A/N: This was a prompt from my sistah that I totally didn't see coming. I thought it was cute and adorable, so I'm giving it to you guys ^.^ Nothing like a bit of family fluff after a long day, right? Enjoy X3
I don't own Borderlands cuz...I don't. So yeah. Take that.
Living out in the middle of nowhere was a boon for Tina. Oh sure, sometimes it got lonely, but the amount of freedom vastly outweighed the need for company, and it wasn't as if she never had any. She could do what she wanted, when she wanted, and how she wanted. Nobody could be the boss of Tiny Tina. She didn't need anyone's assistance.
Except when she did.
Looking up, Tiny Tina glared at the lip of the hole, willing it to get shorter so she could pull herself up. The natural laws of the world, however, did not bend to her wishes, and thus the hole remained exactly as it had been before.
"This is bullshit!" she screeched, throwing her arms up as she deemed her mind tricks useless. "Who just digs a hole?! What kind of sicko would pull this kinda shit?!"
The hole wasn't particularly large, only about a yard in diameter and about seven feet deep. It was however, large enough for Tina to fall in and tall enough for her not to be able to get back out. It wasn't like she could just blow it up either; not unless she wanted to go up with it, and Tina refused to die in a hole via her own explosives. That was just so lame.
The young demolitionist tried pulling some Zer0 type moves and jumping from wall to wall, but it just resulted in her ending up at the bottom of the hole again. The underground of Pandora was admittedly more moist the surface, but that mostly just made it into a frail, shale-like mineral that broke away and crumbled easily. Someone jumping or climbing wouldn't even stand a chance.
This, Tina decided, was quickly becoming a problem. Whoever made this hole was going to pay with their life.
Assuming Tina could ever get out of it.
Someone would notice her disappearance, she was sure of it. The Vault Hunters would come and get her and they would laugh at her because she fell in a hole and then she would invite them for bombs and crumpets.
So Tiny Tina harrumphed and leaned against a wall of the hole, arms crossed over her chest. She could wait this out; she was patient damnit! All she had to do is wait for someone to notice she was missing.
Several hours later and Tina was starting to wonder if anyone even cared at all.
She was so certain someone would notice, but really thinking about it, the residents near could go week without hearing from her, sometimes even a month.
What would she do if nobody came?
Tina growled, pushing her fists hard into her forehead.
"Why is this happening to me!" she screamed. "Get me outa here!"
"Tina?" responded a familiar voice.
"Mordy!"
There was the sound of rapid footsteps.
"OhmyGod, Tina are you okay? Oooh, shit!" Mordecai's dread-locked head peered over the edge of the hole. Tina waved to him happily.
"Yo Mordy, you wanna help a sistah out?"
Mordecai's face changed rapidly. It went from horrified, to confused, then back to horrified.
"Tina!" he exclaimed. "Tina don't move! Don't move an inch!"
"Yo, don't worry hommie. I'v-"
"No Tina. I mean it; don't make any sudden movement!"
"...Why?"
"Because there's a pressure activated claw trap down there that's big enough to slice you in half."
"...A whonowwhat?"
"A trap, Tina, it was meant for the spiderants. You fell into a deathtrap."
Oh.
Oh.
"Aw snap Mordi, how deep am I?"
Tiny Tina could see the hunter fiddling with something near the edge.
"I'm really, really surprised you're not mince meat."
A rope was tossed down and coiled at Tina's feet.
"Climb up amiga. Whatever you do, don't step near the pressure plates."
Tina gulped. "Where are they?"
"Everywhere."
"Riiiiight."
Tina grasped the rope, knotted the end, and hoisted herself up. Bracing her feet against the wall of the hole, she started to ascend up.
"Come on almost there-"
As soon as she was about halfway up, her foot hold crumbled. Tiny Tina lost balance and thus lost grip of the rope.
"Tina!"
