The Affairs of Mishima Manor
A/N: Yes, I have a bad reputation with Tekken and lost interest in it for a very long time, but now I've gotten interest again.
Chapter 1
And so it was another day of Mishima Manor as it was morning time. Jun was cooking scrambled eggs with bacon (don't we all love bacon?).
Lee quietly smoked outside, as for his girlfriend screamed at him in the phone and they were about to break up.
Kazuya was drinking beer in the kitchen, waiting for Jun to finished making scrambled eggs and bacon.
Jin was playing video games, and he was playing Spyro the Dragon, the first one... when he had a PS2, and would buy the PS3 as soon as it came out. He had all the PSMs in America... or Japan.
"Must beat this god damn... hippy," said Jin. Jun could hear him. "JIN!! DON'T SWEAR GOD!!! GO TO CHURCH NOW!!!"
"NO!!" screamed Jin.
"DO WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!!!" screamed Kazuya. "FINE!!" screamed Jin back, he saved his game and turned it off. Heihachi came down the stairs, wearing his sumo outfit... or the one in Tekken 4, which is like thong.
"HAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Kazuya, pointed at Heihachi. "You're wearing diapers you old fart!" Lee then came into the kitchen, and also laughed.
"KAZUYA AND LEE! Stop laughing at your father. Now go to church and forgive your sins!" exclaimed Jun. "Or I'll smack this pan with you."
"Smacking me with a pan is a sin, Jun," said Kazuya.
"I have rights to. God allowed me to smack you with a pan!" exclaimed Jun.
"Eh... okay," said Kazuya. He then left the mansion with Lee.
"Thanks Jun! Say... want to go out on a little date?" asked Heihachi, being a pervert.
"NO WAY!!" screamed Jun. "YOU PERVERT!!" Jun then smacked Heihachi with a pan.
"Ouch," said Heihachi.
So on the road to Church
Jin went into Hwoarang's house, or Bob's house. "All right Hwoarang, I'll go to your rap battle," said Jin as he entered Hwoarang's room.
"Seriously? Awesome!" exclaimed Hwoarang. "I'll have the best rap ever!! So, how's it going with Ling?"
"Fine," answered Jin. "We've been fine. You and Julia?"
"Great! She hasn't figured it out that I'm a druggie!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"That's going to be a great issue when she finds out," said Jin. "Oh shit!" exclaimed Jin. "Duck!" Jin then ducked down, the same with Hwoarang.
"What?" asked Hwoarang. "My dad and uncle. They passed by the house... I'm so screwed!" answered Jin.
"Where were you supposed to go anyways?" asked Hwoarang.
"I was supposed to go to church and forgive my sins. Then they'll notice and tell on Jun! Then she'll take my video games. I am so screwed," said Jin.
"I have a great idea," said Hwoarang. "You say you ran to church and ran back, then went to my house!"
"Great idea. But they'd see me, won't they?" asked Jin.
"Yeah, but then you'll say you went to church and went into my house! It's that simple," said Hwoarang.
"Damn, you keep doing that and you'll be a negotiator," said Jin. "That should be your job."
"Yep, but I'm just a dealer, a rapper, and a druggie!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"With a job at C-Town," said Jin.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Hwoarang. They then got up. "So tonight's the battle?" asked Jin. "Yep, you better fucking be there you asshole!" exclaimed Hwoarang. Jin then punched Hwoarang's face, which then punched Jin's face back.
"FUCK!!" screamed Jin. "Where the fuck do I cover up this bruise?" asked Jin, who got a bruise from Hwoarang.
"You go to the bathroom and put mask on it," said Hwoarang.
"Great idea!" exclaimed Jin, he went to the bathroom and putted mask on his face. "I'll just say I want to look good for tonight!"
"Yeah!!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"But now, I must go!" exclaimed Jin, he then left the house and went to his mansion.
Back at the mansion
"So Jin... forgave your sins?" asked Jun, unnoticing the mask on Jun's face.
