Disclaimer: Inuyasha's not mine. I was born when it was still in the works. The manga was out before I was born, probably even before my parents met eachother.

And now I give you...

Feudal Mishaps

I sniffed the small hard bottle curiously. Kagome had explained it was scented water (A/N: known as PERFUME) but hadn't really said anything else about it, instead she just went back to her 'homwurk' while asking her mom and the kid to keep me entertained.

I carefully took off the top and inspected the spritzer. Kagome said it was water, right? I was thirsty. So, down the hatch the it went.

...

JESUS FUCKING DAMNIT ALL TO HELL! I THOUGHT IT WAS WATER! " Inuyasha?" Kagome asked hesitantly as she entered the room. She must've heard me cry out in surprise and disgust.

I shook my head and ran for her indoor bath house and went for the small waterfall, immediately trying to get the damn thing to turn on. Finally it gave and I could get relief from the torture I had been exposed to.

" W-What was that stuff?" Damn. I stuttered. Men aren't supposed to stutter, and neither are demons! " It's called perfume, I tried to explain it, you know the 'scented water' but it's not really water. You can't drink that. And you can't spray it in your face either or it'll hurt."

" Tch. Whatever, wench." I covered up my embarrassment and slight anger with annoyance aimed at her. Her face turned red as she glared. " Inuyasha..." Uh oh. I might have struck a nerve with that one. " SIT!" Fuck!

Miroku was politely rummaging through Kagome's always growing bag for some matches when he found a bottle. He tried to read the label, but hey, in feudal era Japan not many people could get a good education. That and the kanji had changed slightly with the evolution of the country.

X-Lax? What in the name of Buddha was X-Lax? Shrugging he swallowed the pills without another thought-did he suffer too many knocks to the head?

And this promptly happened thirty minutes later. Everyone was enjoying lunch when all of the sudden, Miroku went wide eyed and shot from his spot into the shrubbery a ways away.

" Houshi-sama?" Sango inquired at his odd behavior. She only got a pitiful groan in response while Inuyasha turned green. Unfortunately, he could smell everything that was happening. Along with Shippo and Kirara.

Needless to say, no one bothered the poor monk for the remainder of the afternoon. Or that evening.

Sango had asked Kagome where the wax was so she could polish Hiraikotsu and the raven haired priestess pointed at her bag. When Sango started her search, she pulled out something strange. It was long, and almost as big as her fist. It was also bright purple.

" Kagome-chan, what's this?" The fifteen year old looked over and promptly turned crimson. " Uhh, one of my older friends from the future gave that to me as a joke... It's something for..." she turned even more red and Sango began to understand then her face turned fuchsia. That was the end of that conversation.

" Kagome did you bring any candy?" Shippo was eager as ever for the sweets his surrogate mother brought from her world. The raven haired teen nodded and told him it was in the front pocket of her backpack.

But what Shippo found wasn't candy. It was in a weird square package that looked like it had a doughnut shaped thing in it. Shrugging in a 'what the hell?' manner, he opened the wrapper and put the thing in his mouth.

This doesn't taste like candy. " Kagome this doesn't taste like candy!" Correct Shippo, because it's not. The aforementioned girl turned around...

To see her surrogate son with a condom on his tongue. And she immediately turned twelve different shades of crimson. " W-Where did you get that?!" How in the name of hell did her son get a condom?!

First Inuyasha trying to drink perfume, then Miroku with the X-Lax her mother had told her to get for gramps, then Sango and the...NEVERMIND! And now this?!

What's next? Naraku trying to sing like N'SYNC? Or Kanna doing the Macarena? How about Kaede rolling up some weed? Kagome needed a vacation. Plain and Simple.

FIN

Well, my basic idea of what would happen should the Inu-Tachi find weird shit in Kagome's stuff. I had this idea at three in the morning-this morning-and had typed everything up until the end of Sango's part where is says 'fuchsia' and everything else-including some edits to Inuyasha's (namely adding the command and his mental exclamation of 'fuck') was typed up now.

This was merely a crack one-shot, all fun was intentional. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME YASHIE!

-Always,

FireHanyou15-