13sTaLk13: Okay, I love the manga Petshop of Horrors, but this is the first time I've written a fanfic (that I've actually posted) for it. This is AU and there's a bit of (well, does D really even have a sex?) genderbending.

Summary: Officer Leon Orcot, 24-year-old homicide detective is working late one night when he finds the collapsed form of a young Chinese woman.

He takes her to his apartment to treat her illness. When she wakes she is of the belief that Leon has taken advantage of her in her sleep, and therefore she must become his wife!

Leon, ever oblivious, can't figure out why this girl won't stop following him and why all his dates disappear when he brings them home. What's more is that this girl's pets just don't stop at stray cats and dogs.

What's a guy to do when doing the right thing leads to so many misunderstandings and mayhem?

My inspiration was 'Leon and Deedle linearts' by majestueux on DeviantART

Now onto the story…

_

The thunder clapped loudly in the sky, rumbling so loud as to make one think the city should tremble before the sound. Sheets of rain poured down on the city streets relentlessly as a few determined or unfortunate people milled through it trying to get to a destination, except for one.

One man, a blonde with a slouch and a scuffle in his step was looking around as he stamped out a soggy cigarette on the sidewalk upon which he stood. His sharp blue eyes glinted in the streetlamp lights, too early to be on but the weather made it dark enough for them to turn on automatically.

"Fuck." The man muttered, stuffing his hands into his damp jeans pockets. He squinted through the rain, looking for his perp without success. "Asshole got away." He continued gloomily, and he sighed, before a shiver ran up his spine. "Better get outta this ran before it gets too bad." He looked up just as lightning struck and closed one eye as a drop of rain hit it. "And I gotta stop talking to myself."

The man's soaked novelty tee-shirt was useless as a cover, as the rain made it stick to his skin and revel his gun. The blonde trudged towards the general direction of his apartment, keeping a watchful eye out for the lost perp in case he caught a break, which was not uncommon for the Homicide Detective.

As he passed a blacked-out streetlight he heard a small moan, one of pain. Instinctively he turned while he reached for his gun. He froze as he saw the sprawled form of a woman, most likely from the Chinatown district if the attire was any indication, lying on the cold wet ground of the alley.

Cautiously he approached the fallen female and checked for a pulse. He sighed with relief as he found won, but was still seriously perturbed by both the clamminess of her skin and as to why/how she was out here in the first place.

He lifted her up and was surprised at how light the girl was. 'Gotta be on some sort of diet,' Leon thought and he winced, 'wonder what she's doing here…' He frowned as her pale forehead brushed his collarbone. 'She's got a fever. Damn, now I need to really hurry. What was Mom's old soup recipe? Fuck it, I can't cook.' He carried the woman at a sprint to the only place he knew to take her- his apartment.

Once inside the dry apartment Leon set to getting her out of the wet clothes she was in and into some of his spare dry clothes. 'I'm going to need to do some laundry soon, I'm down to my last cleans shirt.' By "clean" he meant that the shirt had been worn several times but didn't smell too bad.

He also got into some clean clothes. He made shirt the woman was well tucked in and then went to get some cold medicine from the bathroom. He glanced at the girl and took in her defined cheek bones; trim nose, pale complexion, and wet black hair. Leon shook his head to get rid of these thought and went back to the task at hand.

_

Leon left his apartment and made sure to leave the girl some Campbell's soup -made in the microwave for minimal Leon Damage- and some orange juice. He also had found some old winter gloves and a scarf his mom had and had placed them on the girl to help sweet out her fever.

Then the detective had set out to do his job like any good police man, unaware of the impending pandemonium he was setting in motion with his act of chivalrous kindness.

_

D woke up slowly, and was immediately aware of almost unbearable warmth surrounding her, along with a pounding head ache. She sat up and reached to touch her head, and noticed she wore red winter gloves.

A quick glance down showed her in a man's boxers, undershirt, and a red lady's scarf. D flushed as she looked around the room and saw the pictures of scantily or non-clad women. Her flush deepened and her eyes widened as she came to a conclusion of what must have transpired after she'd been attacked by the teen thugs.

'No! No, this can not be happening! I've been…been… taken advantage of! By some man I do not know and now I'm here in his home and I must become his wife or face unbearable shame!' D gulped and looked around in panic, trying to find a way out, as her thoughts continued on like a locomotive.

That's when she saw the soup and orange juice. Confusion breached the panic making D's thoughts screech to a stop. 'He…he made me breakfast in bed?' She carefully sniffed the air near the soup before warily tasting it. She sighed as she realized it was only soup and not a poison or drug or other such elixir.

