I Can't Do This
"Why are you making me do this?" Roy whispered. His sole focus was on the person before him, the man he had thought to be dead so many years before. Except...
He wasn't a man anymore.
Riza stood next to him, watching, trying to help him with his internal conflict. He was glad she was there. His mind was in turmoil, not knowing what to think, what to do, who to turn to for help. Everything was focused on this chimera.
"R-Roy..." was all it said.
Tears threatened to well in his eyes and he swallowed hard, felt Riza tighten her hold on his hand, saw her eyes glistening with tears as well. How could it have come to this? Was the military so rotten it would change one of its own into this... this creature? But this was more than some military friend, more than an aquaintence or a random person as the subject of this horror... no... it was much worse...
This was what was left of his father.
"I thought you were dead... they toldme you were dead!" he screamed, and he remembered.
He was only eight years old, his father was Fuhrer, what more could a boy ask for in a father? He was a State Alchemist, a much loved government official, he had been the reason for Amestres's golden years of prosperity, and he always had time, somehow, to come back home for his son. His mother had been a State Alchemist as well, though it was fraternizing, but she had died the year before from a plague, so it was just Roy, all alone in their mansion waiting for his father to come home.
He remembered the day as if it had been yesterday, the day that the man had explained that his father would never be coming home again.
His best friend, Maes Hughes, had come over to play that day, and they were in the backyard, discussing the great things that their fathers were doing for the country, all smiles and laughter. Roy could never play too roughly with Maes because he was afraid of breaking Maes's glasses, so they mainly played hide and go seek or tag.
That's when Maes's father came to the gate. He opened the back gate and called for the both of them to come, a grave look in his eyes, and Roy and Maes had obeyed. He had kneeled down to Roy's level and put his hands on Roy's shoulders."Roy... I know this will be hard... but your father isn't coming back home."
"B-but Daddy always comes back home! He'll be back soon, he's just late, that's all," Roy had said with conviction in his little voice. Maes nodded next to him. "Yeah! Mr.Mustang will come home, he's the strongest!"
"No... he went down in a bombing attempt in Central Park... They took him to the infirmary, but they said his injuries were too bad... Your daddy's gone Roy... he's not coming back."
"N-no! He'll come back! He will!"
"I'm sorry Roy... I couldn't protect him, I'm sorry..."
Maes looked at Roy. "Roy?" he touched his friend's shoulder but he said nothing.
"We should go home, Maes..."
"Then you weren't gone... you didn't die... and they turned you into this... thing!"
"Roy..."
"What do you want me to do, Dad, what do you want me to do?"
"K-kill... me..."
Roy's eyes widened. "I... I..."
"I... want to... die..."
"I... I..."
"But... he can't do that! He can't just kill you!" Riza burst out. "Maybe there's some way to change you back, any way!"
Roy had a haunted look on his face. "No... look at him... it's irreversable... did they... is this what happened to Mom, or did she really die of a plague?"
"No... her... too..."
"Damn it! Why?"
"Mama! You'll be okay, won't you? You're strong, you're an alchemist, you'll get better, won't you?" His mother stroked his hair and smiled a little. She was getting weaker every day... every day... she couldn't get out of bed anymore. His father was by her bedside every night, no matter what the chances were of getting caught. "I don't know... maybe..."
"Get better, okay?" he asked. She laughed a little and coughed. "I'll try, Roy... I'll try."
Then she was taken away to the infirmary, where they said they could treat her... but she never came back.
"I can't do this."
The chimera paced in a circle. It was cut and bleeding, gashes adorned its body as if it had tried to gouge itself to death. "Won't let... me die..."
"How can I? I can't just kill you! I can't do it!" His gloves dropped out of his hand onto the ground. "I can't..." Riza dropped her guns as well, to signal to Roy that she would do nothing as well. Tears dropped steadily from her bowed head."How can he? You're his father, he can't just... just..."
The chimera growled. "I am... to stay... like this?" it paced more and clawed at the air. "No... no more!"
"Dad..."
"Do it now!"
"You realize that one day I might not come back, don't you Roy?"
"Yeah..."
"You promise you won't... just stop... everything? You have to keep going, okay?"
"I promise."
"That's my boy... you'll be a great man when you grow up. I know it."
"Yeah! Just like you!"
"Heheh... just like me."
"I..."
The chimera pawed at his gloves. "Do it... then I'll... finally... have peace."
Roy bent down and picked them out of the chimera's mouth, hands shaking uncontrollably.
"Please... Roy..."
Roy looked at Riza. "You... you shouldn't watch." Riza picked up her guns and cocked them. "No, Roy... I'll do this with you..."
The chimera grinned a lopsided grin. "Thank you."
Roy turned his face away. "Goodbye... Father."
He snapped and Riza pulled the trigger.