Michi-chan: Konnichiwa! How are you all? Yes, this is a parody and humor! America's Funniest Home Videos, ham-ham style! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ehem... so enjoy!
Bob Saget: ((As a hamster) Walks on stage) Hamha!
Audience: Hamha!
Bob Saget: I'm guessing you all know today I'm not going to be doing the show!
Audience: Yes!
Bob Saget: But meet today's host of the show, Hamtaro!
Hamtaro: (Walks in) Hamha! I'm Hamtaro and welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos!
Audience: Wahoo!
Hamtaro: So, I'll be hosting today's show! Bob, you can go home!
Bob Saget: Oh yeah! (Jumps on a motorcycle) Cya later! (Drives away)
Hamtaro: Ok! So today you all must be wondering why Bob Saget isn't doing the show today! It's a funny story. So I was walking down the street to the café where I saw a ham wearing a hat. So you all know I hate ham-hams wearing large hats unless their name is Cappy so I pulled off his hat and it was the one and only Bob Saget. I could tell he was sad because he had this frown. (He frowns in a demented way. His left side of his mouth was cockeyed and looked like a mixture of a smile and an evil face)
Audience: Hahaha!
Hamtaro: Thanks, but seriously folks his face really looked like that! So then I asked him, "Bob, what happened?" and he said, "Duh! I haven't had a break from being on TV for a year and I want a vacation." So I said I'd do the show for him only if he never wore that hat again.
Audience: Hehehe!
Hamtaro: I don't see how that's funny but let's begin. (The screen fades and we suddenly see Maxwell and Sandy sitting on a dock)
Hamtaro: (Voice-over) I seriously fell sorry for poor Cappy!
Stan: (Sneakily walks on from the left) Ok, Cappy, now be quiet!
Cappy: (Voice-over) Okay!
Sandy: Maxwell... I... love you!
Maxwell: I love you, too.
Stan: (From behind them) Boo!
Maxwell: (Falls backward in the lake) Ahhhhh!
Sandy: (Dives forward into the lake) OMG!
Stan: (Laughs hysterically) Hahaha! You got that, Cappy? Tell me you got that!
Cappy: (Voice-over) Yeah! I got it!
Sandy: (Standing up from the knee high lake) Stan you are sooooooo dead! (Begins chasing him)
Stan: Run, Cappy, run! (The tape stops)
Hamtaro: (Walking across the stage) Hahaha! Well, poor Cappy didn't really run as fast as Stan so he sadly got attacked by a furious Sandy! Now he's still at home with a broken leg.
Audience: Hahaha!
Hamtaro: So, our next clip is from Boss when he was out filming a documentary and caught this by "accident" and decided to send it to us! (The screen fades and we see Oxnard hugging a sunflower seed)
Hamtaro: (Voice-over) Ok, this seriously creeped me out!
Boss: (Voice-over) Wait... what is this?
Oxnard: I love you seed...
Sunflower Seed: ...
Oxnard: You love me too!
Boss: (Voice-over) Oh my God! This is priceless!
Oxnard: Did you hear something?
Sunflower Seed: ...
Oxnard: (Looks over at Boss) AHHHHHH!
Sunflower Seed: ...
Oxnard: Seed here says you're so dead! (Throws the sunflower seed)
Boss: (Voice-over) And that's the end of the documentary! (Gets hit in the head with the seed) Ow!
Oxnard: What! (Tape ends)
Hamtaro: (About to fall over in laughter while the audience laughs wildly) Okay! Our next tape I got was sent in, or given as a gift to someone who sent it in, or maybe I stole it and decided to show it on TV but it is incredibly funny! (Screen fades)
Hamtaro: (Voice-over) Someone definitely stole his talent!
Stan: (Singing badly and pretending to play guitar) Oh... YEahYeAHyEAHYeaHYEAhyEah! Wahoo! Thank you San Francisco!
Sandy: (Voice-over) Hehehe!
Stan: Encore? Ok! (Pretends to play the guitar... again... and sings badly... again!) And then... they adore me... AND MY MUsIc!1!11
Sandy: (Voice-over) OMG! Bwahahahahaha! (The tape tumbles over and it sounds like Sandy fell on the ground laughing)
Stan: What! Sandy! What are...? Did you...? You're gonna die!
Sandy: Now we're even! (The sound of running fades and Hamtaro is seen picking up the video recorder)
Hamtaro: (Turns off the tape) We don't need to see that part! But now we have some commercials! See you after these messages! (Screen fades)
Hamster: (Voice-over) Next, a pig who can't remember his lines (Shows Herbert reading some paper) many soccer incidents (Shows Boss getting hit in the head with an acorn) and many more!
(Commercials appear!)
Ham announcer: Sunflower Cereal! All the taste of sunflower seeds in one convenient box! Moms think their healthy! Kids think their good! (You see a hamster mom reading nutrients labels and a hamster kid devouring a bowl full of it... seriously, the kid is eating the bowl with the cereal!) See! They have 12 extra vitamins and minerals to keep all hamsters looking healthy! They also have extra iron and protein! Now you may be thinking about all that fat, calories, and carbohydrates, right! Well, Sunflower Cereal's extreme reduce fat and calories can kick those worries out the door! So buy Sunflower Cereal today and have a good morning!
(Next Commercial)
Ham Guy: They adore me... and my MUSIC!
Ham Girl: Hey, what are you listening to?
Ham Guy: Only the best singer ever! (Takes off head-phones)
Ham Girl: Oh yeah? Who is it?
Ham Guy: Stan!
Ham Girl: AH! (Screams loudly) O my gosh! He is the best! I love him to death! (Screen changes to a blue background with some odd, misspelled words on it)
Stan: (Voice-over) If you love me, my band, or me you're in luck! I just put my album on the market. It's just 12 easy installments of $3,000.95. You can order yours at um SOMETHING or call 1-800-555-Stan-is-cooler-than-you-will-ever-be-nerd-5555555 (and some more fives)! So remember to order yours today! (A/n: Don't seriously try that web page and phone number, they aren't real! Any phone number with '555' in it isn't really a phone number and I made sure the website wasn't real both by checking if it was real and by making it sooooooo weird it would be impossible to actually have that webpage!)
(Next Commercial)
A hamster on screen: Are you tired of flu medicines never working?
Melissa: Yup! (Coughs)
Hamster: Are you tired of never getting a good night's sleep because of non-drowsy medicines?
Melissa: Yup! (Sneezes)
Hamster: (Walks next to Melissa) Then you, Melissa, need the new Hamster Care for Mice, gerbils, guinea pigs, and other rodents! for colds and flues! In no time you'll feel great! It also doesn't just heal flues and colds but head aches, pneumonia, ear infections, pink eye, any throat problems, and dehydration!
Lady Ham: (Voice-over) Hamster Care for Mice, gerbils, guinea pigs, and other rodents! isn't for everybody! (Show the weird hamster and Melissa jogging on a path) Some side affects are chicken-pox (If hamsters can even get them!) stomach aches, Strep Throat, or fainting. If you are a smoker or second hand smoke than other side affects are heart attack, heart cancer, lung cancer, many different problems with you're arm like it's always twitching or something. Ask you doctor about Care for Mice, gerbils, guinea pigs, and other rodents! and begin feeling good!
Michi-chanAKANumbuh34: Funny stuff! Review, give me ideas, flames are for campfires and birthday cake candles! Yum... cake... There next chapter will be coming soon... hopefully...