Author notes: This is another reconciliation fic. It kinda ran with me. Originally I just wanted to rewrite the kiss scene at Rachel's house, give some perspective on what was going through Kurt's mind at the time, then I somehow incorporated the Blainofsky break-up scene into it too and added a dash of "drama" as I call it, because I'm such a drama queen and of course a bit of smut, because duh ;) Enjoy.
It was a Saturday evening, the night of Rachel's big farewell party. Kurt and Blaine were walking side by side up the stairs of her house, headed for the front door. It seemed to Kurt as if they were in slow-motion - almost like both of them were dragging their feet, trying to postpone the inevitable. Or maybe Kurt was projecting, because that was exactly what he was doing - and Blaine was probably just keeping pace with him. It was silent between them, but they were walking so close that they were almost touching. Kurt had to put his hands in his pockets because he was afraid that if he didn't, he would try to take Blaine's hand and he wasn't sure how his ex would react to that. Blaine wasn't single, so he would probably not take it well.
He kissed you, even if he wasn't single, a tiny voice in his head reminded him. That was only because Sue forced him. He said as much, another voice countered. Yeah, but you said the same thing and we all know you were lying your ass off, a third one chimed in.
Kurt still wanted his ex-fiance back so badly. Blaine continued to be the main reason Kurt stayed in Lima. Being a director for the Glee club was just a convenient excuse. He really owed Rachel for offering him the gig. If she hadn't, he would have been forced back to New York, he simply couldn't risk his spot at NYADA. His whole future depended on that school and he had fought too hard to get in - to just throw it all away. He wasn't Rachel.
His heart wanted to argue that he also had no future without his lost love, but his head forced him to think realistically and to be practical. Because he wasn't Blaine either, he couldn't allow himself to lose everything he had worked for, because of a break-up. He had lost too much already, because of his own stupidity. He wouldn't give up his education as well. Wasn't it enough that he gave up on his relationship?
To be frank, he had never expected this scenario. He had flown out on a Friday after classes, expecting to be back in the city by Sunday – preferably with Blaine in tow – or at least with them being back together. He certainly hadn't expected his former fiance to move on from him, despite the fact that Blaine had every right to do exactly that - after what Kurt did to him. It was a wake-up call and it had felt like being dumped in icy water. Kurt deserved it though. He knew now how naive the whole idea of just showing up and making Blaine forgive him with the snap of his fingers and a few empty words had been. Understood now, how much he had taken Blaine's devotion to him for granted in the first place, when he could actually think it would be that easy to begin with. He felt shameful, but he was still determined to make it up to Blaine - to fix this somehow. If only his ex would let him instead of placing huge obstacles...like say...ex-football players between them.
He wondered if Blaine was planning on going back to New York at some point. He knew that Karofsky was stuck in Ohio, so that could be Kurt's way back in. However, this prospect didn't look very promising considering that Blaine had actually moved in with Karofsky and otherwise made no indication that he was planning on returning to the Big Apple anytime soon - or ever.
Why would he? The voice was back. All you did since he arrived there was pick fights with him over the smallest things. He probably doesn't have a lot of great memories of New York.
Kurt let out a tiny inaudible sigh and tried to push those thoughts away. He still harbored hope that he could win Blaine back; despite Karofsky and despite how he had messed everything up. He knew Blaine was hurt, but he also knew that the curly-haired man was capable of incredible forgiveness. He had a big heart. A heart that Blaine had sworn multiple times would only ever belong to Kurt. Despite how the situation looked right now, Kurt still held on to that promise.
So he waited. Waited for Blaine to be ready. Waited for his ex to give him a sign that it was okay to make a move. Because right now with Blaine dating someone else, it wouldn't be right. He didn't want to be that guy. The guy who disrespects the relationships of others. No matter how wrong he thought Blaine and Dave were for each other or how much he wanted Blaine back, he couldn't make himself do it. He had more integrity than that.
You shouldn't take the high road, the voice advised him as he watched the man beside him out the corner of his eye. You don't owe Karofsky a damn thing. You should steal Blaine away from him, consider it cosmic karma for all the shit he put you through. Kurt really wanted to silence that annoying inner monologue, but it droned on. Besides, you had him first, so isn't it more a case of taking back whats yours, rather than stealing?
"Oh my God, shut up." He whispered to himself, but he wasn't quiet enough.
"Did you say something?" Blaine stopped halfway up the stairs to look at him.
"What? No." Kurt lied. "Must have been voices from downstairs you heard."
