Disclaimer:
Author: Hayley
Date: 26.06.08
Rating: M (reference to death)
Author's Notes: this is my first sea patrol fic. Please comment. Not sure if anyone will like. Unfortunately Kate and Mike don't belong to me! Izzie does and Kate's mum.
Title: Crystal tears.
Tears born in the eyes live down the cheeks and die on the lips.
The silhouette increasingly grew bigger as he walked closer to the fragile body, in the dark of the summer night. If you were a passer by you could swear that this lonely person was crying, but no one dared to see if she was okay. He slowly sat besides her not daring to say anything; just waiting, he didn't know what for but he just waited.
She sat there not willing to move; she couldn't, even if she wanted to. The tears ran down her cheeks and died on her lips. She would never let anyone see her crying but today she couldn't careless. No one would ever understand the pain she had encountered over the years. Without looking she knew the body sitting down next to her. He was the only one that could truly ever make her feel safe.
He looked at her as she looked out to sea. For a brief moment all the memories came rushing back to him, all the feelings and words from years ago. Sitting in the quiet night, the waves crashing against the shore, creating their own peaceful music.
"Kate what's wrong?" he asked trying not to intrude, knowing that she may not like the closeness of him.
She couldn't speak, still staring out to sea. She turned and stared him in the eyes, the emotions still raw; on the surface, easily to be exposed. Her eyes glistened in the moonlight, he could see the tears forming at the bottom, threatening to escape and yet again roll down her cheeks and die on her lips.
"Do you ever wish you could run away from it all?"
Her voice so soft that only they could hear, so shaky she wonder if it would break in her throat.
A confused look grew over his olive skin, wrinkles forming on his forehead. Staring at her Mike couldn't understand what was going on. The crying, her body more fragile than ever before made him worried and he knew she knew it.
"Run away from what?"
The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore grew louder as their voices grew softer. The clouds rolling creating havoc threatening to rain upon the ocean. The wind slightly colder and sharper on her skin. She knew she had said too much, let to many of her thoughts run free. She used to always get in trouble for talking when it wasn't necessary or when her mother or stepfather didn't ask her to.
"Everything, people and their baggage, little problems like what to eat or what not to, life in general."
She was now looking back out to sea; he was too. He knew this was hard for her, to let him in especially after everything. He breathed in deeper trying to figure out what his usually right to the point XO was on about.
"Kate…"
His voice grew softer almost to a whisper; he didn't know what to say. He didn't want her shutting him out; not now. She knew she had to tell him something now, but didn't want to let the truth out.
"When you got hurt, I went to the hospital and I ran into Jim… He…well we, aren't together anymore"
This was news to Mike, he knew how much Jim made her smile, but he still wasn't convinced. He turned and looked at her, she turned to him. They were staring each other in the face.
"Tell me the truth Kate"
He used her first name, this meant he was serious and she knew it. He was looking her in the eyes and she knew he saw something deeper beyond the surface; this was it, she had to tell him now. She sighed, her body feeling so light. Her skin was tingling from being so close to him, surly this wasn't allowed. She shook her head focusing back onto what was soon to become known by someone other than her and her 10-year-old self.
"Today is the anniversary of my mothers suicide"
Mike was now truly confused. The wind had died down but was still present and the tears that were once threatening to fall had fallen down Kate's rosy cheeks, leaving marks that looked like that they were going to stain.
Mikes heart was beating hard in his chest. His eyes so focused on the beautiful blonde sitting so close to him that he could smell her perfume.
"Why was he in prison"
" When I was 10 he bashed my mother and sister. All I can truly remember is my mother lying in a pool of her own blood on the lounge room floor finding it hard to breathe, trying to fight him but he was to strong and my sister screaming for me to help."
Mike couldn't believe his ears, the words making the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. How could someone possibly do that to someone they said they loved.
Kate's voice was finding it hard to fight the sobs that welled in her throat.
"When the police were taking my step father away, he threatened that I would be next. My mother and sister were taken to hospital, Izzie didn't make it through the night, her body couldn't handle the shock. My mother suffered depression for months afterwards, she began to drink and bring home feral men. She thought it would replace what she had lost but it made it worse. One day, when I got home from school she was just laying on the floor, her eyes open but so empty. She was so cold and pale"
The tears were rolling down mikes cheeks now, he knew Kate had lost her mother when she was only young but he never knew the story, now he knew he wished he didn't.
His life was completely different to hers; both parent's alive and married and a brother and sister still alive, great up bringing. He felt sick and selfish, how could he possibly have such a perfect life when his Kate had such a terrible one.
"After that day I lived with a foster family, I hated it."
He could feel her body shudder from the tears, he didn't want her to feel that way, and the pain was to hard for her to deal with on her own. He turned and reached up and placed his hand on her cheek and wiped away the tears that fell. This wasn't fair.
He pulled her into him, her head resting on his chest. She could hear his heart beating fast. He could feel the warmth that her body let off. They sat like that for ages.
"My mother was the only person, after my sister that I had left, then she left me"
She was sobbing now.
" I had nothing after her, for years I felt so lonely. Until-"
Kate realised what she was saying and as quickly as she began she stopped. Mike froze; he knew what she was going to say she didn't need to continue. He mentally kicked himself, for what seemed like the millionth time.
"Kate –"
"Don't say you're sorry, you did what you had to"
"But if I hadn't had done it, maybe I could've helped you earlier."
"I didn't want you to"
They both knew it was true, she didn't want his help back then and he didn't want to give it, harsh yeah they both knew that, but they couldn't help it.
"Well maybe I could help you now"
Kate looked up at him from his chest; she struggled and smile but it out shone the crystal like tears on her face.
"I'd like that"
Her voice not much more than a whisper. He placed a kiss on her fore head.
"Kate"
They were looking back out to sea now.
"Yes"
"I love you"
She pulled away from him, out of his embrace. The cold hugging around her body replacing his arms. He looked at her, yet again kicking himself.
Suddenly she smiled.
" I love you too."
She took her position back to where it was before. Closing her eyes smiling.
He closed his eyes, smiling. Knowing that this was the first step of the second chance that he thought he might never get again.
The last of the Crystal tears was born in her eye, lived down her cheek and died on her lips.