to Haley, was a challenge... and Haley James never backed down.

"I thought that ritzy school closed every other week of the summer." Lucas said referring to Haley's ballet school. After being challenged Haley went to work on starting ballet classes. This was hard because the only classes available in Tree Hill were expressive. Money, was never something Haley James had a lot of. In fact, it was not out of the ordinary for her family to be in debt.

"Well, I know I have something to do at 1:00. I just can't think of what it is." She said tapping a finger on her chin.

"Work?" Lucas asked even though he was pretty sure that wasn't it. He usually knew Haley's schedule pretty well, especially her work schedule considering she worked at his mom's cafe'.

"No, I start my shift at 5 tonight and then I'm closing." Haley said. The blonde was certainly no stranger to hard work. With her families low income, she learned at an early age that she would have to earn anything she wanted in life. She started doing odd jobs like babysitting, mowing lawns, raking, and anything else she could do to earn a buck at the tender age of 11. By the time she was 14 Karen gave her a job as a 'bus girl' at the Cafe'. As the years went on she became the cafe's most reliable waitress... though not the most elegant on her feet. The money she made permitted her to enroll in ballet class at the age of 13. Ever since she had worked her but off to prove to Erica Marsh that she can handle anything thrown her way... and she's done just that.

"I don't know what to tell you then Hales." Lucas said shrugging his shoulders and walking a few feet to pick up a basketball. The two had gone to the River Court to hang out. While Lucas played ball, Haley look out at the water and wrote song lyrics in her notebook. Music was something she always loved, which was part of the reason she enjoyed dancing so much. But, unlike her dance, singing and songwriting was very private to her. She didn't even share it with Lucas.

"Wait a minute. I know what it is! I was suppose to meet Jarred at his house. His make-up exam is tomorrow and if he fails he'll have to go to summer school. Boy would that ruin his party plans." She commented. Among her many other activities Haley was the schools best tutor. It was weird because while she wasn't wildly popular, Haley also wasn't a geek. She had friends in all of the schools cliques. Jarred happened to be a basketball player she tutored. One of the many.

"You know what Haley? You are a schizophrenic." Lucas said squinting his eyes and pointing at her. Haley threw her head back and laughed loudly, something Lucas loved to hear. Her loud, free laugh was so refreshing and real. It was contagious.

"Thanks Luke. But if you are done trying to send me to the crazy clinic, I have to get going." She said controlling her laughter and rolling her eyes.

"No, I mean... you're all over the place. Look at the conversation we just had. Dance, work, tutoring, you tackling me, being afraid of bugs, and that's just the beginning. You are with out a doubt the most unique person I know." He told her with a hint of pride in his voice. He was proud to call her his best friend.

"That just means I don't fit in anywhere Lucas." She said smiling softly and shaking her head.

"What? You know that's not true Bunny Beourgard. You fit in right here." He said putting his arm around her and squeezing her tight. She smiled widely at his words. Lucas could always make her feel like everything was okay... always. He had been there with her through so much and was the most loyal person she knew.

"Come on dork, I have a jock to enlighten and you're gonna' walk me." She said looking up at him. They really were best friends.

End

Dear Schizo,

My name is Haley Elizabeth James the Third. Haha, just kidding about the third stuff. I guess this is a pretty confusing diary because I started it with lyrics and mindless mumbo jumbo. But, I'm the only one who's ever going to see it so who cares! Now that you have a feel for my oh so lovely personality, I'll tell you a little about myself. I am 16 years old and turning 17 on October 31st. Yes, Halloween. Maybe that's why my life is so curse. You see, Growing up I moved a lot. Every few months something would happen and we would have to leave and find a new place. The 'something' was either A) The bills didn't get paid so the landlord kicks us out. Or B ) My mother breaks up with her boyfriend so we need to find a new meal ticket. It's all very charmed I know. My father was sent to jail on a whole bunch of drug charges when I was only two years old. Good old mom didn't waste any time finding a new man to take care of her. Over the years there were a lot and I mean A LOT of guys in our lives. Some of them were okay and left me alone for the most part. Let me tell you, being ignored was NOT a bad thing while I was growing. Because, some of my mothers boyfriends weren't okay...at all. They were abusive to both her and me. Growing up I thought it was normal to have a mommy who was drunk all the time and to have guys around the house that smacked you across the face for walking too slow.

