So for those reading Meaningful, don't worry, I'm not giving up on it. I'm having something of a writer's block with it. I know what the endgame of that story will be, and I know the directions it'll be taking, I'm just sort of in some kind of limbo, where I'm about halfway to the first major event in the "endgame" series, but I don't know what the best way to make progress is. In short, don't give up on it. In the meantime, here's something to hold you over for a little bit. Enjoy!
"Ron?" said Hermione, her jaw dropping. "But... are you sure? I mean-"
She turned to look at Ron, who had a defiant look on his face.
"It's my name on the letter." he said.
"I..." said Hermione, looking thoroughly bewildered. "I... well... wow! Well done Ron! That's really-"
"Unexpected." said George, nodding.
"No." said Hermione, blushing harder than ever. "No it's not. Ron's done loads of... he's really..."
Ron's new status as prefect got the reaction he would have wanted from his mother, and Harry seemed proud of him too, though he was acting a bit out of character about it. Fred and George of course tried to devalue the achievement, but that didn't bother him. What really bothered him was Hermione's reaction. She made Ron feel as if he'd stolen the badge from Harry or something.
It's obvious. She just thinks I'm incompetent. Ron thought to himself, bitterly.
It was about twelve thirty at night, and people had gone to bed and had been asleep for a while at this point, but Ron had been tossing and turning for over half an hour, fixating on Hermione's reaction to the badge being Ron's. He decided that he just wasn't going to get to sleep any time soon, and so he got out of bed and tiptoed as quietly as he could downstairs, so he wouldn't wake anyone.
He headed into the kitchen and began to make himself some tea, hoping to calm himself down. At first he was just sad, but now he was quite angry.
I don't even care any more. She'll see I'm not just some bumbling idiot. I'll prove myself. He told himself.
Oh Merlin, what time is it now? Twelve thirty? I've been lying here for an hour and I'm still not asleep? I suppose this is my fault anyway though. I can't stop thinking about my awful reaction to Ron's appointment to being a prefect. Why can't I stop though? I mean he did seem defiant at first but he seemed to get over it quickly enough, why can't I? I'm sure he's probably sound asleep, probably snoring away, maybe keeping Harry awake while he's at it.
But of course I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it, he had other things to distract him from me being a tactless idiot, like his mum doing exactly what I should have done - made him feel proud of a worthwhile achievement! God, why do I even have the nerve to call him insensitive or tactless? I'm such a hypocrite...
I should apologize to him. But not now, I'll have to get him alone whilst we're cleaning or something. He probably won't care either way, but it's still not right for me to treat his accomplishments that way. I should probably make more of an effort to be nicer to him if I want him to notice me...
Wait, what am I thinking? Why would he notice me? All I do is nag him about homework! He hates that! But I can't stop doing that, he needs to reach his potential! That's far more important than him seeing me as some kind of romantic option! It wouldn't even last anyway, I'd bore him senseless in a week, and he'd probably want to move things along much faster than me. No... I should let go of that silly childish dream.
Why am I still awake? Ok that's it. I need some tea, maybe that will help me.
I tiptoed my way out of the bedroom, down the stairs and towards the kitchen, but I heard movement in there. Knowing this house, there was probably a boggart skulking around in there, so I took out my wand before I walked in, but instead, there was something much harder to handle than a boggart inside. It was Ron. I could immediately feel myself blushing, the memory of my reaction to his new appointment still fresh in my mind.
"Umm. Hi Ron, what are you doing down here?" I asked.
"Couldn't sleep. Just making some tea. Want some?" Ron asked. He wasn't looking me in the eye, which is when I realized that what I was afraid of was true. He was angry about my reaction.
I pretended not to notice when I responded.
"Yes please." I said. Ron nodded and poured out a second cup.
"D'you want sugar or milk or something?" he asked.
"Just some milk please." I replied, as Ron poured a teaspoon worth of milk into my cup.
He handed me my tea and sat down at the table, drinking it in silence. Clearly I had upset him more than I realized. I wasn't prepared for this apology, but I had to do it now, the silence was too uncomfortable.
"Listen, Ron, about earlier-" I started.
"Forget it." said Ron sharply.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"I said just forget it. I don't want to hear it." said Ron.
"But I-" I started.
"Did I stutter? I don't want to hear it Hermione, so just drink your tea and leave me alone." said Ron.
This time it was my turn to get annoyed. Yes, I was in the wrong, but now he was just being childish! Worthwhile achievement or not, it's just a prefect's badge!