"Right..." Blaine tilted his head in a way that told Kurt that he obviously didn't believe him, but thankfully his ex didn't push the subject further and instead began climbing the stairs again. Kurt followed.
The party was still going strong, everyone was having a great time. But they didn't get out of hand like the last time Rachel threw a party. This time Blaine didn't drink a lot and was actually capable of making it up the stairs by himself without having to lean on Kurt. For which Kurt was both grateful and disappointed. He had no reason to be there right now, he knew that - and Blaine knew that. But Kurt wanted to see him out. If he was honest with himself, he didn't want Blaine to leave. He wasn't ready to let his former fiance walk out the door, not when they were finally on good terms, without the awkwardness. Not when they were making progress. He wanted to enjoy this as long as he could. Because whatever it was that made them so great together, whatever it was that created that magic chemistry he had felt the very first time they had sung together and which they had unfortunately lost at some point down the road - it was back tonight in full force. They had performed an amazing cover of "Somebody Loves You" and it felt wrong to quit now when they had just found their rhythm again. When Blaine opened the door and stepped outside, Kurt said as much.
"You sure you have to go? Doesn't sound like we're done in there?"
"I wish I could..." Blaine started. "But Dave and I..." Kurt tuned the rest of the sentence out. As soon as Karofsky's name fell from Blaine's lips, it made him sick. Just like back in the elevator. Just like every other time his name came up. Although it wasn't as bad as actually watching them together. At Callbacks, at the bonfire, at the music store.
Ugh. Change the subject, Kurt.
"Well anyway, I had a lot of fun singing with you tonight. I thought we sounded pretty good."
"I thought we sounded incredible." Blaine agreed enthusiastically. "We haven't sounded that good since the very first duet that we did. Remember what it was?"
Seriously, he was thinking about that too? You should let him know how very much on the same page you still are, the angel on Kurt's shoulder said.
Ah, but where's the fun in that? The devil on the other side mused. Kurt smirked.
"No, I'm blanking." So sue me, messing with Blaine is fun.
When his ex turned around, his face was every bit as priceless as Kurt had imagined. He couldn't keep a straight face for long though. "I'm kidding, of course I do. It was 'Baby, it's cold outside'..." He laughed and decided to just throw caution to the wind when Blaine looked at him with those warm eyes. "The entire time we were singing that song, I just wanted to turn off that damn boombox and confess my undying love for you and give you the worlds most passionate kiss." The way Blaine smiled at him then made it all worth it.
"Oh yeah? Why didn't you?" Was that a flirty tone? Kurt wondered. It definitely was.
"I wasn't sure if you felt the same way...and you didn't. Remember that guy you had a crush on, assistant manager at the Gap?" Kurt said and smiled when Blaine made a scrunchy face. "What was his name? Um, eh...Jonathan? Jebediah?"
Of course, Kurt knew his name, you don't forget the name of the other guy that your crush has a crush on. That kind of thing hurts and gets burned into your memory. Blaine looked like he genuinely had to think about it though.
"Jeremiah." Blaine said and looked really proud that he remembered.
"Jeremiah, yeah. Whatever happened to him?" Kurt mused, just making idle conversation now because he didn't want Blaine to go.
"I have no clue." Blaine was smiling that smile again, the one that lit up his whole face, clearly very amused by Kurt right now.
"Hmm. It's funny how someone can mean so much to you at one point in time and then a few years go by and..." Kurt was just waxing philosophically now, because Blaine was staring at him intensely and Kurt knew if he stopped using his mouth for talking, he would start using it for something else. Like kissing Blaine and that couldn't happen.
He was so focused on distracting himself by looking everywhere but at the man in front of him, that he didn't notice Blaine surge in until his rambling was stopped by another mouth on his. He grabbed Blaine's arm because it was second nature, closed his eyes because it was instinct and then freaked out internally; unable to return the kiss, but also unable to stop it and push the man away. Only one thought was running through his head on repeat.
Oh my God, Blaine is kissing me!
It wasn't a long kiss. Or a passionate kiss. Basically just a press of lips. Kurt barely had the time to process what was going on, before Blaine was pulling back and when Kurt slowly opened his shocked eyes, they met Blaine's guilty ones. Kurt was pretty sure he had to be looking like a deer caught in headlights right now. He wanted to say something, anything...but before he could utter a single syllable Blaine took off, more running than walking down the street and leaving Kurt standing there, completely baffled, looking after him.
Ten seconds passed.
Then it was thirty.
A full minute.
And Kurt was still nailed to the spot. Until the voice in his head shook him out of it.
What are you doing, you idiot?! This was the sign you've been waiting for! Go after him!
