Okay, so here I stand, waiting for Heidi, because until she brings in the humans for the rest of the coven I can't go out and eat. It's really annoying because Aro figures that if I stand in a room of humans and inhale deeply then I might find them appetizing. All I smell is each person's scent, and it's not very appealing. Some people might come in and smell like flowers, but it didn't matter because I don't find humans appetizing. Aro didn't even get that after fifty years.
Maybe I should go back a little? When I couldn't him, I ran to the airport to get a flight to Italy, but then I changed my mind, and I searched all the places the Cullen's could possibly be.
I never found them.
After four months of searching, I finally went to the Volturi. When I got there I had developed another power. I was able to put a shield over my mind, and read peoples thoughts like him, but it required a lot of concentration and effort. By the time, I got to Italy, I was a mess, and I was looking forward to having them tear me apart.
They wouldn't kill me.
I used the most colorful language I could think of. My exact words were,
"You bloody motherfucking vampire Aro! Why won't you kill me? Damnit you filthy piece of bull-shit!"
I laugh at it now, but at the time I was so angry, upset, and hurt that I was not going to put up with know-it-all-vampire-who-thinks-he-rules-the-world. But he told me that I wasn't going to be killed, because he just valued my powers and it would be a shame to commit suicide. Well, when I'm in one of my moods, suicide always, seems like the best option.
You see, now I have a new ring on my finger. The new ring on my finger belongs to the Volturi. Its shows that I'm a part of them, but it just a fashion stunt Heidi had pulled, because she was bored, and Aro used it as a sign of loyalty. That man had serious issues with loyalty…like me.
I kept Edward's ring on for a long time, 45 years. I was a widow. I mean a widow is someone who's lost their husband right? Yeah well I've lost mine twice. Well he wasn't my husband the first time I lost him. And so in my head, I'm a widow. I think it's really messed up. To everyone else, I'm the hot, depressed chick, with a husband who ran away from her. Everyone thinks that their might be something wrong with me that made him run away. But I know that's not true. It wasn't me, it was him. I think that the love just died out. It's pretty ironic. My mom told me to never get married before I was thirty. She was right. Renee and Charlie's love had died. At least Renee's had. Charlie still loved my mother, or had loved my mother. He passed away ten years after I disappeared. In my situation I wasn't sure who I was. Was I Charlie? Whose love hadn't died? Or was I Renee, the one who moved on with her life?
I had forgiven Edward a long time ago. I let him go, and the reason I took off his ring was that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I was going to move on with my life.
The love died. He could still love me for all I care. I didn't love him anymore.
So I was Renee, and I knew that.
But why did I feel that some part of me was like Charlie?