"OK I wanted to apologize but now you're just being childish! What is wrong with you?" I challenged.
"You're asking me what's wrong with me? That's rich. Of all people, I'd have thought you had a pretty damn good idea yourself." Ron replied, bitterly.
"Ron, I know I was in the wrong, but it's just a prefect's badge! We've been best friends for four years, can't you just at least let me explain myself?" I asked, my voice getting more shrill than I would have liked. I may be angry with him but I don't exactly like sounding unattractive around him.
"You think this is just about the bloody badge? Bloody hell I thought you were supposed to be the smart one and you've missed the point here so badly!" said Ron.
The last time Ron said I missed the point was at the Yule ball, and he never even told me what the point was, so I decided to press my luck.
"So enlighten me Ron. What point have I missed this time?" I asked.
"It's not just the badge like I said. It'a about you and me. It's about what you think of me." said Ron.
"What? What are you even getting at?" I asked, getting more confused and more angry by the second.
"For fuck's sake, for someone who's normally so damn clever, you're acting like a goddamn idiot right now." said Ron, who was clearly as angry as I was at this point.
"Well why don't you tell me what I'm missing then?" I replied, raising my voice again.
"I just did!" Ron replied, indignantly.
"You didn't explain anything!" I retorted.
"So I guess I have to spell it out, don't I? I'm pissed off because this morning, I found out that my best friend thinks I'm incompetent. A bumbling idiot. Not worth the prefect's badge, that's for sure, but like I said, it's not just that badge. It's about what you think I'm worth. Apparently, the answer to that question is nothing." Ron said, his face going red.
I stood there in shock. How could he think that?
"How on Earth did you come to that conclusion?" I asked.
"You were pretty damn surprised when I got that badge. Being a prefect is nice, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. And yet you didn't even think I was worth that. Then again, I should have always known. How many times have you put me down on schoolwork? Or called me tactless or something? Now yeah, it's not just the badge as I've said, but the badge showed me a lot that I should have known pretty much since Halloween back in 1991." said Ron.
Suddenly it all dawned on me. I explained to Harry last year that Ron always felt inadequate next to him, due to how everyone perceived Harry in comparison to Ron, but I never thought that I had any effect on it. When Ron told me what he did, it made me feel awful again about what I said that morning.
"Ron, I-" I started.
"I said it before and I'll say it again. I don't want to hear it." Ron interrupted.
I promptly shut my mouth and proceeded to drink my tea as Ron did the same. We remained silent for a full minute, which felt like at least an hour, before Ron sighed.
"OK, go on." he said, exasperatedly.
My eyes lit up and I smiled at him broadly.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah. What have I got to lose anyway?" he grumbled.
"I wanted to say that the way I reacted was inexcusable. It was tactless, and unfair, and just so you know, I've never thought your were incompetent or useless. I remember that you faced a colony of acromantula with Harry despite having arachnophobia, you were ready to sacrifice your life for Harry at twelve years old and stood on a broken leg to defend him and me." I said extremely quickly.
"Wait... what? Then why were you so surprised?" Ron asked.
"Mostly because of Dumbledore's closer relationship to Harry than his to you if I'm honest. I don't know why I couldn't say anything about why you're worth the status when George was being obnoxious about it, but I know why you're a prefect." I said frantically, as if speaking faster lessened the chances of upsetting Ron again.
"Really? Because I'm honestly starting to think George was right." said Ron.
"Don't say that Ron! Dumbledore knows that you know right from wrong, you won't abuse your power, and you'll be able to cooperate with me!" I said.
"You and me? Getting along and cooperating?" Ron asked, smirking at me. That was a good sign - he was starting to joke about a little again.
"As strange as it may sound to you, we actually do get along well. When Bulgarian Quidditch players and Animagus death eaters aren't messing with us." I said, smirking back at him.
"Actually... about Bulgarian Quidditch players-" Ron started.
"Before you say anything, yes I am writing to him, and we're just penpals. That's it." I said.
"Actually I wanted to say I'm sorry about the way I acted at the Yule ball. I know we just sort of pretended it never happened the morning after, but... yeah." Ron finished lamely.
I felt a surge of affection for Ron and gave him a very sudden, though from his reaction, not unwelcome hug.
"You don't have to apologize now, it's been so long!" I said.
"Well I reckon I do have to. You're apologizing for that reaction to me being a prefect, so why shouldn't I apologize for being a dipshit about Krum?" Ron asked.