Kurt moved. First a few careful steps, then he started full on running in the general direction Blaine had gone. He didn't exactly know what he was gonna do when he found him, he just knew he had to catch him before he left. They had to talk about whatever the hell just happened and what it meant.
As he passed one car after the other, but still hadn't found Blaine's jeep, he was getting increasingly agitated. He was running out of road and cars. Had Blaine already left? Probably. He checked around the corner anyway – and to his surprise there it was. He quickly approached, but as he got closer, he heard Blaine's voice. He was talking to someone and he had the window rolled down which meant Kurt could hear every word from where he stood. It quickly became clear that Blaine was on the phone since Kurt could only hear his side of the conversation.
"Yeah." Blaine sighed. "I am still at the party, just leaving now. It wasn't the reason I called though." Another sigh. "Dave, can you just listen for a minute, we need to talk." Kurt could see through the window that Blaine had placed his hand on his forehead, rubbing it – a clear sign he was stressed. "No, it really can't wait. I have to tell you something." A pause. "It's not easy to say this but...I kissed Kurt. I'm sorry."
Of course, Kurt thought. Naturally Blaine would confess to the cheating right away. Kurt actually felt bad for Karofsky in that moment. Because he had been in his shoes once upon a time and knew exactly how it felt. He kept listening, knowing he was being rude and had no right to eavesdrop - but too curious to walk away.
"What do you mean 'Are you?'" Blaine sounded annoyed now. "Of course I'm sorry. I'm with you, it was wrong and shouldn't have happened." Kurt watched Blaine put the phone down on his dashboard and a few seconds later he realized his ex had put it on speaker in favor of slumping down in his seat, free hands now tapping nervously on his thighs and head leaned back. Kurt knew Blaine had to be staring aimlessly at the ceiling.
"Come on, Blaine. You were never truly with me. Not really. Not with your whole heart anyway." Karofsky sighed but his voice didn't sound angry, just hollow. "Guess I was lucky to get a few months in with you, huh."
"What does that mean?" Blaine asked as he bent over and smashed his head against the steering wheel like he had just given up.
"It means you still love him. You never stopped." Karofsky's voice sounded resigned as he continued. "Ever since Kurt came back to Lima there's been this ticking clock hanging over us. Time's up." Kurt swallowed hard. Had it really been so obvious to Karofsky all along?
"I'm sorry, Dave. I didn't mean to..." Blaine was trying to apologize but was interrupted.
"It's okay, it's okay. I know." Karofsky said. "And hey, no hard feelings okay. We both know deep down that this...us...wouldn't have worked out in the end."
Kurt couldn't help but think that Karofsky was taking this far too well, but he wasn't gonna complain if the guy wanted to give up Blaine without a fight. There was silence for a beat on both ends. Then...
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked.
"Yeah, I am gonna be fine. You know that clumsy fat-ass Craig from last weekend...he tried to slip me his number at the game." They both snorted at that and Kurt knew he was missing some inside joke. "Look. There is a whole world of guys out there waiting to be my rebound. Go..."
"Go what?" Blaine asked and Kurt could imagine so clearly, the way his eyebrows would be scrunching together right now, in that cute was they always did when Blaine was confused.
"Go, it's okay. Tell Kurt." Karofsky prompted and wow, Kurt thought. Is he actually pushing us together now? "Just do me a favor." Karofsky added at the same time as Kurt watched Blaine sit back up. "Don't sing it. Just say it."
"Yeah okay, sure." Blaine said, there was a smile in his voice and when Karofsky said his goodbyes and hung up with an equally fond tone, it hit Kurt in that moment that those two had actually shared something together. Some connection that Kurt would never be able to understand. But he was okay with that. Because now Blaine was available.
The sound of an engine starting brought Kurt back to reality and he watched incredulously as Blaine put the car in reverse.
Is he seriously trying to leave?
After what Karofsky said?
Without taking to me?
Hell no.
Kurt moved to the side of the car, opening the door and slipped onto the backseat.
"Kurt!" Blaine startled. "What are you doing, you almost gave me a heart attack!"
"I heard everything, Blaine."
"What?" Blaine asked carefully.
"Your conversation with Karofsky." Kurt was so done playing games. "Every word. I know you're over. And why."
"Oh." Blaine looked down at his hands.
"That's all you have to say? Oh?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know what you want me to say?" Blaine stared at him through the rear-view mirror, exasperated. "How about you explain what you are doing in my car, Kurt?"
"How about you explain why you were about to drive off without talking to me first?" Kurt countered.
