Father Son Bonding

One day on planet Vegeta, Bardock woke up in his bed one morning feeling poor.

"POOR!", he thought, "Why should I feel poor. I have two healthy growing boys; I got my own crib; and I'm the leader of my own crew."

But then Bardock began to think harder.

"I have two annoying boys; I live in a four room apartment (one bathroom, one bedroom, a kitchen, and a living-room); and me and my crew are labeled as low-level soldiers."

Then Bardock began to think even more harder.

"I have two VERY annoying boys; me and my son share a fucking bunk bed ; and out of my five men crew (besides me) I only like two (Tora and Fasha). The rest can be very annoying." But as Bardock was thinking, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound that annoys him the most.

"Raditz", mumbled Bardock as he was kicking the roof of his bottom bunk bed to wake up Raditz, "RADITZ, WAKE UP RADITZ!" he yelled, " Your damn brother is crying again."

"Yeah", mumbled a sleepy, 15-year-old Raditz , "And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to get off your lazy ass and push your headache giving, god damn crying baby brothers crib into the living room so I can get some fucking sleep!", an angry Bardock ordered, while placing his pillow over his head.

A tired Raditz climbed down from his top bunk bed and did as his father demanded, with no complaints. As he walked back into the one bedroom, he was sure to shut the door, to block out Kakarots never-ending hollering. But as Raditz climbed back into his top bunk bed and got comfortable, a pissed off Bardock startled him.

"Ah… , what the fuck do you think you're doing", Bardock said sounding pissed, "It's a Friday morning! It's a Friday morning and you're trying to sleep! It's a Friday morning and you're trying to sleep while I fucking STARVE to death! Me, the only one who makes the fucking money around here STARVE! Me, the only…"

"Okay dad", a sleepy Raditz mumbled, interrupting Bardocks angry speech, "I'll get up and make us some breakfast.", he said as he jumped off his bed and ran out the door, slamming it, as he was trying to avoid his father starting up his speech again.

"Dumbass", mumbled a sleepy Bardock.

"Dick", said a pissed Raditz, trying to stop his brothers crying, so he can make breakfast for all three of the hungry, grouchy Saiyans in peace.

About 15 minutes later, Raditz had gotten Kakarot to stop crying.

Bardock noticed how Kakarot stopped his crying, so with both the boys out of the room he decided to go back to his thoughts.

"So where was I?… Oh yeah I'm poor. Lets think how I can change that. I can't make my boys less annoying, so I'm going to have to live with that. And my crew ain't that bad, in fact we're better than low-levels. Yeah, it's just that if your labeled as low-levels, you get paid like a low-level and Frieza doesn't have retesting for your level until another five years. And that's the reason why I have a shitty apartment, because of my shitty pay. So, is there away to change that?

Bardock began to think harder.

"I feel poor because I need more money… Of course, more money is what I need and I need it NOW! But how? Another job? But I'm only good at fighting, like everybody else. Oh man! Now I wish I didn't listen to my dad and dropped out of school and got an early job to help pay bills… Hay, I could have Raditz do like I did and get a job instead of that education stuff. Besides, it doesn't seem to me that the education stuff is doing him any good. The boy's a dumbass! Don't get that from my side off the family… Nope, not at all." (That's what he thinks!)

Bardock began to think even more harder.

"No, like I said he's a dumbass, he'll probably fuck that up. Besides he's to busy cooking and cleaning, and taking care of his baby brother. And he really needs school, I guess it helps to have a little education… Wait that's it! We can sell that damn headache giving, crying all the time Kakarot! He don't do nothing to help no way. Six-month-old, my ass. Grow some balls and suck it up… Wait, who wants to buy a baby? Man, I can't think straight when I'm hungry. Why is Raditz taking so long, I never thought so hard in my life. But I'm thinking about my life… My life sucks, my kids lives suck, I suck! Well… no I don't. Do I?"

Bardock sat up in bed and thought to him self out loud.

"Wait that's it! I know what to do. I just go to King Vegeta and tell him I want a raise! He knows that me and my crew have been working hard lately! I mean we've been conquering two planets every month! He'll have to say yes! And if I go there by myself, instead of with my crew, he'll say yes if it's just me! Sorry guys but I need the extra cash."

So, how did I do? Was it funny? Should I go on? To much swearing? Let me know.