But honestly, I don't like to think about that much. I'll try to make an incredibly long story short and just get right to it. The abusive boyfriend thing went on until I was about 9 years old. That's when my father was released from prison. My mom took him back and we tried to be a family again. Things were great for a while. I mean, maybe my father was a drug dealer... but I adored him. I was daddy's little girl in every way imaginable. When I was about 14 things crashed again. My father died. I still can't say much more about it then that. Even thinking of it makes me want to vomit. Soon my life reverted back to the way it was before my father. Hell. That's really the only way to describe my 14th year of life. There was only one good thing that came out of that year. Peyton.

Flashback - 2 years ago

"Daddy I miss you so much. At night I can't sleep and I look through the books we would read together. I practice my guitar too, just the way you taught me. Mom talks about how you were good for nothing...just a stupid drug dealer. But I know that's not true. Maybe you made some mistakes, but so does everyone else. I made a mistake at your funeral. I was supposed to say something nice about you but I couldn't do it. I was too sad to talk. Mom got really mad at me later when we were at Uncle Rays house. We made a huge scene in front of everyone and I threw stuff at her. Skills always does say I have a temper. But daddy, I was just so confused. I'm always confused now. All I know is that I love you... and I don't ever think I'll be okay again." Haley cried while she knelt down at her fathers grave.

"You'll be okay." A voice said startling her. She turned to find a girl with curly blonde hair and smokey green eyes looking at her nervously. Peyton Sawyer. The girls knew each other from school but were never really friends. It wasn't like they had a problem with each other, they just ran in different crowds. Well, actually Peyton didn't run in any crowd these days. She used to be friends with all of the popular kids. But after her mother passed away last year she became distant. She stopped wanting to hang out, petty things were less important to her. They couldn't accept that, so they let her go. Now she was pretty much a loner.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I, I was coming to see my mom." She explained quickly.

"That's right, I remember hearing about that. It sucks, that she you know... died." Haley said sniffling and looking around helplessly. The girls stared at each other a moment before Peyton bust out in laughter. Haley looked at her as if she were crazy for a moment before she began chuckling herself. Soon Peyton was on the ground next to Haley, both of them laughing and crying hysterically.

"How inappropriate do you think that was? On a scale of one to ten." Peyton finally asked after their outburst was finished.

"12, at least." Haley answered looking down and playing with the zipper on her sweater.

"Sometimes I think something is broken inside of me. Like I don't react the way I'm supposed to anymore. Like I feel too many things at once." Peyton said softly.

"Like a tornado." Haley whispered nodding.

"Yeah. You said, you know, that it sucks that she was gone. And I just thought... it really does. And I started laughing because- well I'm not really sure why." Peyton shrugged.

"I think maybe, maybe that's the point. When someone we love dies, it's like we don't understand why. Why them, why then, why that way. So we start doing things and feeling things we don't understand." Haley said looking at Peyton, their eyes connecting. After a few moments things remained quiet.

"And apparently saying things that are hard to understand." Haley mumbled looking down embarrassed. She didn't really talk about her fathers death much. Lucas and Karen and all the guys were there for her, but she still didn't know how to talk about it. But, with Peyton it was like they understood each other.

"No! No, I get what you mean. I get exactly what you mean. It's like you're underwater and the waves are crashing and you don't know which way is up. It's like drowning." She said figuring it out more and more as she talked.

"Yeah, and the more you fight the waves, the deeper you go under." Haley added.