"Yes mother," said Jin. He went back to playing video games.
So with Lee and Kazuya
"So why are we going to Namco?" asked Kazuya.
"Nina owns Namco," said Lee.
"DAMN!!" screamed Kazuya. They were in front of Namco Headquarters.
"What?" asked Lee.
"If Nina owns Namco, then she can make Tekken all about herself!!" exclaimed Kazuya.
"Actually she's making Namco make a Nina game, and would kill them if they wouldn't do so," said Lee.
"Damn she's good..." Kazuya stopped and pondered. Lee lighted up a cigarette. "What?" asked Lee.
"I think... I think your thinking that I'm thinking that you're thinking that I'm thinking your thinking about me thinking something about be thinking I'm thinking about you!" exclaimed Kazuya. "GOD DAMN YOU LEE!!!" Kazuya then did an EWGF on Lee.
"BITCH!!!" screamed Lee.
The door then opened with Anna coming out of it... Anna was badly bruised and had lots of blood on her. And she was half naked.
"Wow," said Lee. Kazuya and Lee just stared at Anna.
"What the fuck are you looking at? Call the hospital... that god damn Nina almost killed me!" exclaimed Anna.
"YAY!!!" screamed Lee and Kazuya, they ran inside Namco Headquarters, and caught up with Nina.
"HURRY UP WITH THAT GAME FUCKERS BEFORE I SLICE ALL YOUR HEADS OFF!!" screamed Nina.
"Uh... Nina," said Lee. Nina then looked at Lee.
"Oh... it's you. Okay guys, there's a rap battle tonight. And I want you guys to my bodyguards. Why? The gangs are totally gonna kick my ass, and I won't live to see my Nina game!!" exclaimed Nina.
"Uh... okay," the two replied.
"Now, bring your shotgun Kazuya, and Lee, bring your flamethrowers. We're gonna kick some ass," said Nina. The two then went back to Mishima Manor.
"Jin, why the fuck are you wearing mask?" asked Kazuya as he went inside the mansion.
'Fuck,' thought Jin.
"Um... I want to look good for Ling tonight," said Jin.
"WHAT THE FUCK? HAVE YOU BEEN GOING OUT WITH THAT GOD DAMN CHINESE DAUGHTER OF A WHORE?" screamed Kazuya.
"That's offensive Kazuya! GO TO CHURCH NOW!!" screamed Jun. "Yes Junikins," said Kazuya. He ran out of the house and 10 minutes later ran back in.
"Back Junikins!" exclaimed Kazuya. By then Jin washed the mask off his face.
"JIN!!! ARE YOU HAVING ACME AGAIN?" screamed Kazuya.
"Yes, daddy! I must go back to playing Tekken four!" exclaimed Jin. Jin then was playing Tekken 4, and was using game shark. Kazuya saw Jin kicking his characters ass...
"THAT'S IT JIN!! YOUR ASS IS GOING DOWN!!!" screamed Kazuya.
"Stop the fucking noise!" exclaimed Heihachi. "That's it Lee, we're playing video games!!"
Heihachi inserted the port controller and began fighting each other in the mysterious Tekken 4 four knock out session..., which only the Tekken characters can have.
"DIEEEEEEE!" screamed Kazuya, his character did a Bitch Kick on Heihachi, and then did a TGF on him. "I'M KAZUYA MISHIMA BITCH!!!" screamed Kazuya. Lee then was kicking Jin's ass, which was busy kicking Kazuya's ass, which was blocking all of his attacks.
Heihachi was busy kicking Lee's ass, and the fight continued on forever and for ages.
"THAT'S IT!! ACTIVATE THE GAME SHARK!!" screamed Kazuya, his character turned into devil.
"Suckers!!" exclaimed Kazuya.
"Activate the game shark!!" exclaimed Lee. Lee then could block every attack and could seriously kick everyone's ass.
"Active the sheer dolphin!!" exclaimed Heihachi. "Damn... uh... what's it called?"