She repeated the same with the orange juice, and was equally please with the drink from concentrate. 'I suppose that he will not be too terrible a spouse if he cares enough to do this for me…' D shook her head. 'No! I…' D's shoulders slumped and tears came to her eyes unbidden. 'Whom am I trying to fool? I've no other choices left to me…' D suddenly perked up with a fire in her eyes.

'Well, if this is to be my fate than I shall carve the rest of it myself! I can make the best of the situation.' D stood with determination in her mind, and swayed with vertigo, fire dimming a bit. 'I'll be the best wife I can be!' She decided, sitting down slowly. 'Right after a nap…' D lied back down and fell asleep, new goal set in her mind. 'I wonder if he likes animals…' was her last thought as she drifted away.

_

Leon arrived back home late that night, and he brought along a back of Chinese from a restaurant his co-worker Jill had told him about. It was supposed to have the best Chinese food in the US, with a bill to match. Leon had also picked up a small box of chocolates, remembering how light the girl was and worried for her health.

'All girls like chocolate, right?' He thought, opening the door to his apartment. He nearly dropped the food as he saw his apartment nearly sparkling clean. The girl from before lay on the couch completely wiped. Leon sighed and carried the girl to his bed, laying her there again and making sure she was safely tucked in before he actually looked around.

First to catch his eye were his missing posters, soon followed by the lack of Playboy under his bed. 'What the fuck?!' Leon thought, staring at the girl. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. 'Good thing I requested tomorrow off. I get the feeling there's a lot to explain…And just where is she from anyway? I need to get her home before my date Saturday.' Leon stole one last glance at the woman and frowned as he took in her appearance. 'I'll need to thank her for her hard work…after I scold her for not resting when she's sick.' Leon decided. He left the chocolates and the Chinese food by her and went to sleep on the couch.

The detective took of his gun holster and kept his gun nearby. He also got his key and near-empty wallet out of his pants before he flopped onto the worn-to-comfort couch and turned on the TV. 'Wonder if there's any news on the girl...' Leon yawned wide and made a mental note as he flipped through the channels. 'I'll have Jill help me look for her family when I go back to work.'

He stretched after a few minutes and clicked the TV off having found nothing of interest to watch. He kicked off his shoes and made himself comfortable, too tired to grab a blanket. Within moments the blonde American was sleeping.

_

D was awoken by the smell of Wong's cooking. She sat up and inhaled the scent before opening her mismatched eyes and spotting the bag of Chinese food on the tray, along with a box of chocolates. D's eyes lit up at the sight of two of her favorite things. 'How did my husband know? Have we met before?'

D was admittedly famished, having worked off the soup and juice yesterday in cleaning the apartment thoroughly. She devoured the Chinese food, and then savored the chocolates for a few minutes before getting out of bed.

This time there was no vertigo and she could walk without any sudden spells of exhaustion or dizziness. D went out to find the kitchen where she could make some tea and passed the living room.

D froze mid step as she saw a man laying on the couch and snoring as he slept. Carefully she approached and noticed his gun on the coffee table. A closer look at the man showed a younger face than she was expecting. 'He can't be over twenty-five. I thought he would be older…' She trailed off at what her other expectation of him was as that was also falsified.

He was, and she wasn't going to be modest, a catch. He was muscled, had a beautiful face and she suspected body as well. Feeling much like a curious school girl she lifted up his shirt to get a better look at him, only to gasp in surprise.

He was indeed handsome, but he was also scarred from obvious bullet and knife wounds, meaning he was either in a gang or he fought often. D's eyes scanned the man again, and was building a mental picture as to her husband was when he groaned and his eyes fluttered.

With an 'eep' D backed away, curious eyes on her husband.

Leon sat up and stretched with a yawn before getting off the couch. He'd only taken a step when he opened his eyes and saw his house guest staring at him. "Oh…Hi." He said, lamely he knew but his mind drew a blank as he saw the girl looking at him. "Um… My name's Leon, what's yours?"

She blinked once, before flushing in embarrassment. "My name is D." She bowed a little, to show respect.

"Ah, hey! Are you feeling okay? You had a pretty bad fever yesterday." D opened her mouth to respond when something suddenly made a scratching sound at the door. "What on-"

D went to the door and opened it, revealing a small rabbit like creature with bat wings and two tiny horns. "Q-chan!" D said in happy surprise as the little rabbit settled on her shoulder. Leon looked a tad bit confused. "Leon, this is Q-chan!" D enthused, happily presenting it to Leon. The little thing seemed to look down it's nose at Leon as it uttered one little 'Kyu' noise.

_

I'm sorry it's short but I ran out of time, Mom wants me off now.