Start = 9/22/09
Finish = 9/22/09
Disclaimer: I do not own the character. Jhonen Vasquez does. I do not own the song or lyrics. Three Days Grace does.
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He walked down the dark street on his way home from the movie theater that he had gone to. By himself, like always. On his walk he would glare at anyone who made eye contact with him, snicker at the people hanging outside of stores smoking, and when he saw couples either holding hands or making out against a wall he wondered how anyone could stand all that physical contact.
Then once he'd reach a stretch of the street that was empty he would wonder. Why wasn't he one of those people? Not the smokers, or the ones making out, but why didn't he get to have friends and be happy? Why was everyone in this damn place either an idiot or an asshole? What made them more special than him?
During every walk he took at least two people would insult him. And for no reason! Just because they thought he looked funny! Those people would wake up screaming in his basement. Those people were going to die.
He got home, took care of his victims, and then sat in his living room.
Every street in this city
is the same to me
Everyone's got a place to be
but there's no room for me
Am I to blame?
When the guilt and the shame hang over me
Like a dark cloud,
That chases you down in the pouring rain.
It's so hard to find someone
who cares about you,
but it's easy enough to find someone
who looks down on you
Why is it so hard to find someone
who cares about you ?
When it's easy enough to find someone
who looks down on you
He watched TV for a while but switched it off when the hour long infomercials took over. He glanced at a nearby clock - 2:30am. He sighed. He hated this time of night. Everyone was safe inside their homes and he was alone - like always - and bored. Bad things happen when he's bored and has no one to hurt to pass the time. His mind starts thinking, and that's never good. Thinking leads to self-loathing.
Why did he have to be alone? There were thousands of people out there - MILLIONS! And he had no one. Not one friend. But that wasn't his fault right? It was them. They were the people who had the problems. All of them think they're better than he is. Think they're more important. Yes, it was all their fault. That's why he's alone - it's them.
It's not what it seems
when you're not on the scene
There's a chill in the air
But there's people like me
That nobody sees so nobody cares
Why is it so hard to find someone
who cares about you ?
When it's easy enough to find someone
who looks down on you
Why is it so hard to find someone
who can keep it together
when you've come undone ?
Why is it so hard to find someone
who cares about you ?
No. He knew that wasn't true. He knew it was all his fault. For some reason he was fucked up and he just couldn't figure out why, or how he got this way. He doesn't want to be alone all the time, but no one wants him. They all hate him. But he hates them too.
He got up, grabbed his diary and his keys and walked out the door. He drove to the top of a cliff that over looked his city. He wrote about the night, and about how he wanted things to be different. But deep down he knew nothing would change. Tomorrow night, and all the nights after that would be exactly the same as this. And on each of those night, he would be alone.
I swear this time it won't turn out
the same 'cause now I've got myself to blame
And you'll know where we'll end up
on the streets that is easy enough
to find someone who looks down on you
Why is it so hard to find someone
who cares about you ?
When it's easy enough to find someone
who looks down on you
Why is it so hard to find someone
who can keep it together
when you've come undone ?
Why is it so hard to find someone
who cares about you ?