"GAME SHARK!!!" screamed Jin, his game shark was activated and he was now Super Jin!
"Ah, yes. DIMENSION THE SHARK!!" screamed Heihachi, his character got huge and super powerful... and turned to Toshin Heihachi. "FEAR!!!" He then kicked everyone's ass.
"SHIT!!" screamed Jin, Lee, and Kazuya. "MERGE OF THE THREE!!!"
Jin, Lee, and Kazuya's character merged, and kicked Heihachi's ass.
"YES!!" the three of them cheered.
"GOD DAMN YOU!!" screamed Heihachi.
"HEIHACHI YOU OLD FART!! GO TO CHURCH!!!" screamed Jun.
"Yes Jun!" exclaimed Heihachi, he went outside and went to Baek and farted on him. Heihachi giggled and went back to the house.
"Back!" exclaimed Heihachi.
"HEIHACHI YOU FUCKING OLD FART!!" screamed Baek as he barged into the mansion.
"DIEEEEE!" screamed Baek, he stole Kazuya's shotgun, and pointed it at Heihachi's private place.
"ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!" screamed Heihachi.
"You're going down fucker!!" screamed Baek, he pulled the trigger.
"YEEEEEESSSS!" screamed Kazuya and Lee. "HE'S FINALLY INJURED!!! NOW HE'LL DIE!!"
"G-god... d-da-damn... y-you," said Heihachi, almost dying.
"YAY!!" screamed Kazuya and Lee.
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Jun as she went into the room, she called 911 and instantly the ambulance came and drove Heihachi to the hospital. The cops also came and arrested Baek.
"You don't have a license asshole!" exclaimed a police officer.
"AHHHHH!" screamed Baek as he was sent to prison for 2 days.
"I hope he dies," whispered Kazuya to Lee. "Our piece of shit dad..."
"Yeah," whispered Lee back.
"KAZUYA!!!" screamed Jun.
End of Chapter 1
A/N: Yes, I have a bad reputation with Tekken and lost interest in it for a very long time, but now I've gotten interest again.
Chapter 1
And so it was another day of Mishima Manor as it was morning time. Jun was cooking scrambled eggs with bacon (don't we all love bacon?).
Lee quietly smoked outside, as for his girlfriend screamed at him in the phone and they were about to break up.
Kazuya was drinking beer in the kitchen, waiting for Jun to finished making scrambled eggs and bacon.
Jin was playing video games, and he was playing Spyro the Dragon, the first one... when he had a PS2, and would buy the PS3 as soon as it came out. He had all the PSMs in America... or Japan.
"Must beat this god damn... hippy," said Jin. Jun could hear him. "JIN!! DON'T SWEAR GOD!!! GO TO CHURCH NOW!!!"
"NO!!" screamed Jin.
"DO WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!!!" screamed Kazuya. "FINE!!" screamed Jin back, he saved his game and turned it off. Heihachi came down the stairs, wearing his sumo outfit... or the one in Tekken 4, which is like thong.
"HAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Kazuya, pointed at Heihachi. "You're wearing diapers you old fart!" Lee then came into the kitchen, and also laughed.
"KAZUYA AND LEE! Stop laughing at your father. Now go to church and forgive your sins!" exclaimed Jun. "Or I'll smack this pan with you."
"Smacking me with a pan is a sin, Jun," said Kazuya.
"I have rights to. God allowed me to smack you with a pan!" exclaimed Jun.
"Eh... okay," said Kazuya. He then left the mansion with Lee.
"Thanks Jun! Say... want to go out on a little date?" asked Heihachi, being a pervert.
"NO WAY!!" screamed Jun. "YOU PERVERT!!" Jun then smacked Heihachi with a pan.
"Ouch," said Heihachi.
So on the road to Church
Jin went into Hwoarang's house, or Bob's house. "All right Hwoarang, I'll go to your rap battle," said Jin as he entered Hwoarang's room.
