Gong
I'm getting tired of following your shadow. Of being looking for you everyday, just to see you loving him, don't even realizing how much hurt you cause. To me and to yourself. Tricked by your own lies, that's how you are and will be, because you want to. You've fallen to his spell and can't get away from it, his eyes have bewitched you, you fell to his feet.
He has ignored you one more time and you've come back after begging for forgiveness. He should as you for it! But as always, you've believed his lies, and your own, is this going to end soon?
I don't want to see you cry anymore, I don't want to see you sink yourself in this way, to see you crawl for a spark of love in his eyes. You always think you get some, even the tiniest sign of it, or that everyday you've gotten a smirk or that he's being nicer to you. Lies. Everything is a lie, when will you realize?
Of you, out of everyone, I've fallen in love with you; the idiot, the clueless, the prideful blasphemer, the pompous guy of the fake smile. When are your lies going to stop?
I know that you were visiting him, you don't have to lie to me, get home with a stupid goofy smile on your lips, saying that you found some delinquents at the store, that that's why you have a black eye. Ha! Yeah right, I know he did that to you.
You've let yourself get hurt again, and me too, for letting you believe that I believed you.
Why do I have to take your complaints? Have I done something to deserve them? I don't want to listen you talk about him, Isn't it normal then, to tell you to shut your stupid mouth up? I really despise you, you're obnoxious, so noisy and you're stupidity goes far beyond the limit.
Why?
Why, tell me?
Why have I fallen in love with you then?!
When the night comes and the wind blows behind the window, I can hear you nagging through my door. You're drunk again and complaining about how the "love of your life" treats you. Pathetic.
If I hate you so much that you seem repulsive to me, why do I have this huge urge to hug you and let you cry on my chest? If I want my liberty more than anything, why do I want to imprison myself in this way with you? And now that you sleep in my arms, exhausted and overtaken by the alcohol, I can't deny myself to caress your cheek. I smile unconsciously, and when I realize it, I take my hand away immediately, your skin burns me. I gnash my teeth. I hate you for making me feel like this.
How can I explain it? It's overwhelming. A love and a hate so strong, so big, that reaches repugnance. But it's there, nested in my chest, coloring my cheeks everytime that I see you, feeling the loud heartbeats that reverberate in my ears and a bitter taste in my mouth. Word that never come out, a feeling that I abhor.
Years ago, or centuries really, I would never have imagined to feel in the edge of two opposite emotions, with a palpitating sensation of vulnerability and my own pride eating me from inside, all, all because of you.
Stupid obnoxious dane.
How much I hate you.
How much I love you.