How does this wonderful boy-no, man not have girls queuing just to have the privilege of talking to him? The amount of times I've heard Lavender and Parvati wishing that all boys could be more like... well, Ron is absurd! How lucky am I?
I then decided to go forward with something which I knew I should have done a long time ago and kissed Ron on the cheek. Judging by the look on his face, he had no idea how to react, which made me want to laugh.
"I know you only recently figured out I'm a girl but kissing you on the cheek isn't that weird." I joked.
"Wasn't recent." Ron mumbled.
It wasn't what he said, so much as how he said it, but his comment effectively wiped the smile off my face.
"Ron? What's wrong?" I asked.
"It's just- No, I don't really want to say, it's embarrassing." said Ron.
"Ron, it's only me, I'm not going to think any less of you." I said softly.
"On most things I'd agree with you but this is different." said Ron.
"Alright, so I understand that this is a secret, but does anyone else know?" I asked.
"No. At least, I've never told anyone." said Ron.
"You know you can trust me, right?" I pressed.
"I know, but it's just... if I told you this secret, then there'd be no point in having the secret at all. If I told... say Harry or Ginny, there'd still be a point in having this secret." said Ron.
"So it's about me?" I asked shrewdly. Sometimes I love how fast I catch on to things.
"Fuck. Well yeah. It's about you." said Ron. He was clearly getting quite uncomfortable, but I was getting too curious now. I felt a little guilty about making him this uncomfortable, but my curiosity got the better of me.
"Ron, unless you secretly hate me, there's nothing you could say that will make me think any less of you. If you still feel like I make you feel inadequate, I am truly sorry, but if you explain yourself, I might be able to help you." I said.
"I don't hate you. It's... sort of the opposite really." said Ron, who proceeded to put his face in his hands.
My heart began to beat faster than ever. If he was saying he fancies me, then surely this was too good to be true? I decided to remain rational. He probably just thinks of me as a very important friend, maybe even like a sister and feels embarrassed to say so. Yes, that was surely it.
"Ron, there's no need to be embarrassed about valuing my friendship. Your friendship and Harry's are probably the most important things in my life, and they're the best things that ever happened to me." I said gently.
Ron gave a sort of pained smile which made me wonder... did he fancy me? Surely not...
"Yeah, I figured as much. Thing is... with you it's different to Harry." he said.
"Different how?" I asked, my breath catching in my throat. My voice was barely above a whisper.
"Well... you're a girl..." Ron started.
"I thought that was well established." I joked. Ron didn't smile, and I mentally facepalmed. This was not the time to crack jokes. How did Ron always know when to crack a joke? Why am I so bad at this?
"Obviously. But I sort of worked it out at the Yule ball that just being your friend... it didn't feel like it was enough for me. If you want to stay friends that's fine, don't get me wrong, and if you don't want to speak to me ever again after this, I get it, but I'm... sort of crazy about you. Fuck it, I love you." he said.
Watching him trip over his own words and struggling to tell me the one thing I'd wanted to hear for over a year was probably one of the best experiences of my life. I was giddy. Ecstatic. Completely over the moon, on cloud nine.
Before I knew what I was doing or before I could stop myself, I jumped onto him and kissed him as hard as I could. I definitely caught Ron off guard, but he didn't waste much time before wrapping his arms around my waist. I thought I was lucky before, but this... this puts everything else to shame. Ron Weasley... in love with me!
About thirty seconds later, I reluctantly pulled away from him.
"Hermione... what the hell is going on?" he asked, causing me to laugh out loud.
"What exactly do you think is going on?" I asked, smiling broadly at him.
"Well you snogged me. But what the hell is going on?" he asked again.
"Did it cross your mind while we were snogging, where might I add you had your arms wrapped around me, that just maybe I might feel the same way as you?" I asked, more than a little bit amused.
"Well... yeah, it did." Ron replied sheepishly.
"Then guess what? You were right." I said, hugging him again.
"Blimey. So what are we now then?" Ron asked.
"For someone who's normally quite clever you're not thinking straight right now, are you?" I asked.
"Can you blame me? This is something that I didn't think would ever be happening. I didn't ever think I'd get this far, so I've never known what I'd do if this actually happened." said Ron.
"I suppose that's fair. In a situation like this, most people would consider themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. I'd say that we're the same, wouldn't you?" I said.
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are. This feels weird you know, calling you my girlfriend. Good weird, but still weird." Ron said.
"I hope we'll have enough time together for it to be considered normal, rather than weird." I said. Ron had one of those rare moments where he said the absolute perfect thing to make me feel better.
"Don't worry. I'll see to that."