Well howdy pardner! my names is woody the cowboy, and I am going to tell you a story called "Toy story: a woody beginning". well I guess I better start by introdoocing myself. well, me, im a cow-punching cowpoke, and I was name because I have problems with morning wood. also, one of my eyes is wood, because it got poked out by my old pal slinky, when he was drinking a slerpee. anyways, me and my old pal buzz lightyear were having a swell old time together, when suddenly evil emporor surg kidnapped mr potatoe head! mmises potato head screamed, "KNOCK THAT OFF YOU STUPID HOOLIGAN! and threw sum monkeys at zerges head. the monkees were biting zerg's ballsack, and zerg was getting a purpel boner. DESTROY ALL MONKEYS said zerg in a meckanical voice, then his cock shooted them all with a lazer beem and were ded. "Now," said zerg, "it is time for me to kidnap mr potatoe head, and make him my sex slave for all eterinty! hahaha." then he flew away in his evil rocket ship and took him to his secret base.
"NOOOOOOO!" said buzz lightyaer in a sad voice, becaus he was going to miss that potatoes. "We have to save him!" shotted woody in a despretate voice. then he started running really fast and caught up with serges flying sauser. "Well drat," said zerg in a dramatic voice. how will I ever have sex with mistr pot head now with that darn woody and buzz always cock blocking my weiner?" then he shooted a thosand missels at buz and blew him up. woody started crying because fyery peeces of buzz flightyear were flying through the air. then he went to a gas statoin to buyh a gun to shooot evil emperer serge with once and for all!
Meanwhil,m back in zergs evel lair…
"What are you gong to do with me?" askek mister potatoe head in a sexy voice. then he bristeled his suav mustach tantalisingly. then zureg said, "now I am going to hav but sex with you!" then his purpel meckanikal privat parts got vary vary big and started to move back and forth. suddenly, just as zerg started lubrikating mr potatos asshole, mr potato openeed his botom and slinky poped out with a chansaw. then he choped of zsergs gentiles, and barbequed them. finaly, they were don cooking, and ecerybody had a dobble serving of zergs delicious barbeciud pork sack. then they all went to buzz lihtyears funeral.
Diclaimer": the next segment of this story is very said and will tug on your hard strings, so reading discretion nis adviced.
Meanchile, at buzzes funerl. "oh my best friend, I will miss you so much! cried woody, and he put flowers in busses healment. then zurg dug a hole and put him in it. everybody was vary said, and andys mom even had to buy him a new toy so that he wouldn't miss buss. then wouldn't you know it, a heavenly miracle happenned! buz was melted down at a factory and made into a beatiful barby doll! "buzz, it that you?" said woody. "yes it is me, bus liteyear!" then they pasionatly made out, and woody rubed oil all over buzes breasts. then buz climbed on top of wody and rode his cock into a goldin sunset.
The End.