Welcome to "Insanity in the Leaf Village." I'm Agent HUNK, your writer and host for this little misadventure. You may know me and my stories, or you might be a new reader, especially since I've never written a (decent) Naruto fan fic.
Anyway, this is a story about the self-inserts of myself and my friend Dr. Insane-O. Don't worry, all Naruto characters shall remain as In Character as possible.
This story takes place during the 1 month period before the Final Exam, during which Naruto met Jariaya and all that jazz.
Review, please! Compliments, flames, ideas, complaints, I don't care! Just pleeeeeease leave reviews after reading this story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
It was a normal day in the world of Naruto. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and everything was peaceful. Inside of the village, the people were happy and busy. The outside of the village was deserted, however. The dirt path in front of the gates into the Leaf Village was deserted.
For the moment, at least.
The peace outside the gate was broken by a loud boom and a bright flash of light. Instantly, two men appeared standing on the dirt path. One of them was wearing a black uniform, fingerless gloves, a bullet proof vest, elbow and knee pads, a gas mask with red goggles, and a helmet. The other man, who had short brown hair, was wearing a black tuxedo, red tie, a white lab coat, and two monocles. The two men looked at their surroundings for a few seconds, and then at each other.
"Dude, where are we?" the man in the lab coat spoke first.
"How should I know?" the Kevlar-clad man shrugged.
"Well, you're the dude with the freaky-deaky magical powers!" the man in the lab coat exclaimed.
"And I seem to have made a mistake with those powers..." the soldier-looking man shrugged again. "I meant to send us to the burger restaraunt. Not some dirt path in front of a big gate."
"Gate?" the man in the lab coat looked up at the gate. "Is that a gate?"
"What else would it be?" the other man sighed.
"A door?" the guy in the lab coat smirked.
"For a doctor, you're an idiot, Dr. Insane-O..." the other man shook his head.
"I'm an idiot?" Dr. Insane-O was taken aback.
"Yes. Yes, you are. You are quite an idiot," the other man repeated his statement.
"Yeah, well... I bet you're reeeeeeeally ugly under that mask, Agent HUNK!" Dr. Insane-O poked his friend in the chest, which served no purpose as the Kevlar vest absorbed the force of the blow and made his finger hurt.
"You've seen my face..." Agent HUNK replied calmly.
"Yeah, well maybe it changed since the last time I saw it!" Dr. Insane-O suggested.
"Again. You're an idiot..." Agent HUNK shook his head.
"I am not an idiot! I HAVE A PhD!" Dr. Insane-O pulled a piece of paper out of his coat.
"That you drew on a piece of paper yourself. Quite badly, I might add..." Agent HUNK pointed out.
"Grrr..." Dr. Insane-O growled. "Okay, whatever! Where are we, anyway?"
"We've gone over this already..." Agent HUNK sighed. "I don't know..."
---
Meanwhile, atop the gate, two Leaf Village shinobi were watching the show with curiosity and confusion. They were great heroes to the people of the Leaf Village, and two of the greatest ninja ever to live. They were Kakashi Hatake and Might Guy. And they had no idea what it was that they were looking at.
"Hm..." Kakashi mused to himself. "And they just appeared out of nowhere?"
"That's what the witnesses said..." Guy replied, not taking his eyes off the two men bickering below them.
"Should we capture them?" Kakashi asked.
"They don't look like enemy shinobi..." Guy shrugged, turning his back on the sight.
"Looks can be decieving..." Kakashi warned.
"Lets just watch them for a few more minutes," Guy suggested.
"Uh oh..." Kakashi suddenly leaned forward.
"What?" Guy spun about to see what was happening. "Hmmm... this might be interesting..."
---
"No, you're stupid!" Dr. Insane-O yelled, poking Agent HUNK's chest.
"No, you're stupid!" Agent HUNK did the same.
"No, you are!"
"No, you!"
"No, you!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"MY FINGER HURTS!!!" Dr. Insane-O exclaimed. "Poking Kevlar is not a good idea..."
"Gee, ya think?" Agent HUNK chuckled. A kunai suddenly streaked past his head, cutting his laughter short. "Eh?"
"Here's the deal..." a rugged looking fellow swaggered out of some bushes alongside the road, followed by three other men. "Give us all your money..."
"Oh, great. Bandits..." Agent HUNK sarcastically moaned.
"Or else?" Dr. Insane-O arched an eyebrow.
"Or else, this!" Out of the bushes rushed another man. In the blink of an eye, he closed the distance between himself and Agent HUNK. He rammed into the defenseless man and jabbed a kunai into his stomach. Without a sound, Agent HUNK leaned forward onto the man's shoulder limply.
"Agent HUNK!" Dr. Insane-O yelled. He was suddenly cut down by several shuriken striking his back, and he fell to the ground with a dull thud.
---
"Hm. Well, I guess they wheren't spies..." Kakashi sighed sadly.
"Yeah. Well, lets go take care of the bandits..." Guy drew a kunai and prepared to jump down.
"Wait!" Kakashi held up a hand to stop him.
"Huh?" Guy looked down. "What?"
"Just watch..." Kakashi advised him.
---
"Heh heh heh..." the man supporting Agent HUNK's body chuckled. "Fools. You should have just given us the money..."
"Okay, two things..." Agent HUNK suddenly lifted his head up.
"HUH?!" the bandits all stared in disbelief.
"One... I'm wearing a Kevlar vest..." he nodded downward. "And two... You made a big mistake."
"Two things from me, too!" Dr. Insane-O sat up. "One... I'm wearing an indestructable lab coat! And two... I'm just going to sit back and watch Agent HUNK rape your souls!" he grinned.
"Rape our souls?" the man in front of Agent HUNK arched an eyebrow.
"Yes. Now prepare to have your soul raped. It won't be fun!" Agent HUNK suddenly reached up and grabbed the dude by the throat. He forced the flailing man to stare into his goggles, and after a few minutes the man stopped moving. Agent HUNK then threw him to the ground. "Who's next?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" the remaining bandits screamed and ran off.
"YEAH!!! YEAH!!! WHAT NOW!? WHAT NOW?!" Dr. Insane-O cheered. He then turned to face Agent HUNK and asked nervously: "Did you really rape his soul? I mean, I was just joking, but that was freaky..."
"No," Agent HUNK shook his head. "I just choked him until he passed out. He should wake up..." he kicked the sleeping bandit, "Eventually."
"Hm..." Dr. Insane-O nodded his head. "I see."
"HELLO THERE!!!" a loud voice suddenly exclaimed. Dr. Insane-O and Agent HUNK both turned to see who was talking to them. A few feet away from them stood Kakashi and Guy. "EVERYBODY ENJOYING THEIR YOUTH?" Guy flashed a goofy grin.
"SWEET GRACIOUS!!!" Agent HUNK exclaimed. "IT'S KAKASHI HATAKE!!!"
"GUY SENSEI!!!" Dr. Insane-O sank to his knees and crawled over to Guy. He then began to hug his leg and kiss his feet. "YOU'RE MY HERO!!!"
"TEACH MEEEEE!!!" Agent HUNK did the same to Kakashi.
"..." Kakashi and Guy both looked at each other. They shrugged, looked down at the two men, and then knocked them both out with a swift kick to the face.
And so the madness begins. How much trouble are Dr. Insane-O and Agent HUNK going to get into?
Well, I suppose it depends on your definition of trouble...
Again... please review!