"You know, when I heard you, it was like you knew exactly how I felt. What you said to me, it was so- so real. I just, I felt like..." Peyton trailed off not knowing how to explain it.

"Like..." Haley prodded.

"Like I stopped fighting, I stopped going against the waves and just let myself be still. When we were laughing it was like I was floating back up again. I feel a little closer to the surface." She admitted.

"Earlier, you said I would be okay. Do you really believe that?" Haley asked her hopefully.

"Well, I don't know. I'm not usually the type to be optimistic. I mean look at me, I'm not okay. Not really. But maybe we'll get there... together?" She questioned.

"Yeah. No more drowning." Haley said confidently thrusting her hand out like people did in those cheesy TV shows. Smiling goofily Peyton slapped her hand over Haley's, Haley's other hand slapped on top, and then Peyton's. The girls spent the rest of the day talking about... everything.

End

Peyton and I became best friends. What? A girl can have more than one best friend. My list included Mouth, Skills, Fergie, Junk, Jimmy, and of course Peyton and Lucas. Lucas was more like my brother any how. My friends were quick to embrace Peyton, which was great. We needed another girl around anyway. The testosterone levels were through the roof. Going through the imperative teenage years with a girl by my side was definitely helpful as well. Despite my blossoming friendship with Peyton, my year still had a few curses left.

Just after New Years my mom got another new boyfriend. This one was the worst yet. Something happened, another thing I'm not ready to write about. Lucas, Karen, and Peyton are the only people who know the ENTIRE story. But I guess I'll be vague. Something happened and my moms boyfriend was sent to jail. My mom blamed me and took off. I tried to hide it and take care of myself. But that didn't last long, come on I was 14. Karen and Lucas insisted that I stay with them. I'll cut to the chase and say this. Karen Roe is the most warm hearted person I know. She petitioned for guardianship of me and I became an official member of the Roe household (Though I practically spent all my time there anyway).

I guess that's enough depressing stuff. My hand is cramping so I'll finish up. Hmmm... what's left. Loaded question much? I guess you should know about my love life a little. I dated this really amazing guy Jake all through freshman year. He is just about the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. He was my first everything. Well not kiss, that honor went to Skills. But yes, sweet little, tragic Haley had sex when she was 15. It was everything a girl would want her first time to be. Yes, I know I'm a corn ball. Sue me. Anyway, we split up right before 10th grade started. It was a mutual decision. No, really it was. We decided we thought of each other as friends, which is what we are to this day. Jake will always have a special place in my hear. He was my first love.

Then there is the not so special, not so loving Chris Keller. He showed up at the beginning of the school year. Like all the other girls, I was mesmerized by his musical talent. So I'm a sucker for guys with guitars (Jake could play), give me a break. We started seeing each other and things got intense pretty fast. Lucas and the rest of the guys were never big fans but, I liked him. That is until he left to go on tour. The actual tour thing wasn't the problem. We decided to stay together, but I guess things weren't all that clear. I went to visit him a few months into the tour when he was playing in Charlotte I found him in bed (or should I say on the floor) with not one, not two, but THREE naked girls. Needless to say that was the end of that. After that I spent the rest of the year single. I've been on a few dates, but nothing serious. Lucas always jokes that he's the only guys I'm serious about. What a dork.

Now I'm off to a performing arts camp for the summer. I've always wanted to go, but I couldn't afford to until this year. I'm nervous to leave Tree Hill and all of my friends. But, more than that I'm excited! I have a really great feeling that this is going to be a GREAT summer. Who knows what I'll find.

Later Schizo , Yours Truly - Haley James

Authors Note- Okay so that is the first chapter. I know that the whole thing was a diary entry, but trust me, that is not how the whole fic will be. Most chapters will have an entry but also be primarily devoted to actually plot lines. Also other characters will show up very soon. Nathan, Brook, ect will all play a large part in the story. I would love love love some feed back. Please stay tuned for an update! Thanks!