Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy-Extra bit

What I believe should've happened anyway

Just to let you know, all this is doing is using the names and places from the Original Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, and has no relevance whatsoever to anything from Mostly Harmless or anything that comes after it.

So don't try to lynch me.

Please.

I have a family.

NoooOoOooOoOo

I have written this in the style of which the book is read the Radio series, not as a proper book.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy lists a number of common misconceptions commonly misconcepted by people who are (commonly) susceptible to misconceptions.

1: God's came about a week before the Universe. Wrong.

2: It is not possible to witness the Universe ending and you would die along with it. Wrong.

3: It is not possible to actually like Tea. Apparently Incorrect, (Although this has yet to be confirmed by expert tasters all around the galaxy) as the ape descendant Arthur Dent desperately tries to get across.

4: Good books should always be made into films. Wrong.

Our story begins in the chartered middle-section of the Universe (Although this is of course impossible as the Universe is infinite) with a young frood who happens to have lost his towel.

"Hello, Excuse me? Have you seen my towel? It's a navy sort of blue with green edges, No? Oh well…. Excuse me!" And so forth.

This young Frood is disconcertingly called Ford Prefect (For reasons that, after the Earth had been demolished no-one will seriously understand), and, not only has he lost his towel (Which any self-respecting hitchhiker will know is essential in any situation) but he has lost his pet friend, an ape (descendant) as well. Therefore the reason for his next question,

"Excuse me? Have you seen a rather gormless looking earthman wandering around here? About this tall? He might be looking at your genitals accidentally, but don't worry. He isn't interested in…. oooo errr. Sorry about that mate, I wasn't concentrating…No I don't wish to have goolar frumpnics with you, I'm sorry… No really, it's quite alright."
This particular Earthman, Arthur Dent, is not currently conversing about goolar frumpnics, but is talking in an incomprehensible language, known to most as "That of the Drunk Man"

"And den ma pwanet got all bwon up wather wike a chwismas twee and I'm wather upset about it. It weally weally annoying."

There are some things wrong with that sentence;

1: Arthur Dents home planet was not actually a planet, but rather a super computer devised by the ancient magratheans and Deep Thought (Another computer) to calculate the Ultimate question to the Ultimate answer of Life, the Universe, and Everything. (Which just so happens to be 42)

2: He does not sound drunk; this is an error on my part for which I am profoundly not sorry.

3: The rest of it is true though.

4: No, Arthur Dent is not 3 years old.

It is at this point that Ford Prefect enters the pub looking rather surprised to see both Arthur and his towel, to which Arthur seems to be having a conversation with.

"Ah there you are Arthur!" Exclaimed Ford, "I've been looking all over for you!"

" I tink you ought to know hic, I'm feeling vewwy…"

"Depressed? Oh don't start, we've only just got rid of that awful robot, please don't bring him back with memories. And before you say anything, nobody said anything about life."

"Oh…"

Arthur Dent has just been drinking Pan Galactic gargle blasters, which, as all of you know after Zaphod Beeblebrox's infamous galactic party last year, is pretty heavy stuff.

It is at precisely the moment Arthur Dent say "Oh…" that, at that precise moment, there is a big crash, bang, and a wallop thrown in for good measure at the Bar entrance just behind Ford.

As the dust cloud begins to calm it seems that the reason for this is the entrance of a very egotistical young frood.

Who is this young frood?

Why was there a wallop thrown in for good measure.

Why didn't Ford Prefect want Arthur to say anything about Life?

Is there any point to this story at all?

Find out in the next exciting installment of... The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.