Ok. Ok. So this time, I was listening to the song Mozaik Role aaannnndddd I just couldn't resist. I really couldn't... It was actually Nano's english dub that inspired me to write this and I thought about making Gumi the main character...but I just wasn't feeling it... I guess my Lenku tendencies kicked in again...
This one-shot is in Miku's point of view, btw.
Now, Enjoy~~~~ (and REVIEW! SUGGEST! COMMENT! ect...)
Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form. The plot line is alllll mine, but some of the words aren't. There's pieces of the lyrics from Nano's Mozaik Role weaved in here. I claim no credit to them.
~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~
There are words you cannot hear, and yet, they stab your heart so endlessly. From the deepest cut, a fluid runs. It burns up everything in its path. Let's call it….love….
My life is very repetitive. Nothing much changes from one day to the next. Everyday, I wake up and I get ready for school. I leave my house 7:20 on the dot.
I make a ten minute walk to school.
During those ten minutes, I greet Mrs. Jhonson, Mr. Greenway, Ami Smith who's out walking her dog, the old shopkeeper on Thackery Road and the old man in a rocking chair on a porch. In that exact order. Then, I reach the school and walk up the stone steps. Here in this old stone building, there is some variety, but not much.
Maybe on some mornings, I'll be tripped. On other mornings, my books might be knocked out of my hands. Sometimes, someone will "accidentally" crash into me and send me flying into a locker. It all depends on the day.
By the time I reach my locker, it's 7:35, sometimes 7:40, if it's an especially harsh morning.
But without a doubt, no matter what time I arrive at my locker, Len Kagamine, a beautiful and popular boy with honey blonde hair and azure eyes, always ends up passing by, always reaching out a long arm and gently brushing through my long teal hair, shooting me a tantalizing smile. Always on his arm is his girlfriend, SeeU, a delicate innocent type girl with long pale blonde hair that flows in gentle waves. They are beautiful together….
My favorite time of the day though is 4:00. By 4:00, I'm in a hidden meadow behind the school that I discovered about a year ago. There's a huge maple tree right in the middle that provides a delicious amount of shade. And always, by 4:00, a pair of longs legs approach me and sit down right next to me. Stroking my hair, gentle hands guide me up until I'm face to face with the beautiful boy that I'm in love with but not allowed to be with: Len Kagamine. He loves me. But we are the only ones who know this….
He smiles gently at me and slowly, I climb into his lap before reaching up and meeting his lips with mine. Instantaneously, he captures my lips within his own, hungrily devouring them. Within seconds, we tumble to the ground. Moments later, he's on top of me and I see it in his eyes. They are eyes that hold a promise of boundless pleasure and I know for a fact that Len is one the keeps such promises….
Our bodies clash together and I drown in pleasure. There is only him. There is only me. No one else. He is my breath and I am his. The voice that escapes my lips is laced with happiness. I don't need to think. Just feel. Here, in this moment of just me and him, reality is unreal. It can't hurt me. Everything is absolutely...perfect.
The saddest part of my day is after 6:00. After 6:00, Len is dressed up and ready to leave. I am always left behind. We can't be seen together after all...
I don't like watching him leave. He never looks back. It always makes me extremely...lonely. Sometimes, I reach out an arm to see if I can hold on and catch him. Hold him back a little longer... Keep him by my side for a few moments more...
But I never do...
He is always too far...
Slowly, he fades into the distance...
The ending never changes...
GAME: RESET
A new day starts again. I get ready to face the day as I usually do. My morning is no different than usual.
Except today…instead of merely passing by my locker, Len rests onto the lockers in front of mine and kisses SeeU. He is so close, just a few steps away. But they are steps that I am simply not allowed to take. A force stronger than I holds me back, melds my feet to the floor. His eyes lock with mine. And I, captivated, am unable to move.
I try to imagine that it's me in those arms. But that is not my reality.
As I endure my classes, I try to think about what "Love" is.
Everyday, there is a lacking of sympathy. It doesn't matter if I'm made fun of right in front of him. It doesn't matter how hard I fall. It doesn't matter if I'm hurt or bleeding. It doesn't matter if I cry and more often than not, he'll lock eyes with me. He knows that the moment is painful, and yet, he's never helped me once.
Our sex? As much as I love it, I know that at this point, it is simply a formality. What else would we do during those shaded afternoons anyways?
That is the honesty of our love.
And even though I hate to think about it, it is our reality. So for the first time, I wondered.
Is "Love" really something that's locked and kept away from anybody else?
But then I remembered.
It doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.
He loves me. I love him. And that is the only truth I need to know….
GAME: RESET
Yesterday, something changed. Len didn't show up under the maple tree like he usually does.
I waited and waited…but he never showed up. It was unbearably lonely.
And as I waited for him, I wondered if "Love" was something that was full of hurt and pain.
Because, if not, then what else would explain what was happening? What would explain the odd feeling in my chest? What would explain the tears slowly rolling down my face? I'm not sure I understand...
This morning, he passed by as well. Things are back to normal.
Except, things are not normal.
There, on his neck, is a bright hickey. I wasn't the one that gave it to him. I'm never allowed to leave a mark on him anyways... Such a visual form of branding is simply something that is not allowed between us.
Ah…I know. I think I understand. It seems that his body is no longer just mine…. I must now be a good girl and share.