Everything was a blurr. Her stomach dropped, her breath left her. The world seemed to slow around her.
Crack!
Snap!
Tina's back arched as she slammed into something hard. All of the air in her body was forced out of her and she was left coughing and gasping against it.
"Tina! Tina, oh God!"
There was a thump as someone jumped down there with her. Tina attempted to shift, to move, and the world dropped out from her again. Once again she fell onto something hard; this time, the ground.
Mordicai whisked her up, setting her up right against the wall.
"Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Do you have all your limbs?"
Tina attempted to push the crowding hunter away. She needed air and space.
"I-I'm Fiii-cough-ne shorty." she stammered. Mordicai almost instantly backed off, revealing the largest bear trap she had ever seen. She was sure it would swallow Brick and spit him out looking like stromboli.
"That thing is AWESOME!"
Mordicai paused.
"You almost died by its teeth." he reminded.
"Naw, shorty. I can't die. You saved me."
"I could have missed! The bullet might not have had enough pressure to set it off before you were in it. It-"
Tiny Tina waved him off.
"Aw comeon Mordy. Whats with all the doubt yo? You got skill bitch. I was fine! Now get me out of this totally rude hole and back to my humble abode."
Mordicai seemed to deflate under the demolitionist arguments.
"So… You're not hurt?"
"Nah brah."
"At all?"
Tina raised an eyebrow at him. The hunter threw up his hands.
"Alright, alright, you're fine. I get it. Geez…"
The next few minutes were filled with Mordecai and Tiny Tina climbing on top of the enormous, now closed, trap, and ascending up the rest of the hole via Mordy's rope. Once out, Tina dusted off her dress and curtsied to Mordicai.
"Thank you Sir Mordicai for your valiant rescue and assistance."
The hunter deadpanned.
"Maybe I'm too used to dealing with Lili... I thought you were going to yell at me for not getting you sooner."
"Pfffft." Tina flopped a wrist. "PULease, I'm nothing like Lili; I don't have nowhere near the rack. Or the buns… Ohhh them buns…"
Mordecai took half a step back from Tina as she started drooling slightly.
"Uh, yeeeah… well, I better get back to my casa. Preserves not going to watch itself."
"By the by, before your fine ass self leaves, how'd you find me?" asked the demolitionist, successfully stalling a retreating Mordicai. Half turning, he tapped his goggles.
"These eyes don't miss anything. When I did my usual check up of your place, I didn't see hide nor grenade of ya. Figured something was up."
"Usual.. checkup?" Tina's brow furrowed as she no doubt mulled the words over in her brain. Mordicai shrugged.
"Sure. No offense, but your still just a kid. Someones gotta make sure you're not dead. What better than Pandora's finest sniper?"
Tiny Tina pouted, although both parties knew it was fake.
"I can take care of myself just fine." she stated.
"Never said you couldn't. It's just good to have someone watching your back. You're not as alone as you think Tina."
With that Mordecai turned to walk away. He got a couple of feet away before a smaller body slammed into his, nearly knocking him off of his feet. Scrawny arms wrapped around his middle and a face was buried into his lower chest.
Then it was over and he was released before he could even contemplate what had happened. Now it was him watching her walk away, her hand lifted in a short wave.
"You're not either, my wonderful drunken bastard. We can be less alone together. Crumpets, my place. Two hours. It'll be a crumpocolypse."
Mordicai watched her retreating figure with a complete vacuous befuddlement. Once she had completely disappeared from view, he shook himself.
"Weird kid." he mumbled, but his head was elsewhere. He wondered if it was appropriate to bring booze to a party with a young female demolitionist. He figured not, and decided to snag some jerky instead.
Mordy allowed himself a genuine smile.
Less alone together indeed.
Fin.
PS I now have added "Crumpocolypse" and "Mordy" to my dictionary. BLASPHEMY that they were not there originally, because they are totally real words.
Somewhere.
I know so.
...
Kinda?