It's late, but when the door swooshes open it seems darker. Lance knows he's not alone and the brief flash of light shows keith's back to him. Before the silence suffocates him, Keith makes a wet noise of what must be him wiping his nose followed by a tight sigh. Lance can see from his short distance away that Keith is straightening up and trying his best to better adjust his posture his back a physical wall between them. Lance is sure he saw tears briefly those wide eyes a little too wet, sparkling in the low light. Lance even considers that maybe he's imagined it. It is dark, mostly shadows and starlight but the sniffling turns his doubt to a
"Do you want me to leave?" His own voice sounding hollow in his own ears. His voice comes out soft, as if his body can sense the delicacy of the situation and adjusted accordingly.
Lance takes Keith's lack of response as a 'maybe' and decides to push forward into the small observatory maintaining a solid five foot radius to the other side of the window. Making sure to keep his eyes forward he breaks the silence again,
"How long have you known Shiro?"
Lance cringes inwardly at his own bravery/stupidity to ask such a thing and can't seem to clamp his mouth shut as he continues.
"I heard about him when I was in Cuba. My Tia worked as a flight instructor and she couldn't stop talking about her new favorite student Takashi Shirogane. Just his flight sim stats were so far reaching and he became like a hero to me. The struggle he seemed to have first joining to his record breaking sim flights. I just knew I wanted to know him and if possible learn from him."
He can't help the chuckle that bubbles up at his own younger self. He can't see Keith from his peripheral but he knows he's there and since he hasn't lashed out or left, Lance decides to continue.
"I had always wanted to be a pilot growing up but Shiro was the reason I joined the Galaxy Garrison specifically. It was weird not knowing him personally but still knowing so much about him. Seeing him at the galaxy garrison was like celebrity spotting for me and though I didn't know him personally when he was announced dead like that I didn't understand how I could care so much for someone I didn't know personally." The emotion in Lances voice thickens and he's forced to pause, clearing his throat as discreetly as possible.
"Now, knowing him so well…
I mean sure we're not besties but, he looked out for all of us so individually and.."
Lance attempts to cough out the emotion welling in his throat. A sudden hand on his shoulder is the catalyst and the damn breaks. Lance may not have been the closest to shiro but he certainly loves the man as a friend and brother the raw emotion in his chest at the loss of him overwhelming. The tears are incessant but he's hoping his emotional outburst will help lull Keith in his own. Lance finds the low bench in front of the window with his shins and guides himself and his emotionally constipated friend to sit. Lance takes the time to bury his head in Keith's shoulder pulling him into a tight, clinging hug. Lance's blubbering and shaking in Keith's arms somehow in Keith's mind makes it the perfect opportunity to let his own emotions flow hiding them in Lances hug and loud crying.
It was startling being caught when he finally settled down enough to realize what/who he'd lost. They had searched for almost a full month and Keith had not found the time to dwell on much. He had kept himself as busy as possible searching until he had fallen asleep in his lion waking up in his hangar to a soft reassuring purr of his lion. But the lack of sleep was wearing on him so he'd found a secluded observatory and at first he had paced. Then pacing turned to shallow fast breathing and he could feel the panick attack rising like bile so he sat hurriedly hoping to just brace himself but instead tears crawl down his face slowly. He'd tried to stop the flow but it was insistent and though he knew it to be a natural occurrence he couldn't stand the physical proof of his pain. He'd finally gotten somewhat comfortable hearing his own soft sniffling when lance had barged in. 'Barged' Was a strong word. Lance entering so soundlessly only the swish of the door closing giving him away. Keith wasn't sure how Lance would react to his "rival" though his imaginations best case scenario was Lance awkwardly leaving giving Keith space to grieve. Lance had surprised him though as he usually did. Not that Lance and all his buffoonery are in any way incompetent just that Keith doesn't understand much of anything besides fighting and flying. For how amazing Keith is at hand to hand with never ending practice Lance is emotionally and socially adept naturally. He doesnt seem to have much a handle on his own problems but he somehow knows just what to say in the most delicate of times. It was something he, a little bit, hated about lance.
The blubbering idiot found him lower that he knew he could go and found a way to show him that despite what his brain was hollering at him he is not alone. Because that's the hardest part about all of it. His mom was the first to go then dad disappeared and after almost a decade in a failing adoption system he finds a real connection again only to lose him, twice. Keith finds himself the common denominator to loss and death around him. His brain making an inference over non correlating variables he knows.
The guilt eats at him anyways. He squeezes Lance tighter to himself a small, insistent voice calling him selfish for holding on. For letting his tears stain a friends shoulder but with a soft huff he feels against his ear reminds him that Lance is doing the same. The symbiosis of the exchange abates to dark voices enough to lose himself to the ugly grief working its way out in tears.
He isn't sure how long he's been crying but by the time the tears slow he realizes Lances breathe is on his neck but it's evened out. Keith feels the full weight of an unconscious long boy and starts to feel the creeping fatigue that comes with exhaustion but the added sleepless nights add to it. He doesn't want to bother Lance so he decides to just camp out here. Thankfully he remembers and can reach the button under the weird couch where there's spare blankets and pillows managing to find a pillow for his own head and a weirdly textured but fairly comfy blanket. It takes him too long to get them situated. Lance's gangly figure a conundrum but Keith manages laying Lance on his chest and straightening out his friends long limbs. He looks down at this beautiful boy with a sleepy fondness giving him a kiss on the top of his heads before he drifts into sleep and hopefully a better day.