"I needed time to think, to clear my head."
"You basically assaulted my mouth and then left me on the side of the road, Blaine!"
"I know. But I had to talk to Dave and figure out what I want, Kurt!"
"You know what you want." Kurt stated confidently. "Me. You want me. You kissed me. "
"That was..." Blaine started, then threw his hands in the air. "Okay, I don't know what that was. Is that what you wanted to hear?!"
"No, what I want is for you to come back here so I don't have to talk to the back of your thick head!"
"Get out of my car, Kurt!"
Their voices were rising, almost yelling and Kurt realized they were kind of fighting now. He didn't know how it had come to this, but he was not ready to walk away.
"No."
"I said. Get out! Right now! Or I swear to God!" Blaine warned.
"No!"
There was a brief stand-off where they just stared at each other through the mirror.
"I am not leaving this car until you talk to me, face to face." Kurt stated stubbornly.
"Fine!" Blaine huffed and got out of the car. A second later he joined Kurt on the backseat, closing the door with a bang. "Happy now?!"
"Oh yeah, I am so happy your majesty graced me with your presence." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"You know what, Kurt. Sarcasm never suited you." Blaine sneered.
"Oh yeah? Well, your obliviousness never suited you." Kurt sneered right back. "You are so scared of going after what you want that you can't even admit to yourself that you want it!"
"Don't you dare presume to know what I am thinking or feeling anymore! A lot can change in a few months!" Blaine yelled.
"I don't presume anything. I know. You are an open book, Blaine. For Christ Sake, even Karofsky could read you and he is as daft as a brush!" Kurt yelled right back. "An even if he wasn't, I still know you. A few months apart has not changed that!"
"You have no right to do this, Kurt! Not after what you did! You can't just change your mind and assume I want you back!" Blaine sighed.
"Maybe not! But if you think I am just gonna sit back again and watch you start dating someone else, you are mistaken. I am not letting this opening go without going all in. Because I love you!"
"It is too late for that, Kurt. That word lost all meaning to me after you practically dumped me at the altar!" Blaine yelled. "You know what, this was a mistake. That kiss was a mistake, I clearly lost my mind there for a minute. If you won't get out, I'll just walk home." And with that he was out the door. Of course, none of them had noticed that while they were arguing, the rain had started to fall heavily. Kurt watched Blaine walking down the sidewalk, getting drenched in a matter of seconds.
"BLAINE!" Kurt yelled out the open door. "Stop!" Blaine didn't stop, he just kept getting further and further away and Kurt acted without thinking by closing the door and climbing over into the drivers seat. It was wet from the rain, but he paid it no mind. Luckily he found Blaine's keys still in the ignition and he wasted no time turning the car on and following his ex. As soon as he reached Blaine, Kurt tried to talk some sense into him. "Blaine! Have you lost your mind?! You can't walk home in this!" Blaine continued to ignore him and Kurt watched the rain drip off his nose.
I can't believe this! This is ridiculous! I am in love with a moron!
"Get in the car, Blaine!" Kurt said sternly.
"No." Blaine stopped and crossed his arms across his chest, staring Kurt down defiantly.
"What are you? Five? I said, get in now! You are gonna get sick!"
"I don't care. I am not getting in unless you get out!"
"You know what, fine!" Kurt huffed. "You want me to get out, I'll get out!" He threw the door open, jumping out in front of Blaine, his coif flattening instantly. Great, now my hair is ruined!
"What are you doing? Are you crazy! Did you forget that's McQueen you're wearing!?" Blaine looked frozen in place, shocked at Kurt's actions and Kurt was actually a little shocked himself. But he had a feeling that this was his last chance and he had to grab it. Even if it ruined some vital pieces of his wardrobe. So there he stood in front of his ex, both of them soaked to the bone – and he started talking - with the rain coming down hard and the wind picking up all around them.
"I don't care about my stupid shoes, Blaine!" Kurt yelled frustrated. "Look, I made a mistake in letting you go. I admit that. I got scared and I made the worst possible decision. But I am standing here right now begging you for forgiveness and to let me back in. I've learned from my mistakes and I have waited and waited patiently for the right moment to fight for you. Well, this is it!"
"Kurt..." Blaine tried but Kurt stepped closer and pressed his fingers to Blaine's lips, silencing him.