"Seriously? Awesome!" exclaimed Hwoarang. "I'll have the best rap ever!! So, how's it going with Ling?"
"Fine," answered Jin. "We've been fine. You and Julia?"
"Great! She hasn't figured it out that I'm a druggie!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"That's going to be a great issue when she finds out," said Jin. "Oh shit!" exclaimed Jin. "Duck!" Jin then ducked down, the same with Hwoarang.
"What?" asked Hwoarang. "My dad and uncle. They passed by the house... I'm so screwed!" answered Jin.
"Where were you supposed to go anyways?" asked Hwoarang.
"I was supposed to go to church and forgive my sins. Then they'll notice and tell on Jun! Then she'll take my video games. I am so screwed," said Jin.
"I have a great idea," said Hwoarang. "You say you ran to church and ran back, then went to my house!"
"Great idea. But they'd see me, won't they?" asked Jin.
"Yeah, but then you'll say you went to church and went into my house! It's that simple," said Hwoarang.
"Damn, you keep doing that and you'll be a negotiator," said Jin. "That should be your job."
"Yep, but I'm just a dealer, a rapper, and a druggie!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"With a job at C-Town," said Jin.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Hwoarang. They then got up. "So tonight's the battle?" asked Jin. "Yep, you better fucking be there you asshole!" exclaimed Hwoarang. Jin then punched Hwoarang's face, which then punched Jin's face back.
"FUCK!!" screamed Jin. "Where the fuck do I cover up this bruise?" asked Jin, who got a bruise from Hwoarang.
"You go to the bathroom and put mask on it," said Hwoarang.
"Great idea!" exclaimed Jin, he went to the bathroom and putted mask on his face. "I'll just say I want to look good for tonight!"
"Yeah!!" exclaimed Hwoarang.
"But now, I must go!" exclaimed Jin, he then left the house and went to his mansion.
Back at the mansion
"So Jin... forgave your sins?" asked Jun, unnoticing the mask on Jun's face.
"Yes mother," said Jin. He went back to playing video games.
So with Lee and Kazuya
"So why are we going to Namco?" asked Kazuya.
"Nina owns Namco," said Lee.
"DAMN!!" screamed Kazuya. They were in front of Namco Headquarters.
"What?" asked Lee.
"If Nina owns Namco, then she can make Tekken all about herself!!" exclaimed Kazuya.
"Actually she's making Namco make a Nina game, and would kill them if they wouldn't do so," said Lee.
"Damn she's good..." Kazuya stopped and pondered. Lee lighted up a cigarette. "What?" asked Lee.
"I think... I think your thinking that I'm thinking that you're thinking that I'm thinking your thinking about me thinking something about be thinking I'm thinking about you!" exclaimed Kazuya. "GOD DAMN YOU LEE!!!" Kazuya then did an EWGF on Lee.
"BITCH!!!" screamed Lee.
The door then opened with Anna coming out of it... Anna was badly bruised and had lots of blood on her. And she was half naked.
"Wow," said Lee. Kazuya and Lee just stared at Anna.
"What the fuck are you looking at? Call the hospital... that god damn Nina almost killed me!" exclaimed Anna.
"YAY!!!" screamed Lee and Kazuya, they ran inside Namco Headquarters, and caught up with Nina.
"HURRY UP WITH THAT GAME FUCKERS BEFORE I SLICE ALL YOUR HEADS OFF!!" screamed Nina.
"Uh... Nina," said Lee. Nina then looked at Lee.
"Oh... it's you. Okay guys, there's a rap battle tonight. And I want you guys to my bodyguards. Why? The gangs are totally gonna kick my ass, and I won't live to see my Nina game!!" exclaimed Nina.
"Uh... okay," the two replied.
"Now, bring your shotgun Kazuya, and Lee, bring your flamethrowers. We're gonna kick some ass," said Nina. The two then went back to Mishima Manor.