But everything will be ok. Because I love him and he loves me.
That is the only truth I need to know.
Except, why am I so mad? I don't think I like the idea of sharing.
As Len passes by, with an arm wrapped around SeeU's waist, something burns in my chest. I don't think it is "Love".
This is...This is...hate?
GAME: RESET
Len didn't come yesterday.
Or the day before that.
I wonder: is this what they really call "Love"?
All this hurt?
All this hate?
Does it ever go away?
There is a lacking of sympathy and our sex is just a formality.
But I understand…Really...I really do…This is the honesty between you and me.
Our love is something that is kept locked away.
Our love is something that is kept away from anybody else.
It doesn't matter if I hate it. It is simply the reality of you and me.
And still, I won't let this go…..
GAME: RESET
Today, after school, I decided to change things up on my own. Instead of waiting in the meadow, I am waiting on the school roof where I can see the blue sky. Today, they remind me of his eyes. I always did love them.
Ah. My phone is vibrating. That never happens. It seems that change is happening already….
It's from Len. He wants to know where I am. With a giggle, I text back, letting him know that I'm on the roof. He arrives fifteen minutes later. Today he's not just arms and legs. Today, he's not in pieces. Today, I can see him whole. He has a smirk on his face. But like usual, he sits down next to me and strokes my hair.
No.
This is too much like usual. It just won't do.
Abruptly, I get up. After a moment, I decide to skip over to the small fence bordering the roof. Raising an eyebrow, my love, my Len…wait no. He's no longer just my Len, is he? No. Now he's SeeU's Len too...
I don't think I like that...
Ah. He's talking. " – playing some sort of game today?"
"Game?" I say. A game... I think about it. Taste the word on my lips. Let it flow through my body. Yes. That is what this is...
"Yes!" I exclaim. "Let's play a game! A game! But not this game! I'm tired of this game…"
I think a bit more. Yes! Now the answer is clear! Now I know what to do!
I face Len and gaze lovingly into his eyes. "I have an idea...Let's reset this game for the last time, shall we?"
Confused, Len asks "Wait…what? Miku, what are you talking about?"
Happily, cheerfully, I continue to skip over to the small fence - such a cute fence - and hop over it.
Yes. This is the easiest way to finally reset this game once and for all….
Hugging the fence with my forearms, I explain it all to Len. "Len! I finally figured it all out! I finally figured out what "Love" is!
After thinking and thinking, I've finally figured out what it is!
And then, after thinking about it even moorrree, I figured out that this is just our undeniable fate. It doesn't matter how much the game changes! The ending is always the same!
But you know what?
I don't like this game. Not anymore.
I don't like this end.
I don't like this "Love".
I don't like this fate of ours….So I'm going out to find a new one!
But I can't do that unless I reset this game, this love, once and for all, you know? Do you understand now? Please tell me that you do!"
My Len runs over to me. Wait no. That's no longer my Len. I'm about to set that Len free, once and for all…. I'm about to let him go once and for all... Therefore, he is no longer my Len...not anymore...
Len grasps my hands, tightly. Yes. Everything is changing. This never happens after all….
With a worried voice, he implores me to cross the fence again.
But I don't want to.
I want the game to play out differently today.
I shake my head and tell him once again. "No Len. This is the final act of our little play. This is our fate. It just can't be changed. Don't you understand?"
Again, Len begs. "Miku, please. Cross the fence."
Ah. I'm so happy, I could cry. This would be the best reset yet…. Too bad it will be the final...
I let go of the fence. Fear sparks in Len's eyes. He grasps my arms so tightly that it hurts...
Gently, I stroke his hair and guide his face towards mine. And before he makes contact, before I devour us both, I say, "Len. Kiss me now. Seal the vow." And under my breath, so that he can't hear, I whisper, "And let me die today…."
It's a heated kiss. It's a kiss full of desperation. But is it full of "Love"?
Ah. But I don't care. Not anymore. Everything is so beautifully different I could explode with joy.
I think, maybe...maybe...I shouldn't reset after all?
But then I remember:
I "Love" him.
He "Loves" me.
This is the honesty of our "Love".
And this is the undeniable fate our "Love" holds.
THERE IS NO OTHER ENDING.
I gently pull away and grasp his shoulders. I tell him the final words. "Now Len Kagamine…You will watch me fade away…."
And before he can stop me, with all of the strength in my body, I force us apart.
The roof of the school building catches him.
But me?
Nothing catches me but the air and the tantalizing blue sky.
I raise my arm up, wondering if it's close enough to touch. It's not. Even now, it's still to far for me to reach...
Ah! I understand!
I UNDERSTAND!
I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT IT ALL MEANS!
I too must watch my love fade away, right...until...the...very...last...second…..
LOVE : RESET
.:GAME OVER:.
PLAY AGAIN? . . . . . . YES / .:NO:.
FILE : . . . . . .:DELETE:.
NEW GAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . ?
Damn...this ended dark...MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Lolz. Sorry sorry. I couldn't resist. yeah...I'm talking about the evil laugh and the unhappy(?)/suicidal ending. What can I say? I just love the idea of character insanity...what does that say about me? Hmmmm...I'm not really sure and I don't know if I want to...oh well. No matter. ^^
But happy day! Tomorrow I'll be publishing a new [non-oneshot] Lenku fic. I can't wait to release it!
Smiles, Sunset.