"No, let me finish. Maybe you are right. Maybe I am a narcissistic asshole for even thinking that this...you and me...is a given, but am I wrong?!" They were both breathing heavily by now, their faces so close together that they could feel each others breaths. "Are you going to tell me you don't feel anything when I do this?!" Kurt asked as he removed his hand from Blaine's lips and placed it on his chest instead. "Because I can feel your heart beating a million miles an hour! This...this means something." Kurt then grabbed Blaine's hand and placed it on his own chest. "I know, because you do the same to me. Feel my heartbeat, Blaine."
The energy between them was electric, the air around them heated despite the icy water wetting their clothes and dripping down their skin. When Kurt let go of Blaine's hand, he kept it where it was and Kurt let both his hands move across Blaine's torso; the right one advancing from his heart to his neck, caressing his cheek and resting there – Kurt could have sworn Blaine leaned into it. And he took that as permission to let his left hand travel south, making Blaine gasp and suck in a breath. Kurt realized with exhilaration that his ex was hard. He looked up into Blaine's eyes then, the dark gold burning with need in the low light of the street lamps.
"Are you honestly gonna stand there and claim that anyone else has ever had this effect on you?" Kurt leaned in slowly to kiss up Blaine's neck and whisper into his ear. "That anyone elses touch makes you tremble with desire?" He tightened his left hand and rubbed up and down a few times, making Blaine moan.
"Fuck, Kurt." Blaine breathed and surged forward capturing Kurt's lips with his own, who kissed back fervently. It was cold and wet and perfect – and Kurt wasted no time pushing Blaine up against the car attacking every part of him he could reach. The make-out went from vertical to horizontal faster than the speed of light when Kurt opened the back door of the jeep and pushed Blaine in. His ex went down willingly, pulling Kurt on top of him. Not long after that they were both shirtless, then pants were discarded until only their underwear remained, but those were quickly tossed aside too and soon they were rutting furiously against each other.
Kurt enjoyed licking the rain drops off Blaine's skin and pulling his hair which had gotten so wet that the gel was all but washed out. It didn't last long though, both were too turned on. At a particular hard thrust and Kurt biting down on his shoulder, Blaine tensed.
"Oh God, oh God. Kurt, yes, yessssss..." And then he was coming, his face scrunching up and his member pulsing next to Kurt's and it was enough to push Kurt over the edge too. He climaxed with Blaine's name on his lips and then collapsed on top of him.
It took some time for them to catch their breaths after that and then none of them seemed to know what to say. But Blaine was running his hands through Kurt's wet locks, massaging his scalp and it gave Kurt the courage to break the silence.
"Well, that escalated quickly." He stated from his position on Blaine's chest. "I swear, I did not carjack you in order to seduce you." Blaine chuckled, the vibrations going through Kurt and for a moment it felt like they were one.
"Yeah, that was intense." Blaine agreed. "And amazing."
"Did I rock your world, Mr. Anderson?" Kurt asked cheekily.
"Rocked it? You crushed it." Blaine sighed, still caught in the blissful afterglow. "I am so glad you evolved from the Baby Penquin stage. That was possibly the hottest you have ever been. And that's really saying something." Kurt preened. "Don't get too excited though, I am still mad at you." Kurt deflated.
"I know."
And it was silent again, none of them making any effort to untangle themselves from the other. They just laid there, together, nude...in the backseat of a car. Kurt chuckled.
"What's so funny?" Blaine asked.
"Us." Kurt smiled. "And backseats. This reminds me of Mr. Schue's non wedding, minus the rain. I still don't know how we manage to get undressed so fast in such a limited space without kneeing each other in the groin."
"Ah." Blaine chuckled too. "It's a talent."
"Must be." Kurt agreed.
"You know what it reminds me of?" Blaine asked after a little while.
"No, do tell."
"Our favorite movie." Blaine smiled down at him. "We totally just had a 'Notebook' moment."
"That's right." Kurt smiled back. "Guess I can cross that off my bucket list now. Thank you."
"Always glad to be of assistance, Mr Hummel." Blaine laughed. "The dapperness is strong with me."
"Dork." Kurt laughed, then paused briefly before saying what was really on his mind. "When I said I wanted to talk, I really meant talk. I wanted to explain..." He started but Blaine interrupted him with a sweet kiss. When they broke apart, Kurt was breathless.
"You said enough, Kurt."
"Really?"
"For now, yeah." They locked gazes.
"I love you." Kurt whispered. Blaine closed his eyes, sighing and Kurt held his breath, watching him. It seemed like an eternity before Blaine looked back down at him. But then he did. "I love you too, Kurt." Blaine breathed and kissed him, making Kurt's heart leap in his chest - and Blaine's earnest eyes told him that this was it. He had earned his second chance. They would talk it all out eventually and things would finally be okay.