"Jin, why the fuck are you wearing mask?" asked Kazuya as he went inside the mansion.
'Fuck,' thought Jin.
"Um... I want to look good for Ling tonight," said Jin.
"WHAT THE FUCK? HAVE YOU BEEN GOING OUT WITH THAT GOD DAMN CHINESE DAUGHTER OF A WHORE?" screamed Kazuya.
"That's offensive Kazuya! GO TO CHURCH NOW!!" screamed Jun. "Yes Junikins," said Kazuya. He ran out of the house and 10 minutes later ran back in.
"Back Junikins!" exclaimed Kazuya. By then Jin washed the mask off his face.
"JIN!!! ARE YOU HAVING ACME AGAIN?" screamed Kazuya.
"Yes, daddy! I must go back to playing Tekken four!" exclaimed Jin. Jin then was playing Tekken 4, and was using game shark. Kazuya saw Jin kicking his characters ass...
"THAT'S IT JIN!! YOUR ASS IS GOING DOWN!!!" screamed Kazuya.
"Stop the fucking noise!" exclaimed Heihachi. "That's it Lee, we're playing video games!!"
Heihachi inserted the port controller and began fighting each other in the mysterious Tekken 4 four knock out session..., which only the Tekken characters can have.
"DIEEEEEEE!" screamed Kazuya, his character did a Bitch Kick on Heihachi, and then did a TGF on him. "I'M KAZUYA MISHIMA BITCH!!!" screamed Kazuya. Lee then was kicking Jin's ass, which was busy kicking Kazuya's ass, which was blocking all of his attacks.
Heihachi was busy kicking Lee's ass, and the fight continued on forever and for ages.
"THAT'S IT!! ACTIVATE THE GAME SHARK!!" screamed Kazuya, his character turned into devil.
"Suckers!!" exclaimed Kazuya.
"Activate the game shark!!" exclaimed Lee. Lee then could block every attack and could seriously kick everyone's ass.
"Active the sheer dolphin!!" exclaimed Heihachi. "Damn... uh... what's it called?"
"GAME SHARK!!!" screamed Jin, his game shark was activated and he was now Super Jin!
"Ah, yes. DIMENSION THE SHARK!!" screamed Heihachi, his character got huge and super powerful... and turned to Toshin Heihachi. "FEAR!!!" He then kicked everyone's ass.
"SHIT!!" screamed Jin, Lee, and Kazuya. "MERGE OF THE THREE!!!"
Jin, Lee, and Kazuya's character merged, and kicked Heihachi's ass.
"YES!!" the three of them cheered.
"GOD DAMN YOU!!" screamed Heihachi.
"HEIHACHI YOU OLD FART!! GO TO CHURCH!!!" screamed Jun.
"Yes Jun!" exclaimed Heihachi, he went outside and went to Baek and farted on him. Heihachi giggled and went back to the house.
"Back!" exclaimed Heihachi.
"HEIHACHI YOU FUCKING OLD FART!!" screamed Baek as he barged into the mansion.
"DIEEEEE!" screamed Baek, he stole Kazuya's shotgun, and pointed it at Heihachi's private place.
"ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!" screamed Heihachi.
"You're going down fucker!!" screamed Baek, he pulled the trigger.
"YEEEEEESSSS!" screamed Kazuya and Lee. "HE'S FINALLY INJURED!!! NOW HE'LL DIE!!"
"G-god... d-da-damn... y-you," said Heihachi, almost dying.
"YAY!!" screamed Kazuya and Lee.
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Jun as she went into the room, she called 911 and instantly the ambulance came and drove Heihachi to the hospital. The cops also came and arrested Baek.
"You don't have a license asshole!" exclaimed a police officer.
"AHHHHH!" screamed Baek as he was sent to prison for 2 days.
"I hope he dies," whispered Kazuya to Lee. "Our piece of shit dad..."
"Yeah," whispered Lee back.
"KAZUYA!!!" screamed Jun.
End of Chapter 1